Wait, wait. There’s another murderer here? Err… wait. No. I don’t know anything. Nevermind.
Don’t say things like that???? Now you know I’ve gotta ask what the hell is going on, Evan. WHAT IS GOING ON, EVAN?

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@defectivedetectivedavid
Wait, wait. There’s another murderer here? Err… wait. No. I don’t know anything. Nevermind.
Don’t say things like that???? Now you know I’ve gotta ask what the hell is going on, Evan. WHAT IS GOING ON, EVAN?
I’m not able to drink but I have drinks so come hang out! I also brought burritos and some hot cocoa if anyone wants some. We even have our handy dandy fire pit ! It’s the first time in so long I’ve been able to get out of city hall.
And I’m on my way from the grocery store with all the weird pregnancy cravings. Which I will also try because bonding.
[txt]: SOS we have a puppy situation I accidentally became a grandparent
[text]: huh. fancy that[text]: the vet on twelfth is pretty good
from: Wifey [text]: david. someone sent a package to my office. there's blood.
[text]: don't touch anything, call 911
Who do you look up to the most?
@theodorenotteddy, he’s my work dad even though he’s not that much older.
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
Honestly, it was straight up weird. I was a bubble. Not even an epic bubble. Just a bubble. And I was floating around and was kind of in love with this cactus, but if I tried to hug the cactus, i would pop and be dead.
Is that why you were poking me in my sleep?
That’s possible, but if you were my cactus, you’d be worth popping for <3
David [text]: need your opinion on if a thing is pretty or not [text]: i am out of my element and my mother is not helping [text]: "don't screw this up, david" "you've got one chance, david" "don't ruin this for me, david"
[TEXT]:: i can try and help? but my idea of pretty might differ from your mother’s idea of pretty
[text]: well my mother can hate it so long as delia likes it
[text]: image attachments
[text]: pretty or no?
[text]:: that is very pretty
[text]:: are you finally getting the ring?
[text]: that’s the idea!
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
Honestly, it was straight up weird. I was a bubble. Not even an epic bubble. Just a bubble. And I was floating around and was kind of in love with this cactus, but if I tried to hug the cactus, i would pop and be dead.
12. How you met the person you fell hardest for
@urfavmayor decided to come check out what was going on with the weird detective, and the rest is history.
David [text]: need your opinion on if a thing is pretty or not [text]: i am out of my element and my mother is not helping [text]: "don't screw this up, david" "you've got one chance, david" "don't ruin this for me, david"
[TEXT]:: i can try and help? but my idea of pretty might differ from your mother’s idea of pretty
[text]: well my mother can hate it so long as delia likes it
[text]: image attachments
[text]: pretty or no?
Whats your relationship status?
Single. I am pretty sure that there is nobody in town that is brave enough to deal with the Harris Reports’ gopher.
ohnopeter:
You hear that, @defectivedetectivedavid. He just admitted to homicide.
Yup. I did indeed. Go ahead, arrest me, I dare you. I could use a vacation.
Seriously??? I’m gonna need better than that, but WE PROBABLY GOT ONE GUY SO I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT THE SPOONS RIGHT NOW.
Whats your relationship status?
Engaged, even if no one believes me. To @urfavmayor who is literally a million times too good for me AND I KNOW THIS. Also JUST IN CASE ANYONE MISSED IT WE ARE HAVING A BABY AND ARE VERY EXCITED.
4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?
Never long enough. Mornings are the worst part of the day.
05: What is your relationship status?
Future wife to the best damn man that’s ever existed @defectivedetectivedavid Oh, and I’m his baby mama so there’s that too. In short, HEAVILY TAKEN.
AND I AM THAT LUCKY MAN.
Best thing to put on pizza? Worst thing to put on pizza?
Best is extra cheese, worst is raw tomato.
defectivedetectivedavid:
That’s easy. I don’t eat salsa. And I pick all of the tomatoes off of the nachos like a grownup.
But… but tomatoes add the tang to nachos? The juiciness? You can’t substitute it with anything else. And no salsa?? Oh my god. What about those skewers with tomatoes and the little round cheeses and the leafy thing? WHAT ABOUT THOSE. A world without tomatoes is a scary one bro.
You know there are people who are allergic to tomatoes right?
Lovely calm asks to enjoy a nice up of tea to ☕
1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?
2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?
3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?
4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?
5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?
6: What does your umbrella look like?
7: Do you listen to ASMR?
8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?
9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?
10: Favorite color aesthetic?
11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?
12: Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?
13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?
14: Have you ever rode a horse?
15: Do you have glasses?
16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?
17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?
18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?
19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie
20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?
21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?
22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?
23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?
24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?
25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)
26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?
27: Do you like nicknames?
28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?
29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)
30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?)
31: Are you a fashionable person?
32: Do you like watching holiday movies?
33: Cookies or brownies?
34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?
35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?
36: Do you like cobblestone streets?
37: How often do you doodle?
38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?
39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?
40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?
41: Any birthmarks?
42: Thoughts on freckles?
43: First video game you ever played?
44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?
45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?
46: Thoughts on spring?
47: Ideal temperature outside?
48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?
49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?
50: Do you enjoy windy days?
Best thing to put on pizza? Worst thing to put on pizza?
Best is extra cheese, worst is raw tomato.
evvanxxyang:
I cannot believe my own two ears right now. How… how do you eat salsa? Without tomatoes? I??? What? Are you even living? Don’t even get me started on nachos.
That’s easy. I don’t eat salsa. And I pick all of the tomatoes off of the nachos like a grownup.