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@determinedtostayhappy
I’m not saying it’s easy, but you will do yourself a lifelong favor if you get to the point where you truly believe incontinence is not shameful. Unpleasant, uncomfortable, inconvenient, sure, you don’t have to like it, but trust me, as a nurse who’s done incontinence care hundreds of time—it is, at its heart, whatever. It is what it is. As far as I can tell, there only two types of people: those who’ve shit themselves and those whose turn hasn’t come up yet. To exist is to excrete waste. There’s nothing to gain from feeling ashamed of how you do it. Pissing yourself is value neutral.
Merlin is trending so I want you all to know Leon is this to me
common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day
recent example. lady at my careers appointment had a post-it with her name on it stuck to the monitor, so i introduced myself by saying "hello, i'm eliot! you must be [name], it's nice to meet you!" and she stared at me as if i was the stupidest person alive and said icily, "yeah, i'm [name]. congratulations, you can read."
in bygone times this would have reduced me to a sort of quivering blancmange. thankfully i am now in a place where i was able to pull back, calmly evaluate this interaction, and say to myself "this woman should probably not be working in a customer-facing job"
important additions!!!!
watching my husband get diagnosed with and treated for sleep apnea over the last year was not the thing that radicalized me re: weight and healthcare but my goodness it has solidified my stances.
sleep apnea is more common in people who are fat.
society decided for some reason that this meant that being fat causes sleep apnea. its often difficult to get referrals for sleep apnea treatment if you are fat, because some PCPs will tell you try losing weight first.
turns out!! having untreated sleep apnea causes weight gain in a not-insignificant number of people. it also makes it fucking impossible for many people to lose weight.
my husband worked out the same amount before he got a cpap as he does now. there have been no major diet changes either. yet he has been losing weight -- and gaining muscle tone -- consistently since he started using a cpap in january.
also, his blood pressure -- which was high, which docs blamed on his weight/diet -- went down significantly within one month of starting cpap treatment, before his weight changed significantly.
ANYWAYS. this is getting long. two final thoughts.
- I Want To Strangle Medical Fatphobia With My Bare Fucking Hands
- if you are exhausted constantly for "no reason", and especially if you snore, you should probably ask your doctor about getting tested for sleep apnea. it is extremely common -- estimates are around 1 in 10 people -- and is also wildly under-diagnosed. like, some estimates suggest that 80% of people with moderate-severe sleep apnea are undiagnosed.
People existing with self-harm scars is not promoting self-harm.
People posting photos of themselves with scars is not promoting self-harm.
People making and sharing art of characters with self-harm scars is not promoting self-harm.
You're just ableist.
No body should ever have to hide their body or be told their existence needs to come with a trigger warning
Beautiful, you don’t HAVE to forgive them. You just can’t ridicule them after leaving for being “tainted” or “evil” or whatever the acceptable word is now. Do not punish the behaviour you want to see.
“But they should’ve known sooner” and we should’ve known sooner that Destiel was never gonna meaningfully happen outside of queerbaiting, what’s your point?
“I never want them near me” that’s fine, but you do realize to insult them, YOU have to get near THEM, right? Wouldn’t it be more conducive to what you want to just leave each other alone?
“What if one of them tries to approach me?” Then you block them online, or you keep the conversation clinical and polite irl. You do NOT take time out of your day to berate them for their old views. Your mother raised you better than that.
Preserving these tags, they're very correct
I would reblog this one million times if I could
As a matter of fact you can!
