Xuebing Du
#extradirty
todays bird
will byers stan first human second
Today's Document
izzy's playlists!
art blog(derogatory)
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Discoholic 🪩
Janaina Medeiros
taylor price
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
if i look back, i am lost
Andulka
hello vonnie
Misplaced Lens Cap
we're not kids anymore.
Mike Driver
d e v o n
NASA
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seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
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seen from United Kingdom
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@nyxlyx
if yall want more original Black films being made, unfortunately you do have to go see them in theaters and not wait for them to get on streaming. that’s only way these nonblack movie execs will find Black art to be worthwhile funding and distributing.
here's another idea for a poll! I think this will have some interesting results. this sentence is here to pad out this paragraph so people who don't read posts will be more likely to accidentally miss these instructions. if you're reading this, please select option eleven. here's another sentence to make this block of text look longer. anyway here's my fun poll idea!
try to create a normal (bell curve) distribution
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follow up question
did you read the block of text at the start of this post? please be honest.
yes, I read that before voting
yes, I read it after voting in the poll but before seeing this second poll
yes, but only because THIS poll pointed me to it
no, I still have not read it
[show results]
why is it so hard for people to grasp that disabilities disable and chronic illnesses are chronic. yes even when it inconveniences you. yes even when your patience runs out
in absolute tears about the pride module at my work
HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...
Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).
happy first day of pride everyone
people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now
The older this post gets the funnier it becomes
My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.
that’s how fucked up our world is now
people born in 2000 are getting kicked off their parents’ health insurance as we speak
i know i say this often but i cannot say it loud enough: people who comment on fics, people who reblog posts and engage with fanworks are the people who generate community and without them fandom would be nowhere, so truly thank you for your presence, you make the world go 'round <3
people hate it when i say "black people getting cancer is racist" but im literally fucking right because systemic racism has led to chemical dumping being acceptable in black/brown neighborhoods and black people have higher rates of cancer as a result
For years there was literally a giant pile of used car tires just casually sitting in one of Dallas' Black neighborhoods and the city kept refusing to come get them for so long that people started developing respiratory issues just from having to live near it. Those people will almost definitely go the rest of their lives w/ a heightened risk of developing specific cancers.
I met more <50y/o Black women who actively had, survived, or regained cancer, within a year of living in one of the poorest neighborhoods of DC, than I did the rest of my time in living in/around DC.
it is genuinely bewildering to me that adult human beings do not know this but if you are mean to people they will not like you. like tbh they are probably also not going to like you if you are mean to other people but they are definitely not going to like you if you are mean to them. it doesn’t matter if you are funny or if you can use r/aita rules to prove that you are in the right. people simply do not enjoy being treated like shit.
Get loved idiot. 🫧
I just imagine that once they're on the same team Hollanov aren't really interested in like romantic PDA, but they are VERY interested in being physical with each other in the way athletes are. The first time Shane knocks helmets with him on the way into the tunnel, Ilya freezes, smiling with so much delight that Bood has to be like "Tighten up Cap! You see him all the time!" The first time Ilya snaps a towel at Shane has him laughing like Ilya is a physical comedy genius. The first time Shane chirps Ilya for missing a pass on the power play and Ilya puts him in a headlock to mess up his hair and then they start roughhousing like kids they both get so hard in their pants they better thank god for jock straps and cups. Like, this is their language. Camaraderie, fraternity, chirps, roasting, wrestling—now they get to have it together, for once.
On-ice things too!
fist bumps at the boards when one of them scores
Ilya getting to yell at the ref on Shane's behalf when he takes a cheap hit
Shane giving the hardest check of his career to the d-man that gave Ilya a minor concussion in the last game against them. The guy practically backflips but he's fine and the gif of Shane's snarling face goes viral
When Ilya loses a blade on the power play one time Shane's the closet one who can tow him to the bench (this goes VERY viral)
SICK PRETTY SHOTS on said power play, showing the world how fucking stupid everyone was to allow them to get on the same team
Real Hockey Fans who know real details should add more!
Okokok if I may :)
Locker Room / Bench
Guys tape everything—wrists, fingers, knees, ankles—and Ilya having strong opinions about how Shane tapes his wrists wrong and physically taking his hand and redoing it. It takes forever. You have to hold the wrist, keep tension on the tape. Shane spending the entire time staring at his face like he's having a religious experience.
The thing where your teammate finishes taping your stick because you're still messing with your skates. Deeply domestic. Completely normal hockey behavior. Ilya doing it for Shane without asking because he knows exactly how Shane likes his blade wrapped from years of studying him as an opponent. Shane does not Trust anyone else to even touch his stick
Ilya starts stealing Shane's sticks during morning skate and refusing to give them back until Shane physically wrestles them out of his hands.
