Dark Lord Corndog

Uh oh Currently on a Resident Evil kick. sorry

[darklordcorndog]

[redstonedust]

sticks my finger in the barrel of your gun so it backfires on you looney toons style but the gun moaned and now none of us know what genre we're in.

[kingscrafty]

A mini Heisenberg.... For your troubles......

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[therustyskull]

@ralfmaximus Showers that will kill you

[ralfmaximus]

Holy shit I thought this was a Sims bit or someone playing with CAD software, but the last few seconds knocked me out

[batbetbitbotbut]

@thebibliosphere I'm pretty sure you are the appropriate recipient for other people's terrifying home renovation choices

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[vulcartist]

I translated the Ea-Nasir complaint into vulcan and engraved it in on a cooper plate

[tournevis-real]

The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen

[captain-price-returns]

[pangur-and-grim]

HE USED TO LOOK LIKE THIS!!!

[calicokitkat]

Me: I love strategy/tactical RPGs!

Me, playing such a video game: My strategy is to be physically stronger than my enemy. My tactic is to hit them really really hard.

[galacticsabc]

Here's some unserious comics and hastily drawn doodles

[hailmarysuggest]

I just think that Rocky is the most feral possessive bitch to ever exist when it comes to Grace. Sorry, if you don’t fix my space horse I’m NOT giving you any of the bacteria we almost died to get- oh hello mate Adrian, yes yes, Rocky DOES think this is perfectly rational, why do you ask? No, Rocky ran out of his Eridian Lexapro like four years ago this is now a hostage negotiation-

[flork-of-cows-official]

[cryptotheism]

Here look at the entire Papyrus of Ani

[thatlittleegyptologist]

[cryptotheism]

People were smaller back then

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[epicsause-official]

i think we are long overdue for a game that does the reverse of 90s first person shooters and actively makes fun of the player for picking the hard difficulty

[epicsause-official]

heres kinda what i mean

[viralfrog]

[darklordcorndog]

Servisn’t dog……

[guerrillatech]

[hekatontarch]

[queertail]

The site is '12ft Ladder' found here:

12ft – Hop any paywall

Show me a 10ft paywall, I’ll show you a 12ft ladder.

[sola-whumping]

Reblogging this on ALL my blogs because holy shit is it useful