VintageBacon♡

Professionally In love with fictional characters

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Price is the type of man to wreck your world, leave you spent and after drawing you two a bath and putting you in bed, he will pull a toolbox out and fix that damn faucet that has been dripping since the moment he arrived.

Don't get me wrong. He loved fucking you. But that sink - it was driving him insane. Like gnawing at the back of his brain. An itch he couldn't scratch for four hours. His focus was divided between you and the goddamn sink. (Imagine him going doggy and he is drifting off in space, because he swears he hears the faucet from three rooms away slowly drippingly mocking him...)

Honestly, an enemy can lock him up in a room with broken appliances and no way of fixing them and it will be enough torture for this old man.

Price loves fixing things. He will fix your whole house while you sleep. Don't be surprised, if you wake up to half the wall missing and 4 military men with power tools working on it.

This is the Captain's way of nesting and taking care of his bird. (Yeah, you are his bird. Its only've been a couple of dates, but he knows...)

He almost beat up your landlord when he refused to pay for fixes. He ended up buying the building and moving his team there.

So they can be close to you.

So he can be close to you.

What a man.

[decaffeinatedcandycane]

I have a horny headcanon:

What if Simon Riley says, "Fucking 'ell" the moment he sees Mactavish, who is so so friendly to him, becauseee *big reveal* he met the Scottsman at a bar earlier and fucked his brains out.

Just imagine a tipsy - rosy cheeked Mactavish approaching the lieutenant and hitting him with the cheesiest pick up lines. They are horrible and a bit slurry, but they make Riley drag him by the collar to the bathroom and stuff his cock down his throat.

Soap sucks and moans like a greedy little slut, mouth to tight to take all of Simon, of course. The lieutenant doesn't know if he will be able to fuck him proper, cause the boy is already milking him dry.

You best believe the bathroom will be occupied till the sergent legs give up.

It is a fucking sight.

And several days later - Simon Riley has to fight side by side with the man who he ruined. Which man will become a part of his team.

What a small world.

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You ask them to set you up with one of their buddies ~

Price - Dumbfounded. Flabbergasted. Taken aback. Did you kiss the brick before throwing it at him? Just take Makarov and hurl him at his direction, why won't you?

His adorable employee wants a boyfriend and is too shy to ask men out. Oh, he has to fix that, doesn't he.

He has to find you a man, hm?

You will go to your little date, doll. He will personally drive you there, get you seated in the overly expensive restaurant and enjoy the shock on your face when he takes the seat opposite of you.

At the end of the date, he will offer to drive you to your home and when you question why he is driving to his estate he will deeply chuckle, "I said your home luv, not your house."

Ghost - The lieutenant is an excellent matchmaker, so it's not an odd request.

What is odd is, why are YOU asking him to set you up?

You can't find normal guys.

And you think you will find them amongst his team? Well, you will. And Ghost knows that. But he is too attracted to you to give you away to one of his buddies.

"What about me luv?" he randomly spits out while you are in his office, breaking the comfortable silence. Seeing the look of confusion on your face he adds, "Wanna try me? On a date."

You agree and drag him to your room for dinner. Ghost doesn't hesitate.

Yes, it's 10 am.

Yes, he is not hungry and you have no way of cooking food in your room.

Yes his team watch as a 5' something woman is dragging him across the halls.

Yes, this doesn't sound like a proper date.

But, his pants get tighter and tighter with every step he takes and he will be a damned if he denies your offer.

Soap -

Ha ha ha, good one. You have a Scottish military baddie at your desposal and when you finally date, you want him to introduce you to another man that isn't him?

Not a chance.

Soap has been planning to date you since he saw you. That's also the moment he started planning your house. Yeah, he got it bad...

Soap isn't subtle. He smiles like the Cheshire cat and relentlessly hits on you, even after you agree to go out with him. He will show off and get handsy, until you finally have enough and shove him in the nearest closet, where he promises big game, only to turn into a whimpering mess once you suck on his neck.

Kyle - He lies like the brat he is that there are no matches for you in his field. You see right through his bs, you always do, and take matters into your own hands.

But when you ask one of his buddies out yourself, you notice how Kyle mood shifts. He gets snappier, more bitchy and overall childish. When you finally confront him, he pushes you against the nearest wall, let's his hands roam around your body and doesn't break the kiss until you gently push him away.

"Break up with him." Kyle purrs into your neck.

"Yes, sergent." you whimper.

"Good girl."

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Random facts about the task force ~

Soap is a simp for women in armor. Turns into the goodest boy whenever he sees a cosplayer and will turn into a damsel in distress in order to get a pretty bird's number.

Kyle wears all Disney accessories and is full on candid picture boy. His Instagram is one of a professional model. People actually believed he had a twin brother for awhile.

