Perchance to Dream

[themoonandmyman]

latest art piece. :) please reblog

[galecstatic]

i wish i knew how to fucking burn this image in the eyelids

[hollanovices]

shane: i'm gay (i tried so hard, mom, i tried so hard to not be this way, i tried to like rose in the way i should but i can't and i'm not the golden boy everyone wants me to be)

ilya: hm. what makes you think that? (my brother in christ we have been having gay sex for close to a decade now. wtf are u on about)

shane: fuck you! you aren't gay! (you have the choice. you can be with a woman and it won't be a lie to yourself. you wouldn't be in agony every second of your life. you can live the way the world wants you to and it won't be a lie)

ilya: no, not completely (yeah, i'm attracted to men and women both, but what does it fucking matter? whether i am completely gay or not, the fact that i like men is enough to alienate me from the place that birthed me)

shane: well i think i am! completely. (i'm not perfect anymore. i've realised that i cannot be with a woman. i lie in bed with a woman and it feels like a punishment. i have to think of you to feel even the slightest pleasure despite having a girlfriend men would kill for.)

ilya: why are you telling me this? (why does your being gay or not gay matter? a label means nothing when it doesn't change the secrecy, the wrongness, the inevitability of this, of us both.)

shane: who else am i going to tell? (this is an important moment for me. i have to come out to someone. you're the only safe option. you already know this, you have the same secret. let me have this moment with someone who isn't literally the one telling me i'm gay.)

[loontattoo]

thinking about seeing this more sexually confident Shane in season two and feeling very not chill about it

[nyxlyx]

(gif by @sobadbad )

i’m seeing lots of folks talk about this moment as ilya being jealous, and friends, this is not jealousy

this is self-loathing. this is self-contempt. he is staring into a mirror. (side note, this reddit post about mirrors symbolizing internalized homophobia in hr is well-worth a read)

he is not angry at shane. he’s furious at himself. he’s disgusted with himself. altho i don’t think it’s just internalized homophobia in this case. it’s more about his shame in general, because he actually let himself think that maybe someone would love him back. that he would be worth staying for, when no one has ever stuck around for him before

and he let himself believe for one tiny little moment that shane hollander, MLH golden boy, would risk (really risk, not just this dalliance a few times a year) his career and reputation and heart for him. what a fool. he should know better, because when has anyone ever loved him like that? never, except his mother, and she’s still gone, isn’t she? so what did he think he was doing, letting himself get pulled in so deep that he actually thought he might get loved back

let’s also take a moment to appreciate connor storrie’s brilliant performance in this moment. he doesn’t even look like the same person, he’s so deeply entrenched in ilya’s self-disgust

[graceebooks]

AND LETS ALL ALSO REMEMBER THAT SHANE LOVES ILYAS WEAKEST AND TRUEST SELF DEEPLY AND ARDENTLY

[witchy-worm]

This was made for @flawlessassholes for her donation to @iceouthr event! The prompt was something NSFW or something for her fic Alligator Bites Never Heal so I sort of went for both here 😅

If you're into angst, hurt/comfort, and smut, you should absolutely go read the fic! It's a delight!

[schreienfeuer]

my moon, my man

[lorastyrels]

Skies & Sunshine

[rukki-lill]

i really needed Shane in Ilya’s Ottawa jersey. exactly in this position

inspired by this awesome fic by theprinceandagcd on ao3!!!!

[snoopyetc]

never change hudson 🫶🫶

[namunii]

When you're trying to forget your years old situationship but his manager is Yuna Hollander so you see his face everywhere...

[tevanbuckley]

⟣ hollanov + playfulness

[leclercari]

You feel it too, don't you?

[samwlsn]

[holllanov]

ilya calming shane

[ilyrozanov]

so take me back to the country, to the hills and to the spires, i'll trade the afterparties for my baby by the fire. we'll go back to my parents, i'll be barefaced in the light.

[geonbaeeeesblog]

they are ruining my life rn in the best way possible 🫠🫠🫠🫠