Sharing a water bottle on the bench. Deeply unsanitary. Completely normal. Something you only really do with guys you're comfortable around. Ilya grabbing Shane's by mistake the first week and Shane not even mentioning it.
The thing where after a bad loss nobody talks. The room is silent except for tape ripping and gear getting packed away. Ilya sitting down next to Shane, shoulders touching, and saying absolutely nothing. Somehow that's the most anyone has said all night.
Sharing an iPad on the bench, shoulder-to-shoulder, drawing routes on the screen with gloved fingers. One of them grabbing the other's arm to point something out and not letting go because they're both still watching the clip.
The full-body lean that happens after a brutal shift. Just putting your entire weight onto the guy next to you because you're too tired to hold yourself up. Ilya doing it once without thinking and Shane automatically widening his stance to take the weight.
Ilya grabbing Shane's elbow during a TV timeout and physically moving him six inches to the left so he can see the whiteboard. Shane just lets himself be repositioned.
Guys smacking each other on the ass after a good play is so normalized in hockey it's practically invisible. The first time Ilya does it to Shane they both feel like they're getting away with something.
The way players grab the backs of each other's necks to get their attention. The way they grab cages to be heard over crowd noise. Ilya catching Shane by the visor and pulling him closer until they're practically nose-to-nose to say something, and Shane immediately going still.
Getting your jersey number called for a penalty and having to go to the box and your linemate skating you over, just a hand between the shoulder blades guiding you to the box door, and Shane doing this for Ilya once and Ilya looking back at him through the glass from the penalty box and Shane just tapping his own chest twice like I've got it, go sit down (I realize they're both centers but maybe occasionally Ilya plays wing, like mentioned about All-Stars in that bed convo w Sveta)
The two of them coming back to the bench after a shift and immediately starting to explain what they saw at the exact same time. "The weak-side D keeps cheating—" "I know, if we swing lower—" Neither of them stops talking. Somehow they're still having the same conversation.
Every winger they've ever played with eventually develops the same thousand-yard stare while Shane and Ilya spend an entire TV timeout discussing a faceoff they already won three minutes ago.
On The Ice
The thing about Shane being able to look completely bored while doing something physically absurd. Ilya being one of the only people who's ever been able to tell the difference between Shane coasting and Shane being fully locked in because he's spent years reading him from the other bench.
Now he reads him from the same bench. At some point Ilya realizes he can tell whether Shane is nervous by whether his right leg is bouncing. Shane is Hockey Jesus and therefore never nervous about himself, obviously. But teammates doing stupid shit? Suddenly the leg is going.
Shane automatically skates over to grab the extra guy after every scrum because nobody gets to cross-check Ilya except him.
The first month they accidentally keep ending up in the same support lane in the neutral zone. Both of them trying to do the responsible center thing on the breakout, swinging to provide an outlet, reading the same play developing and arriving in the same spot. One goes low to support the defenseman. The other is already there. It takes a month of bumping into each other before they stop thinking the exact same thought at the exact same time.
pThe breakout where Ilya is supposed to be the outlet but gets tied up on the wall. He manages to free one arm and taps his stick twice on the ice. Don't go middle. Go wide. Shane reads it instantly.
At some point they've developed an entire private language of stick taps that nobody else understands.
When the power play isn't working, they have entire conversations between whistles that are maybe thirty percent words and seventy percent stick taps, glove grabs, shoulder shoves, and pointing at patches of ice.
The Ovi-Backstrom thing, neither of them is permanently Ovi and neither of them is permanently Backstrom. Some shifts Shane is the shooter. Some shifts Ilya is. Some shifts they're both trying to set the other guy up. Figuring out who's who isn't really a system so much as a running conversation.
Shane pinching at the blue line, which coaches have spent his entire life trying to discourage. Ilya rotating back to cover before Shane has fully committed to the pinch. Making the decision for him before he's made it himself.
The first time they line up together for a defensive-zone draw and Ilya casually puts a hand on Shane's back and shifts him six inches to the right. It's not even a weird thing. Players reposition each other all the time. Shane still short-circuits because nobody has ever moved him before. He's always been the one directing traffic.
Shane taking a defensive-zone draw because it's on his strong side. Ilya automatically drifting to the wing. No discussion, no ego, just both of them recognizing what gives them the best chance to win possession.
Which is maybe the strangest thing about them. They've both spent their entire lives being THE centerman. The guy the play runs through. The guy who takes the draw. The guy who decides. And now they keep finding themselves yielding little pieces of territory to each other without even thinking about it.
