I also found some of these types of pictures that spoke mad volumes to me. This piece of art says so much about how I’m feeling. All the times I subjected myself to the thought of “love” and “relationships” it only winded up in hearts that needed mending. And the more I take the time to focus on mending one, another one needs to be fixed. I learned what my problem was. I always rushed into a relationship. Always trying to hard. I focused to much on trying to fulfill what the most high created women for in the first place when he pulled us from the rib of Adam. But I’m now thinking that’s not the mission the most high has for me in the end of it all. I don’t know what my purpose is anymore. Only thing I know to do now is focus on my life my son and myself. Spoil myself for once. Pour all that love I tried to give to unworthy pathetic confused diabolical males….. I need to instead pour it into myself. And that’s what I’ve been doing for a little while now. Got my hair done last weekend. Getting the things I want without “buyers remorse” for once. I do feel like I need to give one more cry (for frustration purposes. For being annoyed at myself for being the way I was. That empathetic pushover who had no boundaries…..or at least little ones…..that love hungry fool who gave to many chances to the unworthy imbeciles) I just need one last cry and then continue on with my transformation. I’ve been also been pulled to “Alice in wonderland” art work on Pinterest I’ve found….. and “Harley Quinn” lately Harley has ALWAYS SPOKEN MAD VOLUMES TO ME!!! Due to the length she went to just to be wanted and seen by the Joker. So she in a way describes me and it makes me cry and I mean cry hard because it’s just so damn sad. And Frankenstein’s monster. I’ve been feeling this deep desire to get more ink work done on myself to express the transformation I’m going through. When I was in my 20’s I went and got a self portrait of myself in cyber goth gear on my left thigh. So that it marks a reminder to NEVER again lose myself when in a toxic relationship with someone who wants me to change who I am and what I’m interested in to appease them, it works but I need a bit more.
