Hi and welcome to my little internet cave! I'm Demi (they/them) and I'm a silly enby who's stuck in the endless battle against the part of me that cringes.
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Requests closed [Rules]
-I identify both as non-binary and demigirl but my pronouns don't change! [In italiano però preferisco i pronomi maschili]
-I'm, sadly, italian, so if I make any mistakes it's my bad, considering that the only thing that my god awful country left me is this language (don't be afraid to correct me)
-I am misophonic (what a cross to bear) and autistic!
- I'm 24, misogyny gives me dysphoria, so don't be fucking weird about my age or I'll block you
-I like video games, anime, books, and basically I'm your average nerd that would want clone copies of themself just to consume more media, and occasionally I write stuff/fanfics
-Some of my favorites are Pikmin, Sonic, Splatoon, Hulk, everything monster related, Jpop and Jrock; even if recently I caught the Deltarune brain tv worms
-My blorbo is Devil Hulk, and some of my f/os are Sonic, Kasumi Yoshizawa, Dark Danny, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, and more recently Mr Ant Tenna!
-POC, disabled and queer people are all welcome here!
-Will definitely post some suggestive or NSFW content, but I'll tag it accordingly! [#suggestive and #❤️🔥❤️🔥 for explicit content, they both have a warning in caps on top of the post]
-my AUs are tagged as #television in your head au (tenna self ship in immortal hulk basically) and #strong and fierce au (immortal hulk platonic self ship) You can read a little more about them here!
i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users
“Media can be factually made with a child/family audience in mind” and “media for children/family audiences can be well made and engaging pieces of art” and “if you are an adult you should have a more diverse media diet than what exists to target an audience of primary middle and grade schoolers” and “it’s okay to watch a cartoon as an adult and enjoy it” can coexist.
Everyone asks boring questions about people’s characters, like “what’s their favorite color” or “what’s their favorite food” and not “What does their Psychonauts Level look like?”
Hey if you See This can you reblog this or comment on this with a character you headcanon as aromantic, asexual, or both. It can be canon it can be founded on absolutely nothing I just need more aroace stuff on here #yay
the problem with visual novels is that they are novels, but they are almost exclusively sold on video game distribution platforms, which means that they're novels being read by gamers who are by and large entirely unequipped to critique that medium
So I started Hollow Knight Silksong because I wanted to get into something Hollow Knight related again.
The first impressions so far are pretty positive.
But they WERE NOT KIDDING WHEN THEY SAID THAT IT'S MORE DIFFICULT THAN THE FIRST (enemies who deal double damage in the first fucking areas????? excuse me?????)
I will get used to it with more practice but for now I'm having fun!
I like the nodding emoji 🙂↕️ for how at peace it is. when I use it I feel like a wise sage who has reached an enlightened truth of the universe. mmmm 🙂↕️ monkey
I kindly ask for a fic where Tenna (regular flavor) helps reader (gn) through a particularly bad mental health spot. As in, severe self loathing and blaming themselves for everything. But also reader being there for Tenna when he has his troubles.
Source of Strength
wc: ~1.5k (Pt. 1), ~1.4k (Pt. 2). Tenna/Reader, second person POV. self-loathing, comfort (Pt. 1), reverse comfort (Pt. 2), heavy fluff.
a/n: I spoiled myself with this one and therefore I'm spoiling you guys – two fics in one request, essentially. the first part will be Tenna comforting Reader, and the second part will be Reader comforting Tenna. that last part in the req set off a whole other fic idea in my head, so here you go!
You're well aware that you've been struggling as of late. Regardless of what you do, whether it be indulging in your interests or hobbies, or simply trying to rest, nothing seems to be helping. When you're not resting, your mind keeps insisting that what you're doing isn't good enough, will never be good enough. And when you are resting, it switches to berating you about being lazy, that you'll never amount to anything if you don't get up and do something.
No matter what you do, you can't win. You want to hope that these feelings will pass, but as each day stretches on, that hope dwindles more and more.
You try to pretend you're alright so you don't concern anyone, but that unfortunately doesn't last very long. The second you step into the green room for tonight's show and your eyes flit over to where Tenna's waiting for you, he's clearly taken aback by something upon seeing you, if the rise of his upper frame is any indication, however it shifts to what almost looks like a bittersweet smile. He adjusts his height closer to your own as he steps closer.
