Asexual, Agender, & Autistic

🌈Gay panic—Fandom trash(affectionate)

[arrowheadedbitch]

I just accidentally made un-tea?????

I made green tea, but I forgot there was an old bag of chai in the kettle, so I mixed chai water with decaf green tea, then I mixed in like a half table spoon or something of that honey from the dollar store that they aren't legally allowed to call honey because there's too much corn syrup in it and some almond milk and a single drop of coffee creamer because we ran out and???? It tastes like??? Nothing????

It has LESS flavor than my tap water! HOW do you EVEN-

I think I made a flavor that's only perceptible to shrimp, that's the only explanation

[arrowheadedbitch]

It tried to make it again and I somehow made milk???? I used almond milk but it tastes like whole milk???? Like straight from the fucking tit what the fuck, HOW DID I MAKE LACTOSE FREE MILK WTF WTF HOWWW

[fwoosheye]

Pretty sure OP are on their way to become a modern alchemist

[arrowheadedbitch]

Halp

[doublemyheight]

New tumblr recipe dropped gang inform strange aeons

[arrowheadedbitch]

Oh dear

[the-tired-ish-rat]

don't worry arrow I believe in you, you can make your tea. wait what's this cup- aaaææÆGHHH

[arrowheadedbitch]

Please stop trying to curse me

[arrowheadedbitch]

I made more untea, god help me

[arrowheadedbitch]

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU GUYS TO *STOP* TRYING TO CURSE ME

[arrowheadedbitch]

YOU

[arrowheadedbitch]

Okay, my most popular post is a 20k Tim Drake post, you can't get this to a 100k that's actually ridiculous. Good luck doing the impossible, babes

[jaxon-exe]

Oh what this?? Another dp x dc idea?? U bet!!!!

So anyway, Danny gets forced to go to a gala with Vlad and is not happy about it. The whole night he is just dragged around by Vlad talking to person after person and he’s sick of it.

It isn’t until late in the night when the gala is almost over that he sees an opportunity to slip away and takes it. He doesn’t get very far out the door however when a hand lands on his shoulder and turns him towards a group of people in front of a car. At first he freaks until he sees who’s guiding him to the others. BRUCE WAYNE!! GOTHAMS FAVOURITE HIMBO WITH TO MANY CHILDREN TO KEEP TRACK!!!

Seeing this as the opportunity that this was he shut his mouth and let Bruce herd him into his gaggle of orphans, who took one look at him and went- let’s see how long it takes Bruce to notice.

A long time it seems. It’s now the next day and Bruce still hasn’t noticed the extra person at the dinner table. 

[1001aus]

Vlad doesn't think anything of it when he can't find Danny at the end of the night; it's not out of character for him to take off and leave Vlad at the gala and he's plenty capable of taking care of himself. But then Danny shows up in paparazzi pictures of the Waynes and everyone is speculating on the newest adoption and Vlad goes oh shit and begins attempting damage control.

Meanwhile it's day five and the Wayne family is split.

Bruce, of course, still hasn't realized there's an extra black haired, blue eyed teenager in the house. Dick assumed Danny just got picked up while he's been in Bludhaven, Jason is distracted by Red Hood business and doesn't go to galas anymore so he hasn't met Danny, neither has Tim who has been out of town with the Teen Titans. Damian would declare war except Cassandra won't let him because she noticed Danny didn't belong before they made it home from the gala and recognized that Danny's only goal was mischief. Alfred prepared a room for Danny because he's pretty sure that Danny will end up adopted if Bruce notices before Danny's parents take him back. Stephanie thinks it's hilarious because this is pretty much the same way she joined the family.

Week two. Jason has noticed and stopped by the manor for the specific purpose of meeting Danny and that alone has Alfred ready to keep him. Danny has just moved into some random rich guy's home and is eating his food, which Jason respects as a former street kid from Crime Alley.

Dick still hasn't realized Bruce doesn't know about Danny. Through a comedy of errors any time it seems like Bruce might catch on he mistakes Danny for Tim. Dick doesn't know that they are talking about different people.

Damian is keeping his distance because he sees Danny as an interloper and a threat to the family secret, but the others have been too welcoming for him to act without evidence. The only reason he tolerates this state of affairs is because Cassandra spends so much time around Danny.

Vlad can't even get close to the manor. Over the years Bruce has gotten the various magicians of his acquaintance to add magical protections to the house and now spirits that aren't invited in (as Danny sort of was since the family brought him) can't gain access. He's starting to think the Waynes might be a crime family, he suspects Bruce might be Penguin.

[dewdrop-gremlin]

This is unknowably hilarious, a cryptid of comedy.

I’m! fucking! losing! it!

Very sitcom of Bruce, the only thing that would add more chaos is if the Justice League get in on it.

Jon starts just showing up just for dinner at first, then sneaking around at any time of night, then in random and increasingly unlikely spaces, IN FRONT OF Bruce.

In the kitchen at 3am, eating his food.

He hides behind a door Bruce closes, and B just assumes it’s one of his menagerie of orphans trying to get the drop on him, because he’s reading a case file and he hasn’t slept in the last 84 hours.

Bruce has noticed that they’re up to something but their secret mayhem seems innocuous and he’s learned that it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie.

A cold chill runs up his spine when he recalls how it feels to be assaulted by glitter in the Batmobile’s vents, but the shiver he gets is remembering the talking down everyone got from Alfred for crossing the line.

He still finds bits of glitter in his hair after a long night. He swears its force is so strong that it’s the one constant through all Batman timelines in the multiverse.

On one memorable occasion, Jon walks directly up onto the ceiling as Bruce enters the library. Dick’s finally in on the bit and it takes all of his Robin training not to peal out laughing.

The closest Jon ever got to getting busted was when he was in one of the coat closets and Bruce put his coat away, possibly without detection, but definitely without comment.

Billy Batson stays a week at one point. And try as he might to get away without anyone hiding money and food in his belongings, he finds a magically (possibly an exaggeration, but with the serious skill involved in fitting it in there at all, much less without his notice, it’s difficult to tell) folded care package that included enough food, water, and toiletries for a week, also a sewing kit and waterproofing kit for his backpack that he refused replacement for. He knows only Alfred could’ve done it because those rich bitches can’t fold things worth shit and there’s the curious lack of tracking devices in it as well.

Conner Kent even makes a few guest appearances at half a handful of dinners and game nights.

Bruce has almost decided he’s had enough when he catches a couple League members peeking in the windows out of the corner.

When it comes to an absolute head, Bruce is about to have an honest to god intervention with his merry band of gremlins;

it’s bizarre, asinine chance that ends the fun.

Danny was exhausted. He’d just souped box ghost after having to loop around all of Gotham at least 3 times chasing Johnny around to catch him.

And oh, I don’t know. Kicking Skulkers ass a total of not 1, not 2, not 3, but 7 times in the last 48 hours, none of which he’d caught a wink of sleep in.

He’d known his rogues would get bored at some point but he’d honestly thought Vlad would be the one to ruin the game. He’s lost track of how long it’s been. He think he’s been unofficially adopted. By this weird, probably crime family.

He wasn’t quite sure Bruce hadn’t noticed and kept playing along, there’s no way even with this big house that he’s gone undetected for this long. It’s been maybe…2 months? Yeah, that’s sounds about right. He’s too tired to do any more math than that anyway.

He really hopes Batman hasn’t taken notice of his debut in the Gotham nightlife.

Who is he kidding, of course he has. He’s Batman!

He decides not to think about that and just phases invisibly into bed, the mattress giving an emphatic thump as he drops his transformation midair and is asleep before he even gets under the blankets, shoes and jeans and all.

Batman has been working on a big drug smuggling bust and been busy with Harley all week. He’s moved beyond exhaustion into a new plane of existence. He’s forgotten what not having to muscle your eyelids open at all times, feels like.

And there’s the troubling new meta that just pops in and out, out of nowhere. He knew there was a new player, most likely neutral, as they had only been spotted blurily, flying from a distance.

B has a hunch that they’re one and the same. The property damage had been minimal, but the power to go incorporeal seemingly at will is very…troubling.

But Batman is done for the night and Bruce is trudging up to bed. He hears some of his kids snickering in their rooms and doesn’t possess the energy to be a responsible caretaker and tell them it’s 4:00am and time to sleep.

Plus, they’d never let go of the hypocrisy.

No more thoughts he tells himself, no more thoughts until coffee tomorrow, he can dream can’t he?

He’s opening his door before he’s registered getting there. Bruce thinks (drats more thoughts?) that he’s quite possibly hit a new record of sleeplessness, or that he could ever hope to beat Tim. Damn he worries about that kid. But can’t think about that now.

Doesn’t bother to turn on the lights.

