🧸

she•her ♕︎ hii, it's callie:) pinterest, swiftie, percy jackson &marauders girlie and. . . that's it, i've said it all... yup... i only survive the chaos of life through my obsessions, fictions and daydreams (you do too. you wouldn't be on tumblr otherwise 🫢)

[trainingseasons]

Friendly reminder that this blog is pro-choice and if you don’t think everyone should have full control of their own body, then kindly unfollow me right now and go to hell

[tswiftupdatess]

Taylor Swift for "I Knew It, I Knew You"

(June 5, 2026)

[happyheidi]

🦔

This is Charles. He wants to go on a journey around tumblr. could you show him around?

[roonilwazlibforever]

Ongoing Jily Fics I am obsessed with -

Between ashes and your lashes by Loonyluu

Once more to see you by dejaentends

I'd give up forever to touch you by ct7567

These hands had to let it go free by ritaskeetered

Till Death Do Us Part (Let It Be Quick) by ritaskeetered

The Prophet's fable : Teenage Mystic by petalsonparchment

one more time now, with feeling by gigglesandfreckles

Catch the Wind: The Remastered Edition by Yallthemwitches

Formidable by Yallthemwitches

Show Not Your Face, but your Heart's Desire by ohmygodshesinsane

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

in any friend group i always get really into figuring out which person is the glue that holds ‘em together y’know?? ‘cause there’s usually a person like that.

and i used to think it was remus for the marauders in two senses. his lycanthropy is the genesis of their animagus transformations and therefore he’s the reason they’re A Pack (for those uninitiated into the full world of marauders tropes, The Pack is one. and it’s important 2 me), but also. remus has uncommon kindness, and thoughtfulness, and i firmly believe that the others saw that and valued it. so remus as the glue made sense.

i’ve never thought it was sirius or peter — sirius is sort of a tornado in his own right y’know, too big and too loud and a complete raging disaster. he doesn’t bring people together so much as he brings them in. and peter, peter couldn’t hold anyone together. in the end, peter couldn’t hold himself together.

i can still make a compelling argument for remus, but really, really, i believe it’s james.

i think about what remus says in deathly hallows all the time, that he would have considered it the height of dishonor to mistrust a friend. james, young, brave, brilliant, bright james. james would never do wrong by a friend, and at their heart that’s what the marauders are about: sticking by your friends, no matter how hellacious or miserable the road becomes. james had faith.

i think the animagus transformation was james’s idea. i think that for james, thinking about remus suffering like that tore him up inside and drove him to tears late at night and made him ache deeper than he knew he could. james was the one who stopped The Prank, and there’s no doubt in my mind that his first thought was of remus — what would happen to remus if one of them made a stupid mistake. james is the one sirius turns to when he runs away. james is the one who would do anything, anything, anything for a friend.

james was their backbone. their strongest point, their unshakable, impossibly stubborn friend. james directed them all towards the kind of friendship he felt so naturally, and in the chaos of the war, it’s james who never falters once.

[selfeffacing-jokes]

James is the glue because he was willing to love these three boys that, for their own reasons, didn’t think they were deserving or needing of love.

Sirius didn’t understand love, and had probably not experienced the loyal and unfaltering love that James showed him. Remus genuinely didn’t think he was worth loving, and hadn’t planned to be engulfed by the tornado of care and affection that is James Potter. Peter hadn’t realised how unconditional love could be.

But James brought them together and made them a family (and I have a lot of sad feelings)

[harryjamesheadcanons-deactivate]

When Ron, frustrated with studying for NEWTs and with Hermione’s anxious sixth-year nagging, explains to her what reading is like for him, Hermione’s breath catches. “Ron, you’re dyslexic,” she says, softly, and instantly regrets every snide comment she’s ever made towards his study habits. 

Soon, by asking around, Hermione amasses a list of spells for Ron to try - some stilling the page, some changing the font of books for easy reading, some going after Ron’s temporal lobe directly. 

These help, a little, but not as much as knowing there’s a word for why reading is so hard for him. That it’s normal, that he’s not stupid, and that Hermione suddenly helps instead of criticizes, looks for solutions rather than complains, praises instead of gloats. 

[inner-muse]

!!! Oh

[crudatorious-deactivated2019080]

#listen tho what if #muggles are terrible about disabilities#but wizards are even worse#they don’t even have the terminology that muggles do#it’s all ‘kinda loony’ or “just dim’ or (most often) ‘not a talented witch/wizard’#and ofc ~everyone knows~ that all illnesses can be cured with magic#(except for some magical illnesses that can’t be cured at all)#but as ron talks more with hermione and other muggleborns#and researches the spells hermione gets him#and realizes that most of the spell creators probably also had dyslexia but had no word for it#he realizes that what ‘everyone knows’ isn’t true at all#after abt a year of this he talks to mcgonagall abt changing his career goals#goes into healing with a concentration on research#and a secret concentration on finding out what muggles know and bringing it into the wizarding world#(his dad is so proud of him and prolly helps out a lot too)

[hashtagloveloses]

this paragraph is better than anything jk ever wrote about grown ron

[legere-librum]

I can never understand how Snape apologetics can stand up for him when he CANONICALLY does this shit.

I can maybe, maybe, understand those who haven’t read the books standing up for him, because honestly the movies don’t cover all the horrible stuff he does. But those who have read the books and still stick up for him baffle me.

I mean, you don’t see anyone sticking up for the Dursley’s or Umbridge, when they do the same stuff to Harry as Snape. How is Snape any different?

[rainsdollies]

I was extremely disappointed when it was revealed that Snape was actually “a good guy”. The Snape of DH didn’t match the Snape from the beginning of the story in a rather ridiculous way. I remember being one of the only one of my friends that was hoping that Snape would in fact be evil in DH. DH ended up being such a disappointment and I really felt so detached from what had started off as such an incredibly strong story.

