playlist. love - wave to earth, vanilla - sunset rollercoaster, to my first - nct dream, a thought on an autumn night - jannabi, for lovers - lamp, one first kiss - kisnue, like we just met - nct dream
notes. im having serious mark fever rn 😞 (also thank you for 100 followers!!!!!!!!)
what begins as a harmless favour becomes two years of pretending to love lee donghyuck. the lie grows easier with time, but the feelings that follow were never part of the arrangement. while he continues living freely beneath the admiration of everyone around him, you come to learn that some kinds of love take root where they should not. / cw. fake dating!au, hanahaki disease / lee haechan x fem!reader
June 6, 2021
"Can I take you out on a date tonight?"
Lee Donghyuck was loved for his charm and wits. His beauty seemed to bring the world to life, and the endless hues of his personality could make even the most powerful deities fall to their knees in admiration.
He was worshipped by all, fallen to none.
In other words, Lee Donghyuck was like an angel. His affections alone were enough to make both classmates and professors alike kiss the ground he walked on. Every glance he gave was deliberate, every word polished just enough to linger in the minds of those lucky enough to hear it. Everything Lee Donghyuck did was crafted to impress, to inspire love, and most of all, to win it.
But charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain.
Lee Donghyuck never bowed down to anyone. He did not belong to anyone. His affections, though endearing and seemingly sinless, often was a carefully measured performance. A form of blandishment dressed up cleanly as sincerity. He knew exactly how to tilt his head when he laughed, how to soften his gaze when someone spoke, how to let his voice dip just low enough to make hearts flutter.
And yet, if one looked closely enough, there was always a flicker of impatience beneath his angelic appearance. A faint shadow of annoyance lingering in his honey-brown eyes whenever the world failed to bend itself neatly to his desires.
That was why, when the question is posed to you by the one and only himself, you found your entire body completely frozen in place.
While the devil perched on your left shoulder eagerly urges you to accept to the absurd request, whispering about opportunity, curiousity, and the dangerous thrill of getting involved with someone as pure as him, the angel on your right floods your thoughs with an obscene amount of questions.
Why you?
Had the king finally gone mad?
"Hello? Earth to Y/N?"
His voice snapped through your spiraling thoughts, allowing yourself to blink back into reality. Mentally shooing both the pure and sinful voices away, you are met with a pair of warm, honeyed-brown eyes staring you down, glimmering with a familiar sweetness everyone adored.
"Um—sorry," you muttered, suddenly quite aware of how dry your throat felt. "Could you repeat that?"
Donghyuck cleared his throat, straightening slightly as though preparing to project his voice across an entire lecture hall. "I would love," he started, the corners of his lips curling into that devastating smile you would grow to hate one day, "to take you out on a date tonight, Y/N."
August 27, 2021
You were starting to see Donghyuck more clearly now. The facade of a charming boy with the easy smile and irresistible warmth slowly slipping away, the cracks beneath the varnish starting to surface uncontrollably.
You started noting the way his pupils would dilate ever so slightly whenever a lie slipped past his lips. The way his head would tilt just a little to the right whenever he forced out a laugh to impress, as though attempting to silence the angel next to him.
A little less than two months ago, Donghyuck had asked you out on a date, on his birthday, no less, placing upon you a favour that now lingered like a quiet regret at the back of your mind.
That night, he had leaned close and confessed in a hushed, conspiratorial tone that his older brother was attempting to matchmake him with a woman nearly twenty years his senior. According to Donghyuck, although he would have loved to be a sugar baby someday, such a "sick" and "twisted" present for the day he turned twenty-one was just not his cup of tea.
Or at least, that was what he told you.
You still were not entirely sure why he had chosen you of all people to help him escape the madness. Out of all the wonderfully sinful and sinless souls wandering campus halls, why you? If Lee Donghyuck so much as posed the question of spending the night with him aloud to the public, you were certain there would be a myraid of women waiting eagerly outside his door, chocolates in their hands and stars in their eyes.
"Y/N, you alright?"
