serotonin creation initiative

https://ko-fi.com/redflagromance redflagship on AO3

[redflagshipwriter]

LINK MASTERLIST

This is for DC, Spider-man, and DPxDC stories. Other fandoms are on my other account.

Patreon Ao3 other Tumblr Ko-fi

DCU:

Nest Swap (finished!)

Baby Tim wakes up in Red Robin's apartment. He has a fantastic time about it. The bats are going to have to drag him out kicking and screaming.

masterpost tag is #red nest swap

DCU/Danny Phantom:

Housetrained (Snitches the Cat AU)

Tumblr post Archive sequel on Tumblr

Halfa Cass

masterpost here

Cass drags Captain Marvel over to check out a creepy empty town. They find the Fenton portal. They turn the power back on to the lab while they're investigating it. They really shouldn't have.

Tumblr tag is #red halfa cass

Mama Bat

(the one where Cass adopts Danny)

masterpost

Tumblr tag is #red mama bat

The next three are on a shared masterpost- 2 Jason/Danny stories, one Damian/Danny story.

Masterpost is here!

Check yes to go on a date with a dead guy.

Some villain sacrificed Batman to an unknown entity in another dimension, and the guy sent him right back with a "no thank you" pinned to his outfit. This is the funniest thing the bat boys and girls have ever seen. The robins have been sacrificing each other to the Ghost Zone for funsies ever since. One day, Jason gets sent back with a note saying that actually, Danny is interested in him, and they've actually all been relentlessly proposing to him with this bride sacrifice ritual. Oops.

Tumblr tag is #red check yes

Hot Ghouls in your Area

Jason is a little too cocky going in to shut down a cult and he winds up being human trafficked to the Ghost Zone as the ghost king's paramour. Danny doesn't have time for this, he actually wants to graduate college. They need a divorce, stat.

Tumblr tag is #red hot ghouls

DCU:

Full title: Hi, it's Tim (just Tim)

Tim gets rescued by Kon- he didn't need it, by the way. But Kon immediately has a crush on him. A crush on plain boring civilian Tim Drake. Well. If Kon is interested in Tim, surely he'd be willing to date Robin.

Tumblr tag is #red just Tim

Masterpost is here.

DCU/Spiderman:

Full title: Reassembly

Inspired by Dark Matter, Peter Parker wakes up post-snap in what the audience might recognize as uhhh an unholy experiment using Lazarus water. He escapes the facility and tries to get his feet under him in a whole new world that doesn't have a place for him.

Tumblr tag is #red reassembly

Masterpost is here.

[spirit-of-the-slime]

dpxdc prompt: Danny is a clone of...

Danny finds out he's a clone of one of the Gotham vigilantes, thanks to a random lore drop from his parents.

Problem is, he doesn't know which one, since his parents didn't remember or make a note of it, and the ectoplasm his DNA was dunked in upon half-dying makes any kind of blood work totally corrupted.

He's managed to narrow it down by excluding whichever vigilantes didn't appear until after his birth (creation? birth), but that still leaves too many to make much difference.

Still, he keeps a closer eye on news about Gotham's vigilantes, he's making comparisons, finding similarities, noting differences, between all of them and himself.

With his template being a vigilante but not knowing which, it's hard to attribute these observations to being a template thing, a vigilante thing, or a Danny thing.

He could spend all day analyzing masked faces for any shred of familiarity, but he's already having an identity crisis, and he has better ways to spend his time and bigger things to worry about. So the clone flavored crisis can sit in the back of his mind and wait its turn.

That works up until he gets a clone.

[balaclava-trismegistus]

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.

[papayafromtv]

unrealistic to me that at no point during Jason's time in the League of Assassins was there a period of Ra's desperately trying to figure out what the fuck brought Jason back to life inside that coffin and that at no point was there a conversation that was like,

Jason, on a medical table for the twelfth experiment that day: how do we even know it was me, though?

Ra's: what do you mean?

Jason, shrugging: like- maybe i was just in a magic coffin. maybe it had nothing to do with me, maybe it was my environment. have you ever read the book 'pet cemetery'?

Ra's:

Ra's: *squints deeply*

Ra's: no. if it was the graveyard then you wouldn't be the only person that came back to life. you're being ridiculous.

