Deep green existentialist can be shortened and pronounced as "Ditch" BTW. That's how I think of this blog.
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@deep-green-existentialist
Deep green existentialist can be shortened and pronounced as "Ditch" BTW. That's how I think of this blog.
random informal poll for people who routinely self-inject medication
how bad was your needle fear?
t-shirt that says no fear
I was nervous, but not too bad
my hands were shaking the whole time
scared shitless, took multiple days to do the first one
I would faint if I even fucking thought about a needle
I'm nosey show me the results
(how bad was it when you first started?)
hoping to use this post as a point of reference for "you can totally inject your HRT even though you're fucking terrified of it". if you have any advice or anecdotes please do pipe up!
#i do subdermal injections #first one was yesterday actually #so im using like 29ish gauge needles #microscopic little pinpricks #got shaky fucking hands especially when im handling something as teensy tiny as that ... #hands shaking the whole time like im holding a jackhammer ... #and then my hands begin to shake and wobble #with the needle under my skin #30 seconds later its done#i pull out and breathe a sigh of relief #and you wanna know something about that absolute fucking clown car pile up #felt fucking *nothing* the whole time #not going in not while the needle was dancing around inside me #worst bit was the minor ache afterwards
@wizardcyborgfromtheyear2099 these tags had me giggling, both because you're adorable and because that's exactly how it is!! I've been lucky enough to be present for around a half-dozen first injections, it's always hours of nerves followed by "that was it????"
watching the "oh my god I just did it for real. it's happening" realization dawn over their faces is actual, real magic. congratulations, I'm proud of you :)
My first injection was like a month ago and I was so nervous about it. The previous time I'd had a needle stuck in me was for a blood test, and even though it went well for me, I had to lay down until the spots came out of my vision because I was scared. (was the best i'd done with being scared of needles for at least a year) I had all the stuff; I was using 25 gauge needles my doctor prescribed. I had a lovely friend on a video call walking me through and.. I kinda fucked it up on my first try! After working up to it for an hour, I pricked myself a little, bled, and panicked. Two days later, I gave it another go; on my own this time because I didn't want to make my friend wait for me and I felt a little guilty (I really could have accepted her offer to do be with me again, if you're reading this... smiles at you ^_^) I spent another hour or so working up to it, I got scared, I pushed it in and did the injection. Then I panicked, ran off to the bathroom to get a band-aid, and felt really good about myself because I actually managed to do it! I also went and ate ice cream and affirmed to myself things that were not the fear: It didn't actually hurt that much, (true) it was just an unfamiliar pain, which can be scary. I bled the tiniest little bit, which is not dangerous at all. I actually got a bruise from it, but still: not dangerous.
I felt pretty silly and pathetic about being that scared. But! I did it anyways, and I also felt really good about being brave. Anyways, five or six injections later and I'm kind of looking forward to my next one (tomorrow!) because it represents choosing something hard that's good for me. And it's almost not scary anymore! I think it was really important for me to reinforce afterwards how it was cool, not dangerous like I would have expected from my fear, and to do something that makes me feel pleasure like eating sweets. (If you're like me and really scared; building better associations with something scary like this can help)
one of the things I find most inspiring about being trans is just how determined we are to help each other. here you are a month out from starting HRT and already reaching a hand out to help others get to where you are. I am so, so proud of you :)
the spots in your vision were likely from something called reflex syncope (sometimes called vasovagal syncope, tho that's only 1 of 3 types of reflex syncope), which is the reason there's an "I would faint" option.
Episodes of vasovagal syncope are typically recurrent and usually occur when the predisposed person is exposed to a specific trigger. Before losing consciousness, the individual frequently experiences early signs or symptoms such as lightheadedness, nausea, the feeling of being extremely hot or cold (accompanied by sweating), ringing in the ears, an uncomfortable feeling in the heart, fuzzy thoughts, confusion, a slight inability to speak or form words (sometimes combined with mild stuttering), weakness and visual disturbances such as lights seeming too bright, fuzzy or tunnel vision, black cloud-like spots in vision, and a feeling of nervousness can occur as well. The symptoms may become more intense over several seconds to several minutes before the loss of consciousness (if it is lost).
it's absolutely fascinating to me that the brain has a "panic so hard your body blue screens and has to restart" process, all the more so because you can train yourself out of it.
notice how many people voted for that option and yet still managed to do it. I promise that you can too! I don't promise it'll be easy, of course, but you really just Can Do It.
