Dear Sad Diary

19. Female. Failure love life.

[dearsaddiaryhelpme-blog]

I want to be the one in your dreams

Me

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7/4/2016

Dear Sad Diary,

I’m having the worst craving for sex right now. Like to the point where if I don’t get laid soon I’ll go mad. But the problem is I can’t just sleep with just anyone. So I have a guy in mind but now I just need to figure out if he’s interested. He should be cause I’m a good lookin babe. Anyways I need sex. Orgasming alone is no longer cutting it. I need that vitamin D. Meanwhile I need to stop sucking ass in my summer classes.

[vanish]

[extramadness]

More quotes about life here

[zodiacmind]

The Signs Studying

Aries: Reads everything so fast…

Taurus: Studies carefully and slowly.

Gemini: Studies while listening to music, talking, singing or surfing the internet.

Cancer: Only likes to study with friends or family around. 

Leo: If they’re interested in having a good grade, they’ll have a good grade.

Virgo: Writes down everything they need to know and studies it. 

Libra: Studies only the day before the exam.

Scorpio: Does this silently so nobody actually knows what they’re doing.

Sagittarius: Finds it boring. Reads a page then goes out for a walk.

Capricorn: Studies harder than all of the others, gets a great grade.

Aquarius: Writes down what they think it’s important. Most of the time, it wasn’t important.

Pisces: Wants to study but starts wondering about life and gets lost.

Souce: Unknown

[dearsaddiaryhelpme-blog]

Accurate af

[dearsaddiaryhelpme-blog]

3:45

Dear Sad Diary,

The hormones are running wild. With the mixed emotions of anger, loneliness, and confusion. I wish I had answers to some of life’s jumbled questions. I wish I felt a higher meaning and purpose to this life I have been given. I’ve always been independent and for the most part alone and detached. Yes I’m aware I’m only 19 and I don’t know two shits about what I’m talking about because I haven’t truly lived yet. But granted my few years of experience I’ve grown to the idea that I think I know who I am but deep down I have no clue. In a way I’m so easily influenced by others, especially my brothers, that I don’t really know what I enjoy or what I do because that’s what was done by those around me. And knowing that I’m truly not independent kinda breaks my heart. I don’t know what I want from life. Ideally I think I’d love to travel the world. But who doesn’t? I need to work on finding myself this summer. The true me. Not some fake bitch who tries to please everyone around her. I want to be better. Not selfish. But better. Although part of me knows I’ll always put other’s needs before my own but that’s okay. I know I rather focus on fixing their lives rather than my own. But I need to find a balance and come to peace with myself. Than maybe I’ll truly be happy and if I’m lucky I’ll find love along the way. But until then, sweet dreams.

[extramadness]

More quotes about life here

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5/25/16

Dear Sad Diary,

I can’t tell whether or not I hate my brother’s girlfriend. I mean I’m assuming it’s my natural protective instincts kicking in but I’m still not sure that’s the only reason. Like in person she’s okay and nice for the most part. I definitely love her kid who’s adorable and I’d love to be his aunt but I’m not so sure I’d want her as a sister in law. My huge pet peeve with her is she’s a big social media poster. Like I mean she posts ALL of the time and not just on Facebook but on Instagram. And honestly some of the stuff she should not be posting. Especially since my brother is in the Air Force. Like nobody needs to know the small stupid details of your life. Granted I’m ranting about her on social media. But hey not like anyone reads my blog or gives a damn or knows who I am. But still something about her puts me on edge and I know she talks negatively to my brother about me. Which kinda pisses me off. Like if I jokingly ask my brother why there is blonde hair on his shirt (nobody in my family is blonde) she gets way too uptight about it. Like girl calm down, my parents joke around to each other like this. It’s the nature of my family, no need to be so stingy about it and then make it a big deal when your on the phone with my brother. Like he bought you a house to live with him and he wants to adopt your kid. So get that stick out of your ass and lighten up. Ugh, maybe I’m overreacting but I just want the best for my brother. I hope for the best and hopefully I keep my temper. No promises though, I can’t control the other guy.

[hplyrikz]

Clear your mind here

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[extramadness]

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[dearsaddiaryhelpme-blog]

Story of my fucking life.

[dearsaddiaryhelpme-blog]

5/13/16

Dear Sad Diary,

Why are guys attention seeking assholes? Like I have done nothing to you yet you feel the need to share private negative thoughts just to look ‘cool’. Guess I should explain a bit. SO basically I went on this choir trip to Boston, I had a crush on the one guy, ended up having sex with him, then heard him talking about my performance to our other friends and have to listen to them laugh. Which was a huge low blow. My ego was crushed to the point where if I accidentally got hit by a car I wouldn’t really care. But basically he said I was aggressive and way to into it. Like what the fuck. Sorry for trying in bed. Sorry for not being a lifeless lump. Sorry for being sexually attracted to you. Like I never heard those words used in such a negative context before. Then he went on to say that at one point I sucked on his testicle too hard. WELL THEN FUCKING TELL ME THAT IN THE MOMENT, not after the fact to other people. And boy, if you didn’t like it then why did you say to keep going. So now I’m left here feeling like shit while I probably haven’t even crossed his mind. Worst part was he found out that I had heard what he said and he didn’t even bother to apologize. I hate boys. 

[dearsaddiaryhelpme-blog]

4/29/2016

Dear Sad Diary

I apologize for my absence but alas I feel no inspiration to write to you. I’ll be more active this summer I promise. I need to go study for finals now. 

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2/22/16

Dear Sad Diary,

I am currently sitting in a dark lounge listening to Wicked with the company of my new trustworthy friend, Emily. I’m half tired but I just don’t wanna go back to my room, mainly because it’s in a different dorm across the street. I’m actually quite tempted to pass out in this lounge, but I can’t. Now i’m listening to Mamma Mia. I feel like this post has zero purpose besides to fill the empty spaces in my heart, mind, and soul. I shall bore you no more.

[hplyrikz]

[hplyrikz]

I can relate to this