[fanonical]

i’m gonna refer back to this post every time we get snape discourse

[soberscientistlife]

NOTE TO SELF-SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!

[tyrannosaurus-tex]

Slow the fuck down is also the way to avoid scams, social engineering, phishing, etc.

"Oh, no the CEO of my employer is having an emergency and I need to click this link right now!!!"

Slow down...

"Why would the CEO be emailing ME of all people? Maybe this email is a phishing attack that would get my employer hacked and me fired for allowing it." (It probably is a phishing email.)

[lytefoot]

In general, "Slow the fuck down" is an extremely powerful information literacy skill.

[socialistexan]

I've rarely seen a more validating sentence in my entire life.

[rivendellrose]

High fives all around, friends. If we’ve accomplished nothing else today, we still have this.

[adampknave]

I feel the need to add this

[random-chaos-thoughts]

Death Of The Author is out, Bullying Of The Author Out Of A Forum About Their Own Work is in

[jilylicious]

So prompt, Jily and cuddling preferences. Little things like cuddling with Harry as a baby and just holding eachother while watching a movie. Make it sweet and sour please!

James is a touchy feely person, I mean not as much as Sirius but he always manages to keep skin contact with Lily even if it just her hand, their knees, her hair, their shoulders, anything really.

The reason James is so close is because he was raised by Euphemia who always hugged him, or ruffled his hair or just stroked his chin, the woman loved her son so much that she always felt the need to feel his warmth.

James needs to feel Lily’s warmth all the time and even more after Euphemia and Fleamont pass away. James yearns for love, you would think he’s a puppy. 

Watching movies with James is torture, he never shuts up, Lils, who’s that?, and constantly changes positions so he can be closer to Lily. James Potter if you don’t learn how to sit still we are ending these movie nights. 

When it comes to Harry, James is so gentle because even though he is married with a son he is still a child deep inside and he’s so scared that he might hurt him. 

Lily always tells him that he wouldn’t but James is scared nevertheless because he’s so tiny and seems so fragile and Harry is as long as his forearm. Lily, I can’t. He’s so small and I’m so big and I’m going to– OH MERLIN’S BEARD, I’M HOLDING HIM.

But as Harry grows a little air tosses start, Harry giggles like his mother and his eyes shine like his father.

James likes giving Harry weird hairstyles while bathing him. (SOMEONE PLEASE DRAW THIS) Lily scolds him but can’t stop giggling when Harry is suddenly so punk rock Sirius would be jealous.

When James takes a nap, he usually has Harry on his torso asleep as well. (SOMEONE DRAW THIS ONE, TOO) Lily falls in love with James once more every time she sees them like that.

Lily is also a cuddler just not as much as James. 

She’s not a big fan of PDA but with James she gets used to it.

And now it’s snogging in empty classrooms, in the middle of a corridor, in the common room, holding hands in the Great Hall etc.

Lily used to not like PDA now she’s a big fan because glasses and stupid grins and hazel eyes and messy dark hair.

She blushes sometimes when Sirius whistles when he sees them but she gets her revenge by whistling when she sees him with Remus: Remus is purple, Sirius doesn’t give a shit.

With Harry, Lily is way more comfortable because mother instincts.

Lily loves it when Harry falls asleep on her neck, that’s his favourite spot.

She loves it when Harry plays with her hair just like James does.

Lily will say she doesn’t like cuddling but in bed she’s an actual koala.

She throws her leg over James while sleeping and deny it the next morning. James loves it.

Their best mornings are when Harry is in the middle of them asleep after waking up at 6 am. 

James and Lily’s last touch is when James leads Lily to the stairs to go get Harry. 

James hugged Harry the last time when he put him in his crib to sleep.

Lily hugged him for the last time when she was comforting him after she heard James’ body fell.

Harry never knew how much his parents loved hugging and cuddling him and never felt a proper hug until Molly Weasley hugged him.

Harry wasn’t much of a cuddler because he never knew what it was until Ginny came along now he’s almost as insatiable as James.

[jilylicious]

Jily Masterpost

This will be constantly updated and will be on my blog, in the masterposts page. These are NOT after life convos. These are mostly fluff.

irreversible - James falling in love with Lily

untouchable - Lily’s falling in love with James

unbelievable - asking to move in after school

unimaginable -  marriage proposal

inseparable - wedding

impossible - Lily’s pregnancy announcement

incomparable - Harry’s birth

[jilylicious]

fly with me

Marauders Era, 5th year

Lily hated everything about James bloody Potter but she especially hated him when he was standing tall in the middle of the Quidditch pitch as if he was the Prince of the highlands, that boy had the ego the size of a dragon. It didn’t help when all of the red and golden stands yelled out his name in unison. Lily could accept the fact that James was a pretty good Quidditch player if he didn’t fucking gloat about it every five minutes in the common room.

Lily could literally see the third year girl next to her drool as she watched James fly effortlessly through Ravenclaw defense and not-so-gently nudge her friend in the ribs as she whispered “isn’t he sooo cuuteee?”. Lily felt like smacking the girl in the head to knock some sense into her but thought better of it,this was none of her business. The fact that almost all of the student body was infatuated with James Potter was ridiculous, Lily thought it was because Sirius was taken by Remus because Sirius was superior to James in look wise. Lily would never tell it out loud but she kind of understood why people liked James and why she could never do so. The ego that fed his self confidence and charisma was extremely annoying to Lily.

