Looking down and seeing it's 12:34 always satisfies some little gremlin in my mind
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if i look back, i am lost
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@deviantvenavis-blog
Looking down and seeing it's 12:34 always satisfies some little gremlin in my mind
Just once I'd like to experience a planet that's not actively on fire
I can’t believe Cassandra had to pay Varric an extra 7 bucks for him to include Sebastian in his story.
Varric: oh dear, I meant to tell you all about the Disney prince slash priest in training with the dreamy blue eyes and the scottish brogue but I’m having trouble remembering the details - maybe some gold pieces will help jog my memory?
Cassandra: Dwarf. He cannot be that important to Hawke’s story if you’ve gotten this far without ever mentioning him. Do you mean to tell me he was there all along and you just forgot about him?
Varric: All right, Seeker, if that’s what you want. I guess you don’t want to hear about the tragic death of his family and his struggle to let go of the quest for vengance so he can become a priest, while he’s also struggling to resist a forbidden attraction to our hero Hawke that he can never act on?
Cassandra: *digging through pockets frantically like the romantic nerd she actually is* wait tell me more
The funniest thing Bioware ever did is canonically write it in that the reason Varric only sometimes mentions Sebastian is because Varric just finds him insufferably boring.
Attention parents: If you put huge beads in your daughter's hair, even more beads on her clothes, and teach her to do flips, I will run a seminar where I teach all the children to sew voodoo dolls of you and then tie the dolls to little rocks and throw them into the lake.
Today I had to stop children from combining billiards and basketball into an entirely new game called 'destruction of property'.
Soup disappoints me today
Swedish has the delightfully opaque expression “skita I det blå skåpet”, literally “to shit in the blue cabinet”, meaning to badly screw something up.
I submit “and now we all have to live in a blender” as a similarly specific English expression of horror at how badly something has gone.
^^^ I'm using both of these phrases for the rest of my life now.
Not to take away from OP's horrific experiences but their snails seem like normal snails to me.
Every single snail I (or anyone I've ever known to own snails) have owned has been a randy bastard snail.
you asked chatgpt? well asked master yoda and he said a fucking dumbass you are
Writer: Alright, this is the part where you two start showing how you make each other better.
Characters: Proceed to make each other worse.
Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.
Might I add:
The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed
The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child
The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship
The adventures of a space roomba
Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)
I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head
hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):
The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)
The Monster of Sentan
The Witch’s Cat
Raise Both Children
Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)
Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)
My Arch Nemesis Cynthia
Pirates and Mermaid
Eindred and the Witch
The Demon King
The Cornerwitch
Grandmother Beetroot
Apocalypse Daycare Worker
Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon
New Year Saga
A Story About Changelings
Ranger in the King’s Forest
The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit
Goblin Men (Canines)
I am in love with you /p
Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella
21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship
22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed
adding the Doctors Without Borders one
I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!
24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children
25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard
26. Haunted house
27. Shark hero was about to go rogue
28. Grandma lives in the woods comic
29. A Different Aftermath comic
30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)
31. It’s A Date comic
32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay
33. Narrative Town
34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic
35. Robot Apocalypse
36. The Statues That Do Not Weather
37. Kushiel
38. Tooth Fairy
39. Alien abduction
40. Felonious wish-granting
41. When humans met actual space orcs
42. Space cousins
WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD
Thursday Bus
"When you die, I'm going to spread your ashes around Disneyland."
"Is cremation really environmentally sound?"
"Who said anything about cremation?"
“Ahsoka Tano. Youngest of three, parents long gone, raised mostly by her brothers. Last year of high school, varsity lacrosse, uh… no priors, just some traffic violations.”
“Any idea what she was doing near the crime scene?”
“Victim was a friend of hers, looks like.”
“Can we question her?”
“She refuses to talk without one of her brothers. She’s a minor, so it’s probably easier to wait on them.”
“How old?”
“The younger is mid-twenties, but I doubt he’s coming. Looks like he’s on the other side of the country, has toddlers, that sort of thing. The elder is about an hour and a half away, teaches biology at a community college. He is also twenty-one years her senior, so I’m guessing he’s more of a parent than a sibling, and he’s the one she called. Said he’s on his way.”
“Bit of a gap, there. Adopted, or were the parents just taking their time, do you think?”
“Um… anyway, I heard he’s bringing his ex-wife. A lawyer, apparently.”
“Still on good enough terms? Fancy that. Well, see if you can set up a rapport before the brother arrives. I’ll see what we have on the lawyer.”
“She’s a partner at Kryze & Organa, sir. She’s Kryze.”
“…well, I’ll do what I can to prepare.”
