I got 99 problems, but dice ain't one.

Sup. I may be Lisa. I'm a 30 year old with an, uh, eensie bit of a dice obsession. ((Send help.)) I also like to make really cute dice bags for fun on the side. Check out my etsy if I have any up for sale!

[jaynotnow]

after tusk love, i can see jester inserting herself and her friends & crushes into the books she reads, so here is a sample of some of them she finds in chastity’s nook and around wildemount. yes jester is standing on a box in most of these to be taller, yes making the author names was so much fun, and yes i love like every jester ship

[yashaslilaceye]

Caleb every time he talks with Jester

[nourgelitnius]

me: *puts on widojest glasses*

me: if yasha was alluding to astrid she would have said her name out loud. but if it were someone at the table, like jester, it’s more likely she would have talked around naming the person she was talking about, especially if no one has talked about it out loud yet. In this essay I will...

[yourplayersaidwhat]

I’ll take two copies of Orc Back Mountain.

The Dragonborn Sorceress buying smut at the bookstore

[thedicepaladin]

The DM when you wanna fuck the monster:

[dnd-homebrew5e]

Just started imagining a Necromancer using their magic to create undead for the sole purpose of creating a musical number and they need back up dancers for their song solo.

[jared-the-dm]

[thepokeduck]

[neomikey]

[silver-tongues-blog]

Ah yes, the necromancer subclass: necrodancer

[canadianstuck]

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

[ournameisfun]

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

[sammysausage]

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

[windyvalleyzone]

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

[jxhn-mulaney]

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

[lovelydeck]

I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dog’s name. Upon hearing the dogs name was “Blanket” he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

This is my favorite version of this thread now

[nikanono]

“I could be her beacon" 

 That whole episode had a lot of emotional baggage not gonna lie. I loved it ;-;

[elderly-scrolls]

the mighty nein as pictures of kermit the frog

by unpopular demand, a sequel to this post

fjord:

beau:

caleb:

nott:

jester:

molly:

caduceus:

yasha:

[hustlerose]

ur in the club and the dj starts blasting this what do u do

[yo-its-matt]

start blasting too

[skidar]

Purely self-indulgent art tonight cause I’ve had a bad mental health sorta day and wanted to look at something nice and chill for a while. I think it worked. When I was little I used to draw deer all the time <3

[sephiramy]

The Mighty Nein: Flower Crown Edition, version 2. 🌼

[fletchergames]

[thedicepaladin]

When one party member has an animal companion and they have to roll a throw/check:

[greytailzawritesthings]

I have come to realise that there are only three types of DnD players in regards to dice.

Halflings: I’ll just borrow dice off my friends

Elf: I have 1-3 carefully selected fancy dice sets that I use for everything.

Goblins: the shiny math rocks make click-clack sound. Needs the more. All the more.

[diceyboiz]

I guess my next character should be a goblin!

[aesthetically-yellow-04-deactiv]

[rtrixie]

Develop a roomba that reacts to being petted and you’re going to make bank with millennials

[heatandapathy]

Don’t forget to give it a little screen so it can flash up emoticon faces.

*bump into wall* >_<

*gets pet* :3

*low battery* ;_;

*stick on a ledge* D:

*sucks up something it’s not supposed to* >:3c

[zforzelma]

I loathe how badly I want this.

[shmreduplication]

There’s a lil food delivery robot at uc Berkeley campus that does this and one spontaneously combusted last week and the students had a candlelight vigil on the middle of finals week