Thank Merlin he had stopped asking Lily out though, Lily was finally at peace. After that incident with Snape, James had withdrawn himself, too and Lily felt good. She never needed anyone to protect her or defend her honour, she was very capable of doing so herself, thank you very much. Lily left the game early and went to the common room after James scored his 10th teams 14th goal, she knew how it would end, it always ended the same when James was in the mood for it. Just as she had expected half an hour later Firewhiskey was flowing like waterfalls in the common room as a tipsy James approached with a bottle of half empty Firewhiskey in his hand.

“Alright there, Evans?” he asked carelessly as he tried to find his balance.

“Congratulations Potter, you got a hundred more girls to fall in love with your ego today” teased Lily. James shrugged at this and left without another word. Lily made her way to her dorm, as much as she loved her house, she had never enjoyed the celebrations after the games. So she settled herself in her bed, unable to fall asleep, making pillows fly around the room as she tried to keep herself from doing her Prefect duties and spoil all their fun. No, she wasn’t going to do that.   

6th year

Games against Slytherin always took a toll on James Potter, Lily could always see that and now that he was the Captain, the tall boy was crushing under the expectations. It was the second game against Slytherin and even though Gryffindor crushed them in the first one, James still had his doubts. 

Lily looked at James as he played with his food sitting just across her.

“James, you have to eat,”  recommended Lily. She didn’t know why she called him James, she never did that. “and you need to stop worrying, you will do just fine”

“Oh, not you, too, Evans” said James as he dropped his fork and took off his glass to rub his eyes. “They are going in for the kill, they want each of us in those beds. I don’t want my boys to get hurt just for a cup, I’m not a psycho”

“Okay, Potter. Snap the fuck out of it. Where’s the Potter I know and hate?” she smiled as she put porridge in front of the darker skinned boy with some pumpkin juice. “Now eat up before I hex you to next year”

James smiled a little, Lily could feel him ease up a little. She hated him but they were friends now, it kinda worked out that way without either of them intending to and James, well, he had grown out of that idiotic phase where he hexed people for the pure pleasure of it. He had actually grown literally, too. He had grown taller and broader, Quidditch did him well and then Lily realised she had been staring at Potter for too long as Sirius came to the table.

“Alright there, Evans?” he teased, his grey eyes shining with mischief.

“Sod off, Black” replied Lily almost instantly because he knew, he knew she was looking at James with something else in her mind. James finished his porridge and chugged his pumpkin juice as he got up to go to the pitch.

“Good luck” blabbered Lily with a shy smile and James left with a nervous nod.

“When will you tell him?”

“When will I tell him what, Black?” challenged Lily, there was nothing to say and they got up silently to get some good seats. Peter and Remus met them at the entrance of the Great Hall and they placed their usual bets for the game as they walked.

Lily felt edgy as the players walked out on the pitch, she heard Peter whistle loudly. It was fun watching the Quidditch games with the Marauders but this time, Lily would rather a little less enthusiasm knowing how James felt right now. He wasn’t a complete prick after all, she felt her heart flutter as James looked their way. This had started happening way too often and Lily was starting to worry because really? Potter?

The game was as disgustingly rough as James expected it to be Lily found herself hiding her face behind Remus as James was hit by one of the massive Slytherin Beaters. It was the longest one and a half hours Lily had to endure, at the end of it James was in one piece and he was smiling widely.

Lily had started joining the celebrations lately and they were as fun as Marlene told they were, she realised she enjoyed it because she didn’t spend her time criticising the Marauders but instead drinking unhealthy amounts of Firewhiskey with them. When the night ended Remus, Lily and James were sitting on the couch James in the middle as the others were laying on the ground. Lily felt her already warm skin burn every time she felt James against it and this may be Firewhiskey speaking but she wanted to kiss him. I am so fucked. They talked about everything that night and Lily felt safe. She hadn’t laughed that hard for a long time, she made James give her a piggy back ride to her dorm because she was too drunk to climb the stairs, praying that no one would remember it tomorrow. As James let her down slowly, he gave her a grin and disappeared to his dorm quickly. Lily fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and dreamed of messy black hair and warm brown eyes.

7th year

It was the first game of their last year. McGonagall had practically begged James to win the cup this year because the coming generation didn’t please McGonagall one bit. 

Lily woke up to the familiar scent of his boyfriend, who had probably been lying awake for the past hour. 

“Morning” she mumbled sleepily.

“Morning, love” replied James, his voice still rough and Lily just loved that. She got up slowly and kissed her boyfriend a little too eagerly that James had to stop her. “Not a good idea before Quidditch game, Lils”

Lily rolled her eyes and got up as James took all of her in and jumped out of the bed to lift her from her waist, Lily’s favourite.

“We are going to be late to breakfast and you need to eat Potter” she scolded as she pulled over a sweater she picked up from Remus’ pile of clothes. The other boys had started slowly shuffling.

“Wake up you fuckers, I have a game today” yelled James suddenly making Sirius jump.

“Fuck you” groaned Peter. James grabbed Lily’s hand and they made their way to the Great Hall. Lily watched as almost everyone wished James a good luck and realised how much tenser he got with each pat on his back. It as raining outside so Lily slowly took James’ glasses as he stared confused and bewitched them to stay clear.

“I love you” murmured James as he put his glasses back on and got up.

“Love you, too” 

She did, she did love him so much and was actually proud to call him her boyfriend. She loved that they were Head Boy and Girl as it gave them freedom in the castle and lots of time to talk and snog. Lily loved that his brown eyes looked like honey and that his hand fit perfectly on her waist, she loved that his messy hair was the perfect place to hang onto as he kissed her fervently. She loved that James was hers and no one else’s, she loved that most of the girls were jealous of her because she was the one holding James Potter’s hand and not them. Lily realised she had made it to her seat while she was thinking all the ways she loved James Potter.

The game was relatively easier than Slytherin ones but Hufflepuff had a good team and James knew that. Lily prepared herself mentally to not attack anyone who’s a little too harsh on James because he could handle himself. 

