if i look back, i am lost
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indie rp blog for takahata shun of kamisama no iutoori/as the gods will
i’d love it if you meet me there; new blog! zacharias will be put to rest until i finally revamp him, wholly so. don’t worry, he’ll come back someday! the dash is dead anyway orz. ‘till then!
corrigez-moi si j'ai tort, mais...
sometimes, ivy wondered if the school board thought she had too much time in her hands, thus making her check on the other french teacher in the school, zacharias griffins. she had spoken to him plenty of times, and already spoken that he was a superb teacher, yet the board was insistent, pulling away from her already mountains of schoolwork. the blonde had given in, in the end. what other choice did she have? on the bright side: it let her poke around for fun and see how her companion truly was in action, teaching.
she returned the smile, pulling her shoulders back under the curious watchful eyes of the students, obviously eager for any sort of distraction to escape the class. a low and small laugh left her lips, offering a dry smile as she put a hand on her hips, speaking quietly. now, how does one put this in the most gentle of terms?
“would you believe that this isn’t a social call? unfortunately, I’m here to check on your on your class. see how you’re doing, teaching wise. sous les ordres de l’école.”
how unfortunate that zach would have her watch his class while she was in a playful mood. she blames the coffee. she tilts her head, glancing over at the french teacher.
“may I enter, monsieur zacharias?”
the name rolls off her tongue thickly, a teasing grin soon lighting up porcelain features.
"...Oh. I understand,” he gave a slow nod at something he didn’t quite understand. Why did they send her here? He couldn’t exactly fathom that. Lips pursed, fingers still clutching on the doorknob. The only thought that passed through his mind was: did I disappoint the school board? A frown made its way to his eyebrows. He tried his best not to let it linger for too long (he’d look awfully melancholic otherwise). Tugging back his courteous smile, he opened the door wider, gesturing an arm toward a couple of empty chairs, farthest from the whiteboard. “--Of course! Asseyez-vous s'il vous plaît.”
Perhaps he didn’t have to feel so nervous, he thought as he closed the door behind her. After all, she did refer to him with his first name and not his surname. Slightly impolite, but they’ve had their plenty shares of small talks, enough to change her from being ‘an acquaintance at work’ into something akin to ‘a friend’. That’s what he liked about her; being the senior of the two, she treated him as a colleague just fine and did not impose herself, nor her methods of teaching upon him (though that might be because she had never seen him in-person teach a class before).
Her teasing grin, however. Also the way she said his name. Hm. Zacharias could only think of flashing a small, stiff smile in return.
“Alright, Class.” He turned his attention back to his students, “as it seems, today we have a guest: our fellow teacher, Madame Ivy Summers.” A glance at his senior, a nod, and a lopsided smirk, ‘Monsieur Zacharias’ still stuck in his mind. “She will be supervising us for today. Now, bring out the script you have made, group with your partner and start practicing the dialogues together. You have fifteen minutes before your performance in front of the class.”
Coffee cup that fills in constellations with heat.
I have this!!
i need this!!
i want a completely platonic girl/guy friendship like super super close best friends minus the whole “we’ve been in love with each other our entire lives but haven’t worked up the courage to say anything” factor like just straight up best friends !! like being each other’s wingman/woman !! changing in front of each other bc they’re comfortable w/ each other it’s whatever !! being attached at the hip !! sleepovers all the time !! late night drives to nowhere screaming to the overplayed song on the radio !! best friends who would literally take a bullet for each other !! please !! give me this !!
A Prince and his Maid
A shuddery, relieved sigh fell from Hannah’s lips as he spoke, completely assured that she wasn’t going to be severely punished. And with how the prince spoke, it didn’t seem like she’d be punished much at all. He even seemed to smile a little, causing Hannah’s shoulders to relax in reaction. He seemed really nice… to have sat there and listened to her unbiasedly, was truly an admirable thing about him.
How lucky was she to have stumbled across this kind of man in a bath! But even still, she knew there was still some more confessing that needed to be done. Though it terrified her to think of it, she knew that she’d most likely end up telling the young prince everything, and that meant that tiny little detail about her being more than one person. She was technically two.
“W-Well…” she began slowly, trying to calm herself enough to explain her life properly, “I’m only working here because m parents died when I was a child… I don’t remember quite why, but… as a maid we’re expected to cook and clean, wh-which isn’t so bad, I mean… I have a hammock to sleep in, i-in the women’s quarters… but lately the maids have also been sent to tend to the guards and knights, it being their request… most of them say they prefer to have a women dress their wounds, and often times they think it’s fun to harass us while doing so.”