Jason: i dunno. maybe it was just that one specific patch of grass.

Ra's:

Ra's: hm.

Bruce finds out Jason came back to life way earlier than planned because halfway through patrol he gets an alert of a disturbance at Gotham Cemetery and when he and Tim get there it's to see Jason and Ra's in the dark with headlamps on next to Jason's now dug-up grave, dirt everywhere as Jason holds a shovel and Ra's holds the corpse of a dead chicken over the hole, ready to lower it, surrounded by league assassins either standing guard or holding notebooks and pens for if something actually happens and Ra's wants to take notes.

Damian is in the car with the window cracked wrapped in Jason's jacket and tiredly playing temple run on Jason's phone while he waits for them to be done so they can go home. when he sees Bruce arrive he sighs loudly and does up the window. Batman and Robin land in the graveyard and everybody freezes like the scene in ratatouille when the humans catch the rats in the kitchen, and it takes Jason two solid weeks to convince Bruce that no, they were not trying to replace his corpse with a chicken, they were doing science-

[oifaaa]

Just thought the funniest thing I think they could do with the new Dick and Jason's robin movie is to go back to pre crisis canon bringing back jasons circus origins and having all four parents die in the same acrobatics murder

[oifaaa]

I also think in this scenario they should combine the Graysons and the Todd's og deaths meaning all four do fall from the trapeze but then for separate reasons killer Croc releases a bunch of Crocodiles into the circus tent and they eat the remains

[quinoaphoenicks]

I love you guys but I think a lot of you are the kind of people who are susceptible to falling in with a cult.

[teaboot]

You’re right. We should all band together under a trustworthy and influential leader who can keep us safe from outside threats

[nycswebhead]

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

[nycswebhead]

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

[ciricearts]

small bat 🦇

[captain-price-returns]

They’re calling it the quote on British politics that ended the need for all other quotes

[scavengedluxury]

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[whetstonefires]

i have seen this post on my dash 7 times now and every time i think more loudly, 'this is what Batman villain The Penguin's dialogue sounds like when they let him be fun to watch.'

[sandersstudies]

*sees the icon of a mutual I literally never talk to* oh look it’s my Friend

[cambieart]

he’s smiling under the helmet don’t let him fool you

[s-aint-elmo]

an interest passing feels like being abandoned by the evil spirit that had taken possession of your body

[s-aint-elmo]

pulling out hanks of grass and sighing listlessly. i kind of miss being posessed. isn't there an evil spirit somewhere that wants to possess meeee

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[redflagshipwriter]

Reassembly 20

KANSAS IS SCARY.

masterpost

“There’s no buses!” Peter turned a full circle in outrage at Kansas. “It’s weird!” It wasn’t just buses– there wasn’t pavement. The long, straight road was only covered in dirt with two tire tracks down the middle, showing there was basically never traffic. It was as flat as the fields on either side. The area was devastatingly empty. He couldn’t imagine anyone waiting for a bus here or– how did they eat? There wasn’t a single store in sight. It was just weird!

“Yeah,” Kon said, edging away from him. “I did say that.”

‘I’ve seen pictures of Kansas and it wasn’t like this. I have, right? Haven’t I? I know they have towns. They have to.’

Maybe not! He felt less confident than he had an hour ago. Peter spluttered. “The skyline is so naked.” He shook his head. “It’s just not right, man. It’s not right.” He skittered towards his friend.

Kansas was a plate and he was served up on all sides. There was nothing to frame the skyline. There was a dull green line where the ground met a pitiless blue void of sky, not even a hill somewhere.

‘This is the creepiest place I’ve ever been.’ 

Luckily, there was a farmhouse and an old metal water tower within sight. Peter hustled that way along the dirt road and kicked up a distressing amount of dust on the way. Kon craned his head in every direction, apparently finding marvels in the corn on the left and the beans to the right. “That’s gotta be it.” Kon unlocked his phone to look at the GPS point and then nodded to reassure himself. “This is their house.”

‘As opposed to all the other nothing around here, yeah, I guess it has to be.’

The driveway was, like, a mile long. Peter stretched his legs out to take huge long steps. At least the weather was nice? It was 4:00pm and it could have been disgustingly sweaty in early June, but there was a decent breeze that kept him from suffering. The farmhouse had faded white paint and a red roof that matched the distant barn. There were four steps up onto a creaking porch and then a door that neither of them wanted to knock on.