It had been quarter of an hour and Lily couldn’t keep it in anymore as a Bludger scraped James’ left arm. 

“Oi newbie, I will fucking haunt you if you hurt him” yelled Lily over the rain to the Hufflepuff’s new beater and the boy literally shrunk in size out of fear. “That’s better.”

Lily cheered and jumped with each goal James scored and very audibly shouted “That’s MY boyfriend!” like there was anyone who wasn’t aware.

Lily got lost in thought for a while as he watched James fly perfectly, the way he dived and rose again swiftly even though the rain made it harder on everyone else, James wasn’t affected by it. His wet robes made every part of his body very visible and Lily shuddered a little and she tamed herself because this was not the time. She would have James to herself after the game was done.

When the game was done Lily flung herself into James’ arms and snogged the living shit out of him because James was hers and no one could stop her. 

[jilylicious]

survive

One moment of hesitation was all it took. One second he had felt like it was James hovering above him playing stupid games as he does, only one second of hesitation and he had felt the air leave his lungs as his own hand choked it out of him. He should have strangled him, he shouldn’t have listened to him but how could he have denied the effect James always had on him? Harry looked so much like the boy Peter trusted and loved when he was a kid. He still did love James even though no one would believe him, he did, but what was he supposed to do? As he struggled under the grasp of his own hand, Harry and Ron had tried to free him but there was nothing they could do, he had brought this on himself.

Peter no longer saw Harry trying to pull away the betraying hand away but he was looking into the abyss now. He didn’t know where he was, maybe somehow he survived, oh how he wished he had survived. He was a Gryffindor but he had never been able to conquer his fear of death, it was always there in the back of his mind telling him he needed to survive and do whatever it takes to do so. It was there when he broke James’ trust, it was there when he left Sirius to die, it had always been there.

Peter looked at his hands, his missing finger was where it belonged, his arm was now back in place fully intact and his. He pushed himself up slowly to look around where he was and wished he hadn’t. He tried to run but it was like he was in an invisible cage. Was this a nightmare? Was this what hell looked like? All four of them standing side by side, as James tried to hold Sirius back, Lily stared at him with her hand on the shoulder of the tall handsome boy Peter recognised from the graveyard, the spare, Cedric. Somehow the hell he had heard from all the people when he was younger sounded better, he would have taken flames instead of the disgust on Sirius’ face, the fear in Cedric’s eyes, the disappointment in Lily’s expression and the emptiness in James’ stare. He would have cut his own arm off just to get away from wherever he was.

Everyone was staring at them. So many people had died in this war and all of them were staring at Peter but they had better things to do so they turned around to continue whatever they were doing before Peter arrived. He saw piercing blue eyes and disgust on Dumbledore’s face clearly before he returned to his old friends.

“I-I never m-meant for any of y-you to d-die,” muttered Peter, he was quite sure he was the only one who could hear. “I was– I was afraid and–”

“We all saw you Wo-Peter,” said James softly. “Your hands didn’t even shake as you killed Cedric. You didn’t even hesitate.”

“Where did we go wrong, Pete?” asked Lily her eyes shining with tears. “What did we ever do to you to deserve what we got?”

That was the thing. Peter was telling the truth, he never wanted any of them to die. He only wanted to survive. He was afraid of dying, it wasn’t the Dark Lord he was afraid of, it was the power he held over Peter and his Lord was the one who killed him in the end. 

“We would have died for you,” said Sirius. He looked much younger than the last time Peter saw him, much more alive than he was the night Peter betrayed him one more time. “We would have done anything for you but you decided that you had to take it into your own hands. We thought you cared for us the same way we cared for you.”

“I do, I did,” stuttered Peter in response, looking at his hands in desperation. “I never did any of these things because I hated you. I just– I wanted to be brave like you but I was terrified–”

“That’s all you say Peter,” interrupted Sirius. “Don’t you think we were all scared?”

“You decided not to be the Secret Keeper because you were afraid but I–”

“DON’T YOU DARE BLAME THIS ON ME!” roared Sirius as he launched himself to Peter. James knowing his brother like he does held him by the collar and calmed him down with words Peter couldn’t hear. Sirius was burning his skin the way he looked at him. “Don’t you dare blame this on me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t do it Wormtail?” asked James making Peter flinch at the mention of his nickname. “You know I wouldn’t have forced you to do it.”

“I wanted to be b-brave like y-you lads.”

“When did we ever make you feel like you weren’t enough? You were brave enough, you didn’t have to take on a responsibility that you thought you couldn’t handle.”

“I don’t–”

“When did I made you feel like handing me and my family over to our murderer would be the solution?”

“You n-never–”

“What was it that I ever did to you that made it alright for you to bring your Dark Lord back from the fucking dead Peter? WHAT WAS IT?”

“I d-don’t– I’m not–”

Everyone was just staring at Peter and letting James talk, he was seemingly the calmest in all of them. His anger had always been silent. Peter had seen him get this angry once in 5th year and once during an Order mission. His anger was the worst out of all the Marauders and Peter never in his life thought it would be directed at him. 

“Peter I swear if Harry turns up in this wretched place I will make sure I end up in the same hell as you just to watch you burn.”

War changes people. It had changed Peter, too but James Potter, the boy he never thought was capable of feeling hate towards someone other than Slytherins was planning to watch Peter suffer. 

“P-prongs, ple–”

“How dare you call him that?” yelled Lily. “You think just because you are dead, everything is forgotten? You are not their friend anymore Peter, you are just a filthy Death Eater who wasn’t even worthy of getting the stupid Dark Mark. Good job proving everyone at Hogwarts right.”

“Lils..”

