Consistently Inconsistent

'94 Liner. Cancer. INFP.

[seren-starlight]

Outside you there are two wolves. At least. Probably more

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[3000s]

[redstonedust]

unexpected benefit of having to use a vpn is sometimes i get ads that are entirely in french, which makes it like 200% easier to ignore them. cant advertise to me if i dont understand a word of it. life hacks.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[notahorseindisguise]

everytime i wear an outfit like this i think about this tweet

[pikamusume]

[sharkgirldick]

So what makes a butcher knife more butch than other knives?

[nature-nerd-sarah]

The knife itself isn't necessarily butch. It's named that because it's wielded by a butcher, who is more butch than the other food shop owners

[sharkgirldick]

Hmm, I see.

What, then, makes the butcher more butch than other food shop owners?

[dragongirlbunny]

the knife

[c0rpseductor]

I AM SO SICK OF GETTING EMAILS FROM FUCKING CHRISTIANBOOK.COM!!!!! you buy a playmobil figure of martin luther ONE TIME and they’re all over your dick for years telling you about their bible specials. it’s over! i don’t have feelings for you christianbook.com i just wanted a single night of pleasure! it was a one night stand with protestantism!! 

[hotvampireadjacent]

Why did you buy a play mobile Martin Luther

[c0rpseductor]

i thought he was funny your honor

[parakeet]

[mustardhat]

Martin Luther’s 95 pieces

[dogpuppy]

[podcastwizard]

hey sorry it's just that i don't think i'm very good at being a person. thanks for letting me try with you, anyway.

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[earhartsease]

so our friend who goes by Irregular Joe in robot wars circles has crafted The Luggage, who is "a 13.6kg sportsman featherweight"

just look at it go!!!!

sound on, by the gods

[sludgebitch]

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

[starofhisheart]

Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible

[crazysodomite]

[erratic-meowmeow]