♣ Gilmore Girls - Season 5 ♣
This is what happens when the women get the remote
Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch.
Well, then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I am open for business.
I made it extra strong. It should blacken your teeth and rot your stomach.
But this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries’ cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy.
No, I’ve filled my whacking quota for the week.
Boy, I will say anything for a cup of coffee!
I can’t believe you kept this. You kept this in your wallet? You kept this in your wallet…
No _____! This great man was not brought down by my vagina.
Do you like my hair like this?
Wow, sleeping with you is getting me nothing.
Ben Franklin was out of his mind.
Oh. With all that’s going on in the world, all the maids in existence are talking about you.
Huh. ‘Kay, now you’re making me seem a little stuck up.
People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, it’s one less minute you haven’t lived.
I am not a fan of ladders.
Because drinking is bad. It’s very, very bad and we’re bad for doing it.
I think the hangover tomorrow will be punishment enough.
Thank you for not being related to me.
You have a lot of experience with men. How do you let them know that you’re available?
Well, one of those bench ads usually does the trick.
No, it’s the appropriate way to indicate you’re open to a social engagement. Unless, however, you are approaching a weasel. Then I believe the proper signal is just to offer him your hindquarters.
“Hello” is not my line. “Hello” is not a line. “Hello” is hello.
Well, all I know is I hello-ed him today, and now he’s taking me to dinner.
I don’t hate you. I can’t hate the pathetic.
Good squeaky stairs, helps sell the old inn aspect.
Actually, we had those squeaks installed.
College is breaking my spirit. Every single day, telling me things I don’t know. It’s making me feel stupid.
It doesn’t matter if I think he’s cute.
Uh, it matters to me. I don’t want ugly grandchildren.
I love you. I love you, dammit! How many times to I have to tell you? God! Just talk to me.
She’s with me now. I told you that. Let it go.
I will not let it go! Everything was fine until you came along!
Oh, don’t blame me because you couldn’t keep her.
I swear to god, I’m gonna kill you!
Jerk. Ass. Arrogant inconsiderate, mindless frat-boy low-life buttfaced miscreant!
Why would you do something like that?!
Snow is nothing but annoying, icy, frozen water stuff that “falls out of the sky at inconvenient times”! It’s Mother Nature’s icy “Screw you.”
Hey, stop being such a Nancy-boy about the pants. Think Hemingway ever gave a crap what his pants looked like?
Hemingway blew his brains out, also. How much of a role model do you want me to make this guy?
You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are incredibly interesting. You’re definitely girlfriend material. I, however, am definitely not boyfriend material. I can’t do commitment, and I don’t want to pretend to you that I can. If I were to date you, there would be no dating. It would be something, right away, and I’m not that guy.
Oh, no, there’s at least six ATMs within a two block radius and every single one of them is going to tell me that I only have eighteen dollars in my account…and then I believe they will flip me off.
You look so hot when you find me annoying.
And they also think you’re Polynesian and potentially sexually undecided.
Wow, that move always looked cooler in the movies.
Finally something to put on our business cards.
But a conversation with me: priceless.
If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.
You know Superman’s fortress of solitude? A Jamacian beach compared to my mother’s house.
You threw a frying pan at ______ head?
Remind me to tell you about the time my mother wore a Rhine stone penis T-shirt to diner and my grandma had her car towed.
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