[detectivebobo]

Call me bobo. Or detective chimp. Or don’t. I don’t care as long as you’re not bleeding on my coat.

Ex-circus act, current private investigator, occasional supernatural consultant. I’ve worked with Batman. Out drunk Constantine and survived a poker game with the Phantom stranger. I’ve seen some things. Some of them eldritch, most of them just ridiculous.

I talk. I drink. I solve crimes most people are too scared or too stupid to figure out. Magic’s usually involved. So is blood. Mine, usually.

Also, if you’re from the justice league, no I will not join the group chat again. I left for a reason.

Don’t ask me to do your homework. Don’t send me monkey memes.

(Okay maybe one or two if they’re really good)

[krypptonian]

☀️-- The cape fluttered in the evening breeze.

One last patrol of his own before bed. He trusted that unless something major happened in the middle of the night, the others would be able to handle Metropolis while he slept.

Clark landed gently on a rooftop here and there to observe the goings on. It wasn’t terribly late into the night, roughly 9pm, and after confirming that most things seemed just fine, Clark nodded to himself, feeling satisfied.

However, before he could quite slip back to his apartment, his ears caught something.

Open

[detectivebobo]

Bobo steps out from behind a rooftop vent, trench coat fluttering like it’s seen better decades. “Evening, Boy Scout. I’ve been tailing you for three rooftops.”

He squints up at Clark, unbothered by the height difference. “Why d’you do that thing where you stare off into the distance like you’re in a cereal commercial?” He taps the side of his flask. “And before you ask- yes, I’ve been drinking, and no that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Something’s off tonight.”

[krypptonian]

☀️-- Hearing the noise of something or someone approaching and turning to look had done little to actually prepare Clark for the primate detective. The dark figure made his heart pick up slightly until Bobo became clearer.

At first, Clark chuckled slightly. “Sorry I didn’t notice you then... and just tired. I was going to head back to my place for some shut eye after this patrol.”

Yet the more the detective started talking, he frowned a bit. He could smell the alcohol, it was strong enough.

Clark lowered himself after a moment. He could tell this probably wouldn’t be a short conversation, and he moved to take a seat right there on the rooftop. Not just for his own comfort, but he didn’t want to put too much strain on the chimp.

He rubbed his face, then dropped his chin into his hand. He scanned over the skyline. Not that he didn’t trust the detectives intuition, but — “You sure that’s not just the liquor making you paranoid, detective?” Clark’s voice was wearier than he would have liked for it to sound. Keeping up a dual life was definitely not exactly easy. His tone dipped slightly, “Seriously, though, what’s up, Bobo? Don’t see you too often so there must be something if you’ve been tailing me.”

[detectivebobo]

Bobo lets out a rough little heh, climbing up onto a nearby AC unit like it’s his personal bar stool. He caps his flask with a click. He adjusts his hat, giving the man of steel a sideways look. “Paranoid? Pal, if the day ever comes when I stop bein’ paranoid, check my pulse. I’m either dead or somebody slipped somethin’ into my bourbon.”

He watches clark settle and there’s a flicker… not softness, not quite, but something like respect for the tired man who sat down just to talk to a chimp. “Something’s been circling Metropolis the last couple’a nights. Not big enough for your danger sense to go haywire, but not small enough for me to call it coincidence.”

He taps his temple. “I can’t smell it, can’t hear it, can’t catch a breakin’ and enterin’ trail. But the absence of a trail?” He snorts. “That’s a trail in itself.” He pauses, eyes drifting across the skyline with a rare moment of seriousness. “You shine like a lighthouse in this town, big blue. Whatever’s creeping around out there? It’s not watching the city… it’s also watching you.”

[krypptonian]

☀️-- The cape fluttered in the evening breeze.

One last patrol of his own before bed. He trusted that unless something major happened in the middle of the night, the others would be able to handle Metropolis while he slept.

Clark landed gently on a rooftop here and there to observe the goings on. It wasn’t terribly late into the night, roughly 9pm, and after confirming that most things seemed just fine, Clark nodded to himself, feeling satisfied.

However, before he could quite slip back to his apartment, his ears caught something.

Open

[detectivebobo]

Bobo steps out from behind a rooftop vent, trench coat fluttering like it’s seen better decades. “Evening, Boy Scout. I’ve been tailing you for three rooftops.”