And doesn’t quite flop, Alfred’s taught him better than that, but sits heavily at the foot of the bed.

Two things happen.

There’s a loud yelp. And Bruce is across the room, batarang in hand because apparently he’s still halfway in his suit, sans cowl. phenomenal. ideal really.

Two green lights flash above the mattress. His vision hasn’t quite adjusted. And it takes a second for his adrenaline sleep addled brain to come up with…eyes. Lazarus green eyes. Ice water fills his chest. Not great.

A confused garbled, “Jason?”, is out of his mouth before he registered the thought.

Danny’s high squeak of “Batman???,” comes shortly after. He blinks out of visibility for just a second, nerves, and yep. He’s definitely screwed. Why did he ever believe that anything could go right? Danny should’ve known his Fenton luck would come into play soon.

The question finally filters through after what seems like a frozen eternity, “um No,” comes out much shakier than he would’ve preferred at the same time two voice exclaim, “wait what?!”

Now that Danny’s been awake for more than 30 seconds, he realizes that, although he’s in deep shadow, Batman is bare faced, just dead guy perks.

Thanks ghost vision for the pleasure of viewing my death: the sequel in 4D.

No way Batman is going to let him live if he’s comfy enough to let his hair down.

Noise

Lights glinting off metal

Commotion

Pandemonium

No one quite knows how to describe what happens next, and despite that everyone has their own batencdotes- baanecdotes- bantnodtoces- batfam campfire stories of this night.

Stephanie swears up and down that someone *cough cough Dick* brought a super soaker. But Barbara knows the truth, the whole truth. Did anyone really believe they were safe from the future groupchat shenanigans with mask cams in this family?

She’ll let them know one day. But just for fun, she already has enough blackmail for 3 lifetimes. Even on Damian.

The lights have long been turned on.

They’re all staring at each other, in various states of street and sleepwear, pointing like the Spider-Man meme.

This is my first time writing anything for fandom. Actually it’s probably the most significant amount of writing I’ve ever posted to the internet. If criticism, will cry.

Not proofread, couldn’t be bothered to reread it (wouldn’t have posted because I’d’ve been too busy with the anxiety monster consuming me like a snake, already up to my knees).

I’ve been but a simple lurker for years now. Might do a part 2 if anyone is interested or if it catches my fancy.

But for now, I have to do homework…that I’ve procrastinated…all semester. Because I’m an adult and I make fantastic decisions thank you very much.

[dewdrop-gremlin]

lmfao I know it's been eons, but if anyone wants to read more of my stuff, I finally decided to post smth on my Ao3 account

I have a lot of fic ideas in the works (like 20-ish), and I have many, many, many plans for updating the (sole fic) current one that's up.

I'm fantastic at the planning/ideas phase of things, and now...this is me, getting more practice at the 'actually follow-through phase' too.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[redflagshipwriter]

Red Hot Ghouls Chapter 13 part 1/2

masterpost

The next patrol night, Jason’s shoulder was still a little sore from how hard Jack Fenton had pumped it to say goodbye after they’d gone ‘ghost chasing- not hunting!’ in the family van. The van and the family were both growing on him. He was going to really hate it if he had to arrest either of the Fenton kids. It might damage his relationship with Jack and Maddie.

“How was your trip?”

“Might have gotten adopted but I’m not sure why,” Jason said. He shot his grapple and aimed to get a good view of the neighborhood. He winced as it reeled him up. It was a quiet night and cool air buffeted him hard from the side. He didn’t expect trouble. He’d been seen, which was the main deterrent Crime Alley needed at this point. “Did a bit of journalism. Had an impromptu refresher on tactical driving.” He hit boots-first with relief and immediately rolled his shoulder.

“...You’re doing that shitty thing where you make it sound like you’re blowing me off with lies, but then later I find out it was all true and you make some jackass comment about being an honest guy,” Tim diagnosed. He sounded cranky about it, too.

Jason just shrugged. “Did Gotham miss me?” Horns honked in the distance. He looked in that direction on reflex; but no explosion or crash followed. He relaxed again.

“Not even a little bit. But something happened while you were in the air, actually, that might be relevant. Have time to watch?” A little red cursor appeared on the feed inside his helmet.

Jason retracted his grapple and settled in on the ledge like a gargoyle. “Go for it.” He rested his elbows on his knees and crouched. Then he redirected his focus from the real world around him to the little screen that Tim was hijacking.

“Yeah, you’ll like this,” Tim said under his breath. “Just a sec. No theory yet, but check this shit out.”

Jason grimaced preemptively.

The shared screen switched to an Arkham security camera, complete with logo in the bottom right hand corner. It showed a single occupancy low-security cell at night. A man was sleeping in the bed. The quality was crappy enough that Jason doubted he’d be able to identify the prisoner if they looked directly at the camera.

“That Waters?” he checked.

“Sure is.” A button clicked. “Here we go.”

It was hard to tell that the video was playing, aside from the seconds ticking by on the display. Jason resisted the urge to fidget. Tim had selected this part for a reason. Maybe that reason was to be a dick, but probably he was serious.

The screen went black. Then static. Then the feed started wavering across the screen in lines.

“Huh.” Jason lifted his eyebrows. “Not great quality.”

“Reminds me of the quality of Jasmine Fenton’s phone calls,” Tim muttered. “But hold on. It’s hard to see, but-”

Waters was sitting up in one frame. In the next, he was scrambling out of bed and to the floor to prostrate face down in front of absolutely nobody.

He had to make a dry comment. “Wonder why he’s in Arkham.”

Granted, Jason knew the guy was kinda right about the afterworld. But he really wasn’t conveying ‘I am a stable member of society who won’t try any more human sacrifices in a community center rental room.’

Jason squinted. “Does it look like he’s talking to you?”

“Sure does.” Tim sounded frustrated. “No sound, and there’s no chance of reading lips on this even if the angle was better.”

Jason checked the full view of the camera angle again with a sharp eye for any anomalies. Lots of people had special powers that let them go unseen. There was usually some kind of sign, though. A shadow? Something small on the floor that was disturbed? An indication that something moved because someone touched it?

If there was anyone in that room, they didn’t touch anything, and they didn’t stay long. Waters wrenched himself up and threw a fit, hitting the floor and pulling at his hair. Jason watched impassively, waiting to see how long it took for something to happen.

“Response time isn’t too bad,” he remarked. Two orderlies appeared outside of the cell and began trying to talk Waters down.

“Over two minutes,” Tim said judgmentally.

Jason rolled his eyes, because he lived in the real fucking world where that was a short amount of time to notice and reach a cell at night. On the screen, Waters started to respond to whatever was being said. He uncurled from his ball on the floor. He gradually got up. He nodded a few times. The rest of the clip seemed utterly unremarkable and Jason had to assume they were only watching it to be certain they were thorough.

When it was finally over Jason leaned back and contemplated the night sky. “You think that Jasmine Fenton is connected?” he had to ask.

“She did look up when his cell transfer would be and this happened half a day later, the last night before he got moved. I can’t think of how she’d be connected, unless you believe- well.” Tim cleared his throat. “I looked up the Fentons. They say they’re, uh.” He sounded embarrassed just to say it.

Jason could have cut in at any time with ‘ectobiologists?’ Instead, he sat back and enjoyed how uncomfortable his shitty little foster brother was about mad science. Bit rich, coming from the mental breakdown cloning guy. But hey, free schadenfreude source.

Tim sighed so hard it sent static across the feed. Jason turned on the recording function just in time to capture Tim say, “They’re ghost hunters. Ecobiologists. Hey, you sack of-”

Jason ended the recording. “Imma trim that,” he muttered to himself, and saved the file where Tim couldn’t access it. “Gonna be my ringtone for you,” he lied cheerfully. He could think of much better uses for ‘they’re ghost hunters.’

But in the interest of fairness-

“They’re not ghost hunters,” Jason clarified. “They’re ghost chasers, now. Like storm chasers.”

“Wow,” Tim muttered. “I’ll take that note down for my diary.

Jason stood up and ignored the sarcasm. “You’re theorizing that there might have been a ghost in that cell?”

[dewdrop-gremlin]

I love this so much just aduhfsauonawdsoifwhq asidnfsgf don't even know what to do with myself

cryingggggggg

[sirianhewig]

[bitch-a-la-mode]

OP you left out the best part

[werewolf-cuddles]

Always reblog wholesome batdad

[goron-king-darunia]

Someone checking the “baby’s” DNA against a database. “Oh my god. That baby is a clone of Bruce Wayne.”

[dewdrop-gremlin]

crying, screaming, this is the Batman we need.