This is fundamentally how cults WORK, btw
Villainize outsiders, which can look different depending on the cult, make everything an us vs them situation. And then when those outsiders show themselves to be hostile (doesn't matter why) the cult is proven right all along on one of their foundational messages
just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one
This sounds like a lie made up by big neurotypical
"Why are my parents suddenly trying to be my friend now that I'm an adult??" Is crazymaking but putting together "oh, because children aren't seen as fully human so they're acceptable to abuse in a way that I'm not anymore. It was never actually about me as a person it was about children being property" may or may not feel Better. Makes sense though lol. Lmao. Everyone get more youthlib now
Like once you really understand Being A Minor as an axis of oppression & look at things through this framework a lot of really jarring things about the transition to adulthood start making sense. Like. Damn you guys told me there was something fundamentally wrong with me but it was just because I was a child this whole time? The fuck?
reblog to make prev stop having headaches
ID: A wheelchair symbol edited to have the anarchy A in the middle of the wheel. Text reads: Protesting as a Wheelchair User: Everything You've Always Wanted to Know about Accessibility and Direct Action.
new zine just dropped! this link has the version for print and the version to read online. should be screenreader accessible--let me know if the formatting is fucked up and you can't access the alt text.
feel free to share, print, and distro wherever <3
am i hot enough for you to ignore my Symptoms™️
My boss has a new boss who's been dropping in to check on how different sites are doing and I keep introducing her to the clients by going "This is Hank. Hank, this is my boss's boss, she's very important, please tell her nice things about me" and that's my big Autistic secret to professional networking. Letting them think you're funny
Other fun Professional Hacks:
"Networking" doesn't have to feel like one big huge façade of manipulation and lies. You just find people you like. The things you talk about don't even have to be related, you just gotta find people who you like working with who you might reach out to for questions or projects later.
You don't need to look professional and respectable or like a "real" adult. I like to just show up and make it clear I'm receptive to jokes and quirks and weird ideas, and the people who vibe with that usually come to me.
Introduce people you like to other people you like. Talk them up. You can tell your boss "This is Mike he kicks ass, he knows everything about this place, if you want to know something talk to him, if he ever quits we're stealing him"
I found can't think of a polite or socially normal way to say something, sometimes you can just say it like "I don't know if this is dumb or not but I don't know anything about this. Can you explain what you mean?", or "I was taught something different. Should I change how I've been doing it?". I've never had a negative reaction to this.
When in doubt, ask a weird question. "What's your favorite dessert food" is a p good one. Sometimes folks think I'm childish but at least they know what they're getting into and they know I'm not judging them.
Sometimes when higher-ups approach me with a stiff upper lip I'll test the waters with a "is your job as insane as it sounds" or something similar to remind them that I, a worker performing a role, and speaking to them, a worker performing a role. If they give a stiff and measured answer I stay distant and professional. If their performance cracks and their tone changes or they smile or laugh or give a funny reply I know I can relax and joke a bit too.
I still don't enjoy business stuff outside of the most basic day to day duties of my job and conventions n shit are still pretty draining but learning that other people are also following a script and the performance has room for "yes-and" type improv has helped a lot
i am half blind. on my eighteenth birthday, a freak accident left me with a slashed retina, a temporary eye patch and a permanent loss of 86% on my right eye. i don't talk about it much, and apart from the inability to drive a car, placing my notebook next to the desk instead of on it once in a while, and making me truly abysmal at beer pong, it has not impacted my life much.
except for the bittersweet fact that i can never show people how breathtakingly beautiful the world looks when you eyesight is fractured straight through the middle. i close what my opitician calls my good eye and the world explodes in colour, every pinprick source of light spreading out into iridescent flares into all directions culminating in bright circles at the edge of my vision. every star, every streetlight, multiplying into a tenfold symphony of colour and light. it's so overwhelmingly beautiful. how can i ever explain this to people? that when they find out and look at me with pity they should be envious instead. what an immense privilege, to be able to look at the world and see it too.
mobility aids and glasses AND MEDICATION should be free for everyone
I don't think people who have never been through it will ever understand how terrifying brain fog can be.
For my whole life, my mind has been my greatest asset. So when it feels like my mind is progressively malfunctioning, it is an absolutely horrifying thing.
It is scary, for someone who has always excelled at languages, to have a hard time getting everyday words out.
It is scary, for someone who has an eidetic memory, to not be able to remember the simplest things.
It is scary, when thinking has always been a strength that you can depend on, to not be able to think, about anything.