I cannot stop thinking about what a fucking year Ilya had in 2014
Putin warns gay people not to spread propaganda during Sochi Olympics
Every Western media outlet wants a sound bite from Ilya, a Russian superstar who’s lived in the West for five years, regarding the gay propaganda laws
Ilya has to thread the needle of neither denouncing or promoting Russia’s stance
Ilya leads the National Hockey Team to a demoralising crash out
The prettiest man in the world makes the unbelievably stupid decision that now is a good time and place to talk to each other in public for the first time ever
He is upbraided by his Papa
Sveta completely misreads what he needs, and he can’t even be mad about it because at least she’s trying
The Bolotnaya Square protesters are convicted
Russia moves troops into Crimea
He keeps frantically googling pictures of Shane in the middle of the night
Russian opposition leaders are detained
G8 suspends Russian membership
Boston makes the playoffs
The Russian government enacts laws tightening control of dissemination of information, categorising bloggers alongside journalists
The Donetsk and Luhansk referenda, unrecognised by the international community
Boston wins the Stanley Cup
Has panic attack in a bathroom, is immediately accused of being an asshole for arriving on time
Successfully convinces himself he’s capable of having sex with Shane without feelings, definitely doesn’t cry once he’s alone
Super super fun happy times summer with his ailing father
MH17 shot down by Russian-made missile
Russia hits back at sanctions by banning food imports, sends food prices soaring
Oil prices crash, halving Russia’s national budget
Foreign ownership in Russia media is capped
Has Totally No Strings No Feelings secret sex with Shane, everything is Chill
Russian financial crisis hits, prices of food up 40 to 50%, some KHL teams can’t even pay their players
And all throughout this, every time he opens Facebook he’s tagged in yet another hundred fucking ALS ice bucket challenges
