From the Desk Of The Derpy Zookeeper.

I take care of 81 animals for a small museum in the Southern United States.

[derpkeeper]

I got these multitools for my team because they look awesome. And because I knew if I only got it for myself, someone would borrow it... then lose it.

[babyanimalgifs]

[thewinterotter]

This is ridiculous, if you’re gonna tell me tumblr needs more pictures of baby owls you should include at least ONE picture of a baby owl in the actual photo set, come on, that’s just reasonable. The first one isn’t even an owl, it’s a doll. And as far as I can tell none of the rest of them are baby owls. They’re just SMALL owls, like burrowing owls, saw-whet owls, screech owls. IDEK if you have any idea how small owl species get but the answer is REAL SMALL.

You know how you can tell an owl is actually a baby? They don’t have an actual full set of feathers like literally every bird above. (Some of those like the saw-whet-looking one with the thankfully photoshopped hat on could be fledglings, but that basically means they’re about ready to leave the nest, so alllmost adults.) Actual baby owls either look like a weird little naked pink thing (like most other baby naked birds) when they’re first hatched, or when they’re a little older they become angry hissing ill-tempered fluffballs that will probably inhabit your nightmares. They’re like if Jim Henson had a super bad day and decided to get his feelings out with fiber arts.

Here’s what baby owls actually look like when they’re still babies:

Baby burrowing owl, good lord

Baby elf owl, genuinely a very smol. Adults are only like 5 INCHES LONG what even are elf owls, seriously.

Baby pygmy owl, such a tiny fierce killer, likes to be hand-fed by human servants

Baby screech owls, so fluff, such talons

Great Grey Owl with her babies, note the difference between adult majesty with penetrating stare and baby floof with penetrating stare still a work in progress, will be more intimidating with less fuzz

Baby barn owls, they will hiss at you like angry cats and when they’re adults they’ll fly around screaming like the souls of the damned

Great horned owl wants you to never talk to her or her fuzzy soccer ball son ever again

[babyanimalgifs]

LOOK AT HER EYES LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE LOOKS L O O K

[derpkeeper]

I want to love something as purely as the yellow one loves the blue one.

[derpkeeper]

Is anyone else's marketing crew the actual worst? Posting ancient pics of animals that have long since left or passed away... come on.

Why would you ask the team that actually cares for the animals about the content that gets sent out to the public?...

I know... that makes too much sense.

Ugh.

[uglydesign]

One step DIY 🕊

[derpkeeper]

Carolina Wrens... will nest in literally anything. 👍🏻

[derpkeeper]

When you can't sleep because of how much you need to get done in the next day or two... Nevermind my endless list at home of all the tasks that fall by the wayside since I am consumed by work...

[derpkeeper]

Appreciate Your Vets!

If you have to take your animals to an off-site vet, please appreciate all they do. Odds are they are fitting you in to a packed schedule, since exotic veterinarians are few and far between; and it's probably an emergency.

I've been building a relationship with our vet since April and today she and her crew looked super run down and tired. So while I was waiting I went and got some healthy and a couple of unhealthy snacks and put them in a basket for the staff. They were so appreciative!

Veterinarians have one of the highest suicide rates of all professions since they see much pain and death, and they love animals so deeply. I can only imagine their frustrations when people refuse to listen and let animals suffer. So trust your vet and appreciate them. Without good vets, no institution's collection can thrive.

[derpkeeper]

Program snek be like

[derpkeeper]

Mammal diets tied in corn husks- enrichment!

[oitnbgifs]

[hoovesandheartbeats]

Veterinary Acronyms

Acronyms are an easy and effective way (most of the time) for doctors to take quick and efficient notes, write prescriptions, and fill in histories. Here is a list of some of the more commonly and frequently used veterinary acronyms:

WNL: Within Normal limits

NSF: No significant findings

ADR: Ain’t doing right

NDR: Not doing right

SID: Once daily- every 24 hours

BID: Twice daily- every 12 hours

TID: Three times daily- every 8 hours

QID: Four times daily-  every 6 hours

PRN: As needed

QOD: Every other day

D/C: discontinue

q: every (q2hrs= every two hours)

prn: as needed

gt: drop

qs: quantity sufficient

AD: Right ear

AS: Left ear

AU: Both ears

OD: Right eye

OS: Left eye

OU: Both eyes

IM: Intramuscular

SQ: Subcutaneous

IV: Intravenous

IO: Intraosseous

IN: Intranasal

IP: Intraperitoneal

PO: By mouth

NPO: Nothing by mouth

PE: Physical exam

SOAP: subjective, objective, assessment, plan

BAR: Bright, alert and responsive

QAR: Quite, alert, and responsive

BCS: Body condition score

TPR: Temperature, pulse, respiration

HR: Heart rate

RR: Respiration rate

BP: Blood pressure

PLR: Pupillary light reflex

IOP: Intraocular pressure

CRT: Capillary refill time

MM: Mucous membranes

GS: Gut sounds

BM: Bowel movement

ICP: Intracranial pressure

CPP: Cerebral perfusion pressure

F/S: Spayed female

M/N: Neutered male

Hx: History

Tx: Treatment

Dx: Diagnosis

Rx: Prescription

Sx: Surgery

CBC: Complete blood count

HCT: Hematocrit

PCV: Packed cell volume

TP/TS: Total protein/ Total solids

CRI: Constant rate infusion

UA: Urinalysis

USG: Urine specific gravity

UTI: Urinary tract infection

URI: Upper respiratory infection

STT: Schirmer tear test

DIC: Disseminated intravascular coagulation, aka dead in cage

PU/PD: Polyuria/Polydipsia

CHF: Congestive heart failure/ Chronic heart failure

HBC: Hit by car

[montereybayaquarium]

Ever wonder what life is like as a cephalopod aquarist? 

Our Tentacles exhibition is the largest living collection on cephalopods on display in the world—and keeping up with its tenants is colossal (squid) amount of work! Take a look behind the scenes with our Squid Squad and find out what it takes to care for our cuttle puddle of cephalopods.

[wildlife-conservationist]

Your squid children are beautiful

[derpkeeper]

Monterey Bay is my dream aquarium to work at.

[webcomicname]

[mechanicalriddle]

petco email: “Here are some resources to help you take care of your new pet-”

me:

[derpkeeper]

When the cashier at the pet store tries to be helpful But you're like ...

Thanks sweetie

[dragonpaws]

I may have made tiny PB&J sandwiches for my roaches…

[derpkeeper]

❤️🙌🏻

[yeahponcho]

we are slaves to these creatures. mere plate wigglers so that they may decide to eat their greens.

[derpkeeper]

Me, 12 years old: hi, mister snake! Please don't bite me!

Me, 31 year old zookeeper: hi, mister snake! Please don't bite me!