They both tap their sticks on the ice in the exact same rhythm before a faceoff. Someone points it out. They deny it with suspicious speed. (They are the Exact Same People It's Creepy).
Both of them mutter constantly during games. To themselves. To the puck. To nobody. For years they did it from opposite benches. Now they're muttering at each other halfway through shifts, sometimes English, sometimes Russian, and their wingers genuinely cannot tell whether they're communicating or just happening simultaneously.
The line change where Shane is jumping over the boards and Ilya is coming off and for one second they have to occupy the exact same piece of ice. A hand on an elbow. A shove at the hip, crawling over each other. Alternatively, one of them trying to get on the bench where the other is already sitting, and like missing a little, so now Shane's dragging Ilya over the railing by the back of his jersey like a feral alley cat
Shane bodychecking Ilya into the boards during practice and then immediately grabbing his jersey to make sure he's still upright.
Ilya scores goals that look psychic because he knows where Shane is going before Shane does. The back-door tap-in where Shane hasn't even looked at him yet and Ilya is already there, stick on the ice, because he read Shane's shoulder angle and knew the pass was coming. Shane doesn't even have to find him. Ilya is just always in the right place because he's been studying Shane longer than Shane has been studying himself.
Goals / Celebrations
The goal celebration where Shane grabs Ilya's face in both hands and shakes it around viciously.
The chest bump that turns into Ilya holding him there for half a second longer than necessary because they're both laughing too hard.
When one of them gets named first star, the other immediately interrupts the interview by spraying him with a water bottle
Shane grabbing the back of Ilya's helmet and shaking it the way you'd ruffle someone's hair if the helmet wasn't there.
After wins Ilya getting Shane in a headlock and dragging him halfway across the ice.
Video / Meetings
The video session where the coaches are breaking down Ilya's one-timer and Shane keeps quietly finishing the explanation because he's spent years trying to defend against it. Ilya turning around to stare at him. Everyone else in the room already grinning, Shane having absolutely no idea what is funny.
Shane flicking the back of Ilya's helmet every time he says something stupid during film review.
Both of them are notorious video guys, which means they keep accidentally finding themselves alone in the video room after practice. At some point they stop pretending it's an accident.
The power-play meeting where the coach draws something up on the whiteboard and Shane reaches over, moves the bumper route two feet, and looks at Ilya. Ilya nods. The coach just sighs and updates the diagram because unfortunately they're right.
@parcai just so you know I'm levitating like three inches off the floor in lotus position meditating on this post while butterflies manifest in my house from the sheer good vibes of it all
I think the important life lesson that the pwhl teaches is never love anything
Treating people with basic kindness and decency means you don't have to prove you're deserving of assumptions of good faith engagement or compassion before you get to have those things.
You deserve those things as a matter of course. You don't owe anyone shit before you deserve those things. You certainly don't owe anyone personal information or your whole life story in order to 'deserve' basic kindness from others.
It's bad faith engagement you have to prove first with your own choices, not good faith engagement. You deserve the assumption that you're acting in good faith unless and until you with your own choices prove that you don't.
The trust of close friendship or love may be earned, but the trust that you're a decent human being acting in reasonable good faith towards other people is something that we all owe each other from the start.
happy pride month
love the trope where an authoritative side character pointedly pretends not to help the hero they’re not supposed to be helping by saying shit like “well I can’t just let you wander around up to the THIRD FLOOR where you could just FIND THE THING YOU NEED in the FIRST ROOM ON THE LEFT. And under no circumstances should you USE THE KEY FROM UNDER THE MAT. I wish I could help you, but I CAN’T. Now excuse me, I need to take this phone call for the next 37 minutes EXACTLY.”
My doctor did that for me once. I had to get an expensive brain scan and she was like ‘do you smoke?’ and I was like ‘no’ and she was like “well that’s a pity because the government will pay for this expensive brain scan if you had been a smoker so - do you smoke?” 🤣🤣🤣 I was like ‘yes’ and she’s like ‘oh wow then this scan will be free’
have some shitty chaotic pride flags ^^
check out the rest of the flags on my profile since tumblr has a 10 image limit lol as well as the fixed versions of a few of these cuz I’m big dumb
it's that time again, kids
Happy pride month specifically to folks on the asexual and aromantic spectrum who oftentimes feel isolated and left out of the conversation. You belong here as much as the rest of us and I hope that you are all loved in a way that is comforting to you.
is jake gyllenhaal gay??
why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this
happy pride month to this post specifically