“What, James?” she shot back. “Everyone knew he was the different one in your little group. He proved them completely right because of his fragile ego, just because he couldn’t be like you–”

“Lily, enough.”

“I can’t even look at him, I’ll be over there if you need anything.”

Lily left with one last pitying look at Peter and Cedric looked around in hesitation trying to figure out if he should leave, too but he looked determined to stay. 

“I have one question Peter,” began Sirius with the calmness of a madman. “Why didn’t you let us turn you in that night? This could have ended a long time ago.”

“They would have k-killed me.”

“Well, you are a murderer.”

“I’m not– I was AFRAID!” shouted Peter out of the frustration he was feeling in his gut.

“So you acted on rat instinct?” questioned Sirius. Peter knew he was going to get somewhere from this.

“I- I just wanted to live–”

“So the reason you made me think Remus was the mole when it was actually you,” he sighed, his perfect eyebrow arched like a bow ready to throw it’s arrow and Peter knew he was going to hit bullseye. “It was all instinctive and not at all a plan?”

Peter didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how to defend himself. Not that he needed to anymore, Sirius couldn’t hurt him but still, he wanted his friends to see they would have done the same as him. However, he wasn’t sure anymore. He wasn’t so sure that they would have chosen the easy way out like he did but he had to live, he had to survive no matter what it cost him. 

“You have always been a shit liar, Peter,” said Sirius and came closer to where Peter was standing in his glass chamber. “You took everything I had, EVERYTHING! I trusted you, you bloody rat. I trusted you with my secrets, I trusted you with my brother’s life. I wish we had never met you.”

Peter gasped in shock, it was such a simple sentence but it inflicted so many wounds. Never meeting the Marauders would mean losing the best 7 years of Peter’s life. 

“You let Remus have his transformations alone,” he spat. Sirius was never good at controlling his anger. “You let him rot on forest floors. You let him suffer for 12 years. Twelve fucking years, you let me stay in that– that place. You killed all of us without getting blood on your hands.”

Sirius walked away from Peter trying to steady his shaky breath. He was right, Peter had done all of the things he had said but Sirius never stopped to ask why he did what he did, if there was anything Peter could have said but then again, Peter understood that there was no explanation for what he did. 

As he was looking around, Cedric walked closer to him. Peter would have died another time if it meant not getting confronted by the golden boy because he didn’t have anything to say but he gathered what was left of his pride to piss him off enough so that he would leave Peter alone. He wasn’t ready to face that mistake.

“I-” started Cedric, he looked like he couldn’t find the right words. “How did you do it?”

“How did I do what?”

“Killed the spare.”

“You were never meant to be in the graveyard.”

“So it’s my fault you murdered me?” asked Cedric taking his chance to talk with him in private as James was talking to Sirius. “He called me a spare and you didn’t even think twice. How on earth was a supposed to know it was a Portkey to my death?”

“I think–” began Peter and he took in a deep breath as he ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t want to do it but the Dark Lord–”

“You weren’t under an Imperius Charm.”

“It wouldn’t have made a difference he would have killed me,” replied Peter as if that was the only logical explanation. “It was either you or me–”

“He was a bag of bones!” exclaimed Cedric. “He was nothing but a bag of bones and you were such a coward, you couldn’t even disobey that thing.”

“You don’t understand,” replied Peter with as much calm as he can muster. “His followers would have found me, I had to do it.”

“So you thought murdering a 17 year old kid can be justified because it was him or you?” demanded James as he pulled Cedric a little bit by his arm. “He was seventeen Peter. You hid from everyone else for 13 years, couldn’t you have hidden from them?”

No one talked for a while after that, Cedric went to join Lily as she watched over Harry. Sirius was walking up and down and James was just standing in front of Peter.

“We were twenty-one, Wormtail.”

“I know. I was, too,” whispered Peter in reply. “You have to understand James. I was young and afraid, and you know I never was the brightest–”

“But you were! You were smart and brave Peter.”

“Not like you,” he replied softly, feeling like he was back in the Hogwarts Express talking about their OWLs with the Marauders and James had reacted exactly like he did now. However this time he only shook his head.

“I didn’t deserve your betrayal, did I?”

“No,” mumbled Peter. “None of you did.”

“Then why?”

“I honestly didn’t think where this would go when I said I would be your Secret Keeper. You must understand that you trusting me with something like that was such an honour for me but in the back of my mind it was also a way out. I was always so terrified of dying in this stupid war.”

“We were all threatened,” reminded James staring into Peter’s soul. “I was marked for death Peter. You could have said you can’t do this and that you wanted protection and no one would have judged you. I always told you, you didn’t have to do anything you didn’t want to do.”

“But what would you guys have said if I left to go into hiding?”

“Nothing,” he replied. “We would have said nothing. We would have understood. I thought our friendship, our brotherhood was stronger than judging and plotting.”

“When he first found me I thought I was going to die but he saw right through me. I am not as strong as you are, I have never been. He knew how to manipulate me and I let him. It’s the rat in me like Pad–Sirius said. I could have told you but I was so scared and when you gave me that opportunity with your own hands, I was way too deep in to get out.”

“If you had a chance would you change what happened?”

“I would try to but I don’t trust myself.”

“I wish I could say I trusted you Peter,” confessed James. “I wish I could say with certainty that you would change what happened. I feel like you would only do it because you are dead now.”

“I- I understand that and I’m sorry.”

“Are you really?”

“I am Jamie,” began Peter, it was a hard thing to explain when you have betrayed someone as badly as Peter did with the Marauders. “I loved all of you but I just couldn’t bring myself to see that the consequences of the choices I make would be this severe. All I could think of was I needed to get out alive and I don’t know why I wanted to survive so much, I just did. I regret most of the things I did, I do. I would have given everything to be stronger than I was but that’s just who I was. You were the prince of the forest and I was a rat. I will never be as loyal as Sirius is or as protective as Remus is. I’m me, I’m Peter Pettigrew and I am what I am but I’m sorry for everything not that it would change much.”