[dewdrop-gremlin]

Hi my love! How are you doing , this is my second account i wanna ask you to help me and my family to survive please! You are our last hope to reach others they can donate, i am really don't forget this for you till my last breath 💔, reblog my pinned one at least ❤️ that's my link!

https://gofund.me/03a21434

And that's my post, please Reblog it and share!!!

https://www.tumblr.com/shahdhatem/751533316688265216/donate-to-help-me-evacuate-my-family-from-gaza?source=share

Please donate for us and save our lives if that's possible 🥺❤️❤️❤️

I'm vertified by Nabulsi

I don't know what else to add. I've never posted anything but fan content on here. I'm not sure how the verified thing works.

Please donate what you can, if you can. Any amount, small amounts still really help because they add up.

There are people fighting for their lives every single day, these folks are fighting for their lives every day.

We're seeing a genocide happen in real time. History will always repeat itself unless we decide to learn from it. Do we really want to be on the wrong side of it?

It's hard to read about. It hurts to see other human beings in pain, see families torn apart by war, children going hungry, people dying from preventable diseases because they can't afford the medications.

But Palestinians desperately need our help, they don't have the luxury of turning away from the screen, so please don't turn a blind eye.

[dewdrop-gremlin]

Hi sorry for burging in . I need your helping Please if you can be able to extend a hand for me,that would be much appreciate. I'm $800,needed pls🙏 . I need to save my blood sugar and afford living expenses It’s $800. I plead for your little donations. I'll really appreciate your help❤️please help me with your little donation or share🙏

I don't know what else to add. I've never posted anything but fan content on here. This hasn't been vetted yet as far as I know. I'm not sure how that works. Please donate what you can, if you can. Any amount, small amounts still really help because they add up.

There are people fighting for their lives every single day, these folks are fighting for their lives every day.

We're seeing a genocide happen in real time. History will always repeat itself unless we decide to learn from it. Do we really want to be on the wrong side of it?

It's hard to read about. It hurts to see other human beings in pain, see families torn apart by war, children going hungry, people dying from preventable diseases because they can't afford the medications.

But Palestinians desperately need our help, they don't have the luxury of turning away from the screen, so please don't turn a blind eye.

[dewdrop-gremlin]

Hi there 👋,

My name is Mohammad, a father of three young children living in Gaza. We are facing unimaginable hardships due to the ongoing catastrophic war, and our home is no longer safe. I’ve started a fundraising to raise $40,000 to move my family to a safer place where my children can have a chance at a better future. 💔🍉

If you could spare a moment to read our story and consider donating or even sharing, it would mean the world to us. Every bit of support brings us closer to safety and hope. 🙏

Thank you for your kindness and compassion. ❤

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

I don't know what else to add. I've never posted anything but fan content on here. This hasn't been vetted yet as far as I know. I'm not sure how that works. Please donate what you can, if you can. Any amount, small amounts still really help because they add up.

There are people fighting for their lives every single day, these folks are fighting for their lives every day.

We're seeing a genocide happen in real time. History will always repeats itself unless we decide to learn from it. Do you want to be on the wrong side of history?

I know it's hard to read about. It hurts to see other human beings in pain, see families torn apart by war, children going hungry, people dying from preventable diseases because they can't afford the medications.

But Palestinians desperately need our help, they don't have the luxury of turning away from the screen, so please don't turn a blind eye.

[dewdrop-gremlin]

Danny: the Adoption TimeBomb

@lemonlinelights @itsparadoxlacuna @bluebeaniefrog @heavenmaycare @necesito-mas-cafe @thenerdycupcake @mar-and-the-idea-graveyard @boo-ghosties @yowaiyureibana @why-must-i-be-like-this @jwhitefang @mysticsoulgirl @adalarovenor @meira-3919 @skulld3mort-1fan @desertbogwitch @booberrylizard @fluffy23sblog @onlyhereforthechaos @jaggedheart11 @markus209 @akikkobara @awkwardmaiden @addie-lover-of-stories @malice-of-the-sunrise @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @blueflipflops @gin2212 @realityisdulllonglivefiction @kisatamao @stargirl1331 @gaelic-holiday @paperlicense687 @joseph557 @the-legal-shipper @sjrose1216 @rosedasy @bruh-incoming @i23432i @boldymoldedcheese @draconicdumbass @rust-is-a-car-disease @is-this-even-relatable @zelabee @screechingnoises

I know I missed a few, if you find them please tag. <3

Part 1:

Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your

Here’s the incredibly belated Part 2!

Y’all should never have given me attention, oml I’m incorrigible.

I’m going to do everything they told us not to in those internet safety assemblies, here’s to over sharing on the internet instead of going to therapy (that was a joke, I’m definitely in therapy, because obviously I need it, plz go to therapy if you have the resources y’all, or don’t, I’m just a first time fanfiction writing stranger screaming into the void of the internet), and no one can stop me. 🤷

My autistic ass (not making fun of autistic peeps, that would be quite hypocritical considering) is currently writing fanfiction, painting my kitchen magenta, and emotionally preparing myself for my dad’s memorial/celebration of life later this week.

While I should be applying for jobs, getting all my bureaucratic shit together for next semester, and doing the dishes.

It’s neurodivergent self care time bitches.

Preface:

I’m trying my best with characterization & individual voices.

I don’t typically write dialogue and action and I’ve definitely never done so with characters I didn’t create, like ever. So here’s to trying new things.

I would genuinely appreciate any constructive criticism as long as it’s respectful. Plz and thank you.

Also I didn’t proofread. Whatcha gonna do about it? 🤷 That was true, before I had to change the formatting for legibility.

Let me know if anything is confusing. I know the perspectives are a bit fucky. Since changing the format I stand by the perspectives, and they were really fun to write; let me know…if they’re…as much fun to read.

I did a mix of first and third perspective, and the narrator doesn’t know much, if anything, more than the reader.

Also? Unreliable narrator? That’s for you to decide. The style of the narrator transitions with the thought pattern/voice of the narrated.

And definitely still let me know if it’s hard to understand anywhere. Thank you!

Expect a part 3 later this week. I’m going to drop an ao3 link on part 3 too.

That will be my first post on ao3, yay to participation after years of just lurking.

Soooooo, thanks for reading if ya got this far…that’s pretty cash-money of you. 😅

I won’t leave y’all on a cliffhanger…I guess that one is kinda literal oops my Rick Riordan might be showing…for long.

And we’ll learn how they got into this situation in part 3 too.

This is probably considered a tad angsty? But as someone with PTSD, I think pretty much anything that includes that many characters with PTSD would include a certain allotted amount of angst.(Hope y’all don’t mind little alliteration, it’s my favorite.)

I’m more than likely going to do alternate endings/storylines. Scratch that, I’ll definitely be doing multiple storylines (probably just 2).

Because I want a haha jokey funny one.

But also? I’m having a difficult time so what else should I do but project onto my comfort characters? 👀

Sorry for the long author’s note, 😭into the fic:

***indented= inner thoughts

***inner thoughts are italicized if they’re between dialogue or communicated by narrator

***the rest is narration/dialogue

This could theoretically be called consciousness. Danny can almost understand the muffled voices, but his brain is heavy and lagging like when he collapsed from exhaustion after a 96 hour ghost fighting binger, fueled by enough caffeine to kill him for good and spite.

But I got all my English assignments turned in that week. So alls fair that ends well? Alls well that ends war?

He decides to table that for a later date when the first feeling coming back isn’t a terrible throbbing between his ears so violent it feels like it’s producing heat.

It might be.

Danny is still pretty fuzzy on halfa anatomy.

The voices get a bit clearer and he recognizes the feeling of smothering under a small mountain of blankets.

It’s terrible, the heat is electric in his body. It’s pain running from scalp to sole and he can’t do it again. He’s NOT going to die by lightening again. NO SIREE

Out out out off no

Not going down that route.

Danny almost feels ready to face whatever the fuck he’s gotten himself into when a hand clamps onto his wrist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jason, we can’t just give Danny a shot of adrenaline to him up! We don’t even know if his body processes it like ours…AND you’re not supposed to stress an already stressed immune system.” Tim pinches the bridge of his nose and doesn’t take his eyes off Danny as he paces back and forth.

“Whatever Replacement,” Jason puts himself directly in path, Tim giving an emphatic “oomph,” as he thumps directly into a solid wall.

My form freezes like my blood has been introduced to Mr. Freeze’s special brew liquid nitrogen, like this could slow the inevitable descent into Pit madness. As my eyes meet Jason’s.

Very very green ones. Glowing one could say, and not the nice like way, the pregnant or skin hydrated crops watered kind. Lurid green pulses on and off.

Hands land heavy on my shoulders and I know can’t brush past him, but I might be able to go under his arms if I get a good distraction. The hallway is only 40 steps away weaving through the shelves for any way to slow him down.