You turn toward him slowly, becoming aware of the warmth of his hands around you. One of them rested loosely around your waist, while the other traced gentle, absent-minded circles against the exposed skin of your thigh. You were sitting atop his lap, your body grown used to this closeness, though your mind had not fully caught up just yet.
You glanced at him, before your gaze drifted slightly past his shoulder, landing on the crowded room behind him. The air was thick with music and laughter, bodies swaying together beneath dim purple lights. The atmosphere was getting rowdier by the minute, warmer too, the kind that clung to your skin and made everything feel much heavier.
"Yeah," you murmured after a moment. "Just tipsy."
The version of yourself from two months ago would have never agreed to step foot somewhere so obscene, so sultry and alive with careless indulgence.
The excuse of tipsiness was enough to get Donghyuck to shift his attention away from you once again, allowing you to slip back into your thoughts of how you could never get used to this. The parties. The people. Him.
Yet, the favour you had put your heart into, pretending to be in love with someone who could never experience said feeling, had pulled you out of the small, safe world you once knew, and that made your chest ache with despair.
November 10, 2021
The first snow came earlier this year.
Soft flakes drifted from the pale winter sky, settling quietly upon rooftops and shoulders alike. To you, the first snow was a promise. One of a pure, everlasting sign of love that returned faithfully each year, no matter how much time had passed.
"Did you dress up so pretty just for me?"
You scoffed, brushing a few melting flakes from the sleeve of his coat. "Did it for the snow. Don't get so full of yourself now, Hyuck."
"Yet the nickname still rolls so sweetly off your tongue, honey."
The banter between you and Donghyuck had become endless over the past few months. It was an effortless rhythm the two of you seemed to fall into without thinking, with words passing between you like a well-rehearsed dance. Teasing remarks, playful jabs, and laughter spilling freely into the crisp winter air.
Followed, more often than not, by shy glances. Mostly from you.
You would never admit it aloud, not even to yourself on the loneliest of nights, but Lee Donghyuck only seemed to grow more dashing as the months slipped quietly by.
Perhaps you were finally, truly understanding the depth of his angelic charms. Or perhaps, it was the golden shade of brown now sitting in his hair, a colour you had helped him dye only weeks before. The soft strands lifted and fluttered in the harsh winter wind, prompting both of you to sniff lightly at the cold air.
Helping him dye his hair had been a first for you.
The sharp chemical scent of the box dye had nearly knocked both of your senses out as time dragged slowly forward, yet the small apartment had been filled with loud giggles and ridiculous amounts of inside jokes. Somewhere between stained gloves and uneven patches of colour, the awkward process had turned remarkably warm, almost in a cinematic way.
In fact, you had slowly come to realise that many of your first times seemed to happen with Lee Donghyuck.
Your first boyfriend (although, fake). Your first snow shared with someone else. Your first time dyeing someone's hair in a cramped bathroom sink.
Your first kiss.
"Can I kiss you?"
He had asked you that beneath the gentle fall of white flakes, his voice much softer than usual, as though the question itself were something so innocent and so pure.
You almost laughed at how easily he could dress sin in the clothing of something sacred.
And yet, you fell for it anyway.
Perhaps it was greed, the quiet, selfish desire to know what his heart-shaped lips might feel like against yours. The envy of wanting to know how he might taste after hearing the masses whisper their endless rumours of just how sweet the infamous Lee Donghyuck could be. The lust of wanting him for something more than the fake label you had both agreed upon months ago.
Or perhaps, it was simply the way he was looking at you in that moment, his eyes glimmering beneath the slow fall of snow, almost sincere.
Whatever the reason, you found yourself nodding before your better judgment could intervene, his lips meeting yours soon after.
The kiss was soft, warm, and devastatingly gentle. It was everything you dreamt of, the sweetness of his love, though feigned, spreading through your chest like melted sugar.
As he pulled away, the shine in his eyes was mirrored with yours, though yours was also accompanied with a familiar ache unfurling beneath your ribs. You had to swallow hard, choking back a cough that threatened to rise from the depths of your throat, reassuring him that everything was fine.