“No, it doesn’t,” sighed James. “But I guess you saying you regret the things you did saves you from us.”

Peter felt a pull and James started getting further and further away. Sirius and Lily didn’t even turn around but Cedric gave him one last look before turning away.

“Goodbye Peter, I hope I never see you again,” were the last words Peter heard from James Potter. 

[jilylicious]

An aesthetic

Lily’s feet come off of the floor when James hugs her.

[jilylicious]

james

A son. A miracle to the Potter’s who had almost given up hope after trying so hard. A mess of a hair born in late March. It had been raining so hard, Fleamont had had the hardest time finding a cab to take Euphemia to St Mungo’s. An only child that begged for siblings so hard that it broke his parents’ hearts but instead of siblings they gave him everything else they could offer. They knew deep down they could never fill that hole for him but they did try their hardest so he would be the happiest kid on earth. They made him so happy that when they left him too soon, they didn’t have any regrets about him. The Potters knew they did the best they could. James had his father’s mind, her mother’s heart.

A friend. No one will stand before you and say he didn’t have his flaws but when he trusted someone, he loved them unconditionally. So when he met the three boys staying with him in Hogwarts, he immediately started seeing them as the siblings he never had. A werewolf who lost his ability to trust, a black sheep who lost his way and an outcast who had been bullied. The glue that somehow held these four very different characters together. Through thick and thin, fights and tears, blood and sweat. No one should forget there’s only so much one boy can do when the world is going to hell. 

A brother. Finally but at the expense of Sirius’ safety. When the raven haired boy showed up at their door, he didn’t know he would soon have a brother after 15 years of waiting. Not that Sirius was anything else. The relationship he had with Sirius couldn’t have been described by simply saying “best friends”. As James hugged the bruised shell of Sirius, he knew now he could say he had a brother out loud. A brother that would stand by him no matter what. A brother who in the end stood by him as he lost his parents one right after the other. Sirius was his lifeline, not of his blood but somehow closer than that.

A fighter. The first one to join the Order of the Phoenix. Not a fighter per se but a true protector. Someone you can trust to watch your back no matter what. The amount of times he pushed Sirius out of harm’s way or redirected a spell heading towards a fellow member had gotten Moody’s interest. He would even try to stop someone from doing harm even if it meant him getting hurt. Moody told him he was acting stupid sometimes, James didn’t give a damn. He had better plans for James in the future but he had a family to protect. 

A lover. Giant Squid’s biggest rival. Whenever he thought about that memory, he realised again and again how he was being everything he hated. He spent months learning how to be Lily’s friend and nothing else. When Lily had forgiven his past behaviour, James still hadn’t forgiven himself. He was content having Lily around as a friend if it meant that or nothing. He missed all the signs because he didn’t expect the red haired girl to ever have feelings about him that way. Others didn’t miss the signs but they still couldn’t believe it. He used to get offended by that but he would be the first to accept that he is not worthy of Lily’s love and she would be the first to let you know that he indeed is. He loved her as hard as he possible could have as he had seen from his parents.

A husband. At the age of 18! Sweaty hands holding a ring in the light with one trembling knee on the ground. James had gone to several missions and had never been so afraid in his life before that. The idea of Lily Evans saying “no” to him, which would have been the expected answer if you asked anyone that knew them, became the biggest fear of his life for three seconds. The rest happened in such haste but it was the most glorious day of his life with a wand hidden in his inner pocket. Just in case. Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Euphemia’s ring, Minerva’s gift, Mary’s earrings and blue flowers. He would soon call the love of his life Mrs. Potter and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

A father. Same hair, same shine to his eyes albeit a different colour. It’s war time and everyone has an opinion about having a baby in the middle of it. James cared about none of that when he saw the small hands and a full head of hair of his son. He didn’t care if there was a war going on right next door. He knew that he would give anything to see his boy happy and healthy never knowing what he would have to sacrifice just to keep him alive. He was making a thousand plans in his head about future kids and about the places he would take his son, none he managed to fulfil.

Hopeful if nothing else. Teary eyes and empty hands to face a horror that no one should ever be faced with. Happy birthday James Potter. May we all learn from our mistakes and grow like you did. May we be as hopeful and as brave as you are to protect the ones we love. May we all love and be loved the way you do.

[jilylicious]

The first time he says “Lily” it’s in their first year, first time around the gigantic Gryffindor table. It’s the first time they meet. It surely won’t be the last time he says her name, they have seven years ahead of them.

The fifteenth time he says “Lily” is in Flying Class. He usually refers to her by her last name, he doesn’t care if she likes it and she doesn’t care if he does. It’s a mutual agreement. As Lily’s feet take off the grass, James is the first one to congratulate her.

The 68th time he says “Lily,” is in their second year and he needs his ink back. Lily is known to get lost while she is writing a Charms essay, she gives it back with a small smile.

The 97th time he says “Lily” is in their third year, he almost never uses her name anymore, they don’t talk much anyways. She finds him obnoxious, he finds her magical. it’s stupid, they are young.

The 103rd time he says “Lily” is when he is unable to control his anger. It’s the first time he hears the word Mudblood. Lily gives him stares as cold as ice before she deals with Lestrange herself. It’s in their fourth year, they barely talk now.

The 159th time he says “Lily” is in front of everyone but it’s barely a whisper. Snivellus glares at him and others snicker. It’s right after an exam, he makes a fool of himself. They stop talking. He doesn’t think he will ever say her name again.

