// SPN SPOILERS
i want to tell this bc i have nobady and i desperatly need to get this out off my chest...
when i was like 15 years old i found out about supernatural, i dont remember what season it was up to at the time but i found it by the firts episode of season 4, of course i was very interested in what was going on between the angel and the hunter like ??? an angel ??? hunters??? deamons?? this was my kind of shit, so i started watching it...
hear me out, my adhd has always made me hyperfocus on things obsessively, but like, whaterver i am so into it becomes my entire personallity, is the only thing im going to talk about, think about and relate everything (pls help), and this was the case with supernatural and ofc destiel
so, on the time, i watched all the espisodes and seasons, and this is when i say that when i was obsessed with destiel is becasuse i was. I was very happy with their moments and desperate at the same time for how obvios they were to me at the time. I even had a notebook where i write down every moment in wich destiel come out from season 4 to season 11, with minutes and seconds and everything (now that i think about it’s kind of creepy haha). And i left it at 11 because that’s where my hyperfocus ended.
the thing is that when i get something else that interests me, i totally lose interest in the one i was in, as if i had never liked them, i lose the emotios of passion i had in them and i am completly indifferent, and that’s what happened to me with supernatural. It is very common that this happens to me, it can last for month or even years, with destiel it was 2 years.
From time to time, i would hear about things that happened like Jack, Cas’ return, the cowboys episode, and of course, i heard about the ending... i remember my friends telling me that Cas had died this time for ever and i saw many memes and other things that the last thing Castiel said it was a confession, i swear i thought they were joking, even exaggerating. i mean... did they made desitel CANNON??? i was under no illusions and completely forgot about it...
UNTIL THREE WEEKS AGO... LIKE MAN RALLY TOLD DEAN THAT HE LOVE HIM, THAT IS DEFINITELY A CONFESSION LIKE??? THE TEARS?? “I CARED ABOUT EVERYTHING BECAUSE OF YOU”??? THE FACT THAT CASTIEL DIED BECAUSE THE VOID TOOK HIM AWAY BECAUSE OF THE DEAL WHEN HE ALLOWED HIMSELF TO BE COMPLETELY HAPPY AND FOR HIM IT WAS TELLING ALL THAT TO DEAN??? (im going to throw up someone get me a coke)
i just watched the whole tv show again and i was practically a new viewer because i didn’t remember anything, i even forgot that Chuck was god, Charlie’s death, BOBBY’S DEATH and a lot of things. i also undestood how marked Dean’s roles as Michael’s vessel and Sam’s as Lucifer’s were in the early seasons, like damn they really knew what they were doing
and im saying all this without being obsessive with spn anymore, i’m hyperfocused on something else so watching spn is like a tv show that i can watch as a normal person, but even i realized how obvious it all was between destiel, not to mention the spanish dubbing because that’s where i sream
well... for the time being i’ll keep crying for them and im going to read some fanfics or something, i don’t want to go to sleep thinking they confessed until the very last episode hahan’t