“You are the most insolent, impudent, impetuous, and incorrigible individual I have ever met,” he hisses, “and that is only one letter of the alphabet.”
“You forgot irritating and idiot,”
from a body in absentia

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@darkandgrimm
“You are the most insolent, impudent, impetuous, and incorrigible individual I have ever met,” he hisses, “and that is only one letter of the alphabet.”
“You forgot irritating and idiot,”
from a body in absentia
The Greco Egyptian Magical Fragments are so fun
If I was drinking with the girls and someone threw a dog-bitten rock near me, I would ask the caster what's up. Why we throwing dog rocks?
I tried distracting a vampire by throwing rice at him, but I only had two grains with me so it didn't work. He counted them instantly. Then he asked me what I was even doing with exactly two grains of rice, and I explained how a bowl of rice tastes better if you spread it out over an entire day. I asked him if he was gonna suck my blood but he said no, he just had a lot more questions about the rice thing.
See what no one tells you about having parents who have been successfully polyamorous and active in the tri-state kink community for 29 years is that as their adult child, there is a high probability that at any event you go to someone will have slept with one or both of your parents. There is no escaping this. They've been doing it for decades. They've lain claim to like half the east coast
Wonder Woman: Batman, we could make good use of Nightwing with this. Would you call him?
Dick, who's filling in for Bruce as Batman: I'll call him
---
Hal: you've gained some muscles
Jason, dressed as Nightwing: I started working out
Hal: Damn. What's the routine cause I just saw you last week and you look completely different.
Jason: steroids
Dick, as batman: *chokes on coffee*
---
Superman: We might need someone who's good with guns, hm... Hey Nightwing you're in contact with redhood, right? Could you have him come?
Jason, as Nightwing: ... I don't see why not
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Wonder woman: this security is an issue we need someone who can hack this system long enough for us to get pass
Superman: hey hood, any chance you can give red robin a call?
Tim, with 5 inches of padding, as redhood: on it
---
Hal: isn't robin usually with you all?
Flash: yeah we could use him with this one
Superman: Red Robin, would you call in Robin for us?
Damian, in red robin costume: he's dead
Wonder Woman: I really thought we could get them to bring in the cow dressed as Robin
Superman: do you think if we stall long enough for actual Batman to recover we might get Bruce up here in scaly shorts? Is it worth a try?
I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing
Light Pollution: The Overuse & Misuse of Artificial Light at Night
The Dark Site Finder map lets you get a good sense of where near you might be good for stargazing.
god gives his toughest battles to his strongest lesbians (Available HERE)
"how gay are you?" yes
I'm just going to say it - body hair (and beauty standards in general) is truly one of the final frontiers of women's issues in the West. Too many women just love their gilded cage too much. It shocks me how virulently women will defend it. I barely open my mouth and the "well I like how it feels. it just makes me feel cleaner. sensory issues. I do it for me. feminism is about choosing (to conform)." brigade come rushing in by the dozens.
Well I don't like how it feels. I don't feel cleaner without body hair. I don't prefer not having body hair. But who will advocate for women like me, but me? For women who do like hair removal, they are advocated for every time they step out of the house and see 99% of the female population also conforming to that standard, or when they watch a movie and see all the shaved actresses, or view an advertisment, or open a magazine, or watch a music video, or scroll through social media, or walk down the streets without receiving insults and glares for having a completely normal bodily feature.
You genuinely can't even point out that hairlessness is a man-made standard without women losing their shit and acting like they are totally immune to propaganda they've been exposed to from birth. I'm so tired.
Turn Undead's verbal component is "Shitty Bullshit Skeletons", a very mean cover of the classic Halloween song
Shitty, bullshit skeletons Are shitters, scum, and slime Stupid skulls to mock and bully Fuck them up tonight
Shitty, bullshit skeletons That shriek like such a bitch They’ll shake and shudder in surprise When you turn this fucking lich
I’m not sorry, skeletons, your jokes are not so good You want to fucking socialize? (Go drown in fucking mud.)
'Cause shitty, bullshit skeletons Shout stupid fucking things They’ll say plural “sarcophagus” Is “sarcophagoging”
Spirits supernatural are dumb, and that’s a plus But osteo-reanimae are all also a wuss
Stupid, bullshit skeletons Aren’t mean; they’re fucking dicks They’ll grab you by your hyoid bone And throw you in the Styx
Sticks and stones may break their bones But we shall break their pride Cause stupid, bullshit skeletons Will run and fucking hide!
Thinking of that random 3yr old who had a pocket full of pseudolegendary dragons in B2W2...
a Very Important Purchase
Mice! With occupations!
ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs
after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?
i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out
FemStrahd in her coffin the fairytale says a kiss will wake her up, right?