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Sade Olutola
dirt enthusiast
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styofa doing anything
tumblr dot com
shark vs the universe
Show & Tell
Origami Around
sheepfilms
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Cosimo Galluzzi
DEAR READER
@theartofmadeline
noise dept.
cherry valley forever
NASA
tannertan36
occasionally subtle
taylor price
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@delyth0810
summer blues.
Summer is the hardest time for me.
This sounds odd, but as I’ve got older the more it has depressed me. When I was young, summers where the happiest time. [insert nostalgic fuelled dreamscapes here]
But now its just pressure, and today the pressure is mounting. It’s been a fairly steady few months but as soon as the weather warms and the sun shines I descend beneath the duvet.
I look outside and…
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Staring down a well.... ness PLAN.
It may seem like a mammoth job, and you may feel like your staring down a bottomless well, but creating your very own wellness plan is essential if you are currently depressed or struggle with low mood.
I don’t believe recovery is possible without it. Great news is you may already be doing it, it just needs fine tuning or setting in stone. More often than not just writing it down can be all you…
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CPNow thats more like it.
I have a new CPN, and she is great! I shall name her Curls.
Curls is funny, intuitive, smart, witty, but most of all I actually feel like she cares. She doesn’t look at me with pitying eyes, so I want to listen rather than punch her in the nose. She moves around the room describing things with her whole being, she is a man standing on the edge of a bridge about to jump, he then realises death is…
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Don't be a coward.. moo cow.. ard
Don't be a coward.. moo cow.. ard.
Someone at work today told me;
Suicide is a cowards way out
I wanted to scream. How about you?
Basically everyone at work now knows that I have depression. Which is fine, I mean I did broadcast it all over the internet! ha.
So I have received many opinions from fellow colleagues, which up to now have all been good and positive and a great help. It has made my work environment pleasant and…
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The mouldy cup.
Today is a bad day, I know this because I have been drinking out of a mouldy cup since this morning, and I only just realised. Its 13:29 and my senses have only just started to kick in. I have only just started to become aware of what I am doing. My body shut down yesterday afternoon, It went into default depressed mode. So this means I basically stop. I stop thinking and doing. It mostly happens…
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Why don't you manage you'r moods?
Last week I started a “Managing moods” course. I was referred by my CPN Giselle. It seems her only resource, so I was hoping it would be good.
It’s being run by a group called “Coleg Gwella” who are apparently a registered charity now, although they have hardly any online presence, which is odd. Although I think this has more to do with lack of funding rather than their own lack of…
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Sayonara! see you later... adios!
Giselle is no more!
She’s being moved on, so I didn’t even need to sack her. Not that I could have sacked her I don’t think, but still. I don’t think I’ve ever been more relived about anything before. She was starting to become quite detrimental to my recovery. Our last meeting exaggerated this somewhat.
She once again talked me around in circles. She would start on a topic and if I didn’t answer…
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Mistake number 1
Right then, where to begin. Some people reading this are probably thinking how stupid are you? To be honest I feel pretty stupid. Not in a self deprecating way.. That’s not healthy. Just in a well that was silly let’s not do that again sort of way. I came off my meds, as you may have read. But now I’m back on them. I literally felt as if I was coming off something sinister. Ive seen trainspotting.
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Fighting against the nausea.
Today I am fighting the nausea. I have decided to completely stop taking my medication. This could be the worst or best decision, who knows right now. I will appologise now if this post is slightly incoherent, I am not quite myself, but feel like writing needs to be done. I need to document this.
My body feels like its going into crisis. Every bodily function is freaking out. The nausea is ok if…
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Motion
Motion http://wp.me/s5l7Ei-motion
Poetry in motion, but I see motion in the poetry. I like to be in full motion, I like to be in flux. What does that mean when I lie really still on the floor and all I see is my breath in the darkness misting up my glasses. All I hear is the sound of my heart beating slower and slower, and all I can wish for is that it would stop.
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The trounce.
i have barely brushed the surface of my tumultuous turbulent passionate irregular journey. i can see the shock in your faces as I press by you on the bridge and stand on the edge and look down without fear.
I look back at you and regulate my breathing. In through my nose and out through my mouth, I taste salt and notice the wretchedness that seeps down my face. Oh, wretched face.
what catastrophe…
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CPNaaaaat
I had another meeting with good old Giselle a few weeks before Christmas. I took my mum with me this time, a bit of moral support. We had the idea of going in and making some demands. I wanted to take control and hopefully gain something useful from the meeting. Our main goal was gaining some sort of psychiatric support, i.e. counselling.
First things first we addressed my medication. Finally she…
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For you.
I want to live. Not just exist but really live. Not just animate, but concious. Concious of colours and feelings like reds and blues and greens and feelings of happiness and effectual potent bliss.
I am not living. When I am drowning in my thoughts, and anticipations. When my cognitive rationalising falls apart. The rumination process begins. The slippery slope into aphotic abyss.
Im enjoying…
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A Christmas message from Rik Mayall to us.
A Christmas message from Rik Mayall to us.
I have neglected my blog for a while now, as I have been busy. I have so many stories to tell, but they will have to wait until the new year. I heard some words today that struck a bloody sinewy cord, right in my cerebral cortex, the like of which has not been seen for a while.
Let me give you youngsters a present. Five mantras to carry with you throughout your lives:
Number 1. All men are equal,…
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Most hopeless day of my life.
This title probably sounds rather dramatic. I assure you it’s not trying to be.
Before this day I had a little bit of hope. I put my trust in the system, because that’s what we do. When we have a medical problem we go to the GP. We trust that its the best thing to do, and consider ourselves lucky that we can do so. For me visiting the GP has been the worst decision of my life. I hope this view…
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Crystal Ball Thinking Worksheets
This is outlines one of the key elements of cbt. Predicting the future. It something everyone does, but can be a really damaging way of thinking to someone susceptible to anxiety or depression. You end up convincing yourself of your predictions. And this stops you from doing the things that make you happy.