May 21, 2023
"Why the fuck are you being so difficult? Need I remind you we're not actually a fucking couple, Y/N?"
The familiar discomfort in your chest began to return, his words striking harder than you had expected. It was no longer the faint ache you once brushed off as winter air or anxiety, it was deeper, heavier, as though your lungs were filling with something other than the breath of life.
Your eyes burned as tears threatened to rise, blurring the shape of Donghyuck standing across the room, but you forced yourself to blink them away. The last thing you would ever allow was for Lee Donghyuck, of all people, to witness you in such a fragile state.
Donghyuck had always taken pride in his popularity. His presence was expected everywhere, especially where music thundered and laughter spilled carelessly into the night. Parties were not merely events to him; they were proof of his importance, reminders that people still worshipped his existence.
Missing even one gathering felt, to him, like allowing his carefully polished reputation to crack. And now that you had been his partner, at least in the eyes of everyone else, for nearly two years, your presence beside him had become just as expected.
Where Lee Donghyuck appeared, you were meant to follow.
You had come to understand long ago that this was the quiet root of it all. Pride. The oldest of sins, swelling silently in his chest, convincing himself that the admiration of others was something he deserved to maintain at all costs.
"Exactly, Donghyuck," you replied, your voice wavering despite your effort to sound composed. "We're not actually a real couple, so why can't you just go without me? You've had no problem doing that before."
The unwelcomed, yet vivid memory surfaced in your mind almost immediately. Only a month earlier, Donghyuck had attended a party alone, leaving without the woman he had spent nearly two years pretending to love.
At the time, he had insisted it was nothing more than a spur-of-the-moment decision, something casual and unimportant.
But you had known better.
You remembered the hours before he left, the way he had been sprawled across the couch with his phone in hand, lazily scrolling through the endless stream of stories posted by his friends. Videos of clinking glasses and flashing lights filled the screen while he scoffed quietly to himself, muttering about how he could not be bothered to leave the apartment that night. He had even joked that skipping one party would hardly damage someone with a reputation as godlike as his.
Yet, envy is a restless emotion. It begins as a quiet irritation before growing into something far more consuming. You watched it unfold in real time as Donghyuck continued scrolling, his expression tightening with each passing swipe.
The moment that truly changed everything was when his thumb paused on a clip of his old flame dancing beneath neon lights, her arms wrapped around another man as if the world outside music did not exist.
The shift in his demeanor had been immediate, the lazy indifference completely vanishing from his face, replaced by something darker and far more volatile. Envy flared into something sharper, something uglier, until it was swallowed entirely by wrath and jealousy.
Without a single explanation, he had grabbed his leather and walked straight out of the apartment.
The warmth that had filled the room seemed to disappear the moment the door shut behind him, leaving only an uncomfortable silence. Hours later, your phone lit up with a message from him, letting you know you could stay the night if you wanted, though he would not be home till the morning.
Donghyuck let out a short, humourless laugh before shaking his head in frustration. "Ha—do whatever the fuck you want, Y/N," he muttered, already reaching for his keys. "I'll just go on my own."
The door slammed shut behind him with enough force to rattle the thin walls of the apartment, and the suffocating silence that followed was enough to resent. It lingered heavily in the air for what felt like centuries, thick enough that it seemed to press against your lungs with every breath you tried to take.
A sharp cough rose unexpectedly in your throat, momentarily breaking you out of the haze, catching you off guard as the tightness in your chest worsened. Your panic began to settle in as another cough tried forcing its way out, much harsher this time, clawing painfully at your lungs.
You barely managed to reach the bathroom before the coughing became uncontrollable, your body bent forward over the sink as each breath came out uneven and strained, the pressure building until it felt absolutely unbearable.
When the coughing finally subsided, you hesitated for a moment before slowly blinking the tears away, to look down at the porcelain basin beneath you.
