So... I saw this post earlier, and I wanted to talk about it. I understand where this person is coming from but the ideas expressed aren't done in a productive manner nor are they fully accurate.
1. MAP ≠ Predator, MAP ≠ Pedophile in all situations
MAP is an umbrella term for all people with chronophilias related to those under the age of consent as well any attraction to those under the age of consent whilst you yourself have a significant age gap. Pedophilia is one form of paraphilia under this definition. It also includes infantophilia, hebephilia, and ephebephilia. These may not be important distinctions when it comes to the harm caused by actual relationships between children and adults- but it is an important distinction for paraphilia both disorder and non-disordered as the criteria for all four are different. Many of us who do use the term use it not as a way to try and hide the fact that we have a paraphilia but rather as a way to express our experience and belonging to a minority demographic that often struggles to find community, acceptance, and safety. Not acceptance for predatory inclinations or behaviors- as that is not inherent to being a MAP, but rather acceptance for being people with an attraction we cannot control.
I need acceptance to help me not to kill myself. I need friends and family who understand that I am not a danger and can be there for me when I feel like I don't deserve to exist. I deserve to be able to eventually have my own children because something I developed from being raped and assaulted repeatedly since I was a child shouldn't be a death sentence to one of the most important things to me.
The majority of MAPs would not and do not prey upon minors. MAPs are ultimately adults who are aware of the fact we hold massive power over children both because of the legal system, the position in their lives, and the maturity differences that equip us in ways that no child can be expected to be. I know first hand the harm from even 3-4 year age gaps between teenagers. I would sooner swallow uranium than ever pursue anyone underage. Hell I get uncomfortable with the idea of being with someone who's 18 because even that feels too young to me.
MAPs are capable of being predators, just as any demographic is. If someone is justifying being with a child that's because they're a child abuser. That is a rapist who feels entitled to sex regardless of consent. That's someone who is a danger to everyone regardless of age. Them being a MAP likely just contributed to their choice of victim.
I just fully agree with this point. "Transnazis" are just objectively bigots and should never be tolerated.
I do think there's a common occurrence of children labeling themselves as AAMs when they do not have teliophilia, mesophilia, or gerontophilia. I personally have mesophilia and have had it since I was a child. However- the majority of the time children having a crush on an adult is normal and is not specifically nor inherently paraphilic. I think the absolutely most vulnerable demographic seen online in paraphilia spaces are AAMs as unfortunately the predators who do lurk in these spaces see it as an easy sign of a target. Children are far more likely to not understand the dangers of such a relationship and this be open to it.
It is our duty as adults in paraphilia spaces to do something if we see a child being taken advantage of. Some self identified AAMs will do things such as attempt to sell images of themselves or seek out active predators- these cases are ones that should be reported to the socials they are on and any adults actively engaging with them should be reported to authorities. I am someone who has had to report someone I knew, who was also abusing me, to NCMEC and calm the police on them. The second you find out about something you immediately act.
I do fully agree with the idea of getting active abusers out of communities with vulnerable people. I believe people can become better and deserve community and safety when they are better and no longer a danger- but their victims have no need to ever forgive them. For example the 19 y/o who groomed me when I was 15 was terrible- but if he genuinely grew out of it and changed, if he poses no danger, I don't want him removed from community. Bigots also shouldn't be welcomed around minorities. Ex-bigots however can be. But that doesn't mean they have to be forgiven.
5. Enablement & Encouragement
I do believe that harmful behaviors shouldn't be enabled and encouraged. For example I have Schizoaffective disorder, affirming my belief that someone was secretly planning to murder someone and I had to act or I'd be literally a murder was not something that should've been encouraged by others especially when I did real harm in what I perceived as an act of justice. However in a case like this with the information in this post it seems this is a claim that accepting people like me a necro and MAP, is harmful. I am not endangering myself or others by discussing living with a paraphilia or enjoying fully fictional content.
Again most MAPs are not abusers. Most MAPs do not have urges to abuse children- and even then most people with urges do not act on them and can get help to be able to never harm themself or others. I'm someone who has homicidal ideation as a teen. I never actually murdered anyone.
The real issues with enablement would come into play in spaces that are pro-c and encourage rape. I honestly at this point want to start referring to pro-c spaces as the rapist community because that's exactly what it is.
6. Mental illness doesn't make you queer
I do want to be clear that paraphilia is not inherently a mental illness. Disordered paraphilias typical require either urges/a risk of causing harm to another via sexual abuse or significant distress. For example- if I were to get fully through therapy and no longer have distress I would not be experiencing a paraphilic disorder anymore, just a paraphilia.
However I do agree with the idea that paraphilias aren't inherently queer. I don't want being a necro or a MAP to be added to the LGBTQ community.
I do deserve help for what I'm going through and I also deserve to be told everything is okay and I'm not evil. I do deserve to be told I shouldn't kill myself.
What shouldn't be seen as okay is abuse and rape. That's the harm.
Note: If you find out who the OP is do not under any circumstances bother them. This is a child who's dealing with trauma from being groomed by pro-cs/offenders. This is a child who deserves space to heal, and is lashing out with paramisia because of how their abusers conflated being a para with their abuse of them.
