The Writer

"I'm just being dramatic, in fact, I'm only at it again as an addict with a pen."

[declamatoryarticulations]

Happy to see most of my 2017 Top Spotify Songs have nothing to do with you.

[definegodliness]

[declamatoryarticulations]

Not Anymore

I’ve got hips enough to bare a village

And brains enough to engineer a bridge

I’ve got moves enough to clear a dance floor

And a heart that couldn’t love more

I put myself down

Even though I made a new life

In a brand new town.

I’m proud of all the choices I’ve made

And yet I let other people cause that opinion

To be swayed

The truth is

I’m made of integrity

Anger and empathy

But I let my insecurities get the best of me

[wordsnquotes]

If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.

Mik Everett (via wordsnquotes)

[wordsnquotes]

I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she happens to have love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is indestructible.

John Steinbeck, East of Eden (via wordsnquotes)

[declamatoryarticulations]

Seat 102

I can feel myself slipping away

I can smell your temptation

As if it were my own perfume

Sweet and strong

I try to conceal my staggered breath

But you’ve already noticed

It feels tense

Inevitable.

You’re different compared to him

Kind and close

Strong and confident

Good.

[declamatoryarticulations]

I no longer try

I feel like you don’t want me

And you have given me

Zero evidence to the contrary.

You think I’m crazy

Maybe mad because you never came

But I’m only mad because you never called

Because you never asked

Because you never tried

And now I fucking hate you

I miss you

But I hate you

And by the way

It was Hourglass by Catfish and The Bottlemen

You don’t deserve to know that

But I don’t deserve to be tortured by it anymore

[declamatoryarticulations]

The right guy calls

A good roommate cleans

A best friend tries

And a dog listens.

That’s it.

[declamatoryarticulations]

I hate you for making me hate you.

[elleinadnahanam]

And I think it’s a shame. Not that you didn’t want me. But that you never even tried. You never asked me what I like to do on Monday nights when I’m home alone, or what kind of music makes me sad. You don’t know what my passions are, who I keep close, or how I feel about the ocean. And who knows–maybe, if you had learned those things, you still wouldn’t have wanted me. But who knows–maybe you would have.

d.e.m. // 8.31.17 (via daniellemanahan)

[wnq-writers]

When people say you are ‘wise beyond your years’ they really do not understand that it also means being ‘tired beyond your years.’

marwanoush, tax of wisdom (via wnq-writers)

[wordsnquotes]

When you realize that someone doesn’t like you, don’t dwell on it. You do not need everyone to like you. Anyone who feels they need to be liked by everyone likely doesn’t realize how exhausting this would be if it were to actually happen. Be thankful that there are those who want to ignore you. There is only one you. Charge admission.

Nick Burd,The Letter Q: Queer Writers’ Notes to their Younger Selves (via wordsnquotes)

[wnq-writers]

the getting to know someone phase can become draining. instead of being an exhilarating experience that you take in, absorb someone’s essence, and the world they encompass, it becomes this chore of emotions. this chore of trying to understand someone’s strengths and flaws. this chore of trying to understand why someone reacts to life’s music the way they do. this chore of trying to find common ground in all of the differences you may share. the beauty of understanding someone’s mind fades away, and all the exhaustion from energy spent in past connections kicks in. imagine spending years building with someone, only for them to stop one day on your journey together, and say they can’t carry on? imagine investing so much energy into something you find out was only half requited, some months later? no one ever wants to pour their heart and soul into something, and receive the same results. getting to know someone shouldn’t feel laborious, or feel like work - it should flow. the getting to know someone phase can become draining, and this is why it’s important to take some time away from getting to know people, and spend more time getting to know yourself again.

iambrillyant  (via wnq-writers)

[declamatoryarticulations]

After You

My biggest challenge when it comes to you was understanding why. Why you were always gone Why you were in my life Why I ever tried to love a man who doesn't even exist a blip on a fake map a sudden flash on a cracked screen an occasional voice in a desperate ear The easiest part is pretending you never happened Pretending you were never mine because you never were my friends never saw you but...neither did I And I am not grateful for any lessons learned And I am not grateful for any compliments given I am simply sad Sad that the hope I trained myself to give to nothing was indeed nothing to hope for I have nothing to show for you just some smiles that still creep across my angry face and the the tearful reminders that wipe those smiles away My heart is not bigger My days not brighter and my nights no shorter All you've given me is a notebook full of questions and a pen with stolen ink You were perfect for me but you were not real How the hell is that supposed to make me feel If I could tell you how I feel I would tell you all I did was care about you about me about us I have no idea what you cared about the way I made you feel? Your pain... The war. But not the importance of a phone call or an "I am sorry" every once in a while an "I am sorry" it's this way I am sorry I am this way I am sorry you care Because then I would tell you I am sorry I'm so fucking sorry For the way I made you feel both good and bad And I'm sorry you would not hear me out And I'm sorry for anything I may not know about I'm sorry about your parents your bad luck your chosen career the contract you exchanged for the life you wanted for the girl before me... but most of all I am sorry that I am not who you thought I was You didn't notice that I am A fighter A woman Passionate I am sorry that a person like that will not be ignored. If I can give you anything it is the knowledge that you are my longest poem my highest hope my greatest fear. I know that I fell for the idea of you and I am afraid that it was the real you who let me down. After you I can give myself drunken nights an old screen flashing with new lights regrettable sex another memory in my box of rejects

[declamatoryarticulations]

Countless Sheep

She begins to count sheep After 500, she lets them loose Even though her arms And legs are heavy with use Questions swarm her brain About what parts of life Are stealing the wholeness of sleep Finally She realizes In the pitch darkness of her bedroom cell Her eyes were open She just couldn't tell.

[declamatoryarticulations]

The Man on the Patio

Sitting on my patio Trying to enjoy the breeze And the cars passing by There is a man interrupting it all And isn't there always He sits on his patio daily Though I cannot see him And he spews on endlessly Into a phone, I guess For the man's conversation is always one sided And doesn't that make sense Each day I leave for work And I hear this man speaking louder Than can possibly Be needed to hear On the other side of a phone I do not know from which patio he reigns But it is far enough That I should not hear his complaints Go away invisible man There are people here Enjoying the two-way conversation Between life and enjoyment.

[declamatoryarticulations]

Loch Ness.