The 171st time he says “Lily” is when he is drunk with the other Marauders. They really don’t speak anymore, not even for common courtesy. She hates him and he deserves it. He takes another shot of Firewhiskey and talks about how the drink reminds him of her hair.

The 202nd time he says “Lily” is the first day of seventh year. He acknowledges her presence, gives her a stern nod. They are Head Boy and Head Girl after all. She gives a shy smile. Something’s changed.

The 209th time he says “Lily” he is having a hard time breathing. His mother is gone and he is in shambles hiding in Minnie’s class, crying. He hates it when people see him crying, she holds his hand.

The 257th time he says “Lily” it’s between short breaths. Her nails in his back, his fingers in her hair, his arm around her arched back. It’s both urgent and relieved. Everything becomes undone.

The 268th time he says “Lily” it’s followed by a whispered “I love you”. She is taken aback but she says it back and he thinks “this is the happiest moment of my life.

The 308th time he says “Lily” it’s a scream as he catches her after she is struck with a curse. His scream rips through the night as he carries her while sending curses left and right. He is not one to leave his friends behind but for her, he doesn’t think for a second more.

The 315th time he says “Lily” is when he asks her to marry him. She says “yes”, it’s a miracle. He can’t believe it, he can now call her by her name forever.

The 329th time he says “Lily” is when they are getting married. Wands hidden in their robes and eyes teary, they say “I do”. He still can’t believe she said yes. He calls her by her name more often now, “Evans” doesn’t have the same ring to it anymore. 

The 389th time he says “Lily” is when her belly is as big as her and she says it’s time. 

The 391st time he says “Lily” is when he holds his son for the first time. He is crying happy tears for the first time in many months.

The 476th time he says “Lily” is when he tells her they have to go into hiding. He is the one to give her the news that their son is marked for death. It breaks his heart to a thousand pieces but he stays strong for them. 

The last time he says “Lily” he knows, he knows it’s the last time he says her name. He savours it, he lets it hang in the air for a moment before he lets it go, then he puts himself between him and them. No one says “Lily” like him ever again.

[lovely-jily]

timeline

FIRST YEAR:

James was horribly irritating and childish, and Lily was impatient.

He hexed people in the hallways, and she scolded him for it- but of course, it only reinforced his behaviour. He'd do anything just for some attention from her. She hated his friends, and she hated who Sev was around them. He was rude and used various colourful words and hexes to express how much he loathed James's group of friends. 

That year was the first time she had heard the word. One of the older Slytherins said something about what he would do to "one of them" if they touched him. Sev just looked uncomfortable and wouldn't make eye contact with her. But just because it was his house didn't mean anything to Lily. He was her friend. 

SECOND YEAR:

James was still irritating and childish, and she was still impatient. Lily insulted him so much in Charms that he and his friends thought it would be funny to keep track of the insults and then hold a vote on their favourite later ("James, if I wanted to hear a twat's opinion, I would've asked." won, but was followed closely by "I find jinx's less irritating than you.”)

Sev's hatred for him only grew. He snickered every time James got in trouble and always sent sparks at Peter's ankles, saying he loved "watching the fat rat run." Lily didn't have time to scold him before James threw the first punch.

She watched Sev make more friends, the type of blokes who would bully the muggle-borns mercilessly. While she never saw him do it, she never saw him put a stop to it either. But he was her friend, her lifeline in a world that made her an outcast. And no one really understood her like her friend did.

THIRD YEAR:

James seemed to hit peak immaturity this year, making an absolute fool of himself just to get a sliver of Lily's attention. If she had known that, perhaps she wouldn't have bothered with her reactions, but "Merlin, he really just drives me absolutely bonkers."

One day after Transfiguration, she overheard James getting a lecture for doing Remus's homework for him. She listened to James say something about "his condition", and, after a moment, McGonagall simply sighed and gave him an extra assignment, which Lily found odd. McGonagall was never that lenient, and everyone knew James loved Transfiguration. It was barely a punishment.

When she explained that to Sev, he said something about how strange it was that Remus got sick so often, but Lily was lost in thought about the peculiar situation and couldn't get past how kind it was of James to risk getting in trouble for his friend. This was one of the first times she had anything actually positive to say about James Potter.

This year was the first time that she was called the word. It was from one of Sev's friends after Potions one day because Slughorn had praised her potion; apparently, his friend didn't like that. "It can't be that good if a mudblood like you made it," he had said before he spat at her feet. "Seems like it would be rather dirty if you ask me."

Sev didn't say anything, and she didn't want to talk about it. But they didn't hang out around or talk about any of Sev's friends after that.

FOURTH YEAR:

James had relaxed a little bit. Lily heard him say something about Sirius moving in with him, and she sat next to Remus in Charms. She found she liked him, as he seemed calmer than the others. A part of her heart hurt for him, seeing the scars on his body. She had heard about the horrors of abusive homes from Sev and decided to never cause any issues for Remus.

Severus didn't like this; he didn't like her hanging around any of Potter's friends. Lily could see why he was frustrated by it and had to explain that she wouldn't ever consider being friends with Potter, Remus was different than the rest of his friends. That was the first time Lily questioned her friendship with Sev, and things weren't really the same after that.

It only worsened when Lily defended Remus when Severus's friends made fun of his scars. She was called that word again, and Severus again didn't say anything. He didn't talk to her for a week because she "chose their side over his". She just sighed and complained about him to her other friends.

That was also the year someone wrote "MUDBLOOD'S BEWARE" in dark red paint in the girl's bathroom on the fourth floor. Lily threw up when she saw it, and James was furious when he found out, confronting Severus and his friends about it. Everyone knew it was one of them. Sev threw the first punch that time.

FIFTH YEAR:

Lily and Remus were made Prefects. Remus told her his secret mid-year, but she had known the truth for a while. They worked so closely together with their duties that Lily considered him one of her best friends. She found that she sympathized with him more than she thought. She knew how it felt to not fully belong in the wizarding world for something you can't control.

