pairing: peter parker x reader
summary: the spell erased peter parker from your memories. but it didn't erase the way your heart recognized him.
warnings: fluff, strangers to friends to lovers again. (english is not my first language)
And you told me I loved you
Came back when it mattered, I saw you
He should be laughing, but all he wanted to do was cry.
Peter closed the door to his apartment so hard it almost shook the entire building. He was angry, and he had no one to blame but himself.
He had messed with the multiverse, and now the universe was messing with him by putting you in his path again.
Peter had seen you on the subway an hour ago. You had sat right in front of him, but not once you looked his way. And he couldn't bring himself to look at anyone or anything else.
You were different, and that made sense. You weren't in high school anymore. Your hair was longer, your clothes were more formal, and you carried a bag full of papers—from college or work, he guessed.
He started wondering if you were studying and, if you were, whether you had finally found a major that inspired you. Or maybe you'd found a job you were passionate about.
Were you still in touch with your old friends? Did you still talk to Ned? Did you still hang out together and ever feel like someone was missing?
Had you moved closer to his apartment? Was that why he had seen you for the first time in so long on the subway he took every single day?
He wanted to talk to you, to scream, "Hey, it's me. I'm here. I always have been." But he couldn't, and he knew exactly why.
Even though he missed you and still loved you.
Back in high school, nothing could separate the two of you—not even the crazy life Peter had been hiding from you. He wanted to go back to those days so badly... back to the day you met, to your first kiss, back to the couch in your living room where you used to cuddle until your little brother barged in, screaming that you were kissing and that it was disgusting. He even missed that little demon.
How much had changed since he left? Since all of you forgot about him? Maybe you'd grown into someone so different that he wouldn't even recognize you anymore, and that thought terrified him.
The subway arriving at the last stop pulled Peter out of his thoughts. You gathered your things, and as you did, your eyes met his.
You smiled right at him before stepping off the train, and Peter knew that some things never really changed.
But now he was going crazy within the four walls of his apartment.
Should he run after you? Try to explain everything? Would you believe him? Would it be selfish? After all, he would be putting you in danger again, wouldn't he? Would you remember that you loved him?
He had no idea what to do, and he had no one to talk to, no one to call for advice.
He was completely alone, and Peter had finally started coming to terms with that miserable reality.
But seeing you tonight... It brought everything back.
He loved you. In every single universe.
Life has ways of leaving those days behind
But seeing you tonight
I remembered I loved you.
Three days later, Peter was on the subway again, in the same spot and at the same time as always, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't looking for you.
Ever since he saw you again, he'd been torturing himself, replaying over and over the last time the two of you saw each other—back when you still knew who he was.
You found out he was Spider-Man at the same time as the rest of the world. You never had the chance to be angry at him for keeping it from you because he needed you more than anything. You kept an open mind while learning about the multiverse, heroes and villains, magic and superpowers, and honestly... all of that made a lot more sense than having to say goodbye to Peter.
"Please... you have to promise me. You have to find me, okay?"
"I promise," he lied. "I'll tell you everything," he lied again.
Peter threw his head back, letting it hit the subway window hard enough to earn a few strange looks. The guilt was eating him alive.
The last time you ever spoke, all he did was lie.
And now he was terrified that he'd let the opportunity to meet you again slip away. What if your paths never crossed again?
He stumbled off the train, planning to grab something quick to eat before putting on the suit and heading out to patrol for the night. He walked out of the station and started making his way home.
But before he could even take his keys out, your voice made him freeze in place.
"You really can't come? I could really use a little help right now."
He heard you loud and clear—not thanks to his enhanced hearing, but because you were only a few meters away, standing in the doorway of the building right next to his.
You were surrounded by a few boxes, your phone pressed to your ear, wearing the toughest expression you could manage. It was almost nine pm, and those assholes from the moving company had dumped your things and left without helping you carry the last boxes into your new apartment.
So there you were, trying to look intimidating enough that no one would decide to steal everything you owned.
"Fine. I'll figure it out. I'll call you tomorrow."
Peter understood the situation almost instantly, and before he could overthink it, he spoke.
If anyone had walked past the two of you, they wouldn't have been able to tell which one looked more uncomfortable.
Peter was mentally punching himself. What the hell am I supposed to say now?
Meanwhile, you stood there completely on guard, studying him, trying to decide whether he was a robber, a serial killer... or just a weirdo.
"I... uh... do you need some help?"
"My name's Peter Parker. I live here." He pointed toward his building and held up his keys as if they were proof. "Looks like we're going to be neighbors."