Resting against the pure, white surface were several delicate petals, as if stained with sin, red tinting each one of them.
October 9, 2023
"My brother's been asking 'bout you. Are we still keeping this up or not? Your choice, honey."
You nodded slowly, though your gaze had already drifted elsewhere, settling on the bouquet of flowers resting in Donghyuck's hands. It had been a while since you last saw Lee Donghyuck in person, time stretching quietly between the two of you since that night in May.
His presence still felt strangely familiar, almost comforting if not for the look in his eyes. You studied his face for a moment longer than necessary, reminded that even after all this time, you could never truly forget the devil's features.
He reached out and took your hand in his, fingers curled around yours with an ease that suggested the gesture had never stopped being natural to him. He guided you toward his car, the bouquet tucked casually in his other arm.
It was a sight you should have grown used to years ago, Donghyuck gentlemanly leading the way while you followed beside him. Yet the small contact of his hand against yours still sent an unwanted flutter across your heart, the feeling painfully misplaced when you remembered how fake all of this truly was.
"Sorry," he began after a moment. "For, um… well—lashing out at you the other night. I should've been more understanding. You were tired."
You kept your eyes ahead, voice quiet. "It's fine."
"Are you still mad?"
You turned your head away, pretending to focus on the passing scenery beyond the window. Avoiding Donghyuck's gaze had always been difficult, especially when he looked at you like that. His eyes carried a warmth that could feel almost suffocating at times, relentless in the way they lingered on you whenever he wanted forgiveness.
Your eyes drifted to the window's reflection, where the soft pout of his lips appeared faintly beside your figure. The sight alone made your stomach twist, forcing yourself to close your eyes before the feeling could deepen.
"How could I ever be?"
As you stepped out onto the familiar driveway, your gaze once again fell upon the bouquet resting in Donghyuck's hands. The flowers were beautiful. Carefully arranged, vibrant, almost excessive in their elegance.
Donghyuck stepped ahead of you and knocked lightly on the front door, presenting the bouquet infront of his features. You had wondered if those were meant as some sort of a peace offering for the argument you had shared months before, except, you knew Lee Donghyuck well enough to understand that he could not care less about preserving this pretense for your sake.
"Ah—thank you, dear," a warm voice greeted as the door swung open. "The flowers look wonderful, Hyuckie. I see you've finally brought over my favourite daughter-in-law."
Donghyuck's mother stood there with the same gentle smile she had always worn whenever you visited. Her voice carried genuine affection, something that always made you ache with a strange mixture of comfort and guilt.
"Hi, Mrs. Lee," you replied with a polite smile as you stepped inside.
Every time you entered their home, you were reminded of why Donghyuck was so prideful of his love. He had grown up surrounded by much fondness and care, nurtured in a household where laughter seemed to come so easily. There had never been cruelty within these walls, never an environment harsh enough to force a person into bitterness.
"Y/N! You're finally here. Come, I made your favourite apple pie."
Lee Taeyong's voice carried easily from the kitchen. When you turned to greet him, you were once again struck by the quiet beauty he seemed to possess so effortlessly.
Taeyong was, in many ways, a masterpiece of a person. His hair was a brilliant shade of red, and his eyes were large and expressive enough that if you stared for just a moment too long, it almost felt possible to fall endlessly into them.
He was Donghyuck's half-brother, their family history something you had come to know well over the years. After Taeyong's mother was gifted back to the angels, their father remarried Donghyuck's mother a few years later, giving both brothers the chance to bond under the same roof despite their different beginnings.
The two brothers clicked the moment they met, though both were so different that the contrast between them often felt almost, unnatural.
Donghyuck was the embodiment of temptation, someone who carried sin beneath a carefully polished surface. Everything about him was structured to perfection, from the delicate features that adorned his face to the effortless confidence he carried whenever he went. Yet beneath that flawless exterior, his sense of remorse often felt distant, clouded by a pride that had followed him for most of his life.