"C'mere, sweetheart." He carefully reaches for your hand, and when you don't oppose, frankly confused by his change in behavior, he tugs you closer to him. Using his other hand to hold your head close to his chest, he releases your hand with the other to wrap it around your waist.
Immediately, your eyes sting with tears. Still, you try to brush it off, hesitantly raising your hands up to his arms as you ask, "What are you...?"
"You've got that glooby look in your eyes, _____. I know it when I see it."
...Is it really that obvious?
Your fragile act breaks more, yet you try to maintain your composure. Despite the faint sound of music playing through the overhead speakers, it's not enough to cover up the fact that you can still hear some of Tenna's staff idling around in the green room. It's embarrassing, but it's almost impossible to stop the tears building in your eyes. You quietly sniffle.
The fact that Tenna immediately noticed your somber mood makes you feel ashamed, yet...understood, in a way.
Whether he seems to take notice in the way you curl into him out of embarrassment or not, he pulls away just enough to take your hand again. You can't bear to look up at him again – not when he figured you out so easily – so you keep your gaze angled towards your hand entangled with his, despite how your vision begins to blur. "Let's go to my office, okay?" He offers.
You don't trust your voice by now, so you simply nod. Thankfully, that's enough for him.
Guilt begins to creep along your skin as you follow Tenna's guidance through the hallways. It's your fault that the two of you are diverting elsewhere now, instead of just starting his show like usual. It's your fault Tenna has to comfort you while you're like this, because you couldn't pull yourself together well enough to pretend like everything's fine. Surely he's just doing this out of pity, or some kind of obligation.
It's your fault. It always is.
Upon entering his office with the door shut behind the two of you, Tenna brings you back in for another hug. Again, you hesitate to reciprocate – you don't deserve this. You're being selfish, forcing all of his attention on you like this. At the very least, you will yourself to rest your hands near his waist, just so he doesn't get the idea that you're upset with him in particular; you're not keen on adding another problem to the pile.
"...Talk to me?" Tenna prompts carefully. "What's got you so down, darling? You know I'll do anything to fix it, right? I already miss seeing that smile of yours."
Another pang of guilt stabs into your chest, and you feel your heart lurch uncomfortably in response. It's difficult to murmur through the growing lump in your throat as you choke out, "'M sorry."
"Hey, h-hey, don't be sorry." Tenna's voice shakes a little with worry, one of his hands sliding up to the back of your head like before. "It's okay, you're okay. But...if, if there's anything I can do to make it better, then please tell me. I can always put one of your favorites on for you, if you'd like. We can stay here, just the two of us, for as long as you need to."
As helpful as spending time with Tenna like that can usually be, right now...you know your mind will just go back to berating you for being lazy, on top of the guilt you already feel for interrupting his schedule like this. You shake your head against him, muttering, "You're busy."
"Not anymore. My star needs me, so everything else can wait. Mike can just put on a rerun for me."
"No, wait—"
"_____, sweetheart, I don't want you onstage when you're feeling like this – so down in the dumps. I promise it's alright, they'll understand."
Unfortunately, that doesn't help, as you start to feel that sting in your eyes again. You're interrupting everything just because you're in a bad mood, and now his staff is going to have to deal with the consequences too. Your voice wobbles harshly when you try to apologize again, however Tenna quietly hushes you partway through and gives you a gentle squeeze. It's nice, enough that you're able to raise your hands to his shoulders to finally reciprocate the hug.
Part of you still feels as though you don't deserve his kindness. But with the way he holds you like you mean something, everything to him, that dwindling hope you had before about these feelings passing is starting to come back, albeit slowly. You want to hope that you'll be okay – for now, you just hope that Tenna can help, despite how your mind aggressively opposes the idea.
You sniffle, one of the tears lingering in your eyes slipping down your cheek and onto his suitcoat. As you try to pull away to wipe your eyes, Tenna's faster, moving one of his hands to cup your cheek. The silk of his glove is soft against your skin as he gently swipes the lingering trail away – he's more gentle with you than you would've been with yourself.
