lizard

they/them | rock out w ur cock out fr

[disarmedbyakiss]

not to be slutty or anything but i’d listen to your problems and run my fingers through your hair

[charaznablescanontoyota]

words of wisdom from wikipedia this evening

[ryannorth]

much to consider

[obi-waankenobi]

@vague-magnus-archives

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

my farming sim game will have animal butchery as a normalized part of the gameplay loop to act as a lightning rod to draw all the discourse and thinkpieces away from topics that would annoy me more

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

in my farming sim game that has animal butchery as a normalized part of the gameplay loop, shipped products will be sold on a weekly basis, not a daily one. you get a big windfall once a week and then you budget around that. if you want more money in the interim you have to go sell to the local merchants whatever products they specialize in.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

in my farming sim game, getting married to one of the townspeople will have a significant impact on your gameplay. if you marry the rival farmer, their smaller farm will be merged with yours. if you marry the town alchemist/doctor you get a buff to all your alchemy and you wake up from getting knocked out in your own home instead of their clinic. if you marry the priestess she uh, idk she does weather related divine magic for you so you can choose the weather, idk i haven't thought too hard about that one yet

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

my farming sim game will have a MILF you can actually F

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

these tags are probably a joke but genuinely i do think that more games with romance candidates in general should require you to at least be on friendly terms with their family/close friends before they will romance/marry you. so yes. romancing the MILF will require attending her kid's pretend tea party first. to prove you mean business

[queenlua]

all engineers are brothers (found attached to a steamship's engine):

1. 'The Squeak' apparently is originating from the Low Pressure (LP) valve. This is a large "D" slide valve with a lot of metal to metal contact. 2. We have inspected the valve, seat and LP cylinder and piston numerous times. We can find no evidence of rubbing, galling, burnishing, or any other sign of metal to metal contact. 3. 'The Squeak' is dependent on engine speed and temperature; as the engine heats up 'The Squeak' increases. Inexplicably, as the speed increases the sound decreases. 4. Suggestions about using WD-40 or needing sewing machine oil are not helpful. 5. If you wish to discuss 'The Squeak' with the Chief Engineer please donate $1 to The Squeak Abatement Fund to aid in construction of a new LP valve. If too many passengers speak with the Chief regarding 'The Squeak', the donation may be diverted to the Chief's beer fund.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[freakoutgirl]

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

[freakoutgirl]

and love..........

[important-animal-images]

[amongst-the-pines]

Become ungovernable

[alarajrogers]

That sign can't stop me because I ate it

[azatas]

my dad's wildlife photography would do numbers on here

[azatas]

ok permission granted everyone look at this fat sandpiper

[bonyassfish]

[what-even-is-thiss]

So I don’t play the sims super often so I didn’t know that evil sims can do an “evil workout” which seems to just be a normal workout except sometimes they pause to laugh maniacally.

[grungixfungix]

Devastated that rbs were turned off. I need this on my blog.

[iliothermia]

Given their presence in my childhood I really thought I'd run into one of these by now

[kaijuerotica]

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Your pets only love you because you feed them”

Yeah well that’s also how your relationship with your parents starts out but more stuff happens after that doesn’t it

[whiskerknittles]

Losing it over the “2 ingredient pie recipe” I saw on Instagram where the ingredients are 1. store bought pie crust and 2. store bought pie filling. GIRL THATS NOT 2 INGREDIENTS THATS A REGULAR PIE

[lastvalyrian]

1 ingredient pie recipe: buy a pie at the bakery

[should-be-sleeping]

[wellsbering]

imagine your ex who you haven't seen in a decade (since he stole your car) shows up at your house. in the car. the one he stole from you. it looks like shit. your ex asks you to fix the broken car. then he tells you that the hot girl with him and his buddy (the one that helped him steal the car) is his new girlfriend. she is a member of the royal family and she looks capable of murdering you AND your ex with rage alone. you try to say hi. she does not say hi. no one admits it out loud, but you get the feeling that they're all running from the cops and they all want to hide out in YOUR house.

this is what happened to lando calrissian in the empire strikes back

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.

Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.

No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Easy carb add on:

Cookie

Fruit (canned or fresh)

Chips

Piece of bread

Popcorn

Crackers

Easy protein add on:

Nuts

Spoonful of nut butter

Cheese

Roasted chickpea snacks

Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)

Small canned sausages or similar

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sugar in there.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

[saywhat-politics]