Taeyong, on the other hand, seemed to embody something far more complexed, yet infinitely gentler. His pale skin and sharp expressions gave him the appearance of someone who had been carved from something colder, yet if Donghyuck was temptation dressed in charm, Taeyong was sincerity in its purest form.
Such a difference between the two was striking, and yet, despite everything, Donghyuck remained the one most adored by those around him.
The dinner that followed unfolded much like the countless evenings you had already enjoyed in this house. Conversation flowed easily between Donghyuck's parents and Taeyong, laughter filling the room in familiar bursts. To anyone watching from the outside, the scene would have appeared perfectly normal.
However, beneath the surface, you could not help but notice the subtle tension lingering between the two brothers that evening. You said nothing about it, though the chilling glance Taeyong sent Donghyuck halfway through dessert was enough to make your chest sway with unease.
Taeyong quietly asked for your help with the dishes afterward, once everyone else had settled into the common room with mugs of hot chocolate that Mrs. Lee had brewed. The kitchen felt calmer then, the soft sound of running water filling the silence as you stood beside him, drying plates one by one.
"I saw Hyuck with someone else the other day."
The words were delivered carefully, as though he were trying to confirm the truth by studying your now indifferent expression.
If Taeyong noticed the quiet despair hidden beneath your eyes, he chose not to mention it. Instead, he simply brushed the moment aside, nodding when you muttered something about needing to use the bathroom.
The excruciating, violent fits of cough ripped through your chest in relentless waves that forced you to grip the sink for support. Each breath felt sharper than the last, as though something inside your lungs was struggling desperately to escape.
When you finally looked down, petals once again lay scattered across the porcelain, though now accompanied with thin roots clinging to them, tangled together like veins.
notes. hiya, been on a rlly long break but (i think) ddolbyong is finally ready to make a comeback! this is me attempting to write something longer for once, i hope its at least somewhat cohesive :')
hey, are you asleep? ahh... i'm sorry for calling so late.. i was so caught up with work that i completely forgot the time. uh.. call me when you get this in the morning, okay? night.
00:32
this SUCKS. i know it's my fault that we couldn't call tonight but i can't sleep without hearing your voice. should i uh.. should i go over to yours right now? you'd let me in right?
01:04
hi, me again. is your phone on silent or something? i've been spamming your phone and you're still asleep. i um.. i just.. i miss you so much. i haven't seen you in so long i might pass out. i miss your voice, your smile, your eyes, your face -- maybe, maybe even your jokes too.. just a little though. ugh.. i just miss you yn.
03:02
hey, um i'm finally gonna head to sleep. i think. um.. yeah just thought i'd drop you one last voicemail in case you wake up. uh... so.. goodnight! i love you so so so much. i don't think i've ever loved someone as much as i love you.. i can't wait to see you again soon, you're all i can think about haha. uh also um sorry again.. about tonight. i promise i'll call you on time now.. i hate not being able to hear your sweet voice.
03:58
goodnight angel. i love you.
notes: based on this request! i love eunseok i love eunseok i love eunseok i fear IM the one down bad for him. feedback, likes, reblogs n replies are appreciated! i hope you enjoy
hiii ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎ hru? tell us ur top 3 fics!! (number 14 i think)
hello darling! i'm doing alright, tysm for asking! i hope you're doing well 🥹🧡
14. What are your top 3 favorite fanfics?
oh my gosh i love this question, i gotta promote my favs..! this was actually really hard because i have so many favorites... warning these r mostly smuts oh my god i apologize for being a freak
these are in no particular order btw!
1. voicemails by @ddolbyong - I LOVE THIS SO MUCH.. i'm an eunseok girl until the day i die and this one is just so heartwarming, i love simple things like this <3 i'm insane for eunseok we actually got married last month if y'all didn't know!
00:11
hey yn, its eunseok. call me when you get this!