He squints up at Clark, unbothered by the height difference. “Why d’you do that thing where you stare off into the distance like you’re in a cereal commercial?” He taps the side of his flask. “And before you ask- yes, I’ve been drinking, and no that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Something’s off tonight.”

[vicsage-thequestion]

HA

Another detective ey? Nice to see a familiar face around

@detectivebobo

Bobo. Still solving crimes, or just stealing my spotlight?

Good to see you, furball.

You’re the only one in this city I can share a drink with without explaining why it’s in a paper bag. Don’t suppose you’ve seen my thermos? It started humming again.

[detectivebobo]

Still solving crimes, yeah. Someone’s gotta do the thinking while you’re chasing conspiracies.

If your thermos is humming again, either it’s haunted or you’ve brewed enlightenment. Either way, I’m not touching it.

[highlord-of-chaos]

You know kid, you’ve got the power of a god and the maturity of a hamster. That’s a hell of a combo.

Shame it makes you more dangerous than useful.

@detectivebobo

Pffft! Scared ‘cause I don’t dance to your dreary little rules, are you?

I’m useful when I feel like it, Detective Monkey-Man!

[detectivebobo]

You really are a pain.

[detectivebobo]

Detective Chimp, good to see you here.

You ever want to grab a drink and vent about the absolute craziness we’ve seen, I have plenty of whiskey and a strong pour.

@batwoman-or-whatever

That’s the best invitation I’ve had all week. But fair warning: once I start venting, you’re gonna need more than whiskey. You’ll need earplugs and possibly a second bottle.

[detectivebobo]

Hey Detective Chimp! I didn’t know you were on Tumblr too! Big fan here!

Hey babs.

Yeah. Turns out even talking chimps need a corner of the internet to yell into. But don’t get too excited, kid.

Most days it’s just me complaining about humans, whiskey and the sorry state of magic. But hey, glad to know I’ve got fans somewhere.

[detectivebobo]

If I get turned into a vampire, I’m biting all of you

[detectivebobo]

Hey, is it rude to talk about Donkey Kong with you? He might be offensive, so if you don't wanna, We can for get what I just said happened.

Offensive? To me? Kid, I drink with literal demons. Donkey Kong’s not even in the top ten on my insult list.

Just don’t bring up Curious George. That guy’s got a record.

[iheartdachshunds-blog]

f

[detectivebobo]

@gutter-mage69 take a look at this guy. Isn’t that your dog?

[detectivebobo]

I like bourbon flavored bananas. You ever tried one?

Yeah. Neither have I. That’s the tragedy.

[detectivebobo]

Why did it freak you out?

Are you just scared of cat?

That’s not fear. That’s a rational reaction to magical nonsense.

And that cat vanished into thin air. Caught me off guard.

[detectivebobo]

It plays with people and even lay on their shoulder sometimes.

Maybe you scared it.

I’m a monkey who’s stared down monsters and worse.

If anything, that cat’s the one who freaked me out. I’m pretty sure it was sizing me up, not the other way around.

[detectivebobo]

Teleportating cat?

Hm.

I think I've heard of that cat, it friendly and often take food from people.

That’s one word for it.

That cat’s got more mystery than Constantine’s tax history. Shows up, steals your food, blinks out like it’s late for a séance. If that’s friendly then I’ve been hugging demons this whole time.

Still…

It didn’t scratch, didn’t curse me and technically left my soul intact.

By our standards, yeah…guess that is friendly.

[yellowskinnedwackyman]

@@detectivebobo

Hey, don't get me started on that Klarion kid. That ego! I'm sorry you had to share a cab with that little-! I really hope Etrigan settles his hash permanently one day!

[detectivebobo]

Heh tell me about it.

Cab ride smelled like teenage angst. also teekl was staring at me like I was lunch. Had to hop off at the next red light.

And Etrigan settling his hash? I’d pay good banana money to see that.

[detectivebobo]

You got mugged by a cat??

Kid, when you deal with the supernatural, everything tries to rob you. Including your time and sanity.

That cat? It just borrowed my banana… indefinitely.

[detectivebobo]

What the weirdest cat you've seen?

I could ask the weirdest thing but honestly I only care about the cats you've seen in your adventures.

Weirdest cat? Well there’s klarions cat, teekl.

Oh- right. Forgot about the banana cat. I ran to this little furball in an alleyway. Looked normal first then poof gone. Poof back. No sound no warning. They were hungry so I gave em a banana.

Not sure if I fed a magical creature or just got mugged by a very smug teleporting cat.