Delicious Catastrophes

Experimenting with food. Whether cooking in college, cooking for a crowd, or both, deliciousness is always the hypothesis to be tested. New recipes weekly!

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Kolaches!

Korean-Inspired Pork

1 Tb gochujang

221 g/1 c ground pork

21 g/~2 Tb pineapple juice

129 g kimchi, chopped

1 Tb sesame oil

139 g yellow onion, finely chopped

0.25 tsp white pepper

1 green onion, thinly sliced

Cook all ingredients except green onion in a skillet until pork is cooked through and flavors meld. Stir in green onion, then remove from heat. Set aside to cool.

Fall Pork

235 g/1 c ground pork

156 g/1.25 c apple, chopped

86 g/1 c mushroom, chopped

153 g leek, sliced into thin half moons

0.5 tsp salt

1 Tb butter

1 Tb flour

1 Tb bourbon

Cook all ingredients in a skillet until pork is cooked through and apples are slightly tender. Remove from heat and set aside to cool.

Apple Pie

253 g/2 c apple, chopped

0.33 c fresh lemon juice

0.25 c brown sugar

0.5 tsp vanilla extract

1 Tb granulated sugar

a couple shakes of cinnamon, pinch of nutmeg

a few drops of almond extract

pinch of salt

Cook all ingredients in a saucepan, stirring constantly, until all sugar is dissolved and apples have softened somewhat.

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Vegan Buffalo Dip

Ingredients

145 g (5 oz) raw almonds

110 mL (~4 oz) water

2 Tb nutritional yeast, divided

3 medium cloves garlic

110 mL (~4 oz) Frank’s RedHot

110 mL (~4 oz) sunflower oil

1 Tb lemon juice

0.5 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 425°F.

Roast the almonds for 8 mins (until slightly darkened, as in picture above), then allow to cool a bit.

Add roasted almonds to the bowl of a food processor, and pulse until coarsely chopped.

With the processor running, add the water. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, and process until a rough paste forms.

Add garlic and 1 Tb nutritional yeast to the bowl.

Turn the motor back on, and add about 3/4ths of the sunflower oil (~3oz) and 3/4ths of the Frank’s RedHot (~3oz). Process until mostly smooth.

Add the rest of the nutritional yeast, sunflower oil, and hot sauce. Process until smooth.

Briefly pulse in the lemon juice and salt.

Serve with crunchy veggies, crackers, or pretzels, and garnish with chopped cilantro or parsley!

[deliciouscatastrophes]

Mushroom and Fish Melt with Old Bay Garlic Dip

Ingredients

1 fillet of white fish (cod, tilapia, pollock, etc)

2 white/cremini/baby bella mushrooms, sliced very thin

2 green onions, chopped

1 slice of good melting cheese

chives for garnish/finish

Sauce Ingredients:

1 single-serve container of Greek yogurt (the thicker, the better)

0.5 tsp toum

0.75 tsp lemon juice

0.75 tsp Old Bay seasoning

1.25 tsp capers, finely minced

pinch of salt

Protocol

Sear one side of the fish fillet over medium-high in a non-stick skillet with the mushrooms. Flip and break up the fish as you continue to cook the mushrooms over medium heat.

Meanwhile, combine all ingredients for the sauce in a small bowl and toast the hoagie.

When the mushrooms are browned, turn the heat to low and use the spatula to form a shape roughly the dimensions of the sandwich. Place the cheese on top, and cover pan with a lid until the cheese melts.

Spread the yogurt mixture on the hoagie and top with the green onions. Carefully transfer fish and mushrooms to the hoagie with a spatula, and garnish with chives and more yogurt dip.

Enjoy!

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Fish Cakes

Ingredients

~450 g/1 lb fish fillets (tilapia, cod, pollock - something relatively mild and inexpensive)

~12 stems of thyme

1 lemon, sliced into rings, plus more for serving

2 green onions, chopped finely

30 g/~1 oz freshly grated parmesan

25 g poblano pepper, chopped finely

2 tsp malt vinegar

1 tsp toum, or 2 very finely grated garlic cloves

1 heaping Tb sour cream

0.25 tsp Old Bay seasoning

Protocol

Preheat oven to 425°F/220°C. Line a rimmed baking sheet with tinfoil. Lay down two slices of lemon for every fillet. On top of these, place most of the thyme. Then, lay the fillets over the lemon and thyme, and drizzle (or brush) with olive oil. Season generously with salt, pepper, and the remainder of the thyme.

