Thinking about that Tumblr user whose prepper brother was put in an emergency situation and finally got to use his prepper basement only to be in dire straits on the first day because the power was out and his only can opener was electric
for anyone wondering, this is the thread (transcript below the cut):
the original on twitter seems to have been deleted, so this is a 3rd party site
so my eldest brother, who is a moron, has been playing soldier with his moron friends in the deserts of texas for the last year preparing for the collapse of civilization if biden won (lol). they were burying food and ammo stashes out in the desert, running drills, crazy stuff
this included getting a cb license so he could be their lifeline to other groups of white idiots when the cell towers all went offline. wouldn’t want to violate federal law while communicating with your resistance groups after the fall of the federal government i guess.
anyways, you would assume given that they’ve been prepping for the end of the world for at least a year they’re well situated to ride out the rolling blackouts right?
wellll
their plan for cooking and heating during an extended power outage was natural gas, but like a lot of homes their gas service is out. the food in their freezer and fridge is already toast due to the power outrages, so they’re down to canned stuff, but there’s a catch.
they can get into the pull top cans just fine, but the ones that require an opener? their only can opener is electric. so a good 3/4 of his canned food store is inaccessible to him unless he goes after it with a knife, which i sincerely hope he does.
so captain survival was eating unheated ravioli out of a can yesterday because i guess he doesn’t know how to start a fire? they have a fire pit but it too is gas fired.
he told my mom they’re probably going to break into the survival buckets soon. i’m sure that’s great food.
he told my mom that the blackout is due to texas switching everything to “wind power” but that he didn’t discount that the government was doing this on purpose. if you can figure out why they’d arbitrarily freeze out a giant state hey points to you.
the saving grace in all this is he’s having to ration his phone usage so he can’t sit on the phone with my mom for hours crying about it. he’s forced to sit there and talk to his wife, who is almost as dumb as he is.
presumably he’s sitting there shivering, ranting about libs while he sucks down cold beefaroni. what a life.
he’s tried contacting his best friend in his little larping group, but he’s gone to ground. i sincerely hope that means he thinks this is the start of the great purge or whatever and he’s disappeared to the mountains to evade fema and child support bailiffs
i’m trying to get more details from my mom but i have to play it cool. if i laugh she’ll stop telling me about it, so i have to pretend this is very serious and i’m concerned for his safety while i’m imagining him hitting a can of baked beans with a screwdriver repeatedly
on the plus side they’ve got plenty of guns and ammo, so they can shoot the shit out of the snow.
locking two people with marital strife in a house with no supplies, no access to power, but plenty of access to guns and ammo seems like a great idea. i think this should work out great.
just to give you all some additional comfort: his wife is part of the group who helps select the textbooks texas buys every year, just in case you’re wondering about the kind of people that make those decisions.
I thought I'd have a go at doing a card redraw for @poketcg-art's Hoenn series! I was fortunate enough to be able to pick up cradily, one of my top favorite fossils. And a lot of fun to paint.
This artwork is based on otumami's illustration from Cosmic Eclipse. The original card is under the cut!
None of the first four captains speak normally - Kirk needs all eyes on him and speaks faster than his own brain, Picard is straight up Stratfordian, Sisko speaks like he's playing Jazz, and Janeway is Golden Age of Hollywood sanded down just enough to count as realistic
Unfortunately, these may be my last hours because Israel is preventing my treatment. Please leave a donation to help save my six little siblings… and please do not forget them if I die.
kianamaiart
romaincrisis
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prguitarman
origamiaround
areudirty
snowghoul