That was the year that James saved Severus's life. Sev was far too nosey about where Remus was going once a month. Lily's heart fluttered a little when she heard about it but suppressed the feeling. Sev was incredibly upset by the whole thing, but Lily assumed it was because it proved James wasn't completely and entirely bad like Sev was convinced he was. 

That year Lily noticed James had started to change a bit. She liked how he joked and interacted with all the first and second years; he was very kind and patient with them. She also started to get closer to Sirius and Peter due to her friendship with Remus. Severus hated that she was friends with his friends, but Lily clarified that he couldn't control who she hung out with.

That was the year that the whole incident happened. Lily wanted to say that she was surprised he called her the word, but she wasn't. She knew who he was and what he said when he wasn't around her. That's when she decided she was done with Severus Snape and their exhausting friendship. That was the type of betrayal a person can never come back from. 

Any credit James had scarcely collected over the past few years had gone down the drain. He knew that and more than understood why. So when Lily asked for space, he respected her wishes and left her alone. As torturous as it was, he knew she didn't want anything to do with him, and he hurt her. He needed to be better.

In that same vain, a rumoured war was becoming a reality. There were much more significant issues at hand, and it was high time for James to grow up. So he did. 

SIXTH YEAR:

James was different this year. He didn't insist on making an utter fool out of himself, and while Lily knew that she asked for space, she found herself missing him. Maybe she was still healing over Severus, or perhaps she saw how James had grown up. He held himself differently and stopped making people laugh at the expense of others. That was the year Lily saw the difference between James and Severus Snape.

Because while James had done plenty of wrong things, he recognized it and stopped. He made a change for good. Severus could not.

She walked in on them having an argument one night. Severus was saying something about how James didn't deserve her, and to her surprise, James agreed. But the tension grew like it always inevitably did, and Lily snapped when Severus mentioned Remus's condition with a greasy sneer, saying that he could expose him at any second.

Lily threw the first punch that time, telling Snivillus to move on and grow the fuck up.

That was the year that they found a girl's body at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower. A third year, a muggle-born. It was said that she accidentally fell, but everyone knew she was pushed. Rumour was that one of Snape's friends had bragged about it before she was even discovered.

A full-blown war was in rage outside the walls of Hogwarts, and for the first time in her life, Lily started to question her safety at the school.

That was the year that Lily found comfort in James. And that was the year that they all agreed that they would fight.

SEVENTH YEAR:

Lily was made Head Girl, James Head Boy, and she could not be more pleased about it. She had begun to not only enjoy James's company, but she soon started to crave it. They fell in love as the leaves turned brown, and everything seemed to fit perfectly together for the pair of them.

She didn't see much of Snape, nor did she spend much time thinking of him. She knew what type of man he was and didn't want to waste time thinking about something that no longer mattered to her. He had chosen his path, and she chose his. 

After two students and a professor didn't return from the summer holiday and then one student from a trip to Hogsmeade, the school went on lockdown for the year. Students weren't allowed outside of the school, even on holidays. The school had already lost too many innocent people.

The students lost over the summer were a pair of siblings, one a fifth year and one a second. Their family was deemed "blood traitors" and was taken care of accordingly. The professor taught muggle studies and was tortured into insanity. Those three were the victims that made the Lestranges the most feared of the Death Eaters, second to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named himself. The student lost over the first, and only, trip to Hogsmead was one of Lily's friends, Marlene McKinnon. The last thing Lily saw from her was her bright smile as she headed back to The Three Broomsticks to fetch her forgotten cloak. Lily insisted that she come with, but Marlene wouldn't let her. Oh, don't be silly, I'll only be a moment, she had said. You go on.

Lily never fully healed from hearing the screams.

She never entirely stopped screaming her sleep, covered in her own sweat. Marlene, without even knowing it, had saved her life.

While that year held the most fear and pain, it was also the happiest for Lily. She had her friends and the boy she knew she would spend the rest of her life with. They learned to enjoy the little things when they could (like stealing a bottle of Firewhisky or throwing parties in the Common Room at any excuse that they could), and Hogwarts had a new feeling of unity that year. All the students were kinder to each other, and the teachers were more lenient. Their exams were easier, and James was ecstatic to see the quidditch stands the fullest he'd ever seen them. The students also took their magical education much more seriously, as they knew they were lucky to even be in school and may have to use their education and skills sooner than they thought to fight in a war that none of them asked for.

Lily made sure to never take her life for granted, and while as terrible as the war was, she swears that it was the thing that made her last year at Hogwarts both the hardest of them all but also the most enjoyable.

Because it taught so many teenagers, teenagers who had their childhoods ripped away from them and were forced to grow up in a moment rather than years, to never take anything for granted. It taught them to love harder, laugh more, and search for happiness. It brought people together in ways that people never could have guessed. Yes, Lily hated the war more than anything, but she refused to let it destroy all forms of happiness.

So, when she looked back on Hogwarts for the last time, she decided not to dwell on the sadness and fear that seemed to encompass her and her fellow graduates. Instead, she chose to remember the good times it gifted to her and how it moulded her into the person she grew up to be, and she was proud of who she was. She was proud to be a muggle-born.

So, with an odd amount of certainty, she grabbed James's hand, and together they both stepped forward into the unknown.

Although, at their core, James was still irritating and somewhat childish at times, and Lily was still impatient.

[lovely-jily]

okay, hiii, i'd first like to apologize for the hiatus I've been on, my life has been a bit crazy anyways, idk if anyone remembers but i posted this a while ago and decided to revise it so if anyone wants to reread it, or even read it for the first time, you can read it here or on ao3 much love xx