“Did they know you’re coming today?” Peter wondered. “Like, I know they invited you. But did you actually mention that we’re coming now?”

Kon blinked. “No, why?” 

“Hello!” A woman’s voice came from inside. “Just a minute.” Rustling came from inside. A door squeaked when it came open, but it wasn’t the outside door. Peter blinked. Then the door opened and he saw a light-haired woman who actually looked nothing at all like Kon. She had a soft-featured heart shaped face with small blue eyes and just- she was just soft all over, with tiny hands and loose hanging skin on her neck. She was dark blonde with a warm skin tone.

Peter blinked between the two. They didn’t even have similar hair or skin color. ‘Kon looks like he was carved out of soapstone or something. Where’d he get that from?’

“Oh,” she said, voice choked. “You look just like Clark at your age. Come here, sweetheart.” She opened her arms. 

Oh. Clark, apparently. Was that her husband or Kon’s dad?

Kon looked at her with his mouth slightly open. It was like he had just stopped processing. Peter put a hand on his back and then Kon reacted. He stepped into the hug and- he sort of melted, actually. 

Kon’s grandmother sniffled into his hair, because actually, she was fairly tall for a woman. Five foot seven, maybe? Peter glanced into the house behind her, anxious for something to do and somewhere to look. 

“Oh, lordy.” She squeezed him. “You’re a sturdy boy. What are they feeding you over there in New York?”

“Pasgetti,” Kon said. He sniffled and immediately pretended that he hadn’t. “Peter taught me how to make garlic bread, so we’ve had that five times this week,” Kon boasted. He pointed at Peter with a thumb. “He can cook a ton of stuff!”

She let out a surprised laugh and pulled back a bit. Then her eyes landed on Peter. “You must be his friend, Peter. Thank you for coming.” She stepped back. “Excuse me. I’m Martha Kent. Pa- Jon isn’t here right now, but he should come in soon. Why don’t you boys come inside and get comfortable? Can I get you a drink?” They stepped through a linoleum entryway lined with boots and gardening gloves into a kitchen. 

A few minutes later, both boys were sitting awkwardly at a wooden table with tall glasses of whole milk while Martha sipped a cold cup of coffee. She had hot water boiling for tea. 

They all looked at each other. The atmosphere was painfully awkward. Peter was an outsider in a first meeting between two people who hadn’t the social skills for it. Martha and Kon kept glancing at each other at angles, stealing looks and then facing the tabletop or their drinks. Kon rotated the milk in his hands. Martha kept transferring her coffee cup from her left hand to her right and back.

‘Maybe there is a resemblance.’

A boot hit the porch and Martha shot up. “That’ll be Pa!” She hustled across the house yelling, “Pa! We’ve got some boys in here!”

“Boys?” a man answered. The outer door slammed shut and he scuffled around the entryway. “Where’d you pick up some of those? Don’t remember that item on the shopping list.”

“You okay?” Peter mouthed to Kon.

“Totally,” Kon mouthed back. He gave a thumbs up that Peter didn’t believe even a little. 

The kettle screamed. Both boys jumped and yelped. Martha hurried back in and cut the heat, then grabbed the kettle with an orange and blue potholder. She set it on the table in front of the basket of tea packets that were already out. “Mugs, mugs,” she muttered to herself. She flung open a cupboard and went up on tiptoes.

“Let me!” Kon hovered up and snagged mugs from a high shelf.

Peter drained most of his milk. He was about to have a new drink.

“Oh, thank you, sweetheart.” Martha gestured Kon down so that she could ruffle his hair. “One more, please, on the table?” 

The door squeaked open. Peter tracked the heavy sound of footsteps through the house, back stiff. Pa Kent paused in the doorway. Peter finally turned around and saw that this was also not where Kon got his looks, although it was less inconceivable that they shared genetics. Mr. Kent was a tall, broad-shouldered man in overalls with facial scruff over sun-ruddy skin. He was either older than his wife or less invested in sunscreen, because his wrinkles were quite deep. 

“Oh, my. Look at you.” He held a baseball hat in both hands and stared at Kon, shaking his head slightly. “You’re the very image of our boy. Are you planning to end up as tall as him?”