“And the head maid, bless her heart… she didn’t want to send me down there… s-since I’m still one of the younger ones… but she couldn’t resist orders. A higher up had noticed how she was ‘keeping the best away from our beloved knights’ as he put it. And since I was ‘young’ and ‘agile’, I’d be much better suited to work in such a busy place.”
Lifting a hand to brush her drying bangs out of place, Hannah swallowed and looked up to the Prince. She might as well get it over with now; no point in beating around the bush, “At first, I-I guess… it wasn’t so bad… as long as I didn’t make eye contact with the men, they didn’t bother me too much. They touched me but I was never ‘fun’ enough to continue messing with. But unfortunately, one guard seemed to think of it as some kind of ‘game’.”
“He was strong, and overpowered me without a problem. I was merely trying to dress a wound on his shoulder, and to my dismay we had been alone at the moment…” with each word spoken, Hannah’s breath grew ragged and soft, words clearly filled fear at the memory, “There was nothing I could do, of course… he threatened me, telling me how bad it’d be for me if I were to call for help. Not that I was strong enough to escape him in the first place…”
Without even meaning to, Hannah had begun to cry, face flushed and embarrassed as she continued telling her little story. Though unfortunately for her there was no happy ending to it, “Long story short, I’m going to be a mother… luckily it hasn’t shown yet, but… the signs are clear.” also a little gross to explain her confirmation further.
“The nobles and others aren’t that awful to us, but maids and other workers are often treated more like cattle than people. Of course there are some exceptions, some nobles are kind and respectful. But the majority…”
She only hoped he wouldn’t take offense to her viewings of the important people in his castle. Many would get offended and aptly defend such distinguished persons. But with her background explained and the weight of her job revealed, there wasn’t much else to tell. Her secret was out in the open, ready to be responded to.
Head canted, the crown prince followed her story intently, a few slow nods here and there, taking in every words spilled from the maid’s lips. He was trying to stay still as she retold her life – oh, did he try his best! – but the perfectly flat, cold floor, as well as his crossed-legs position did it on him. Discreetly, Zacharias wiggled his legs, avoiding the cold temperature for a split-second while regaining blood flow to his legs.
He knew of many servants’ fates prior to serving the royal family. A great number of them were taken in for they had no one in their family to support them, while some came from enemy kingdoms, exploits from victorious wars – though they seldom perform tasks directly for the family.
He has heard of the common tendency between soldiers, demanding women to aid their wounds as to flirt with them when they have the chance. But such things weren’t discussed much with him –don’t worry, the affairs of soldiers are none of our concern; let the soldiers have what they want. Besides they serve our kingdom, don’t they? This— it keeps them loyal, Father replied him when Zach brought out the topic some time ago (Ma said the soldiers are getting rowdy. She said, even the maids get the brunt of it, and that you better attend to the problem).
Zach nodded back then, keeping silent despite his father’s reply. He couldn’t deny the logic behind it, as indecent as it may be (but what difference is there with hiring a whore? he thought back then). Besides, if anything completely terrible happens between the maids and soldiers, something equivalent to treason or murder, Alain, as the king, would take care of it.
Yet the facts were spilled out in front of him right on his bedroom floor. A terrible account... and definitely not one that has been taken care of.
“I am sorry,” to hear that. I am sorry for almost letting you relive the experience all over again. Only three words were spoken, however Zach placed a weight of pity and guilt on each letter said. What she told him explained her reactions in the bath earlier: the glint of tremendous fear when he placed his palm on her thigh. Her vulnerable mien when he leaned down for a kiss.
Such things happen to people near him. People inside the castle’s protection. With how she told him, it is plausible to assume that this happens as if it was but an everyday occurrence. And despite everything that has to do with his heritage and pride, Zacharias couldn’t argue with the fact that the nobles kept their dignity and pride intact by distancing themselves from people they deemed without.
His father, for example.
“Does my father know about--” the prince stopped midsentence. Of course he knew. Though not of the rape, his father knew of the harassment by the soldiers towards the maids, and had chosen to turn a blind eye to it. The very reason why Ma despised that side of him. He pursed his lips, let three seconds pass, and tried again: “Have you talked about this to anyone else? Does the head maid know about this?” Perhaps this was precisely why she was sent to his chamber instead, even though this was not in her line of work. To tend his bath, not to tend the wound of soldiers.
