Gail, I've been asking this question of creators because he's such an interesting guy, but how did you first meet Stan Lee?
I get kind of choked up for a number of reasons with this story. I’ve met Stan several times. It’s always been emotional.
The first time was in a panel at SDCC. It was on lgbtq characters in mainstream comics. I was fairly new to the topic. It was going well, and then Perry Moore, a wonderful writer who also produced the Narnia films, crashed the panel unexpectedly. And he brought Stan Lee with him. It turns out that they were working together to produce a film version of Perry’s novel, that featured a gay superhero.
We all made room, hey, it’s Stan Lee, and they announced their project. During the panel, I was too intimidated to even really LOOK at Stan. It was too surreal.
According to Perry, Stan asked him, “Who is the best writer on the panel?” and Perry was a fan of my work, and he said it was me. So Stan came over and talked to me, out of everyone there. I was pretty stammer-y, it was just too weird.
And here’s the weird thing, what he said to me really did change my life.
Now, keep in mind, Stan was being STAN LEE during the panel, the whole EXCELSIOR! thing, you know. Great fun to watch, but it’s definitely part of his mystique.
So he came up to me, and was smiling, being STAN LEE, and asked, “So, what do you do?”
And I had no idea Perry had already recommended me, so I blushed and stammered a bit and said, “Oh, I’m just a writer.” For the life of me, I couldn’t even remember to tell him I had written for Marvel for a bit.
And this odd thing happened. The STAN LEE character dropped away and he looked me dead in the eyes, VERY SERIOUSLY, and said, “Don’t EVER say you’re ‘just’ a writer.”
Then ten seconds later, the smile is back up, and he’s back to being Life of The Party Stan.
I was just befuddled. It totally shocked me, it was like getting a lecture from your principal. I had definitely suffered some from “what am I even DOING here with all these talented people” syndrome. Many, many creators I know struggle with this all the time, and I’m definitely one of them.
But after a minute, it hit me, he wasn’t scolding me, he was giving me quite possibly the best advice I had ever gotten, in the simplest, most direct way. He was saying, don’t minimize what you do, don’t apologize for choosing this career. I believe he was saying stand up straight and say it with pride. God knows, a LOT of people would love to write Deadpool or Wonder Woman, and may never get the chance. Stand up and be grateful, but also stand up and be proud of being a writer.
That changed everything for me. Until that point, I had really struggled with telling people what I did for a living. I would say, “Oh, it’s just comics,” or would avoid the subject entirely. Brian Bendis and Jeff Loeb and others had sat me down and tried to tell me that it was not endearing, it was bit insulting to the readers, but I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand that it was borderline rude, until Stan Lee told me in one sentence with the full weight of his personality and absolutely zero nonsense.
It’s not about losing humility, it’s simply about being proud of what you do, and not diminishing the readers who like my stuff. It’s about standing by your work and trying to do it in a way that seems worthwhile.
I never forgot it, it’s rare that I don’t think about it at least once a day.
So, here’s the thing about Stan Lee. Yes, he’s in his advanced years. Yes, you can complain about things he’s done or said, I’m sure, and I know not everyone is a fan.
But the guy who co-created Spider-man knew me for precisely fifteen seconds and knew to give me the advice that changed everything forever for me, with no clutter, or filler, in a way that I took to heart unlike everyone who had tried to tell me before. It’s like that M. Bison scene in the Street Fighter movie…to me, it was one of the defining moments of my life. To Stan, it was Tuesday.
But I’m glad I was there, that Tuesday (I think it was a Saturday, to be honest). He said a total of two sentences to me. But they were two sentences I needed to hear.
So I pretty much am in awe of the guy and always will be.
And thank you, too, Perry. You are much missed.
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