00:15
hey, are you asleep? ahh... i'm sorry for calling so late.. i was so caught u
2. gentleness with eunseok by @hyuckfull - oh i'm fucking insane for eunseok. i love vanilla smuts, they're so endearing :( i also lwk have a praise kink oh my god i'm sorry
gentleness with eunseok. . . song eunseok x fem!reader / m-dni / implied multiple orgasms / very intimate / did not proofread this but anywa
3. 01z frat boys by @ddodol - i lied i don't like vanilla i want to be ruined just like this. when i read this i swear to you i was a different person. i'm the biggest whore for 01z i wish i was joking..! ddodol is my go-to cus i'm a freak and they match my energy!
i'm having some thoughts rn, walk with me here—
01z as bored frat bros who has their eyes set on nerdy!reader. they'd go about their frat b
playlist. miss the time - 92914, stop waiting - cigarettes after sex, greed - jiwoo, sweetbitter - rio, ghost - megumi acorda
02:23
hey... uh, its jeno. ...i don’t even know if i should be calling. i just.. i don’t know, i guess i... i couldn’t stop thinking about you. you’re probably asleep, or... maybe you don’t even want to hear from me, and that’s...that’s fair. but, um... i.. everything just feels off without you. it’s hard to explain, but... i feel like i’m still living in this.. this moment, where things were okay. i don’t know if you feel that way too, or if you’ve just... completely moved on.
03:07
okay, um... i know i shouldn’t call again, but... i just.. i keep thinking about the past. i keep thinking about... us. the times when we used to stay up late, just talking about everything and nothing at the same time. haha, we were in our own little world, you know? and.. i don’t know, i guess i thought... if i just held on to these memories, things would somehow stay... okay. but, uh... i know. i know that’s just not how things work. you um.. you fell out of love, and i.. i don't blame you. you probably felt like you couldn’t keep doing this forever, and i was too busy... too distant. too focused on my own shit to see that you were falling out of it, falling away from me. ...you deserved someone better, yn. someone who actually knows how to love you. i just.. i don’t know why i keep thinking maybe that could still be me. i’m sorry. i’m rambling. i'll stop now.
03:57
...sorry. it's me again. i don’t even know what i'm doing right now. but i keep thinking about you, and it... it feels like i’m stuck in time? like.. like i'm holding on to something that’s already gone. i.. i uh know i don’t have any right to ask, but... um.. do you.. do you ever still think about us? or.. am i just the only one still holding onto this?
04:32
this is the last time i'm calling, i promise. i just.. i can't sleep. and i miss you so much. i keep asking myself if there's any way to fix us, but... i don't think there's a way.. right..? i'm sorry. it's my fault. my fault that i didn't notice how far we were drifting until... until it was too late. i'm sorry, i.. i should've done better. i should've loved you better. you um.. you deserve someone who can give you everything, yn. someone who can love you like you deserve. i uh.. i hope you've found that, or that you will. soon. um.. i’ll stop calling now. i hope... i hope you’re doing okay. i really do. i'm sorry. take care.
hai!! ok sorry if this is a weird question, but i saw that you said you use memi messages for your fake texts however yours texts look a lot different than when i use memi. so i was curious if you have any specific settings turned on or something!! for example, your font is bigger and the text bubbles are different.
i really like how yours looks, thats why i'm asking! thank you!!
hiya dont worry about it!!! :-) these r my settings/theme if it helps
playlist. love - wave to earth, vanilla - sunset rollercoaster, to my first - nct dream, a thought on an autumn night - jannabi, for lovers - lamp, one first kiss - kisnue, like we just met - nct dream
notes. im having serious mark fever rn 😞 (also thank you for 100 followers!!!!!!!!)
hiii im the one who asked for the eunseok's voicemail and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! the way you write it exceed my expectations by miles 💛💛 and i'm your first request? i feel so honered 🙇🏻🙇🏻
hi! idk if you write for riize, but since you said that the haechan's voicemail fic was supposed to be for anton, i'm just going to take my shot, can i request eunseok's fluffy voicemail please?
cause i feel like he's the type of bf that would leave you voicemail to show you how down bad he is for you
hi! thank you for being my first request 🥹 you can find eunseok's voicemail here! i hope you like it :-)
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