Hell and Regroup
“Tarnation’s that?” Michaels went still at the sound of his father’s voice. Next to him, Diana’s eyes flew open wide. Adam stared, jaw hanging slightly open. “There’s no…” Erilon laughed softly. “I mean, score one for whoever made the memory card.” Laura laughed softly as she paused the video. “Daddy, you’re gonna love this next part. I’ve only watched the first two…” She laughed again. “Mostly in shock, but there’s almost a hundred of them, most of them only a few minutes, so…” “Play it.” His legs wouldn’t hold him. Fortunately, Adam’s reflexes were good, and he got Michaels to a chair. “That’s my dad, that’s…” He laughed, even as he wiped a tear from his eyes. “That’s my daddy.” “My honored dead.” Laura’s eyes were wet. “I was safe the entire time.” She laughed. “I was with Grandpa.” She closed her eyes, and her laughter made her words hard to understand. “And now we sort of know what happened, let me just…” She hit play. “It’s a camera, see light goes into—“ “I know what a camera is, Sunshine.” The soft southern drawl was unmistakable. He’d could imitate it, and did sometimes when quoting his father. Laura tapped her phone again, and the image showed on the larger screen. Suddenly he was glad she’d spent a ridiculous amount of money on that phone. “You’re telling me that thing’s a—“ “Grandpa calls me Sunshine.” Laura giggled into Adam’s shoulder. Diana’s hand found his, and Michaels pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. His demon hobo girl was Sunshine to his father. Seemed right. “It’s also a phone, and a video camera, oh, and it stores the photos. Also, I can surf the web, play games, send text messages, and it’ll even tell me where I am and pull up a map for me, you know, in the real world.” She lifted the camera, and for the first time, his dad’s face was visible. Michaels felt his breath hitch. Arliss had died young, never reaching forty. He was dressed in military fatigues, with a rifle slung over his shoulder, and was looking at Laura with a bemused expression. “That’s some voodoo bullshit, that’s what that is.” He shook his head as he chuckled. “No, seriously, it’s a digital camera. It takes and stores pictures.” She started tapping the screen, then held it up again, gesturing for him to approach. “I’ve got a bunch. Look, here’s Dad and Diana.” “That’s Diana?” His father pointed at the screen. When Laura nodded, his father looked back at the screen. “She’s a stone fox.” “Grandpa.” The phone lowered as Laura laughed. Next to him, Diana laughed to, and he couldn’t keep himself from joining her. “That better be a compliment.” “I’m just saying, he messes this up, I’m getting the entire Corps to haunt his ass.” The camera came back up to show his dad shaking his head. “When’s she due to pop?” His dad’s eyes were bright, and then they went wide as he shook his head. “You tell your daddy to stow the family naming tradition. Shut the fuck up and let her name the baby, she’s doing all the work.” They both started laughing again, though Adam had the decency to try hiding it. “Ladies and gentlemen…” Laura held up her phone to get a better angle. “You heard it from on high, my grandpa, the OG, the GOAT himself.”
Watching Star Wars in chronological order is so funny.
Obi-Wan Kenobi really took one look at R2D2 in the middle of the desert and said “No, Luke, I’ve never seen this fucking droid in my life. Looks like a real bitch though. Not that I’d know. This is my first time meeting the asshole.”
No one in that whole franchise was Gatekeep-Gasslight-Girlbossing quite like “Ben” Kenobi, regular human-man.
Bish you cannot leave all this glorious commentary in the freakin tags
Luke and Vader AU
A scene from @bolshoiromanova fic, specifically a part in chapter 8, which I HIGHLY recommend you go read!! Seriously IT”S REALLY GOOD FIC! ╰(*°▽°*)╯Highly endorse!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/30500424/chapters/75217236
Dad Vader cuteness
Hi! I hope you had a happy Star Wars day ^^
OPEN COMMISSIONS
These two are Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker in @polarspaz beautiful AU. I found the fic @bolshoiromanova wrote and I definitely had to draw some fanart for it. It is just too cute... and sad😭♥️. Please go check their work out!
Okay, so, I stepped into the Iron Bull tag, which given my current introspective mood (I’ve been drafting parts of Prodigal and it always leaves me thinking about Bull’s nature when I do that) was probably a mistake.
Because now I’m gonna write what I’ve been trying to put into words since the Bull tag started exploding.
Obs. beyond this point are spoilers for Trespasser. I realise my blog hasn’t been spoiler-free at all these past few days (I’m excited dammmit!) But I’ve been trying to tag and warn everything, and keep it solely to the text post. That said, if you do not want to be spoilt, do not read this post.
Okay, here we go.
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