Kon straightened his back. “Taller.”

Mr. Kent nodded a few times, lips pursed. “Better stay for dinner, then,” he said. “Takes a lot of pie to make a big man.”

“Oh, they’re staying the night!” Martha poured hot water into four mugs and pushed one in front of Kon. “Right, boys?”

“Yeah, we’re free until work! We work at a supermarket,” Kon explained, grinning and talking too fast. “At night. I made 50 dollars last time!”

“You work?” Mrs. Kent sounded a little… Peter didn’t know what that tone meant. “You must be busy.”

“We have time until school starts,” Peter explained. He fidgeted under the table. “We work nights stocking shelves, Tuesdays and Wednesday nights. Sometimes Sundays.”

“Oh…” The Kents glanced at each other and then Mr. Kent cleared his throat. “You can come back on, then, for the weekend.”

“That would be lovely,” Peter said politely. “We do have an early morning appointment 5 days a week, though, so it’s hard to stay for long.”

“An appointment?” Mr. Kent echoed. His lips twitched in a barely averted grin. “What would that be?”

Oh, gosh. He didn’t want to admit it here.

“Sports-” Peter said evasively, but it didn’t matter because Kon bellowed, “Cheerleading!” He somehow managed to show all his teeth in a very white grin. “We met these girls on the beach playing volleyball and they recruited us because we’re athletic. This morning we went on a field trip–”

“I wouldn’t call it a field trip-”

“And we saw Red Robin and Robin and some men with guns!” Kon seemed thrilled about this. “I’m pretending to be normal, so we just sat there and waited really politely, and it was fine! The head cheerleader tased the guy, it was so razz.”

“Good!” Mr. Kent said, and he seemed to really mean it. “That’s adult business. You gotta finish high school, and then you can worry about men with guns and big crimefighting birds.” He scoffed audibly, as though the concept was absurd to him. Peter suddenly appreciated Mr. Kent a lot. Everyone in Gotham seemed to treat the Batman guys as just normal infrastructure even though they were actually really weird combat goths. (Robin aside).

Kon blinked at him. It took a moment to pick that apart and figure out what had stopped Kon in his tracks.

“We’re not going to high school,” Peter said for him. “We just took the SATs yesterday. We’re on the Gotham University cheer team.” He stressed that part, because it was important. High schoolers needed supervision and approval. University students captained their own ships or whatever.

“University?” Mr. Kent said, impressed, at the same time that Mrs. Kent said, “Gotham?” in a very different tone. They looked at each other and tried again. “Gotham?” he asked, while she said, “University!”

The visit was fine, honestly, after that. Kon’s grandparents were genuinely nice people. They shuffled the boys past a few family pictures on the wall into a television den where they whiled away a few hours having basic conversation and watching TV. Peter pulled out Kon’s laptop and went to work on his project. 

He felt, more than anything else, someone lean behind him to have a look at the screen. 

“...That some kind of video game?” Mr. Kent asked, bemused.

Peter let out a surprised snort. “No, uh, it’s work.” He scrolled up to show the header. “I’m making a webpage for a small business. It’s a contract job.”

“Are you- is this for a friend of yours?” Mr. Kent squinted at the screen. “A veterinarian friend?”

“No, I don’t know them.” Peter shrugged, wishing that he was somewhere private to work. He really needed an actual workspace. How was he ever going to make a marvel of modern science to split the universe open like a grape if he had to do it in Kon’s grandpa’s living room? It seemed rude to ignore people that long!

Luckily, Mr. Kent might have been some kind of mind reader. He hummed and said something polite and then went back to sitting near Kon. 

They had dinner together– a chicken soup with yesterday’s bread and a hasty salad pulled from the dark garden. It was easy to sleep in the strange silence of the country. Peter closed his eyes and heard Kon and the Kents breathing in their sleep. Wind pulled through the tassels in the corn field next door. Some medium-sized animal was sniffing around the property. It yelped, once, and ran off. The night went on like that, with not a beeping intersection, honking car, or screaming civilians in distress to be heard for miles and miles.

Peter woke groggily. He grabbed around the end table for something, and then realized that, actually? There was nothing he needed there. He had no phone and no glasses. So he stood with a creak of sore muscles, wiped the gunk from his eyes, and trotted down the stairs to see who it was drinking juice in the kitchen. 

