@dextresso - Tumblr Blog

Regiglue

An actual conversation I heard:

Little Kid 1: What if there was a fighting type Eeveelution called Beefyon

Little Kid 2: That's stupid. Shut up.

Little Kid 1: you mock what you do not comprehend, brother.

transstuffandmore

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

bees-and-voids-deactivated20210

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

i-am-still-purple-sorta-deactiv

Of course it is.

the-real-goose-man

It is not safe for anybody.

run

justc0smicdu5t

Fair, as long as it’s equally unsafe

dextresso

listen pal if shitposts that have nothing to do with literally anyone or anything are offensive then I will respect your decision and make changes to my posts because your opinion matters have a good day.

Y’all ain’t ready for this

The same company that made the PS5 also made the bee movie

I fixed heracross

#pokemon #heracross #amputee

Ok but what if Moby from brain pop was replaced with Bender

Like, imagine this interaction

Tim: Bender would you like to explain geometry?

Bender: yeah a rectangle is the shape of my shiny metal ass.

#brain pop #futurama #bender

Power Move:

If you ever get cheated on, tell the cheater to give you the number of the person they cheated with

ok but what if..

What if we had a reboot of the 1rd Halloween Movie, but we replace all the people who acted as Michael Meyers with the actual Mike Meyers, and whenever he got close to a victim All Star by Smashmouth starts playing, getting progressively louder as he gets closer, and inevitably kicks them out of his swamp.

#halloween #shrek movie #smash mouth #mike meyers

wait no that’s my emotional support hydrogen bomb uwu don’t take it away

ok so today me and some of my friends were playing street hockey just for the heck of it, and my really competitive friend just absolutely went off, and hit the ball really hard. When doing so, his hokey stick legit just broke off of the part you hold, and hit another friend directly in the shins. And then like the VERY NEXT SECOND, he also broke his and sent it flying towards me. As you might guess, mine also broke and hit someone else in the shins... So yea that’s how I accidentally turned hockey into projectile warfare...

Making it Big

Alvin: Ok can I have a segment on Tasty? I have some great ideas that are sure to take off!

producer: [snorting another line of coke] Look scrap all those just make everything, like, fuckin huge.

#Tasty #MakingItBig #alvin zhou

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

flippin love trees with buzzcuts

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

no TREES. buzzcut trees. trees given buzzcuts

hwardlaunch

You’re stressing me OUT please elaborate for the love of all that is HOLY

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i really do not know how it is humanly possible for me to be more descriptive or accurate??? my use of language is flawless???

bonus: when yer hair grows out during quarantine

rpmaniac

It’s called pollarding. Dates back to antiquity. Historically common in walled cities where room was limited, keeping the the trees small and harvesting wood and branches without killing them. Poor people were also allowed to pollard branches from common land and royal forests for fuel in some areas.

Nowadays it’s often ornamental, though it can also increase the lifespan of the tree by keeping it partially juvenile, as well as less dense and top-heavy, thus less likely to be brought down by winds.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

that’s really interesting! but actually what’s featured here is called TOPPING.

It is literally called tree topping.

It’s cheaper & more destructive than pollarding (pollarding promotes growth while topping damages the tree). It results in unhealthy trees, so you shouldn’t do it, even though it looks funny and has a HILARIOUS name. just fucking golden. absolutely farcical. rib-tickling

beesarebadkissers

Making the horrendous life decision to read your tags is always a welcome mistake

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

my tags, as always, are impeccable

dextresso

How have I never thought of Gaud as a nature guy? Like, I see how apparent it is now, but holy hecc. Also, what are your opinions on the fall colours of trees?

OK JUST HEAR ME OUT

we need a pokemon game with the only type of pokemon are the ones with the build of Snom, Pincurchin, Pyukumuku, etc. I will not take constructive criticism.

#pyukumuku #snom #pokemon