Price can fight with a sword and has a medieval shield preserved from generations. He gives the lads lessons, when they visit him at his family estate. (Yes, it is a huge mansion with a forest)

Ghost did not finish primary, middle or high school. He forged his own papers and often jokes how he has always been his own teacher. Only Price knows the real meaning behind his words.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

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His "whimsy":

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Credit: Adam Ellis

‪@ adamtots.bsky.social

*NSFW warning

Simon Riley coded ❤

[timetravellingshinigami]

[decaffeinatedcandycane]

Accurate...

[segamascott]

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This is soooo Soap. I can't. 🤣

[lazybutsmexy]

Soap sees this and immediately starts planning the very first "Task Force 141 Annual Road Trip":

[gomzdrawfr]

🛸

The next day after the "nightmare", Soap saw Ghost holding an M4 aiming at the sky

Soap: what the hell are you doing? Ghost: just preparing

[cherrydj-l]

we won’t judge you

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Annoying task force members - pet peeves - headcanons

Soap hates the heat. He blasts the AC on cold and buries you in blankets if you complain. Then, of course, whines when you refuse to remove the blankets. And don't even try to deny him access to your body when under said blankets.

He will whine worse than a husky being forced into a bathtub.

Same goes for when you are not butt naked for him. Yes, Soap has the absolute audacity to expect you to be nude when he is keeping the room a suitable habitat for polar bears.

Ghost hates everything that is not minimalistic. He ain't a hoarder, lovie. He is the dude with a single chair and a PS4. His apartment has the same furnishing, the landlord left. If you attempt to add something he will start an argument you eventually win.

Yes, Simon I need a second fork. People have more than one bloody fork.

People are wasteful, lovie...

This is my home too.

I own it.

S'that so!

Yes.

Fine. *starts packing*

Shit. No. Lovie. Stop that.

Don't touch me.

Eventually he makes it up to you. And tries to do better. But it takes time for things to get through his thick skull. This is why you opt to bouncing on his thick cock. Maybe your pussy will knock some sense into your boyfriend. Judging by the gone expression on his face... it won't be anytime soon.

Kyle is judgmental. High morals/high standards amrite?

You cover all his standards, but some of your opinions are wrong...

At least in his eyes.

Neither of you back down in an argument l which inevitably happens, and when things are desperate you call his captain, who is more than happy to help after hearing glass breaking.

Have you seen the vine of a dude who puts on a wig and fight a woman who says "You can't hit a girl" - yeah, that's Garrick for you.

You do fight each other. Never aggressively - more like petty hisses and cat swats. But you do. And on occasion, stuff are being throw - nothing too dear, just stuff. At least it gives the perfect opportunity for the squad to shop for gifts for you too rebels. And keeps Price's blood pressure moving.

Price is a stubborn old goat.

I don't like that.

Yes, you do.

No, darling, I don't.

You ate it last week.

You are confused.

Are you gaslighting me?!

No-o.

C'me here. Stop running! I-Just.Want.To.Talk.To.You.

Our dear captain, NEVER admits defeat. He will fight for whatever he wants and NOTHING will stop him... And this is why you chase him around with a shoe on a daily basis. Or refuse physical contact. Or steal his reading 'prescription' glasses, he definitely doesn't need, and watch him struggle.

Eventually he breaks when he realize his unnecessary stubbornness drives a wedge between you two thus breaks your beautiful heart.

When the smile on your face is replaced with even the slightest discomfort, it reminds him of the pictures he saw of his mother before she met his father. She was radiant, warm and happy. After she married, she gradually faded into a hollow version of herself - a version Price will not let you turn into. He will never allow himself to suck the life out of you the way his father did his mother.

[decaffeinatedcandycane]

Simon is currently pissed at the love of his life for acting cold and standoff-ish. He can't confront you directly so he settles for quietly stewing in his anger and occasionally barking orders to his sergeants.

After all you are in this situation because of him and you are rightfully terrified.

Simon never intended for you to know what is his exact profession, or what his team looked like. Hell, nobody knew you existed until an enemy attempted to kidnap you. Luckily the brat didn't count for the fact that Simon was home from an early deployment.

....

There are a lot of eyes on you, nobody believing their cold lieutenant bagged such a baddie. Some even said he probably brainwashed you, seeing how you steered away from him at any given chance.

Simon was fearing the worst. He thought you were going to end the relationship, that you were afraid of him, even embarrassed?

He couldn't take the uncertainty any longer, so he waited for you to head toward the supply room and quietly closed the door behind ensuring you won't run off.

You turned to leave clutching a packet of coffee in your hand, unaware of the benemoth waiting behind you.