Bake fish until all fillets reach an internal temperature of at least 145°F/63°C. Allow fish to cool almost completely while resting on the lemon and thyme.

Place cooked fish in a mixing bowl, and break up with a fork into flakes. Mix with the remaining ingredients until you have a loosely sticky mixture.

Form the mixture into cakes of whatever size you like: small for appetizers, big for patty melts, etc. They won’t hold as tightly as a meatball or hamburger.

Heat butter in a skillet over medium heat. Gently press cakes into the pan a little after they’ve sat for a few moments. When golden brown on one side, carefully flip to brown the other. It helps if you leave plenty of room to maneuver between the cakes!

Eat with your favorite dipping sauce (try ours here) and plenty of lemon wedges. Enjoy!

[deliciouscatastrophes]

Semolina Skillet Pizza

Nasty heat waves inspire some peak lazy cooking. It's too hot to hit the grocery store, and definitely too hot to use the oven. Delivery is just never as good, costs extra money, and your stomach demands food NOW, not an hour from now.

On top of all this, you really, really want pizza. 

This dough can be made either directly in the skillet, or in a separate bowl.

Dough

0.5 c semolina

0.25 c water

1 tsp bacon grease

Toppings

spinach

2 garlic cloves, sliced very thin 

crushed tomatoes

goat cheese

2 slices of cooked bacon, chopped

any other cheese

fresh-grated parmesan

Procedure

1. Mix dough ingredients and knead until it comes together into a fairly smooth ball. Cover and let rest while you prepare toppings.

2. Heat a tsp of bacon grease in the skillet, and spread around it with a paper towel. Press the dough out into the skillet, and turn the heat up to medium-high. 

3. Crisp up the bottom, then flip the disk over. Turn the heat down to medium-low.

4. Top the crust with the crushed tomatoes, spinach, then garlic, goat cheese, and bacon. Finish with the freshly grated parmesan, and cover the pan. 

5. Cook until all the cheese is melted, remove the lid, turn the heat up to high to finish crisping up the bottom.

6. Slide pizza out of the pan, grind fresh pepper on the top, and cut into slices!

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Boozy Fun For Summer: Master Post

 1. Unconventional Cubes

Sometimes, you just want your drink to stay cold, without the flavor being watered down by plain old ice. Take advantage of the produce of the season! Freeze strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, peach wedges, pineapple rings, rainbow carrots! When the drink is gone, you have a cold, boozy snack.

Herbs on Ice - an excellent way to prune that overactive basil plant. You'll get a subtle herbaceous flavor to your drink as it melts. Garnish drinks with basil flowers! Tear up mint leaves and freeze into cubes for your next mint julep. 

Juice it up - freeze juice in your ice cube tray. Try mango with rum, lime and lemon with gin, orange juice with prosecco, tomato juice and hot sauce with vodka. Frozen juice cubes are a fun way to deconstruct your drink and make for awesome presentation.

2. Infuse Your Booze

Get up, crush fruit, add booze. Be prepared for cocktail hour with a vitamin boost.

Summer Cherry-Infused Vodka

Stone Fruit-Infused Vodka

Crush ~1.5 c of segments of your favorite stone fruits (e.g. peaches, plums, apricots, nectarines) into a jar, making sure to catch the juice. Sprinkle with kosher salt and agitate with a spoon to further break down the fruit. Add 1 c vodka. Let step for an hour at least, then pour over ice and top with tonic water.

3. Keep your liquor in the freezer

It's a tried and true method for a reason. Do not try with beer or wine! The alcohol content isn't high enough to keep it from being ruined.

4. Ice the tea

Try cold brewing and normal brewing, and see which result you like best! To cold brew, put an infuser or several bags of your favorite tea into a water bottle, jar, or pitcher. Fill the container with water, and then let it sit overnight in the fridge. From there, you can use it as a mixer or freeze it into cubes!

5. Concentrate your flavors 

Small amounts of syrups and reductions can make a big impact on the flavor of your beverage, and making your own is incredibly simple. Try these:

For plain simple syrup, simply mix water and sugar in a 1:1 ratio in a small saucepan over medium heat. Stir until all the sugar dissolves, then simmer for 2-3 minutes. Remove from heat, cool completely, and store in the fridge.