All you can do is eye the dark spot on his suitcoat, still too ashamed to look towards his screen again. "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart." He assures you right away. "You're just feeling exceptionally glooby right now, but it's okay. I'll do whatever it takes to make you smile again."
"...But I stained your suit."
"Oh trust me, this thing's been through much worse. Remember that stunt I told you about, when I covered myself in gold paint?"
You don't have any kind of remark for that, though you do recall the event in question. He went on for ages about how long it took to get all the paint off, and just how peeved his dry-cleaners were with him after that stunt. If they had to deal with getting gold paint off his entire suit, then some tear stains are probably trivial to them.
You're taken out of your thoughts by the feeling of warm static against your forehead. Your cheeks flush a little, even more so when Tenna tells you, his voice achingly gentle, "I love you, sweetheart. Whatever pesky little thoughts are going through your head right now, please don't pay them any mind. You're still my sweet starlight, and always will be, no matter what. Okay?"
"...Even when I'm like this?"
"Especially when you're like this. Even if I can't get you to smile for me soon, and this gloobiness insists on being so stubborn, then I'll just be even more stubborn by sticking by your side until it goes away! I know you'll be okay sooner or later, if I have anything to say about it!"
Something about his peppy energy returning and his silly approach to the situation is enough to get you to crack, just a little. You let out a quiet huff, one corner of your mouth curling just slightly, and Tenna immediately latches onto that. "See, we're already making progress! I'm so proud of you, _____!"
You purse your lips for a moment, feeling a slight churn in your stomach over his praise; it feels...undeserving, to you. "I haven't even done anything..."
"No, you smiled! Granted, it was small, but I still saw it!"
Tenna moves his other hand to cup your other cheek now, holding your face in his hands as he gently nuzzles his screen against your head for a moment. He giggles, clearly delighted, "At this rate, you'll be smiling and laughing again in no time!"
...It's hard not to believe him. Maybe you'll feel better sooner rather than later, thanks to him.
If there's one thing you know about Tenna, it's that when he's in a bad mood, the whole studio is affected by it. So when you arrive at the studio tonight and hear some of his staff sighing with relief at your arrival and muttering aloud, "You're finally here," you already know something's gone wrong, and that they've left him for you to check on.
After inquiring his whereabouts, you make your way to the C-Rank room, where he'd apparently decided to hide out for the time being. You easily spot the water cooler towards the back of the room, with no one occupying it, but it takes you a moment to find the showman, ironically enough, until you glance over and notice him sitting in the front corner of the room. Immediately, you register that his stature is much smaller than your own right now, and he has his knees pulled to his chest, his screen dark and faint trails of luminous static leaking from the bottom corners and down his frame. His antennae hang pathetically over his screen, and his plug-in cord is snaked over the top of his golden dress shoes.
It's hard not to feel pitiful for him, despite whatever's upset him.
Whether he's noticed you yet or not, you aren't sure. Regardless, you're careful as you step closer, ultimately deciding to take a seat on the floor next to him. He visibly tenses a little, judging by the rise of his padded shoulders, but otherwise doesn't acknowledge your arrival.
It must be really bad, then.
You're aware it's redundant, but you ask anyway, "...Are you okay?"
There's a long stretch of silence, until Tenna sniffles quietly. His voice is compressed and shaky as he murmurs, "...I'm not glooby."
"You could've fooled me." You attempt to remark lightheartedly. When Tenna gives no response to that, you decide to try a different approach. "Do you...wanna talk about it? About what happened?"
"...I'm losing touch, aren't I?" The tone of his voice is so startlingly serious this time that you can't help feeling a slight chill for a moment. You want to ask what he means, but Tenna starts going on a tangent right away, releasing his hands from where he's had them wrapped around his knees to gesture at the air in front of him. "I mean— The ratings don't lie, I'm— I'm outdated! I'm nothing at this point! I can't keep the audience entertained anymore, and sooner or later I'll...I'll be—..."
Tenna lets out a heart-wrenching hiccup, choking on a sob and raising his hands to his screen. His rambling turns incoherent, due to his overwhelming emotions and his voice glitching as a result of that. Carefully, you scoot closer, enough for your arm to nudge against his. "Hey, hey, don't think like that, Tenna. You were so excited about the ratings last week, weren't you? If there's a dip in them this week, then that just means we try to figure out what caused it and work from there."
