it's just trash

just reblogging memes or vaguely interesting stuff.

[liberalsarecool]

Conservative paternalism is gross.

78 year-old adulterous rape culture icon and child molester rambling about fertilization is like music to the ears of MAGA.

[guerrillatech]

[guerrillatech]

[winter-wise]

I'll never be over the fact that Nevarra is Weekend-at-Bernie's-ing its literal monarch, and when Lucanis asks about why King Markus has survived his many, many, many assassination attempts, Emmrich (who knows damn well the guy's a corpse) keeps up the pretense with "oh he's just in great shape for his age :)"

[rainia]

have you heard of it!! it's called safe following distance on freeway. yeah it's the new trend that all the. cool&fuckable people are doing. or so ive heard. anyways probably worth trying

[anxietyproblem]

[msrinran]

ROBBED We could have it all

[queenmuzz]

So, which non romancable NPC in DA:V do you want to bone?

Strife

Irelin

Viago

Teia

Evka & Antoine (No you do not get a choice, they come as a package)

The Viper

Tarquin

Vorgoth

Myrna

Rowan

Other: (please specify in tags)

Voting ended onNov 22, 2024

[densewentz]

Girl Dinner

[beaulesbian]

that escalated quickly

[wabart]

big wet eyes

[mohntilyet]

imagine being illario and finally finding the resolve to kill your cousin right. you seduce and fuck a blood mage venatori magister to get her to do this for you. you figure you’ll eventually kill her once you are first talon, tie up the loose end and make it look good for you. a vengeance story! except when your cousin’s body shows up your grandma retreats into herself presumably out of grief and you’re like jesus christ he’s a corpse and still the favorite. at this point you start feeling some regret and at the wake you’re beside yourself. it helps to be really feeling some of that to fool everyone else. but months pass and your grandma still isn’t even discussing the inheritance and you have to be normal because you don’t want to incriminate yourself. and then a year later some random guy (worse if its a de riva tbh) shows up saying they need your cousin to kill an elven god (what.) and he’s the only one who could (insulting). and its at this point your grandma is like “lucanis died… but he is not dead!”. record scratch freezeframe. while you juggle with the fact that the freak woman you fucked specifically to get her to kill your cousin didn’t even kill your cousin AND your grandma didn’t bother telling you (for good reason ofc but she doesn’t know that), you have to lead these assholes to go save him and unravel your hard work. so plan b. you kidnap your grandma and push your (now possessed) cousin away (and then get mad when he actually walks away. because you’re like this). and when your cousin comes dangerously close to figuring out what’s happened with you and the magister, you kill the magister. you ally with those elven gods and venatori (you aren’t sure how you’re going to get out of this one but it’s fine. that’s a hill for future illario) to make sure you have enough backing to stand up against the other houses if they challenge you becoming first talon. you continue to gaslight your cousin into staying away, because if there is one thing you can count on, it’s his literal inner demons and total lack of a support group, you’re certain he’ll fuck it up by himself. you know this because his support group used to be your grandma (dubious) and yourself (lol). you’re almost home free. and caterina will definitely acknowledge you as a player on the board. which isn’t important but it would be nice, right. BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT. YOUR COUSIN HAS RECENTLY MADE 7 FRIENDS. one of whom can speak to the fucking dead because of course he can. and then some of those friends show up to publicly humiliate you at the dinner party that should have been YOUR crowning moment. your grandma ALSO shows up to tell everyone you have gathered that your cousin is first talon. your cousin gapes at her because he doesn’t actually even want it so it’s kind of awkward for everyone. and then when you’re sure he’s about to ask viago de riva to poison you to death, he actually tells him just to take you away. because OF COURSE he’s being the bigger person. anyways the point is i’m surprised illario just lets himself be taken away because if i were him i would have started biting people and then bombed the villa

