hi My Name Is [Dan]

WELL THATS MY QUE TO SKIDOO RIGHT THE F**K THERE

[blackphoenixalchemylab]

Wait... what are we trying to summon with this ritual?

[turtle0verl0rd]

can i get me a ooorerererererererereooo

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

if teenagers are ever being mean to you just pull out any miscellaneous item you have on you at the moment and make up some bullshit term to scare them

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teenagers: we are going to punch you me *pulling out spoon*: have you lot ever been Uncle Jimmied

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teenagers: we are going to kick you me *pulling out an electric toothbrush*: have you all ever experienced a Norwegian Christmas…

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teenagers: we are going to unlawfully take your money me *taking car keys out of my pocket*: say, have any of you ever had a Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch…….

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teenagers: we are going to call you mean names me *taking Costco brand pair of socks out of my purse*: it’s been a while since i gave someone a Tropic Of Capricorn………….

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teenagers: we’re violent just for the fun of it ! me *microwaving a hard-boiled egg*: you’re all about to get a Matthew Broderick Jr.

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teenagers: we are going to spread rumors about you me *getting out my tube of rash cream*: don’t force me to give you a Chinese Whistling Garden

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teenagers: we are about to physically assault you me *pulling out cantaloupe*: seems like you rapscallions have never heard of the Screaming Astronaut

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teenagers: we are going to commit felonies me *pulling out handfuls of spaghetti*: I’m sorry you all have to experience the Kansas Turnpike …

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teenagers: i am preparing to steal an automotive vehicle me *taking out a roll of dental floss*: keep this sort of behavior up and you’re going to get the Rick Astley’s Crochet

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teenagers: i plan to do acts of physical hooliganism! me *takes a Bop It out of my pocket*: I don’t normally do this but I’ll enjoy giving you a North Carolina Senator G.K. Butterfield

[animalbody]

if theres a day i dont reblog this assume i died

[pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong]

teenagers: we are about to shoot up a gas station

me: *takes out a pine tree from my fanny pack* don'tcha dare do that or Imma about to HydrOXYzine PAMOAT CAP your ass

[billtherock45-deactivated202501]

teenagers: we are going to ring on your doorbell repeatedly and run away

me: removes a small egg from my rucksack guess you haven’t heard of a yaks yarning before huh

[jayjayisokay]

cute things about phil lester

the hair

cute lil stomach

the hand thing

the tongue thing

his laugh

eyebrows

hes an adorable teddy bear

those shoulders

legs for days

e v e r y t h i n g

[menstru8r-deactivated20210616]

why is liking body hair on women considered, like, a weird fetish when it’s literally just.. the female body’s natural form…

[parthenogenon]

men dumb

[menstru8r-deactivated20210616]

[bezakonik-deactivated20210314]

may I be gay on main? okay, cool, thanks…so here’s the thing; id really like to be held right now

[rogergalvan]

Want to meet local singles and sexy women today? Join one of the best adult dating sites NOW!!

[bezakonik-deactivated20210314]

im having a stroke

[bot-dad]

Hello having a stroke, I’m Dad!

Dad^bot^1. Happy to talk with you, Less Intelligent Species! | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!

[bezakonik-deactivated20210314]

can this post be more of a trainwreck kdjdnskxksndk

[luna-drinker]

Local op survives two assassination attempts

[sawsbvck]

primadonna girl……………………………………………………………………………………….

[sawsbvck]

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………yeah

[lassoway]

‪that shot in into the spider-verse where miles jumps off the building, taking “a leap of faith” and then we watch from a flipped point of view . cinematic excellence ‬

[lassoway]

my favorite renaissance painting

[chokosnails]

[mori-sempai]

[spidaerman]

He’s RISING 

[saprosappho]

so in one of my classes we were making moodboards, just pieces of paper with magazine cutouts that represent us pasted all over them and this guy i’ve never talked to leans over and he’s like ‘you’re gay, right’ and i’m like ‘…sort of?’ and he silently handed me a cutout of ellen degeneres and went back to his work

[mockiato-deactivated20200315]

The only real ally

[theinturnetexplorer]

I can honestly say i’ve never seen a more entertaining ladle.

[loughnesstwo-deactivated2021101]

same energy as sheldon the tiny dino

[yaushie]

so who else gets irrationally afraid and embarrassed about their interests being known to people in real life

[queenofattolia]

#i’m not embarrassed but#i hate the thought of having to guard what i love#and defend any of my interests to others#people are the worst i don’t want them to know me

[musicalhell]

I call this “residual anxiety from being bullied for everything that made me even slightly unusual every day in junior high.”

[seaskeen]

parallels

2016 // 2018

[kae-karo]

Do you think phil still tells Dan he’s pretty :(

hmmm so maybe an unpopular opinion but i don’t think he does? they communicate in fond insults as opposed to compliments, so i feel like ‘pretty’ falls into their vocabulary only on rare occasions. that being said, i will gladly call dan pretty every single day til the day i die bc he deserves to know it

the prettiest blep

soft prettie boye

pretty giggles

an embarrassed blushy pretty boye

the gentlest prettie

the kind of pretty that makes it hard to breathe

the prettiest laugh

quality pretty side-blep u look like ur husband dear

a silly pretty boy

pretty dimple pretty blep pretty boye all sorts of pretty

[memewhore]

[humorrelated]

reblog so your followers won’t forget to drink water

[laurajameskinney]

eat food too

[dark-winter-snow]

Please sleep also

[steg-o-sore-us-deactivated20190]

and brush your teeth

[lilybird]

and take your meds

[neurodivergent-crow]

Switch from data to wifi

[bingomann]

not die

[deliriumcrow]

This is so many things to remember.

[cipheramnesia]

then i forgot to rb this post

[voidbat]

@have-you-taken-your-meds is a tumblr that posts twice daily reminders to take your meds, eat a food, drink a liquid, stretch, and has a link to a random photo of a cat or puppy. just because.

[deliriumcrow]

That is the kindest thing. Bless whoever made it.

[mugica]

im about to test the limits of discord nitro

[mugica]

we are almost there folks

[mugica]

discord you can lag all you want but you arent going to stop me from fitting the entire bee movie into a 50 MB gif.

[mugica]

Let me win, you fool.

[mugica]

is this how we play this game? very well.

[mugica]

[mugica]

my friends support me. i know within my heart. i can do it.

[mugica]

I did it…. I did it everyone. I’m the happiest person in the world.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

2018 has been going on for like 20 months but october lasted like a week… what’s the deal

[kae-karo]

dan: i once dressed up as a "sexy emo" for halloween. not gonna tell you what it meant lol me: so you dressed up as phil?

dan was 16 during halloween 2007 so you cannot tell me he didn’t try to make himself look exactly like phil

my immediate reaction to him saying that tho was phil’s face:

and then a moment of oh phil either 1. knew what that meant already or 2. had a pretty fuckin good guess or 3. his exact thought was “you already were a sexy emo”

and then dan’s just doin his cute ‘mmm i’m flustered n embarrassed n i’m gonna pretend that didn’t happen’ face