Jess Mariano + favorite quotes
requested by @clairedaring

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@dcdger
Jess Mariano + favorite quotes
requested by @clairedaring
rp on twitter also? indeed. - @dcdgerjess !
āæ GILMORE GIRLS STARTERS ā
ā Ā Stop talking to the dogs! Ā ā
ā Ā Get a clue, Columbo. I donāt wanna talk to _____. Ā ā
ā Ā Ugly American, party of one. Ā ā
ā Ā I didnāt know that my every conversation needed to be reported to you. I stand corrected. Ā ā
ā Ā Pure sex walking. Flying, actually. That man could fly. Have you ever thought of taking dance? Ā ā
ā Ā I hugged it, I hugged it really tight. Ā ā
ā Ā You travel with a spatula? Ā ā
ā Ā I bow to the foot of the master. Ā ā
ā Ā What are you thinking, buying an airplane?! Ā ā
ā Ā Everybody in the worldās life flashed before my eyes. Thatās how much time I had. I thought we were gonna die on that van. Ā ā
ā Ā Heās not a 100-year-old eunuch or anything. Ā ā
ā Ā Hard work is good for a woman, makes her stronger. Ā ā
ā Ā Iām downloading wedding stuff from Prague. Ā ā
ā Ā Let me bottom-line it for you. Snakes are gross. Snakes are scary and slithery, and do you know where snakes do not belong? Ā ā
ā Ā The whole trip was a total fiasco. It was the Stones at Altamont times a billion.Ā Ā ā
ā Ā Youāve got one minute to order, then six minutes to eat. Ā ā
ā Ā A coupleās massage is for a couple ā not a couple of people. Ā ā
ā Ā Ow! Rat bastard! Ā ā
ā Ā You can borrow my water bra. Ā ā
ā Ā _____ lied to us. To you. To me. Ā ā
ā Ā Ok, thatās it. Youāre nuts and Iām going - in that order. Ā ā
ā Ā Details please. Donāt leave out anything. We want every comma, apostrophe and ampersand. Ā ā
ā Ā Do you know that butt models make $10,000 a day? Ā ā
ā Ā Something romantic, but not mushy, something that will make us remember this. Ā ā
ā Ā _____ would never hike up her skirt in public. Ā ā
ā Ā Donāt look around, stare straight ahead, no more talking to people ever! Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā Ā goodnight, dodger. ā
The Art of Racing in the Rain (2019)
Milo talking about his parents going with him to the EmmysĀ
Sold to the nice young hoodlum in the back for $90!
I need AUs of jess interferring and appearing during all of this time that is CRAP for Rory. BC IāM READY TO YELL
mingey:Ā #tbtĀ #theArtOfRelaxingOnSet
HEY!ā¦ā¦ā¦ youāre so loved! Youāre doing great!
⣠Gilmore Girls - Season 5Ā ā£
This is what happens when the women get the remote
Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch.
Well, then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I am open for business.Ā
I made it extra strong. It should blacken your teeth and rot your stomach.
But this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countriesā cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy.
No, Iāve filled my whacking quota for the week.
Boy, I will say anything for a cup of coffee!
I canāt believe you kept this. You kept this in your wallet? You kept this in your walletā¦
No _____! This great man was not brought down by my vagina.
You cannot gather here.
Do you like my hair like this?
Wow, sleeping with you is getting me nothing.
Ben Franklin was out of his mind.
Oh. With all thatās going on in the world, all the maids in existence are talking about you.
Huh. āKay, now youāre making me seem a little stuck up.
People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, itās one less minute you havenāt lived.
I am not a fan of ladders.
Because drinking is bad. Itās very, very bad and weāre bad for doing it.
Spank me.
I think the hangover tomorrow will be punishment enough. Ā Ā
Thank you for not being related to me.
You have a lot of experience with men. How do you let them know that youāre available?
Well, one of those bench ads usually does the trick.
No, itās the appropriate way to indicate youāre open to a social engagement. Unless, however, you are approaching a weasel. Then I believe the proper signal is just to offer him your hindquarters.
āHelloā is not my line. āHelloā is not a line. āHelloā is hello.
Well, all I know is I hello-ed him today, and now heās taking me to dinner.
I donāt hate you. I canāt hate the pathetic.Ā Ā
Good squeaky stairs, helps sell the old inn aspect.
Actually, we had those squeaks installed.
College is breaking my spirit. Every single day, telling me things I donāt know. Itās making me feel stupid.
It doesnāt matter if I think heās cute.
Uh, it matters to me. I donāt want ugly grandchildren.
I love you. I love you, dammit! How many times to I have to tell you? God! Just talk to me.
Sheās with me now. I told you that. Let it go.
I will not let it go! Everything was fine until you came along!
Oh, donāt blame me because you couldnāt keep her.
I swear to god, Iām gonna kill you!
Jerk. Ass. Arrogant inconsiderate, mindless frat-boy low-life buttfaced miscreant!
Why would you do something like that?!
Snow is nothing but annoying, icy, frozen water stuff that āfalls out of the sky at inconvenient timesā! Ā Itās Mother Natureās icy āScrew you.ā
Hey, stop being such a Nancy-boy about the pants. Think Hemingway ever gave a crap what his pants looked like?
Hemingway blew his brains out, also. How much of a role model do you want me to make this guy?
You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are incredibly interesting. Youāre definitely girlfriend material. I, however, am definitely not boyfriend material. I canāt do commitment, and I donāt want to pretend to you that I can. If I were to date you, there would be no dating. It would be something, right away, and Iām not that guy.
Oh, no, thereās at least six ATMs within a two block radius and every single one of them is going to tell me that I only have eighteen dollars in my accountā¦and then I believe they will flip me off.
You look so hot when you find me annoying.
And they also think youāre Polynesian and potentially sexually undecided.
Wow, that move always looked cooler in the movies.
Finally something to put on our business cards.
But a conversation with me: priceless.
If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.
You know Supermanās fortress of solitude? A Jamacian beach compared to my motherās house.
You threw a frying pan at ______ head?
Remind me to tell you about the time my mother wore a Rhine stone penis T-shirt to diner and my grandma had her car towed.
āWhat if the person you were meant to be with could never be yours?ā - Lauren Kate
Ask my muse questions about their relationship with another character.
I LOVE THESE PLEASE.
Send me aĀ ā if you enjoy seeing my muse(s) on your dashboard.
Send š to kiss my muse tenderly without explanation
>> Happy 42th birthday, Milo Ventimiglia!
PSA ;;Ā Please never expect me to respond quickly to anything ever. Ā Whether or not itās a thread, itās an ask, itās a meme ā whether or not I responded quickly the time before ā whether or not Iām online ā etc, etc, etc. Ā I promise Iām not ignoring you, I promise Iām doing my best. Ā I have tons of responsibilities not related to Tumblr, && I also need to eat && sleep && sometimes Iām just not emotionally game. Ā Itās not because I donāt like you, itās not because I donāt want to do the thing, itās because Iām human. Ā Thank you!