Once I switched to subcutaneous injections instead of intramuscular, it got way easier. The current best practice advice is subcutaneous because you don't risk damaging your muscles that way. I've never hit a vein or nerve in my belly, but did many times in legs.
it’s been ten years
its been 12 years
13 years
14 years
15 years
16 years
17 years
loss is an adult today. happy birthday loss.
it’s been ten years
its been 12 years
13 years
14 years
15 years
16 years
17 years
loss is an adult today. happy birthday loss.
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
happy pride month
A little exercise I've been doing with myself whenever I get an urge to kill over some injustice in the world (that I don't follow up on and so functions as an emotional release with no action) is to identify instead a way to help the people affected. Most of the time only communism will fix it but identifying a solution is better than pointless bloodlust.
gen z new yorker: hey i’m gooning here!
millennial new yorker: hey i’m fapping here!
brony new yorker: hey i’m clopping here!
Text post by @zmpl ©️2026. All rights reserved.
Ivory and Pearl gripped pistols. Heavily engraved. Luger, Mauser, Colt
We're creating our own version of Alice in Wonderland, but uh, heh, get this... this isn't your mama's Alice in Wonderland. It's a little bit twisted. A little bit fucked up
John Brosio - Dinosaurs Eating CEO (2013) [2000 x 1833]
assorted lenin rugs in honor of lenins birthday
Today I wanted to talk about Kyle Bassinga. Kyle was a 21 year old man from Georgia, whose family described him as "a kind, thoughtful, and smart young man who loved nature, music, and the people around him". Kyle Bassinga was killed on February 18th 2026, just ten days after his birthday. He was found hanging from a tree in a park.
The police ruled it a suicide. The family and local community demanded an investigation. The police refused to change their ruling.
I know this website it too white for this to really go anywhere, but an understanding of the present reality of white supremacy in the United States is just so important to transfeminism here. Lynchings never stopped, white supremacy never went away, you just stopped looking.
Juliana Nzita, A 16 year old Black girl, was just found hanging from a tree on church grounds in Charlotte, NC. Police have ruled it a suicide, despite hanging ourselves from trees being like the one communally agreed way Black folks ain’t killing ourselves.
Every time I go on Twitter or Facebook I learn about another recent lynching or missing Black person going mostly unreported. Half the reason I keep an active account on either of those sites is because they’re the only place I can find out about the violence happening to Black and Trans people reasonably quickly.
But I do need y’all to know that Black folks are currently, actively, being disappeared and lynched—if they even find our bodies. Black girls are and have been more often stolen into human trafficking, especially if they’re immigrants, but I’ve been seeing new news of probable lynchings every other day. Shit is worse than you think it is right now, tumblr just too white of a site to care lol
People argue "I've seen a case like this every few months and it's always been a suicide"
Been a suicide or been ruled a suicide?
Usually it’s ruled a suicide because cops or people affiliated with cops/prisons/legal system like lawyers or prosecutors did it then buried the body on land belonging to one of those organizations, such as I noted here: in this thread, where over 200 bodies were found buried behind a jail since 2016:
💬 41 🔁 9104 ❤️ 7352 · Green Book Global - Black Travel Made Easy - Tips for Travel · The Greenbook was a travel guide for Black people; it
Non-Black and/or non-US based people often wonder why so many left-leaning Black folks in the US try to operate alternate justice systems within smaller community such as restorative justice, transformative justice, etc. when “all over the world, activists and their ancestors have fought for access to legal systems like this” and this is why.
Our legal system is explicitly designed to kill and enslave Black people. Our legal system from the cops to the lawyers and courts (one of the few times we got justice) to the prisons is legalized slavery where prisons are privatized and corporations are encouraged to maximize their profit by incentivizing every part of this system to hold as many people as possible.
Black folks can be proven innocent after years of time in prison or on death row and still killed by the state or dying in prison because the goal was never justice, it was to keep culling and controlling the Black population.
And outside of the system, we are lynched, raped, abused, trafficked, and robbed by those involved in our legal system, lives often irreparably destroyed, entire lives disappeared with no justice because that is the point, not a flaw. It’s almost always those in the legal system or their families and friends doing this, so that it can be ruled a suicide or a runaway or intracommunity issues and swept away.
So when we look to justice systems that do not throw away a life of any human, it is because we do not wish to see them enslaved, murdered, raped, abused, etc. at the hands of the state, because that is what WILL happen here in the US. We become abolitionists because we see that the alternative option is to allow others to become enslaved. Because it’s a minimum we can do when 95% of the time there will be no justice for us no matter what.
care less about men and care more about women. the system of patriarchy exists to normalize the opposite, so you have to make the conscious, active choice to go against it. you gotta
I will not vote for Gavin Newsom write that down right now