Can I talk about something that makes my heart both melt and stop?
The way Butches get nervous around Femmes.
My roommate is Butch, and she wont hold hands with a Femme unless she iniates, because she doesn't want to push her, and on one hand that is so sweet, but also hurts, because the world has told her she is so predatory for loving women and wearing slacks, that she is scared to touch Femmes.
And I think this concept, that Butches are scared to be perceived as threatening or predatory, is deeply ingrained in our culture. That masc. women are scared to touch us.
Butches are told over, and over, and over again that they are freaks, and predatory, and male-wannabes. That the way they look at us, as other lesbians, is bad, and the way they want to touch us is worse.
And the result is that every. Single. Butch. I have ever been with, whether its a one night stand or a first date, waits for me to touch first. To guide her in how to touch me. And every Butch I have ever dated apologized for it.
But the thing is, I don't mind. I dont mind putting her hand in my hair and showing her how hard to pull, I love the look of awe on her face as she learns that I want to take what she wants to give. I dont mind grabbing her hand and confidently pulling her next to me to walk, because it makes her swagger and steps more confident. I dont mind showing her that she is allowed to touch me, because there is no feeling like that of a Butch.