I know everyone is home, hovering near, busying themselves cozying the drawing room where we hold family game night. Nesting like their namesake. Bruce should be in the cave, but that’s too much risk. Getting cornered in an elevator is 0/10 would not recommend.

I might just make it out of this alive.

The pit simmers, but doesn’t devour, consume. And it’s strangely not directed toward Tim…-Replacement. Replacement.

He’s still as a statue and it’s a bit amusing until guilt licks up my spine. I try to alleviate the tension by brushing past it, Danny needs us, no walking down pit rage memory lane.

Deeply frowning as Replacement flinches hard at the nonviolent physical contact that was supposed to reassure him I wasn’t going to add to his repertoire of scars. My stomach heavy as I see my handiwork peaking out from under his collar.

I grunt, angry that I’m thinking about his feelings at all, that I just keep fucking everything up, and the only person who doesn’t tiptoe on eggshells around me goes into fight or flight every time I move too fast.

And give what I hope is a reassuring squeeze before moving my hands slowly away, taking a step back.

“Jason,” it comes out much quieter than I’d prefer. And definitely not sounding like I’m 10 seconds from bawling.

Replacement crouches slightly and I huff, because dramatic much? I thought I was supposed to be the theatre kid. Unless Tim is hiding a duffel bag full of heads somewhere, it’s my title to claim. He already has the sleepless record.

“Replacement,—“ and he’s gone, halfway across the room toward the door before I even say more than his name. I grit my teeth and stand still to give him a moment to calm down.

I throw my head back for just a second even though I know better, waste of precious time. I don’t know why he let me go, but better not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I looked the gift horse in the mouth.

His eyes are still flashing and he looks irritated but not the mindless berserker, I pause. Mistake big mistake. He moves faster than I thought possible and the ground kisses me kindly with carpet burn.

Can’t believe I’m going to die by clumsiness. What a way to go. Poor Danny.

Danny!

I look over to Danny, Jason hunched over him like a gargoyle, the reflection of his eyes making Danny look more sickly than I thought possible. Sure he’s a meta or an alien, leaning more toward alien at this point, so we don’t know exactly what his healthy is…but that’s not the point!

I don’t remember getting up but I’m at Danny’s side and we’ve come full circle as I tense all the muscles of my body because Jason is growling.

Honest to god growling like a rabid dog. And I’ve pushed my emergency button, cursing myself for not thinking of it sooner.

“Jason, I know you don’t want to hurt Danny. You were doing a good job fighting the pit to maybe not kill me. Just keep doing that.”

I don’t know what I’m saying. I don’t know what I’m saying. I don’t know what I’m saying.

Where’s backup?! House full of birds and bats and someone can still get the drop on us?!

His head doesn’t even turn, but his hands are slowly crawling closer towards Danny’s neck and Tim is just out of reach.

Too far away

Jason throws a knife without turning his head, hitting somewhere on the thigh.

He can’t feel the pain yet, but the blood itches as it trails down, and the knife makes a big thump into the carpet.

Alfred is not going to be happy.

This effectively stops any physical intervention. So Tim does what he does best.

Something in my chest aches.

Something is wrong with Danny.

A litany of hurt hurt hurt pain scared help please not again not dying, no more dying running so loud through my head I can’t think.

I need to help. I hear Danny. Help help save help scared, but he’s not speaking to me.

I can’t tell what’s wrong until he whines. I need to help. He thrashes weakly at the blankets.

Hearts don’t buzz. That’s a problem for future Jason.

I knew they went overkill, but his cold hands in the summer heat made Bruce look like he was going to wicked witch of the west melt into the carpet.

Sentimental dumbass, wish he had the same energy-not going to go there.

Danny is supposed to be cold. He’s always been cold.

I carefully pull the blankets down. Wrong move now and the whole mansion and possibly surrounding city blocks will pay for it. I just know.

“Jason! I really don’t know what you want with the latest adoption bait when your favorite punching bag is right here.

Why don’t you come finish what you started huh? Too chicken? Still want to win daddy’s favor?”

Too far, I know I went overboard before I see the words finish coming out of my mouth. Since when was it so fucking cold? I thought we turned up the heat?

Aaaaaaaand, I’m down for the count. Hey, I tried my best.

I’m readying myself for my fate, but blinking open my eyes doesn’t help me make any more sense of the situation.

Other than flicking his eyes to his peripherals to bury a knife hopefully just shy of my femoral artery, Jason doesn’t react. He just keeps doing doing whatever he’s doing at the pace of a geriatric snail.

And how about that, the green must be receding if I can see him flick his eyes.

Or it may just be something astronomically worse. In this family, with my luck, that seems much more likely.

“I know you hate me,” I don’t know where I’m going with this, “but Danny hasn’t even been legally adopted yet, cut him some slack. The papers are still warm off the printer.”

ffffffffffuck FUCK fuck fuck

I forgot how much getting stabbed fucking sucks, as I carefully apply pressure around the knife without jostling it and just hope for the best.

Something is happening with Danny, ice is spreads quickly out, in spindly fingers across the carpet. Creating a beautiful mandala.

“You don’t have to do this Jason.”

And if it hadn’t beforehand, that’s really when all hell breaks loose.

There’s a terrible noise, loud enough to drown out their loud heartbeats, with an underlayer of breaking glass. The walls bleed green and it sounds like every wall in the mansion was teeming with angry bees.

So I’m not dying. That’s cool, I love it when I do that. Not die, that is. Been there, half done that.

But something is very wrong and I can’t put my finger on it. I almost drift back into sleep.

But I caaaaaaaan’t be comfortable. Like that’s supposed to be really really bad. Isn’t it?

Am I in the Far Frozen? Did I get hit by a truck? Or did Skulker get a new weapons upgrade?

Why is everything so so much?

Really bad? What’s really bad again? I know I’ve forgotten something really important, but it’s so good and cold, I just can’t for the halfa life of me remember what it is. Fat lotta good that does me.

Sam said I’m not supposed to use that idiom. It feeds into diet culture and fat shaming. And I deeeeefinitely don’t want to do that.

Like I know I can’t get help at a normal doctor’s, but they act like people just living in bigger bodies are just as foreign.

“Master Jason! Master Tim! Exactly what in the hell is going on here?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~—————————————————————~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, that’s it then.

Alfred is cursing so we’re dead. And I’m bleeding on the carpet. I don’t want to make him clean any more than he already does.

This is a world ending event and Bruce had better dust off his contingency’s contingencies. We’re well and truly fucked.

Alfred’s presence fills the room. He’s never needed a megaphone or sharp object to do so, just his voice and auspicious eyebrows.

Something is wrong. I don’t want to disappoint Alfred, he’s the only good part of this fucked up family.

I did something wrong. Oh my head, I’ve been blown up with less pain than this.

Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Am I dying? Again?

The sound of running feet, slamming doors, and the swish of the elevator panel converges into a dizzying funnel of pain.

No one quite knows what’s going on.

Green ooze flies around the room, gathering—coming to rest on, in, and— around the two most dead people in the room, like a Great Dane sitting on a waterbed.

I knew I shouldn’t have left Danny. I knew I should’ve had this intervention sooner. I was just so afraid of scaring him off. I know what everyone thinks about Batman and metas.

Hell, I actively encourage it.

But with Signal, I thought the kids and anyone refraining from trouble would know they’re safe here.

I just don’t want Superman, the Flash, or worse, Green Lantern bumbling around Gotham.

I’m surprised he came back at all. It took a good week to see hide or hair of him, but I know he was here out of sight.

I am always failing these kids. I can’t get anything right.

They deserve so much better.

But even if it isn’t me, better’s Alfred.

The elevator dings.

Would it have been faster to take the stairs? Am I going to find another child dead in my care?

Am I going to be 10 seconds too late?

I’m not losing another one. I’m not letting Jason down again.

I can’t, I can’t, I won’t.

Lazarus green green green

I’ve almost reached them. I’m not-

“Bruce Thomas Wayne,” he didn’t have to yell. Merely raised his voice to be heard over the cacophony.

“That is Enough.”

Really the dramatics are unnecessary. Sometimes I could swear that I raised a traveling theatre troop rather than a house full of respectable, if more than a bit reckless, young men.

“Now then,” Alfred straightens his vest and walks forward despite the universal noises of protest across the room.

Dutifully ignoring the ice and paying no mind to the amassed flitting cooing manner of creatures conglomerating in the middle of the room, he makes his way to his two troublemakers.

He stops just short of them, fully surveying the scene.

Master Jason is knelt over, clutching his head, resting it on the side of the settee Master Danny resides on.

The animals are,—cooing, trilling, purring, and worrying their way into hair, clothing, and perhaps person, in other words—from all appearances, trying to offer comfort and solace.