He didn't exactly look like a murderer... But he definitely looked a little weird.
"Wait... I remember you!"
Peter's heart stopped. "I saw you on the subway the other day. You were wearing a Daily Bugle press badge, right?"
"Oh... yeah." He smiled, half relieved, half disappointed that that was what you remembered. "I work there."
"You really want to help me?"
"Yeah. Whatever you need."
"Okay..." You pointed toward the pile of boxes. "You grab those and take them to apartment 3B. I'll stand guard out here."
You didn't actually end up doing that.
Peter insisted on letting you carry only the lightest box while he picked up the other five at once.
You stared at him. "So... do you go to the gym, or were you in the Marines?"
Peter helped you carry everything to your door. You didn't talk much, but there was a strange familiarity in the silence you shared.
You thanked him and promised to bake him something tomorrow as a thank-you.
Peter walked back to his apartment with his heart threatening to beat right out of his chest.
He'd made a promise he never kept. Maybe he couldn't give you your memories back... but he could give you new ones. And this time, he wasn't walking away.
Oh, the rivers I cried when we said goodbye
Wondering if I'd made it up in my mind
But now you look me in the eye
One week later, Peter couldn't hold it in any longer.
By now, the two of you had built something that almost resembled a friendship. You kept running into each other on the street, walking to the grocery store together, meeting on the subway before splitting up to go to work.
He'd learned that you worked as a receptionist at a doctor's office—the most boring job you'd ever had, according to you—but the pay was good. At the same time, you were studying for your degree. You were doing well in your classes and genuinely enjoyed them.
You often talked about a friend named Ned, someone you'd known since high school. Every time you mentioned him, Peter felt a bittersweet ache in his chest. It hurt knowing you two barely saw each other anymore, but he was glad you were still trying to stay in touch.
And your little brother was still a menace.
When he came to visit one afternoon, he found Peter standing outside your apartment and immediately accused him of trying to rob you. And he probably would've done the exact same thing if he remember who Peter was.
In his heart, Peter was ready to tell you everything. In reality... he had absolutely no idea how.
So he invited you over to his apartment, using work as an excuse. He told you he had to cover an event for the Daily Bugle and needed help choosing an outfit.
Of course, before you arrived, he made sure to hide anything that might raise questions. The old photos from high school. The box of memories he couldn't bring himself to throw away. Anything related to Spider-Man.
"I didn't picture your apartment looking like this," you said as you slowly looked around.
"Honestly..." you shrugged. "I'm not really sure."
You were lying. His apartment felt... sad.
There was barely any decoration. No framed pictures. No souvenirs. Nothing that hinted at who lived there or what kind of life they'd had. It didn't feel like someone's home.
It felt like a place where someone was simply existing.
"Should we grab something to eat first?"
"Yes, pleaseee," you begged.
Being around each other was so easy. You had only known him for a week, but it felt like a lifetime. And you wanted to know so much more about him.
"Tell me something about yourself," you said, crossing your arms and giving him your full attention.
Peter smiled awkwardly. "What do you want to know?"
"You look like someone whose favorite movie is Back to the Future."
Peter blinked. "Well, yeah... it is one of my favorites."
He laughed. "How did you know that?", he said it with a small ache in his chest.
"I don't know." You shrugged. "Lucky guess." You dismissed it quickly because you had no idea where that came from either. "And your favorite color?" You looked at him for a second. "Blue?"
Peter looked down. Blue and red, he thought.
"Why am I being interrogated?" he asked. "You should answer some things too." He said it knowing there wasn't much about you that he didn't already know.
"Have you ever been in love?"
"Damn... I was asking about colors, you know?"
He laughed, a little shy, but he had to ask. You guessing those little things couldn't just be a coincidence.
The spell erased everything about him... But what if some part of you still recognized him?
"Well..." You looked away. "I... I don't know."
"I've had dates, but... nothing that really meant something." You played with your fingers. "Sometimes it feels like I have been in love before. Like I know exactly what it feels like, what it does to you... but I can't remember who I loved. I remember loving someone, but I can't put a face to it. It's like I have all these feelings bottled up inside me, and I don't know where they belong."
Peter stayed quiet because he wanted to tell you everything. He wanted to tell you that he was the person you loved. That he was right there.
And you stayed quiet because you had never admitted that to anyone before.
"Okay..." You cleared your throat. "This is getting weird. Let's just pick your outfit."
You tried to bring back the funny and confident mood you both had been enjoying.
