starklings modern au. the eras tour is coming to westeros. sansa stark needs to see taylor swift perform "love story" in person or she'll die (that's what she tells ned). the money is no issue the starks can obviously afford the vip tickets for sansa. and jeyne. ("i CAN'T see taylor swift without jeyne, dad! i can't sing along to the songs alone, that's embarrassing!" "won't there be hundreds of people there?" "but jeyne is different! she's my best friend in the whole world, dad! we already made matching bracelets with the lyrics, see?"). the real issue is who is going to chaperon. robb is the obvious answer (eldest sibling curse), but he has the college entrance exams in like a month and he's kind of losing his mind, so we have to count him out. the next option is jon who is not taking the college entrance exams this year because he thought taking a sabbatical working at the former-penal-colony-now-reformed-museum that the stark family owns at the edge of the world was a good idea. jon is an emo teenager that hates taylor swift but he agrees to chaperon if his friend sam from the former-penal-colony-now-reformed-museum who actually likes taylor swift can come. so. four tickets. perfectly affordable for the starks. ned is happy. catelyn is not. she doesn't think jon is responsible enough. she needs another trusted young adult. that's when theon walks through the door. he doesn't live there but he's always in their house for some reason. coming out of nowhere with the smile of an asshole to ruin ned's morning coffee by saying: "you can't trust snow to watch the girls if his gay ass boyfriend is there to distract him." "sam is NOT gay, asshole" says jon with loyalty. nobody believes him. "all men who like taylor swift are gay" theon pronounces gay like a slur because catelyn is present and he can't say a slur for real. "but don't worry, mrs stark, i can watch the kids" he winks and catelyn considers blowing up the whole house. "you only want to go because you like taylor swift too" says arya from under the table where she's carving the wood with a kitchen knife. she knows sansa forced theon to listen to the reputation album till he admitted he liked it. "i do not!" says theon, who does likes taylor swift but also tries to go through life with the attitude of an homophobic red pilled alpha male who is NOT gay. "sam is not my boyfriend! we are not gay!" says jon again, suddenly and unnecessarily. nobody believes him. in the end, catelyn turns to the only young adult she can fully trust. and that's how sansa, jeyne, jon, sam, theon and brienne end up going to the eras tour.
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