“Master Bruce you will assist Master Damian and Master Stephany in getting Master Tim to the infirmary downstairs.”

“Alfred-“

“Quickly now, if you would. You have the most first aide knowledge aside from myself, do you not? As I’m sure you can tell, that knife wound looks a proper fright, it is fairly shallow and well placed.

Off you pop.”

“Y-yes Alfred.”

“Well placed?! Jason stabbed me!”

“Yes Master Tim, you did an excellent job keeping him, shall we say occupied. Consider him stalled.

He did, and fortunately for you, he did an excellent job of it too. He doesn’t do much anything by halves.”

The bastards snorted. Snorted! Talk about kicking me while I’m down. Why the hell do I visit? Stephanie is in for it big time.

I glare at Cass, whose eyes are filled with mirth. She doesn’t even have to laugh, I can feel it from here.

The next step was instructing them on correct patient transportation procedures. But Master Bruce in his particularly frazzled state, crossed the room trancelike, passing especially slowly by the green encompassed sofa, and scooped Master Tim off the floor in one fluid motion.

He gave an indignant squawk, uncouthly opening and closing his mouth.

I simply held my tongue, but caught the tail end of his wrathful staring match with Master Stephanie, before the group disappeared through the doorway, as the razing began.

Now with the most impulsive group put aside, they could begin to disentangle this mystery. Bruce got his interest in detective work from somewhere after all. And it wasn’t solely the Gray Ghost.

“Masters Cassandra and Duke, I require your particular expertise.”

As if on cue, Danny whimpers and Jason flinches, hard.

Danny shrinks small and tiptoes the same way Superman does if you know what to look for. He hasn’t interacted much with me.

With any of us really.

Aside surface level humor.

But especially me. He sees me. He sees me seeing him and it scares him. To the core.

Even though he has been staying at the manor for nearly one year quarter. He distrusts.

We are less evil…er

Danny flinches at loud noises, eyes always tracking the exits when he thinks no one is looking. He stiffens at or shirks touch, even when Dick gives him the baby dog eyes.

He is a coiled wire. Taut as guitar string Stephanie overtuned and sliced her cheek.

Danny eats a lot, fast, and guilty. He is hungry. He was always so careful as he danced around Bruce’s attention.

Too graceful. Too quiet, too light. Easy to lift, but only moves when he leans into impact. He pauses.

He thinks about normal people strength.

Superman-strong

His eyes shine like Titus.

And terrified behind smiles. He hides least around Duke. He jokes to keep away attention.

He has good heart. He is afraid of himself.

“On it Alfred.

I’ll see if I can turn back the clock, so to speak.

S-sorry, I joke when I’m nervous. And I talk too much, now I’m rambling.

And those…things are-are…they’re blinding. It’s distracting. I—“

“Quite alright Master Duke. This is a trying situation for us all.

Let us ascertain the exact nature of the situation and if they are in any emergent danger.”

“Yes, that’s the plan. Thanks Alfred. What do you think Cass?”

“Jason protect. Danny good for him. Less anger.

The green is good.”

It’s very frustrating to have everything come out wrong. Changed. Different.

Mouths slander, but bodies don’t lie.

“Master Duke, do you require anything of us to utilize your natural ability?”

Alfred keeps moving forward, treading carefully over the crawling crackling ice and toward the epicenter of all this chaos.

“Just some quiet, if you could keep your voices down that would help. Thank you Alfred.”

It’s hard to focus with the enormous mass of transparent possibly sentient goo flying around everywhere.

A lot more of it…them? than everyone else can see, are flying around invisibly.

Danny is a special case. He doesn’t seem like a meta. He’s not magic, but not quite not not magic.

Danny almost seems trapped between two worlds. In the right place at the right time, if I get the correct angle he shimmers like a mirage.

I lean one way and he’s different, lean the other and he’s back.

It’s tricky to look into the past, but not nearly as difficult as sifting to find the most probable future.

This one is different though. It’s stuck. The past is very close but unreachable, feels like trying to turn a rusted fire water pump.

I’m getting frustrated.

I know I’m much more than my mega gene. It’s othering. I always feel set aside.

Batman doesn’t get along famously with metas, no matter what he says. Bruce thinks they’re cocky and trigger happy.

So. When my powers are specifically called upon and they don’t work out like they’re supposed to, it’s…a lot. Heavy.

I feel Cass’ hand on my shoulder. She squeezes three times, her nonverbal ‘I love you, you got this.’ I know she sees my thanks.

It took a while after I moved in to get used to her communication, but I’m thankful I put in the work. She’s the best of us.

I open my eyes. Let’s try this again, sometimes it just takes a lighter more consistent push.

At first I think I might’ve finally lost it, too much family drama and I’ll have to check back in later. ‘Cause I’m checked out.

But then I see Jason, Danny, and Tim are moving. Just infinitesimally slowly. This is new. New in this exact instance, is probably not good.

He wipes his palms on the pants he borrowed from Dick 2 months ago when he forgot to do laundry and subsequently forgot to return. Duke is warmed by thankfulness that he’s not also stuck in ultra slow motion.

He feels more than sees a presence approaching.

All the hairs on my body raise and my teeth chatter with the force of my cold chill. I suddenly know that the last thing I should do is turn around.

A slight hysterical bubble of laughter finds its way past Duke’s lips as he acknowledges that he is, indeed, every dumb character in a horror movie.

And that’s a bit petrifying, most bats have trained out their nervous laughter reactions, because…helloOo…Joker + traumatized emotionally constipated bats = no thanks

I should’ve caught it, I have been dozed one times too many by—an I-don’t-go-to-therapy-because-I’m-a-big-manly-man-and-no-that-isn’t-anything-like-silent-Bob-Batman—Jason having a trauma response.

Yes trauma response, not just “what can I say? I’m just a silly goofy guy.”

What I should’ve said was, Yikes, quoting TikToks Jason? That’s a lowbrow low blow move, even for you.

But I’m merely postponing the inevitable. Here goes.

In and hold and out. Just like Batman taught me.

One.

Two.

Three.

Turn!

It’s…nothing.

This has very literally never happened before.

Inky depth darkness laps up to the small piece of carpeted floor, still supporting Duke’s weight, now free floating in this seemingly eternal abyss.

I know that’s not me manipulating the shadows.

In front, at an indeterminable distance, I see the darkness shift into something much softer. A small light coming closer.

And I’m just hoping I survive to tell the tale. Because. Wow.

I will definitely be winning story week. No one will be able to beat this one at vigilante trivia.

It wasn’t there and now it…they? Are.

Gossamer strings of light reach out from a central mass, as if lazily swimming against a current.

The center of this vast creature shifts in and out, inward and outward, almost like it’s mimicking breathing, or a heartbeat…poorly.

It looks like a biological Hoberman sphere, the color of a white oil slick. Completely alien, ethereal, entrancing, and…slimy.

Small dark veinlike tendrils reach out, looking for something.

Probably me.

The only possible thing within sight.

I feel like this is the part in the movie where I should piss my pants or try to run.

But neither of those seem like particularly productive options.

“So, cool. Beautiful eldritchean horror, you got a name? Do you even communicate verbally?” I touch my chin like some off brand Sherlock Holmes, “Hmmmm, what are the odds you’d know English.”

That last part was much more to myself than the something? Someone? In front of me.

While I can never claim to be half as talented as Cass, I can discern most simple emotions with my sight. They have barely discernible texture.

Like the pavement on a hot summer day.

I see…humor? It has the same look as a kid blowing straw bubbles in their soda. No deception.

Despite the reassurance of the most definitely impossible-to-be-misinterpreted social cues of a godlike alien entity, Duke somehow doesn’t feel very assured. His heart presses against his molars and he can feel- no, practically hear, his blood pressure rising.

So he—that was incredibly presumptuous of me, just slapping human social constructs onto the face of a currently unknowable being; I just copy pasted human social constructs on this god? that a lot of us don’t even want touching us, gross—she?, xe?, they probably do understand, but maybe can’t interact well?

“I haven’t heard that one before, and coming from someone like me that is significant,” xir ultrafine filaments dance in silent laughter.

Their tone is bright and jocose.

“I see why Danny likes you,” you can hear xir smile.

While Duke can’t know know, that the deity’s promise of safety rings true, he feels his body calm.

And while his fight or flight reflexes have gone to null, he knows something is wrong.

That wasn’t him.

The words reverberate through my bones. Quite literally. It feels like my brain is doing the Macarena. And my field of vision vibrates, reminding me of that time in the interactive museum where they show you how sound wave affects sand.

It doesn’t hurt like it should, to be that loud, but wow.