Jalapeño Simple Syrup

Balsamic Reduction

Cilantro Lime Simple Syrup

Lemon Thyme Simple Syrup

Try out these tips with some cocktail recipes

Special thank you to my cocktail beta tester, Jules...who is currently passed out.

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@flag-fighter

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Johfra Bosschart

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Enter the gateway into Halloween.

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[scificovers]

Amazing Science Fiction Stories, June 1960. Cover by Leo Summers.

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Rumiko Takahashi (Creator of Inu-Yasha, Ranma ½, Urusei Yatsura and many more series) circa 1986.

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Tomasz Alen Kopera ,

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These octopus kites are insane!

[riflegarden]

today at work a man brought a pug in on a leash and that pug was so excited and happy to see me it was as if we were old friends who havent been in contact in 7 years i felt so loved in that moment

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today a bassett hound came in and wagged her tail so furiously all of her loose skin started to jiggle and she was so pumped to see me i want more dogs to come into my store they make my life whole and worthwhile

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I’m so glad this came back cause a golden retriever named Milly came in today who put her paws on my register counter and wanted to say hi to me and I loved her so much and I scratched her ears and she gave me that classic dopey dog smile 

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yesterday a girl came in with her boyfriend and in her hand was a tiny tan colored dog that she told me was a chihuahua/pekingese mix and he had a severe underbite and one little canine tooth was poking out and his ears were like bent at the tips and i immediately commented on how amazing he was and she goes omg thanks do you wanna pet him and i was like there is literally nothing more i want to do while being on the clock right now than to pet this incredible tiny dog and he was so sweet and licked my hand and his name was spike 

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yesterday these people came in and put a blanket into one of our shopping baskets and it started to move and i was like omg whats in there and they set it down on the counter and the blanket kept moving and the suspense was so good like is it gonna be a cat is it gonna be a ferret maybe a lizard and then the smallest chihuahua ive ever seen in my life popped her little head out and licked my finger and i died 

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A baby german shepherd named Jonathan came in tonight and since i was on the sales floor and not behind a counter i say to the owner omg can i pet this angel and they were like yeah of course and i crouched down and Jonathan ran into my arms and almost tripped over his puppy feet it was 12/10

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TODAY a german shepherd named london grabbed one of our lanterns off the shelf and was carrying it around and the owner was like, “london no, we’re not getting that” and gave him the merchandise she was buying instead and he carried it to me and dropped it on the counter at my register and i could have cried 

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I want everyone to know both London and Jonathan (Jonnie) came in the other day on the same day. Jonnie is much larger since the last time I saw him but still sweet and still acts like a pup, he barked at something in our footwear department. London still likes to carry things and put his paws up on my register to say hello, he carried the insoles his owner bought out the door for her. Also thanks for the notes, it’s nice to see so many people appreciate dogs on here. Another reminder, I see a lot of dogs because I work in a sporting goods store in a strip mall next door to a Petco and we absolutely allow dogs in our store. I live in a mountain town in Colorado and dogs are common here because there are lots of fun outdoor stuff to do with them. 

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A sheltie in a Petco shopping cart came in yesterday and her name was Sadie and she was so excited to say hi that she jumped out of the cart, onto my register counter, but she missed and Mufasa’d her way to the floor, but she was okay. The owner just let her sit on the counter and she was very well behaved and she gently smelled every item I scanned and also my hand. She was obsessed with her neck being scratched. 

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today a black lab name paxton came in off leash and he jiggled his way into our back room because the door was open and i yelled He Is Employed! and told his owner that we’d be happy to hire him and then eventually he made his way up to the front by himself and into the register area behind the counter and now he’s my new manager 

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my boss sent me this picture she took from the window at work today after i left. its not a dog, but it is a goat wearing a cowboy hat. 

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today a 12 week old dichromatic pitbull puppy named Spot was so tired that he was splayed out on our tile flooring, all four legs sticking out while his people tried on shoes. i asked to pet him and he wagged his tail and rolled over so i could scratch his belly

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Today my boss found a lost little Australian shepherd puppy without a collar running around the parking lot and caught her and brought her in the store and I played with her on my lunch break and she was so cute and so sweet and was probably no older than like 9 weeks. Eventually her people came and claimed her. Her name is Panda and she’s in the process of being trained as a service dog for an elderly veteran with one leg.

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today a bengal kitten named strider came in and he licked my finger. hes not a dog but hes is very important 

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(via krinndnz / clickhole)