"W-We did the sa—ame gigs we alwa—ays do, _____," Tenna's voice breaks several times in between his sobs, "and it's ju—st not enough anymo—ore! At this rate I'm go—onna get thrown awa—"
"Shh, no you're not." You gently hush him, reaching over to wrap your arm around his backside. "You're not going anywhere, Tenna – not if I have anything to say about it."
While you're unsure if he believes you – or is even willing to listen right now – he still reaches over to you, now that you're touching him directly. His grip on your sleeve is desperate, yet you don't comment on it, quietly helping him settle sideways across your lap. He's so small right now that he's able to lean his head against your chest, and though he manages to get a few tears on you, you pay it no mind, despite the tingling sensation it leaves.
Tenna grasps the hand you offer him like a lifeline, while you use the other to run along his back, in an attempt to comfort him. "Y-You don't thi—ink I'm old news, right? You're not t-tired of me?" He whimpers through his sniffles.
You respond easily, leaning your head down to rest against his, "I think you're still plenty entertaining, Tenna. I could never get tired of you."
"You're just s-sa—aying that."
"I'm not. I always have a lot of fun with you when I guest-star, I promise. Maybe this is just a bad week for the show, and next week's ratings will get better, just like before."
"And what if they're bad again?! What if the—ey get worse?!" He cries, only to soften into weak sobs again as you gently hush him. His tight grasp on your hand squeezes you now and then, accompanied with a tingle on your skin when another one of his tears hits you. You simply squeeze his hands back when prompted, which seems to help, somewhat.
Once he's a bit calmer again, you answer, "Then we'll figure it out. Remember, you don't have to deal with this alone, okay? You've got your staff to help, and you'll always have me, no matter what."
"...Y—ou promise?"
"I promise. I'll always love TV, and I'll always love you. Don't forget that."
Tenna seems overcome with his emotions again as he starts to cry once more, though thankfully his tears come more passively than in full sobs like before. His cord finds your leg in the meantime, coiling around your knee with a gentle pressure that you disregard for the time being. You press your lips on the edge of the base for his antennae, eliciting a hitched breath from the showman.
You continue, your lips still barely gracing where you'd kissed him, "You'll be okay, Tenna. I know you will. You're very capable and witty when you put your mind to it, so I know that you'll get those ratings back up in no time. And I'll be right there to help you the whole time, okay?"
"...Oka—ay."
Good, at least you know he's listening to you.
"Can...Can you say it again?"
"Say what?"
Tenna squeezes your hand again, and feeling you return the gesture without a second thought seems to be the encouragement he needs. He sniffles again, but mutters, "...That you love me?"
You can't help smiling a little. After pressing another kiss to his antennae's base, you softly tell him, "I love you, Tenna. I'll always love you, no matter what."
It's impossible to suppress the giggle bubbling in the back of your throat when Tenna regains a bit of height, just enough that he can lean his head on your shoulder now. He seems to perk up a little at the sound of your laughter, angling his dark screen up towards you. Carefully, you release his hands, and when he doesn't oppose, you shift to hold the bottom corner of his frame, swiping the trail left behind from his tears.
"...Again?" He asks almost hesitantly.
This time, you move both your hands to tug him closer, giggling again when he lets out a small, surprised noise but returns the hug as best as he can in this position. You kiss at the side of his frame now. "I love you."
Another fraction of height returns; by now, he must be close to your height, with his head above yours whilst seated in your lap. He audibly flusters a little upon realizing, yet you hold firm and squeeze him gently, earning another clipped gasp.
Looking up at him finally, like you're used to, you're greeted with the faint reflection of yourself in his screen, but you still smile for him. "I love you, Tenna."
...Slowly, his hands grasp at your sleeves with a similar intensity as before. A couple more tears stubbornly slip down his frame, and after another sniffle, he leans down enough to rest his upper frame against your forehead. "...Thank you. I love you too, sweetheart."
You know he'll need some more pampering before he's ready to show himself to his audience, let alone anyone else, but you don't mind in the slightest. For now, you're more than content to stay here with Tenna, making sure he understands that you want to be there for him, no matter how glooby he gets.