Ouch all the same

What is anyone supposed to do if confronted with this sheer enormity? Duke could be demolished by a careless sneeze…if the thing sneezes-whatever, whatever.

The point is…the point is, this guy, this-this metaphorical-gender-neutral dude could have spread the atoms assembling everything that makes Duke, Duke a quintillion times over. But they didn’t.

And based on the comment xe made about time, probably put Humpty Dumpty back together again hundred times infinite more. Xe wants something from me.

“Okay cool. So you know Danny. Um, why? Sorry sorry, let me rephrase.

Do you know how to help him right now?”

He gesticulates at increasing frequency and emphasis, the longer he’s allowed to speak uninterrupted, “Because him and Jason have something weird going on and there are these green things…just everywhere.”

Duke pauses recollects himself, and continues with more control, “And no one understands what the fuck is going on.”

I finish with the single “fuck” -word I didn’t want to give in the entirety of my existence. Which, is hopefully not ending for that.

His arms appear to pose the question to the very void surrounding them.

“Sorry, sorry, we’re all just really concerned for our family.” I’m not sorry.

I try to at least look contrite for the being that could end me with a flutter of their lashes.

And not convey the increasing annoyance I feel at xir strange vagueness.

They just feel almost…almost smug.

“Quite alright,” there’s a sudden movement all around them. It appears more like an updraft pushing their thin tendrils and large mass closer to Duke, instead of xem moving under their own volition.

The booming is more of a croon, or what I can only guess is their equivalent.

It feels more like sitting between 2 cars blaring their music with the base turned all the way up, instead of sitting in the bell tower of Notre Dame…

Which, sad and all, oh no!!! history, but like? Still.

Eat the rich.

Maybe, just maybe excluding Bruce,…buuuuut he did 100% purposefully steal my sandwich—don’t believe his lies—so thin ice.

“I see you like to work with time,” their tone manages to sound both approving and questioning simultaneously.

“If you’d like to learn from a professional, I could put in a good word,” at that, the humor-texture increases tenfold. Duke is unsure how to interpret that last part, but he doesn’t sense any malice.

“When he wakes up, ask him about Kronos. And, give them some time to breathe before questioning them too too much.”

I’m getting worried for my physical well being at this point, and hell, maybe my spiritual one as well? The creature is within grabbing distance.

“Danny deserves the benefit of the doubt. After all, he’s saved this timeline on more than one stubborn occasion.”

At this juncture, the strange feather like appendages brush against Duke’s arms, they don’t feel like much of anything.

“This is your stop Duke,” unbothered and bemused as always.

Xe makes physical contact for the first time. It doesn’t feel much like anything, maybe just a cold wind.

Aaaaaaaand now they’re touching me. Ickhhhh, touching me, touching me, touching me

It doesn’t hurt, and I know, I just know they’re not making actual physical contact with my skin, but I feel something all the same.

Like millions of soft prickling feet along my…what? My spirit? Doesn’t matter, the soul spiders are taking up the majority of my existential crisis attention.

I try to play that make yourself look bigger, don’t look afraid card, but I instinctually step back.

Mistake. Biiiiiiiiiiiig mistake

O’ Icarus’ folly. Instant regret. Hindsight.

It was at that point Duke knew, he had truly gone and fucked up.

I should still be in the library! Viewing the past isn’t living it! Isn’t leaving!!!

So why am I falling Alice in Wonderland, rabbit hole style?!

Limbs akimbo back toward destination unknown, heart as falsely relaxed as ever.

The creature is further and further away; I know it’s looking at me despite the distinct lack of eyes.

I barely catch the last message, it makes that funny train horn sound effect, like when the vibrations causing the sounds are traveling away from you.

“All…should…be.”

Did I just-…Did I just meet god???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Somewhere a small neon yellow post-it note flutters daintily to the ground. It reads, Everything is how it’s supposed to be.

It catches the sight of a particular bat, and leaves them to their question stew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~—————————————————————

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. Please subscribe to the post if you want updates, I don’t mind to tag ppl rn because I have the spoons to do so, but that won’t always be the case.

I also just learned how to subscribe to posts this week. 😅🥲

On mobile you click on comments & it’s a little bell in the top right corner.

On computer(?PC???website? I’m sorry, I’m technologically illiterate😭) its: I absolutely don’t remember, but hopefully someone in the comments does.

Let me know what y’all think!

I’m planning on doing more writing prompts sometime soon and I might take some suggestions on storyline from the comments, maybe requests. Idk 👁️👄👁️

P.S.S. Also???? Why did I have to hold tumblr at plastic butter-knife-point to edit the format?

left me crying, laying on the floor like a scrambled egg

P.S.S.S. I tried my damndest with Cass’ & Duke’s characterization (diction, attitude, etc.) but alas, I haven’t read any of the comics. I’ve read about them, but not them.

So I hope they came through alright. I made Cass’ speech kinda stilted because…well her backstory, you’re here, you know it. I tried to do so respectfully, please inform me if I haven’t. I’m happy to take it down, edit,& put it back up.

I’m less familiar with Duke…he’s probably very OOC. If y’all have any pointers, I’m here for them.

Also, I don’t care if Alfred is a bit OOC, that man is a force of nature, and no one can tell me anything to the contrary.

[jaxon-exe]

Oh what this?? Another dp x dc idea?? U bet!!!!

So anyway, Danny gets forced to go to a gala with Vlad and is not happy about it. The whole night he is just dragged around by Vlad talking to person after person and he’s sick of it.

It isn’t until late in the night when the gala is almost over that he sees an opportunity to slip away and takes it. He doesn’t get very far out the door however when a hand lands on his shoulder and turns him towards a group of people in front of a car. At first he freaks until he sees who’s guiding him to the others. BRUCE WAYNE!! GOTHAMS FAVOURITE HIMBO WITH TO MANY CHILDREN TO KEEP TRACK!!!

Seeing this as the opportunity that this was he shut his mouth and let Bruce herd him into his gaggle of orphans, who took one look at him and went- let’s see how long it takes Bruce to notice.

A long time it seems. It’s now the next day and Bruce still hasn’t noticed the extra person at the dinner table. 

[1001aus]

Vlad doesn't think anything of it when he can't find Danny at the end of the night; it's not out of character for him to take off and leave Vlad at the gala and he's plenty capable of taking care of himself. But then Danny shows up in paparazzi pictures of the Waynes and everyone is speculating on the newest adoption and Vlad goes oh shit and begins attempting damage control.

Meanwhile it's day five and the Wayne family is split.

Bruce, of course, still hasn't realized there's an extra black haired, blue eyed teenager in the house. Dick assumed Danny just got picked up while he's been in Bludhaven, Jason is distracted by Red Hood business and doesn't go to galas anymore so he hasn't met Danny, neither has Tim who has been out of town with the Teen Titans. Damian would declare war except Cassandra won't let him because she noticed Danny didn't belong before they made it home from the gala and recognized that Danny's only goal was mischief. Alfred prepared a room for Danny because he's pretty sure that Danny will end up adopted if Bruce notices before Danny's parents take him back. Stephanie thinks it's hilarious because this is pretty much the same way she joined the family.

Week two. Jason has noticed and stopped by the manor for the specific purpose of meeting Danny and that alone has Alfred ready to keep him. Danny has just moved into some random rich guy's home and is eating his food, which Jason respects as a former street kid from Crime Alley.

Dick still hasn't realized Bruce doesn't know about Danny. Through a comedy of errors any time it seems like Bruce might catch on he mistakes Danny for Tim. Dick doesn't know that they are talking about different people.

Damian is keeping his distance because he sees Danny as an interloper and a threat to the family secret, but the others have been too welcoming for him to act without evidence. The only reason he tolerates this state of affairs is because Cassandra spends so much time around Danny.

Vlad can't even get close to the manor. Over the years Bruce has gotten the various magicians of his acquaintance to add magical protections to the house and now spirits that aren't invited in (as Danny sort of was since the family brought him) can't gain access. He's starting to think the Waynes might be a crime family, he suspects Bruce might be Penguin.

[dewdrop-gremlin]

This is unknowably hilarious, a cryptid of comedy.

I’m! fucking! losing! it!

Very sitcom of Bruce, the only thing that would add more chaos is if the Justice League get in on it.

Jon starts just showing up just for dinner at first, then sneaking around at any time of night, then in random and increasingly unlikely spaces, IN FRONT OF Bruce.

In the kitchen at 3am, eating his food.

He hides behind a door Bruce closes, and B just assumes it’s one of his menagerie of orphans trying to get the drop on him, because he’s reading a case file and he hasn’t slept in the last 84 hours.

Bruce has noticed that they’re up to something but their secret mayhem seems innocuous and he’s learned that it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie.