[mohntilyet]

imagine being illario and finally finding the resolve to kill your cousin right. you seduce and fuck a blood mage venatori magister to get her to do this for you. you figure you’ll eventually kill her once you are first talon, tie up the loose end and make it look good for you. a vengeance story! except when your cousin’s body shows up your grandma retreats into herself presumably out of grief and you’re like jesus christ he’s a corpse and still the favorite. at this point you start feeling some regret and at the wake you’re beside yourself. it helps to be really feeling some of that to fool everyone else. but months pass and your grandma still isn’t even discussing the inheritance and you have to be normal because you don’t want to incriminate yourself. and then a year later some random guy (worse if its a de riva tbh) shows up saying they need your cousin to kill an elven god (what.) and he’s the only one who could (insulting). and its at this point your grandma is like “lucanis died… but he is not dead!”. record scratch freezeframe. while you juggle with the fact that the freak woman you fucked specifically to get her to kill your cousin didn’t even kill your cousin AND your grandma didn’t bother telling you (for good reason ofc but she doesn’t know that), you have to lead these assholes to go save him and unravel your hard work. so plan b. you kidnap your grandma and push your (now possessed) cousin away (and then get mad when he actually walks away. because you’re like this). and when your cousin comes dangerously close to figuring out what’s happened with you and the magister, you kill the magister. you ally with those elven gods and venatori (you aren’t sure how you’re going to get out of this one but it’s fine. that’s a hill for future illario) to make sure you have enough backing to stand up against the other houses if they challenge you becoming first talon. you continue to gaslight your cousin into staying away, because if there is one thing you can count on, it’s his literal inner demons and total lack of a support group, you’re certain he’ll fuck it up by himself. you know this because his support group used to be your grandma (dubious) and yourself (lol). you’re almost home free. and caterina will definitely acknowledge you as a player on the board. which isn’t important but it would be nice, right. BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT. YOUR COUSIN HAS RECENTLY MADE 7 FRIENDS. one of whom can speak to the fucking dead because of course he can. and then some of those friends show up to publicly humiliate you at the dinner party that should have been YOUR crowning moment. your grandma ALSO shows up to tell everyone you have gathered that your cousin is first talon. your cousin gapes at her because he doesn’t actually even want it so it’s kind of awkward for everyone. and then when you’re sure he’s about to ask viago de riva to poison you to death, he actually tells him just to take you away. because OF COURSE he’s being the bigger person. anyways the point is i’m surprised illario just lets himself be taken away because if i were him i would have started biting people and then bombed the villa

[tkwritesdumbassassins]

I love them your honor

[a-stale-donut]

It's difficult to concentrate on spell casting when there's an Antivan short king behind you, gushing over your kills and tossing out compliments left and right...

[crowinkwriting]

Lucanis: My Rook.

Spite: OUR Rook.

[kabsey]

so in the almost-kiss scene, lucanis suddenly displays this confident swagger as he boxes rook in against the wall. and don’t get me wrong, it’s hot af, but it does contrast with some of his other behavior. and right when his rizz is absolutely rizzing, he stops. he seems to have a revelation of some kind and he panics and leaves

since we unfortunately never get an in-game callback to this moment, we’re left with no canon explanation of his thought process at that moment

what we do know is that he considers rook his first real relationship. however, i’d be willing to bet that he is trained in seduction to a certain extent. after all, it’s a very useful strategy for getting close to a mark. and even if lucanis never used it much (or at all—and he certainly never used it as casually as illario), the training is there. and in a moment of emotion, it just… kicks in

but then, either because of his own conscience or perhaps a dig from spite, he realizes what he is doing. and he’s thrown. he cares about rook, he wants to tell them, but all he has to offer is this fake playacting that does not truly show his heart

and that is not good enough. not for rook

so what does he do? he finds a way to show his feelings in a more authentic way. a more personal way. he cooks for them. cooking is a skill he gained because he wanted to, not because caterina made him learn it. and when rook says he didn’t have to do that, he immediately contradicts them

yes, i did

he did need to. he needed to share what he feels in a way that he knows is his and no one else’s, a way that feels untainted by all his other baggage

and when rook responds with genuine happiness and appreciation, he feels seen and loved for who he truly is. and from then on, he is theirs, body, mind, and soul