[bgm05]

Just graduated from Begging Dog University with a master’s in Boiling Water

[mortalityplays]

last week I was deep in the trenches ploughing through work and mid-afternoon realised I'd neglected to open the blinds and the room was a little dim, so I got up to do that and discovered that a car had flipped onto its roof directly outside my flat and the entire street was closed and flooded with emergency service while they dragged someone out of the vehicle and packed them into an ambulance. so now every time I open the blinds I'm a little like the dog with the ham sandwich bush. what the fuck could it be today.

[thestuffedalligator]

“When we were kids, the Phonics Wizard came to our town to show off how the letter E can change the sounds of vowels. He turned a can into a cane, a pin into a pine. This one kid had a cap and he changed it into a cape, that kind of thing.

“And we loved it, we were all having a great time, but then he saw my sister and I, and he just got this - this look in his eyes, and then-”

She hesitated, worrying the coarse material between her fingers. “Things got pretty bad after that,” she muttered. “I know it’s silly, but I try to keep - her - comfortable. We don’t know if she can still hear us, or see us, or if she’s even still in here, but I like to think she is. I talk to her when I can, I leave music on when I’m out of the house. I tried to convince my parents to bring her with us when we went to Disneyland, but they didn’t - didn’t really take that well.”

After a moment, she put the ball of twine back onto its pillow. “Anyways. They tried to arrest the Phonics Wizard, but he had a plan in case something went wrong and he turned it into a plane and flew away.”

[dogpuppy]

[karrakazz]

[wordcubed]

[golongbyjoannanewsom]

obsessed w this person in the replies

[moosenaround2448]

I'd fucking retire dude are you kidding me

[foone]

I've got one of these. It's from the vtech V.smile educational games console. It's got a really nifty feature: it's ambidextrous!

[themanwiththesuitcaseofflies]

you start beating them and mid match they beyblade their fucking controller to their dominant hand

[valtsv]

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

[valtsv]

if you could see the thread i'm hanging on by you would not say these things to me

[parkchanwoohoo]

[cleaningouttherooms]

sex is some naked bullshit and food is some crap they found on the ground but online poker is forever

[yandere-angela]

you ever think about how mr beast is real life monokuma

[acerby]

I believe Mr Beast is just itching for the day he can do a real death game. I think he constantly pitches it to his team and they just keep going "not yet, but soon"

[kaijuerotica]

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

[kn0wmore]

[fatkidnogo]

( @foxgirlbytes )

[aflo]

I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing

[aflo]

[winged-void]

*spits out a nuanceberry* that was without a doubt the worst thing I've ever tasted, and an affront to all that is good

[savethelifeofmychild]

what's up with folk music being full of faggots, does singing about vietnamese war and drugs turn u into dick/clit sucking machine? so fucking tired of harmonica bisexuals rn

this is the best ask ever. music critics in the mid 1960s:

[empathviv]

people are always trying to humanize dracula and hes always trying to draculize humans