A cold chill runs up his spine when he recalls how it feels to be assaulted by glitter in the Batmobile’s vents, but the shiver he gets is remembering the talking down everyone got from Alfred for crossing the line.

He still finds bits of glitter in his hair after a long night. He swears its force is so strong that it’s the one constant through all Batman timelines in the multiverse.

On one memorable occasion, Jon walks directly up onto the ceiling as Bruce enters the library. Dick’s finally in on the bit and it takes all of his Robin training not to peal out laughing.

The closest Jon ever got to getting busted was when he was in one of the coat closets and Bruce put his coat away, possibly without detection, but definitely without comment.

Billy Batson stays a week at one point. And try as he might to get away without anyone hiding money and food in his belongings, he finds a magically (possibly an exaggeration, but with the serious skill involved in fitting it in there at all, much less without his notice, it’s difficult to tell) folded care package that included enough food, water, and toiletries for a week, also a sewing kit and waterproofing kit for his backpack that he refused replacement for. He knows only Alfred could’ve done it because those rich bitches can’t fold things worth shit and there’s the curious lack of tracking devices in it as well.

Conner Kent even makes a few guest appearances at half a handful of dinners and game nights.

Bruce has almost decided he’s had enough when he catches a couple League members peeking in the windows out of the corner.

When it comes to an absolute head, Bruce is about to have an honest to god intervention with his merry band of gremlins;

it’s bizarre, asinine chance that ends the fun.

Danny was exhausted. He’d just souped box ghost after having to loop around all of Gotham at least 3 times chasing Johnny around to catch him.

And oh, I don’t know. Kicking Skulkers ass a total of not 1, not 2, not 3, but 7 times in the last 48 hours, none of which he’d caught a wink of sleep in.

He’d known his rogues would get bored at some point but he’d honestly thought Vlad would be the one to ruin the game. He’s lost track of how long it’s been. He think he’s been unofficially adopted. By this weird, probably crime family.

He wasn’t quite sure Bruce hadn’t noticed and kept playing along, there’s no way even with this big house that he’s gone undetected for this long. It’s been maybe…2 months? Yeah, that’s sounds about right. He’s too tired to do any more math than that anyway.

He really hopes Batman hasn’t taken notice of his debut in the Gotham nightlife.

Who is he kidding, of course he has. He’s Batman!

He decides not to think about that and just phases invisibly into bed, the mattress giving an emphatic thump as he drops his transformation midair and is asleep before he even gets under the blankets, shoes and jeans and all.

Batman has been working on a big drug smuggling bust and been busy with Harley all week. He’s moved beyond exhaustion into a new plane of existence. He’s forgotten what not having to muscle your eyelids open at all times, feels like.

And there’s the troubling new meta that just pops in and out, out of nowhere. He knew there was a new player, most likely neutral, as they had only been spotted blurily, flying from a distance.

B has a hunch that they’re one and the same. The property damage had been minimal, but the power to go incorporeal seemingly at will is very…troubling.

But Batman is done for the night and Bruce is trudging up to bed. He hears some of his kids snickering in their rooms and doesn’t possess the energy to be a responsible caretaker and tell them it’s 4:00am and time to sleep.

Plus, they’d never let go of the hypocrisy.

No more thoughts he tells himself, no more thoughts until coffee tomorrow, he can dream can’t he?

He’s opening his door before he’s registered getting there. Bruce thinks (drats more thoughts?) that he’s quite possibly hit a new record of sleeplessness, or that he could ever hope to beat Tim. Damn he worries about that kid. But can’t think about that now.

Doesn’t bother to turn on the lights.

And doesn’t quite flop, Alfred’s taught him better than that, but sits heavily at the foot of the bed.

Two things happen.

There’s a loud yelp. And Bruce is across the room, batarang in hand because apparently he’s still halfway in his suit, sans cowl. phenomenal. ideal really.

Two green lights flash above the mattress. His vision hasn’t quite adjusted. And it takes a second for his adrenaline sleep addled brain to come up with…eyes. Lazarus green eyes. Ice water fills his chest. Not great.

A confused garbled, “Jason?”, is out of his mouth before he registered the thought.

Danny’s high squeak of “Batman???,” comes shortly after. He blinks out of visibility for just a second, nerves, and yep. He’s definitely screwed. Why did he ever believe that anything could go right? Danny should’ve known his Fenton luck would come into play soon.

The question finally filters through after what seems like a frozen eternity, “um No,” comes out much shakier than he would’ve preferred at the same time two voice exclaim, “wait what?!”

Now that Danny’s been awake for more than 30 seconds, he realizes that, although he’s in deep shadow, Batman is bare faced, just dead guy perks.

Thanks ghost vision for the pleasure of viewing my death: the sequel in 4D.

No way Batman is going to let him live if he’s comfy enough to let his hair down.

Noise

Lights glinting off metal

Commotion

Pandemonium

No one quite knows how to describe what happens next, and despite that everyone has their own batencdotes- baanecdotes- bantnodtoces- batfam campfire stories of this night.

Stephanie swears up and down that someone *cough cough Dick* brought a super soaker. But Barbara knows the truth, the whole truth. Did anyone really believe they were safe from the future groupchat shenanigans with mask cams in this family?

She’ll let them know one day. But just for fun, she already has enough blackmail for 3 lifetimes. Even on Damian.

The lights have long been turned on.

They’re all staring at each other, in various states of street and sleepwear, pointing like the Spider-Man meme.

This is my first time writing anything for fandom. Actually it’s probably the most significant amount of writing I’ve ever posted to the internet. If criticism, will cry.

Not proofread, couldn’t be bothered to reread it (wouldn’t have posted because I’d’ve been too busy with the anxiety monster consuming me like a snake, already up to my knees).

I’ve been but a simple lurker for years now. Might do a part 2 if anyone is interested or if it catches my fancy.

But for now, I have to do homework…that I’ve procrastinated…all semester. Because I’m an adult and I make fantastic decisions thank you very much.

[stealingyourbones]

Ghost king Danny gets summoned by Justice League Dark during finals week. It is the middle of the night, he has a physics exam in 16 hours and is bone tired and beyond done with everything and being summoned by a bunch of very powerful magic users who want to request assistance of the ghost king with some problem Danny didn't even KNOW existed 5 minutes ago is the straw that breaks the camel's back. And to his own mortification, he just starts ugly crying from all the stress.

The JLD are just as mortified when instead of the powerfull and regal king they were expecting to summon there is now a 18ish year old overworked and overburdened kid crying because they asked for his assistance. (The fact that the powerlevels coming off said kid indicate, that he is indeed the ghost king, and the ritual went just as intended, doesn't help.)

a complete 180 from “we need help” to all of their parental instincts going fucking haywire

[stealingyourbones]

What I’m trying to go for here: the first “ok” you hear from Maggie in this video as she lands a plane w/o a right main wheel on her first solo flight. Full video of entire flight here.

[atiyasnake]

It was late. One of the lightbulbs was flickering, there was an unknown buzzing sound. Danny hadn’t been able to shower after seeing that he had run out of body wash. His shirt had a hole in it and the others were dirty.

He stared at his computer, a finals paper so close to being done but the document was glitching out. Then there was the final the next day, he had been studying but could remember If a certain section was included or not.

His head was pounding and he tugged and his dirty hair.

Keep reading

[atiyasnake]

Somehow I managed to write a second part. It’s much longer soo enjoy<3 

~

The Justice League Dark didn’t enjoy summons. To summon something was to invite destruction, chaos, and complications that would tinge your soul for lifetimes. Various members had told each other to avoid them at all costs and to be prepared for anything when they had to do one. 

Summoning the Ghost King was something they could not mess up. Even going as far as to bar Batman from attending given the number of times that he was less than welcoming, and the Ghost King was a being that they could not offend. They could not afford to offend a being that would reign over your soul once your last breath left your body. A being that could raise an army of the dead or order ghosts to set their sights on the mortal plane and lay it to waste. A being that was said to be able to rip tears in reality and pull whatever they wished into its domain. 

The only bat present was Red Hood because they were in his territory for the summoning and the man was more than happy to throw a wrench in Batman’s plans. 

Keep reading

[stealingyourbones]

Ghost king Danny gets summoned by Justice League Dark during finals week. It is the middle of the night, he has a physics exam in 16 hours and is bone tired and beyond done with everything and being summoned by a bunch of very powerful magic users who want to request assistance of the ghost king with some problem Danny didn't even KNOW existed 5 minutes ago is the straw that breaks the camel's back. And to his own mortification, he just starts ugly crying from all the stress.

