Dave from customs

Just a friendly customs worker helping people make sure their ships get sent to the right place.

[dave-from-customs]

Hey guys, just a quick reminder from us here in the customs department.

Please label your fanfictions properly. The amount of times people try to ship two characters without labeling where they are shipping them to is ridiculous.

It's not that difficult either, just label who you are shipping and to what AU you're shipping them to.

Thanks for your time, Dave from customs

[im-literally-so-dun]

Me because I got to witness a major historic event but it was a Good One for once

[julia-miraclebot]

They're bugs. They fuck.

[itsapmseymour]

Now the letter you want to destroy?

E

[dave-from-customs]

This is E slander. E is the most common letter in the alphabet. All letters are made equal.

[vetchtibbles]

being the second child is so lame when your older brother has no fortunes to inherit or power to come into. all of my scheming younger brother tendencies are being completely wasted like it’s not even worth putting all my efforts into usurping him and taking his place as heir. it’s not even worth it

[vetchtibbles]

like obviously I’m still going to do it because plotting and scheming are natural responses to being the second child but it’s just not the most lucrative career option anymore

[industrial---complex]

your dash has been BATFLIED

reblog to batfly other dashes

[dave-from-customs]

Considering that this is my area of expertise, I would like to remind everyone that you can always remind the people who believe fan fiction isn't real art that a large amount of art from the Renaissance was biblical fan fiction.

[dave-from-customs]

Ben and Jerry from Ben and Jerry's ice cream are very clearly in a gay relationship, which leads to the question of who's on top?

[dave-from-customs]

Shout out to the time I distracted a possible scammer by sticking to the bit

[dave-from-customs]

Hey guys, I remembered my Tumblr password.

Anyways, fan fics. You know em, you love em, and so do I. But you know what I don't love? Fan fics without proper shipping labels. It's incredibly annoying having to ship characters if you don't tell us where to ship them to. So please, help out your local customs agent and add shipping lists to your fics.

Remembered their Tumblr password, Dave from customs

[keemun19]

[dave-from-customs]

Take this as constructive criticism, but change the Carbon monoxide detectors in your house

[flork-of-cows-official]

This is genuinely one of the most fucked up things he’s ever posted.

[dave-from-customs]

Alright, so we've all heard of the unwilling servant trope, but what about the opposite?

I want to read about a character who sold their soul, but is so god damn annoying that the creature they sold their soul too is desperately trying to figure out how to get their soul back.

[shencomix]

[dave-from-customs]

This is funny, but you know what's not funny? Shipping characters without a destination. If your ships don't have a destination, we will be forced to send it back to you. And it's not that difficult to simply add a tag that tells us where to send the characters. So please, don't ship characters without a destination.

As always, Dave from customs

[dave-from-customs]

Alright, I know this isn't related to shipping in any way, but I got this absolute shitpost of an ad and I needed to share this

[shencomix]

[dave-from-customs]

Alright, listen. It's not the fact that you are shipping characters that I have a problem with, it's the fact that you are shipping them without labels that we here at customs need in order to do our job. When you want to send a package somewhere, you have to label it with where it's from, where it's going, if it's fragile, potentially hazardous, etc. It's the same thing with shipping characters. We aren't asking for much, just where they're coming from, where it's going, and any precautions we need to take. Please, it's not that difficult.

Respectfully, Dave from customs