SI VIS PACEM, PARA BELLUM

Well, I'm bored and horny

[cyberxbattalion]

don't try to be nice or kind, in this life always the first kind people and good people get fucked from other people

[dexian]

Just got passed by some lady who's fat kid I mistook for a dog.

[dexian]

remember, almost everything is fleeting and impermanent.

everything.

Even your feelings. Recurring feelings and status do happen, but it too shall pass. Moments of sadness, joy, sheer anger and everything in between.

Friends, lovers, hobbies and routines. All is ever-changing and that is the permanence that applies.

For example, the clouds do not stay in one place but rather keep moving until you can longer perceive them. You know they existed and happened, but their impermanence makes it so you don't dwell for long.

You yourself are impermanent, coming and going, not locked to a particular spot. Your emotions will feel permanent, but allow yourself the moment to let go and that too will change.

[dexian]

tumblr really ruined themselves over porn, but still do nothing about pornbots.

bravo.

[flork-of-cows-official]

[dexian]

[dexian]

ma'am. please dont try to intimate me. You are half my size and weight. I'm just trying to deliver the pizza you ordered while it's storming.

[squiiids]

Brandtini

“8 out of 10 smug assholes would recommend it but they’re too busy being smug assholes.”

1 oz Cognac

2 oz Sweet Vermouth

¼ oz Maraschino

1/8 oz (or more aptly, a splash or barspoon) Grenadine

Stir over ice and pour into a martini glass, optionally express a lemon peel over the glass, but discard the peel, and do not use it as garnish for a game-accurate look

Trying something a little different with how i present the drink. Let me know what you guys think of it

I’ve been struggling with what exactly a Brandtini would be for some time, since it’s sweet and not very strong at all, which is more or less the opposite of a Martini in every way I can think of. This morning, though, (partially due to a dream i had about Patton Oswald as a singing vampire bartender) I had a revelation. The Brandtini, a sweet, brown beverage served in something that might be a martini glass, might be a coupe glass, it’s not a martini, it’s a martinez. And as soon as I realized this drink’s built around maraschino liqueur and sweet vermouth, everything just clicked. The use of Cognac was inspired by the Classy tag on the drink, coupled with the fact it’s aged. I re-balanced the proportions of a Martinez accordingly to accommodate for a drink that’s mostly sweet and a little bit sour, and Lo and Behold, this thing is frigging delicious. I can say without an ounce of exaggeration this is not only the best Martinez I’ve ever had, it’s the best cognac-based cocktail I’ve ever had. The blending of cognac and sweet vermouth tastes completely natural, and the nutty, cherry notes from the maraschino perfectly play into it as well. The only big recommendation I can make if you try to make this drink yourself (Which I do, Highly recommend you do), be sparing with your grenadine. It’s only there to add a little bit of sweetness and tartness to the drink to make it a tad more game-accurate, but I honestly don’t think it’s all that necessary, and if I were making it for myself, I’d skip it entirely and try this with a few dashes of Angostura bitters instead.

[dexian]

hell yeah! loving this

[ampervadasz]

[uncle-beanbag]

That jump is the funniest shit

[brosef-von-dudehomie]

Reminds me of my very first day out to sea.

One of my shipmates sent me to the very prow of the ship, while we were navigating 30 foot swells, on a carrier.

I tripped over a knee knocker and fell up towards the overhead, before suddenly being slapped into the deck.

[thesassyducks]

These ten ducklings were found orphaned and they were brought to a pet duck called Stella who had just hatched nine of her own two weeks prior. She immediately claimed the ten as her own. 

via @thesassyducks​ instagram

(Source)

[kindness-and-sunshine]

she released those babies like a ramen flavour packet

[kelssiel]

love how stella swims over like “oh shit i must’ve misplaced these ten whole babies!”

[azzandra]

Love how the li’l ramen flavor packets swim over like ‘oh shit that must be mom, she’s mom-shaped’

[dexian]

if you're a guy and you're named Kelly and not the owner of a bar nor Irish, then I'm going to assume you're a toxic piece of shit.

Irish Kelly's are cool tho.

[but-dude-why]

[queer-world-666]

Me and my mutuals rebloging the same post

[dailydestieldose]

Quick, everyone reblog this

[redbullracingrenault]

I can’t stop laughing

[dexian]

why are potheads so fucking defensive about their precious weed? you mention that any smoke inhalation is bad and they just "NOOOOO NOT MY WHOLESOME 100 PLANT! ITS MEDICINE! ITS JUST A PLANT!"

Yeah, so is nightshade. you gonna smoke that shit?

inb4: "muh medicinal value". Yeah, it's called cbd oil and similar products, not high-THC strains

[jaubaius]

🔥 A giant curious moose inspecting a wildlife photographer 🔥

[mornington-the-crescent]

Never forget: Moose are legit Ice Age megafauna that never died out.

[dr-falcon-fox-and-coyote]

He just….just….pet the wild moose…the bravery, the hutzpah

[thegreenmeridian]

The forbidden snoot!

[cipheramnesia]

Humans will pet great white sharks, bears, killer whales, giant hornets, tigers, and anything else given the opportunity. Moose are not exempt from petting.

[dexian]

fuck you

why have a waifu when you can have waif material

reblog this now.

[paxamericana]

[betterhaircut]

[studthismuffin]

He didn’t stutter

[doubleca5t]

RIP King

[sinkinginthepee]

some day ill be able to post this on thursday

[adulthoodisokay]

it’s out of touch thursday