The JLD are just as mortified when instead of the powerfull and regal king they were expecting to summon there is now a 18ish year old overworked and overburdened kid crying because they asked for his assistance. (The fact that the powerlevels coming off said kid indicate, that he is indeed the ghost king, and the ritual went just as intended, doesn't help.)

a complete 180 from “we need help” to all of their parental instincts going fucking haywire

[stealingyourbones]

What I’m trying to go for here: the first “ok” you hear from Maggie in this video as she lands a plane w/o a right main wheel on her first solo flight. Full video of entire flight here.

[atiyasnake]

It was late. One of the lightbulbs was flickering, there was an unknown buzzing sound. Danny hadn’t been able to shower after seeing that he had run out of body wash. His shirt had a hole in it and the others were dirty.

He stared at his computer, a finals paper so close to being done but the document was glitching out. Then there was the final the next day, he had been studying but couldn’t remember If a certain section was included or not.

His head was pounding and he tugged at his dirty hair.

Keep reading

[dewdrop-gremlin]

Don’t mind me, scuttles away leaving a river of tears in wake. I didn’t need that heart anyway. 💔😭

[kuroishuuha]

DP x DC prompt - Midnight Muffins and Math HW

An immortal Danny finds himself making a home in Crime Alley

One of the first thing he notices is the disproportionate number of children (babies, they’re just babies) out on the street at night. 

Most Some of these kids look like they haven’t been to school in years.

Most Some of these kids have definitely skipped one too many meals.

Well Danny won’t stand for that.

With full access to the infinite wealth of the Infinite Realms and no longer needing to sleep, Danny opens up a 24-hr library cafe where anyone can come in for a hot meal and access to all sorts of books. He begins offering tutoring for the people who come in and also helps some of the adults apply to jobs. 

Danny definitely cries when one of the older teens tells him they are finishing their GED and applying to college because of him.

Now if only the creep in the red helmet could do something other than stare at him all night.

[dewdrop-gremlin]

I am constrained by the inherent limitations of human language in expressing just how very much I fucking love this. Fuck 😭

[spacedace]

So I've seen a lot of "Jazz works as a therapist at Arkam" in the dp x dc fandom, and while I like the concept, I also feel like Jazz would take one look at the place and immediately be like "what the absolute fuck" at just the everything of the place.

Like, she either nopes out after the tour during the interview or quits not too long afterward starting there, not because she can't take it but because she's so appalled by what's going on there and can smell the corruption rolling off the place and knows no one sent to there is ever actually going to get the help they need.

So Jazz decides to open a private practice instead while still being absolutely determined to work with the various rogues in the city, she is here to help and nothing is going to stop her.

So she just starts showing up at known hangouts of rogues and during their heists/schemes/sprees, and even fights between them and the batfam, just like

"Hi! It’s so nice to meet you! My name is Dr. Jasmine Fenton/Nightingale/whatever last name she’s using and I was hoping we could talk!"

Casually kicks a baterang away without looking because she's being polite and professional!

"I understand that your experience with therapy through Arkam has been nothing but atrocious and that you are rightfully -"

Kicks Batman away without breaking eye contact or a sweat.

"Suspicious of attempting therapy again, and Idon't want to force anything on you, therapy should be on your terms after the experiences you've had but -"

Grabs Robin out of the air as he leaps at the rogue she's talking to and tucks him under her arm, ignoring his feral hissing and all attempts to break her hold.

"-I really think that you'd find it beneficial, even if I'm not the right therapist for you."

The rogue in question is having the time of their life and takes Jazz's business card - and a few extra to pass around - not really intending to actually ever book a therapy appointment with her but way too entertained and excited to share this madness with everyone else.

But then one of the rogues actually looks up Jazz's website and sees all the various safe guards she’s put in place to ensure that any villians that come to her will be protected while seeing her - soundproof therapy room, regular sweeps for listening and tracking devices, the most insane firewalls and protections anyone has ever seen on her network, and ooh she provides snacks and drinks!

So someone finally books an appointment with her, half convinced she's either going to turn them in or is a villain herself intent to experiment on them, but then it’s actually really nice??? And they feel a lot better afterwards?? She doesn't even say anything to indicate that she wants them to stop being villains, she just wants them to be okay??

So more and more rogues start going to her, and Batman was already losing his mind about this woman before - Oracle can't hack her system?!? And her background check shows a totally normal Psychiatrist?? - but now half of Gotham's heavy hitters and a dozen or so other minor league villains are seeing her regularly and every time he tries to get info on any plans the rogues might be scheme via her office it fails utterly. Nightwing got knocked out with something called a creep stick and when he tried to break in himself to get answers she just appeared out of no where and gave him the most scathing lecture about doctor-patient confidentiality before bullying him off her property and threatening to sick her brother on him if he tried again?

And because she's become such a figure in the Gotham underworld, she gets the attention of Joker.

And everyone, rogues and Bats alike, are terrified that she’s going to try and take him on as a patient like she has so many other villains in the city and that's just a recipe for tragedy.

But then the Joker is on his way to the hospital with two broken legs and the fear of god beat into him babbling about eldritch nightmares and whenever anyone asks Jazz what happened she just shrugs and just says things like "I refused him as a patient, he's not my problem." Or "My brother doesn't like clowns." And just, does not elaborate.

Batman is losing his mind over it all. Jazz is just happy to be able to actually help the rogues. Arkam is less happy about how she absolutely destroys their reputation.

[actually-factually-autistic]

I am abso-fucking-lutely feral for this concept.

I’d like to think Sam funded & is making political/ business moves in Gotham, also working on connecting with Poison Ivy. 🪴

[blughxreader]

Do you think Damian collects animals to make puns off of the batfamily’s name:

Ex: Frog - Jason Toad

Duck - Duck Grayson

Snake - Tim Snake

He has a cow named Batcow so I don’t even think he’d be clever about it.

Bonus:

[xelity]

Bruce sends the family groupchat one (1) random 'i love you all' and they all instantly assume he's about to die. Damian falls to his knees in a Walmart and starts praying. Stephanie crashes her Spoiler van into a tree. Dick misses a jump and falls 3 stories into a garbage can. Duke calls his social worker.

Barbara starts tracking his location and live reporting to Cass. Tim gets his cloning tubes ready. Jason goes M.I.A. and is found three weeks later floating facedown in a pool.

Ten minutes later he sends: "Clark suggested I show my affection for you all more often. Apologies, won't happen again." and the world blows up instantly.

[dotjpeg]

peter and the hellspawns + miguel and mj

(click for better quality)

[dewdrop-gremlin]

I’m not entirely sure of the context of this, but why am I being called out by that shirt??🥲

[confusedlittlebastard]

DP x DC Prompt #2

Danny had been doing odd jobs and favors for Clockwork since the master of time had saved him from becoming his evil timeline self. He went to the past, did whatever thing he had to do to fix the timeline, then left. Some times, he walked through the Infinite Realms to get to whenever he had to go to. Other times, he just walked through the actual time stream while on earth to get to wherever he had to. Most times, he ended up needing to use both.

There he was, on one of the rare days he had to do something in his own time, walking arround as Phantom while time was so slowed he felt like he was in one of Clockwork's time outs. He was arround Missury for some reason, close to a city. Center Town or something? Pretty narcissistic if you ask him, but who was he to talk.

On another news, Barry Allen decided to patrol a bit when suddently he felt something massive through the Speed Force. Not big big as in, y'know, size, but more like big as in feeling. A big, dangerous aura. Whatever was making that, it was powerfull.

He went to check out what was making that because, even if it felt further from Central City than he was comfortable with going, whatever that thing was also felt a bit too cose for his comfort.

He ran as fast as he could, which was pretty darng fast if he says so himself, yet it was nothing compared to whatever the being that had the weird precence could do, apparently.

Something was outrunning the freaking Flash.

It was the first time since the accident that Barry had felt slow, and he decided he didn't like it one bit. To add insult to injury, he didn't actually catch up to it. It felt him, and decided to turn arround.

Barry was still inside the Speed Force when he felt himself almost disconnect to it. He didn't leave the Force, he just felt like he lost all control over it. Somehow, that felt even worse. It made him feel small and insignificant.

In less than a second, the being was right in front of him. It moved faster than what the Flash could see, while he was still inside the fucking Force. Was he freaking out? He felt like freaking out.

If he had thought the being's aura was suffocating before, now he was actively drowning in it. He realized that, if whatever he was staring at wasn't a god, it was something pretty close to it.

And it looked like a white-haired, green-eyed teenager in what looked like a hero costume.

Danny, on his end, is confused because this man is very clearly not a ghost??????? How???? Was he using the GZ's time manipulation thingy???? If he wasn't dead????????

Shennanigans ensue, Danny is confuzzeld and Barry is experiencing the Cosmic Horror Beyond ComprehensionTM experience and he is most definitel not having a fun time.

[dewdrop-gremlin]

Love this so much