"What the fuck, Simon?", you squicked in surprise as you turned around to find stoic Simon in full gear staring you down.

"Simon? What happened to, Sami?", he spat out with much more venom than he intended.

"Sami?" you slowly repeated.

"Got the message, lass." he solemnly replied and turned to leave, his hands trembling as he was reaching for the handle. You were done with him. He should have known this was about to happen. He should have hidden you better.

Oh thank god. he though as he felt the warmth of your hand squeezing his shoulder, "I am sorry. It is not you, it's me."

Shit.

"Simon. Please face me."

"No", he sternly replied. There was no way he was to face the love of his life when she was going to break his heart like that.

"I am not breaking up with you. I am just scared."

"Really." he replied. The way he excitedly turned his head toward you made your heart flutter. It your warm and loving Simon, not the cold-hearted and tactical Ghost.

"Yeah. I got hunted for sport few days ago and now your team is watching my every move, with Mactavish talking my ear off." you hurriedly replied, putting an especially annoying tone on the sergeant surname.

"But why do you run away from me, lovie?" said Simon, hands gently tracing your lips. It was taking a lot from him not to lock the door and bend you over the large crate at the end of the room, which is the perfect height crate for many positions.

"These are your fighting buddies. None of you shows any affection. I can't start shagging you in front of your captain.", you softly replied, moving away from his fingers, making him groan. So, you were uncomfortable. He can work with that.

"Well-" he mischievously starts-

"Simon!"

"Whot?"

[decaffeinatedcandycane]

A tough enemy, knowing they won't get out of the captain's grasp alive, destroys the lives of the task force by spreading whatever information they can get their hands on - to the public. This is their last "fuck you" to the team, before a bullet is put through their head.

Price is revealed as a war criminal alongside with Gaz, therefore banished from the UK and hunted for sport by agents, assassins - the works.

Ghost's face is officially revealed. He is also kicked out of the UK, plus several other countries - he had questionable solo missions.

Soap, well, his only punishment was that he was married to an enemy of his country, which does get him banished from Scotland, but nothing more.

While the others are hiding until they figure out how to get out of the mess, they hide with Kortac (the enemy of my enemy is my friend type of situation) Soap is actively slaying assassins forging his way to his new bride.

Turns out she is another framed gal trying to survive, and a pretty one, at that. Soap, being a bit of a dog, can't help but offer assistance in clearing both of their names, while they are still married. (non-negotiable)

Call him a dreamer, but he believes in love at first sight and can't break the marriage off, unless you prove to be truly incompatible. If everything goes according to plan, he will clear his name and get to keep a pretty bird as his wife.

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Prince!Soap in an arranged marriage with a bride who runs away after the wedding. She is a bright and stubborn lass but no match for the bloodhound prince, who spends months tracking her down.

Soap, too, hates the arrangement, however, he doesn't want unnecessary bloodshed. He makes an offer to the princess - She agrees to live with him for the sake of both countries and Soap will let her live the way she desires (as soon as it is in the same castle as him).

The princess agrees to his conditions, and to her surprise, Soap doesn't bother her for anything - unless they have to make an appearance. He does bring her the occasional gifts, but as time goes by - he starts talking to her more, making excuses for them to spend time together, sleazily and shamelessly worming his way into her heart.

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Simon who gets tired of his comrades constantly yapping about women and asking questions about his personal life, so he lies he has a girlfriend and refuses any details - no matter how much they bother him.

Little does everyone know you are genuine. The difference is that you are not Simon's girlfriend and don't even know he exists. He met you at the supermarket, found out where you lived, and stalked you ever since - simple as that.

Simon saw no harm in his actions since he followed you around simply because you were pretty. Plus, he was keeping you safe, so when you think about it, he was your unpaid, secret, would get hunted for sport by Price if found out, bodyguard.

And maybe, maybe, on occasions, he would drive potential unreliable suitors away from you. Don't ask how.

But even the great Simon Riley could resist you for so long. As his guilt was keeping him away from introducing himself to you, he decided to create the fantasy of his perfect little girlfriend - for the team.

Simon made up stories of how you two met, gave details - the works. And it truly satisfied him.

Until, one member, Gaz - found the whole thing sketchy. There was no way, his lieutenant found such a cute bird - all by himself. Something was wrong and the sergeant would get to the bottom of that.

Three weeks later he finally found you, messaged you - asking you if you were real and inviting you to base to surprise your "boyfriend". You kept the convo short, accepting the invitation and triple-checking if the military base was a real place, not some trap.

Imagine the horror and shock on Simon's face when he finds you, waiting for him with the rest of his team, laughing sweetly at their jokes and getting up to put a small kiss on the lieutenant's lips while he stays there - frozen in embarrassment and fear.