“Morning,” Mr. Kent said. He kept his voice low. “I’m about to head out to see the cows. You wanna come?”

Cows? “Absolutely I do.” Peter hurried to get his shoes on. “I’ve never met a cow before.” 

“Cows?” The rush of air blew Peter’s hair back. “What? Where?” Kon stood in his pajama pants and nothing else, aside from ruffled hair. 

“Put a shirt on, son, and meet me out front. C’mon, Pete.” They made it out into the watery hints of first sunlight and up into a rusting blue truck. Kon zipped out after them and squished Peter into the middle, up on a sort of hump that wasn’t really a seat. They bounced down the same road that Kon had landed them on last night and made a turn a mile down.

Peter knew that because he asked, “How far away are the cows?”

And Mr. Kent answered, “Count, son?” He smiled, eyes pinned forward to the empty road. “Every road out here is a mile.”

4 miles away from the house, Mr. Kent pulled off the road into a grassy ditch and hopped out to laboriously drag open a heavy metal gate. Kon and Peter clambered out to help and then stood back to watch the truck back up. “The girls are coming!” Mr. Kent hollered. He stopped the truck bed a few feet away from a huge metal trough.

This was inscrutable until Kon twisted to look behind, into the meadow. Peter turned to see a group of brown and white bovines trotting across the grass. 

“They run!” Peter thrilled. “I didn’t know that cows can run! They’re always just standing around in milk commercials.”

Mr. Kent laughed. “Hereford, hereford!” He cupped his hands around his mouth and called. He hopped nimbly up into the back of the truck and picked up a shovel. “Breakfast!” He dug the shovel in and tipped some food out into the trough. 

Cows picked up major speed.

“Hop to, boys.” Mr. Kent held the shovel out expectantly. “There’s two in here.” 

Kon and Peter nearly flew up into the truckbed. They tore through the food in the truck bed. Mr. Kent put his hands on his hips and laughed while they worked. “That brings back good memories.” Kon whooped through the air to dump a huge amount in front of a particularly greedy cow. 

The sun was nearly above the horizon by the time they trundled back to the farmhouse. Mr. Kent turned off the truck, inhaled deeply, and asked, “Boys? Do you hear bacon?”

“I hear sizzling,” Kon offered. “Something is cooking in oil, at least.”

A huge grin spread across Mr. Kent’s face. “There isn’t a damn thing made in oil that I don’t like. Excellent tidings. Let’s go help with breakfast.”

All three men wiped off their shoes and then left them in the mudroom. They washed their hands one by one in the deep basin right inside the house and then hurried inside to see what was cooking.

“Good morning, boys!” Mrs. Kent had a blue housecoat on and her hair in a handkerchief. She was watching two pans. Peter took a curious sniff of the rich, hot air and breathed in- bacon, for sure, but scrambled eggs and… something sweet.  In his peripheral vision, he saw Mr. Kent huff a laugh and then grab a cloth to begin wiping the table. He sniffed once more, optimistically. Peter followed the smell to a grease-speckled paper bag. Kon was drawn in along with him.

Mrs. Kent hummed. “I should have known,” she said. “One of you should shake it, firmly but not too- actually, Peter, dear, shake the bag.”

“Yes, ma’am!” He was not at all unhappy to pick up the bag and give it an investigative shake. Oil, sugar, cinnamon? He was pretty sure there was some kind of donut in the bag and his mouth was already watering. 

“She doesn’t want me to do it because she knows I’m so strong,” Kon whispered. He lifted his left arm to flex–

“Kon, honey, set the table. Peter, when you’re finished, get milk and juice from the fridge.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Kon stuck his tongue out at Peter but hopped to it.

It was donuts!!! Homemade donuts!!!

“I’ll show you how to make them next time,” Mrs. Kent promised. “What do you intend to do today, boys? Have a project? Or would you rather keep me company today? I have an awful lot of weeding to do.”

Peter shrugged. “I’ll weed.”

[feldfrog]

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed to touch the hot stove with my bare hands. But now I get to do it whenever I want

[thevulturesquadron]

text: [ “Some of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing an essay, writing a eulogy, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we can’t do things we’ve been doing for 5000 years.” ]