Peter agreed and guided you to his closet, where you started looking through his clothes. The pants were an easy choice. The shirt was harder, but eventually you found the perfect one. You grabbed it and showed it to him. "This one."
Peter looked at you, smiling. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this happy.
"You're surprisingly good at this."
You looked at him and felt strangely comforted. There was something about his eyes, something that felt like a sweet memory you couldn't quite reach.
"We still need a cute tie," you added.
You searched through the options before stopping.
"Oh, this one. Perfect." You held it up. "Blue looks good on you." The words left your mouth before you even had time to think about them.
"How do you know that?" he asked.
You froze. "I... I just know."
Peter watched you carefully.
"Careful with that one, it's important" he said, looking at the tie in your hands.
The one he had worn to your last dance together. The one he wore the night you both said I love you for the first time.
"I..." Peter swallowed. "It's hard to explain."
You handed it to him, but he looked at you shyly. "...I don't really know how to tie one."
You blinked. "Seriously?"
He rubbed the back of his neck with an embarrassed smile. "I usually wear clip-ons. That one was just... a nice memory."
A laugh escaped your lips. "That's... honestly kind of adorable."
"Please don't tell anyone."
You gently took the tie back from his hands. "Come here. I want to see how it looks."
Peter hesitated before stepping closer.
You draped the tie around his neck.
Your fingers moved almost automatically.
Left over right. Through the loop.
Peter frowned. "...You're really good at that."
You looked down at your hands. "I..." A strange feeling settled in your chest. "I don't even know where I learned."
Peter smiled softly. "Maybe your dad taught you?"
"No." You shook your head. "He never wore ties."
Silence filled the room. Your fingers were still resting against his chest as you adjusted the knot one last time.
"Have we done this before?"
A sharp pain exploded behind your eyes.
You gasped. The room blurred.
Images flashed through your mind faster than you could understand them.
Peter laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
May. Ned. The Statue of Liberty.
That night in the ballroom.
The dark blue lights reflecting across the dance floor.
Your hands fixing Peter's tie after learning it from YouTube right before entering because he had no idea how to do it.
The way his arms felt around you. His laugh.
His voice whispering that you were the prettiest person he had ever seen.
That you were the love of his life. And then...
The first time he said it.
The first time you felt like your heart was too full to contain everything you felt.
You stumbled backward, clutching your head.
Peter's smile disappeared instantly.
"Hey..." He reached toward you. "What's wrong?"
Your breathing became uneven. Your heart pounded so loudly it drowned everything else out. "No..."
More memories crashed into you.
The goodbye you never wanted to say.
Then Peter grabbed your hand. And everything came back. Every memory. Every moment.
Not at the awkward photographer from the Daily Bugle.
Not at the quiet neighbor from apartment 4A.
Your lips parted, but no sound came out. Tears filled your eyes before you even realized you were crying.
Peter didn't move. He looked terrified. Like he already knew what was happening. "...Please," he whispered.
Your hands trembled. You covered your mouth, trying to steady your breathing. "Oh my God..."
Another tear rolled down your cheek. "Peter..."
You said his name through your tears.
And he cried too. Because the way you said it...
That was the way you had always said his name when you loved him.
"You remember..." His voice broke.
You nodded. "I remember everything."
For a second, neither of you moved.
Peter let out a shaky laugh that sounded more like a sob.
"I was supposed to find you."
He shook his head. "No." His eyes dropped to the floor. "I promised I'd tell you everything... and then I walked away."
His voice cracked. "I lied to you, you forgot me."
"And I hated myself for it every single day."
"I didn't know what was missing."
You cupped his face with one hand. "But every day... it felt like there was this empty space inside me." Your voice trembled. "Every time something good happened, I felt this need to run and tell someone... but I didn't even know who." A tear slipped down your cheek. "When I was sad, I felt so alone. Even when I had friends and family supporting me, I knew someone was missing." A small smile broke through your tears. "And now I know why."
He wrapped his arms around you so tightly it almost hurt.
Like if he let go, he would lose you all over again.
You buried your face in his shoulder, holding him just as tightly.
"I knew it..." you whispered.
Peter pulled back slightly.
"When we saw each other in the subway... I knew it. I knew you."
He looked at you like he couldn't believe it. Peter gently cupped your face, pulling you closer. And then he kissed you.
Not because he was afraid of losing you.
Not because he needed proof that you remembered.
But because he needed you to know that this time...
Neither of you would let go.
Man, it's been a while
But I knew it, I knew you
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