Zacharias is a believer of Fate; he is not one to believe in coincidences. Why she was sent to his room and not his brother’s, there was definitely something behind it. In every occurrence there is an underlying chance, an underlying potential: if a person realises the reason behind ‘why this and not that’, they can use that chance to determine the next course of action that will produce the best possible outcome, in accordance to that moment’s potential.
If this encounter meant something...
He is the crown prince. He can decide how things should fall into place (something his brother can’t do. For now, at least). Suddenly everything clicked into place. “You can serve under me for the moment. I will have the head maid arrange it tomorrow. I think it would be better than tending the soldiers...” a couple of nods, “...yes, definitely much better. Then the higher up wouldn’t dare to defy me. You were sent here to tend my bath, after all.” A part of him couldn’t believe he was spouting definite orders in the heat of the moment. But the gut feeling was there. That he has to do something about it.
Using a royal’s bath without permission is one thing, getting pregnant outside marriage is another thing, but things like severe punishments do not seem right when the maid told him the whole story. But the other nobles might not think so. But they don’t know the exact truth. Would keeping quiet be the right thing to do?
“Also, I will not speak to anyone about your mistake in the bathroom.” A pause, fists pressed on his knees. “Nor about your pregnancy...” This was the right thing to do, right? He fought the immense feeling of doubt with resolve: I am the crown prince. The stakes weren’t enough to kill me, so of course it will be alright. “It will just complicate your situation further.” (At situations like this, he thought of whether his mother would approve his judgment or not, being the level-minded person she is. This time, Zach believed he won her approval.)
@hinodeiji )
Shouta in Yoake ni Furu chapter 7.
it’s been a trying past few days
So the purpose of this meme is to give a little info on your muses without having to rely on others to fill your ask with meme questions. I know how disappointing it can be to come back to an empty ask so I wanted to create a meme that anyone and everyone can do (mun and muse).
The rules are simple, you do not need to be tagged to fill out the questions, but once you have you must reblog and tag 12 of your followers to spread the love. You can fill it out as many times as your heart desires (we all know muses can change with their character development.)
tagged by — @hinodeiji ; thank you!! <3
1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD?
“’Flight’, I suppose.”
2. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE WORD?
"’Devour’. Downright unpleasant.”
3. WHAT TURNS YOU ON?
"Loose clothes and exposed thighs.” He stroked the back of his neck, well. Kinda embarrassed at the question.
4. WHAT TURNS YOU OFF?
“When people are too eager to get close to me.”
5. WHAT SOUND DO YOU LOVE?
"Rain. It’s soothing.”
6. WHAT SOUND DO YOU HATE? “Gritted teeth - my brother tends to do that while he sleeps and oh God.” Groans. (Little did he realise that he does that in his sleep too.)
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CURSE WORD?
“Fuck, motherfuck -- they’re not my favourite, but they are what I tend to use.”
8. WHAT PROFESSION OTHER THAN YOURS WOULD YOU LIKE TO ATTEMPT?
“Obviously an astronaut would be cool! -- but I won’t attempt at that. Too difficult.” A pause. “Working as a ranger in a national park sounds cool. I also consider teaching in elementary.”
9. WHAT PROFESSION WOULD YOU NOT LIKE TO DO?
“Office work, especially those that has something to do with accountings.”
10. IF HEAVEN EXISTS, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR GOD(S) SAY WHEN YOU ARRIVE AT THE PEARLY GATES?
“... That I did the best that I could when I was alive to stick to the right path, and it’s okay.”
Bonus Questions
1. SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU?
“Many things -- my music taste, that’s one.”
2. SEXUAL PREFERENCE?
“Not important.”
3. WHAT POSITION DO YOU SLEEP IN?
"I like sleeping sideways, facing left and hugging a bolster.”
4. WHAT IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU…YOU HAD TO LOSE, JUST THIS ONE TIME?
"It’s okay, though lose what? It depends on what exactly I’m losing.”
5. GREATEST FEAR?
"Being devoured gives me nightmares, but... failure, and anything that comes after it.”
6. IF YOU COULD LEAVE ONE THING TO BE REMEMBERED BY, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
"That I’m a nice person overall, I guess.”
7. WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
"Estu -- it was supposed to be Emmanuel, but the name was too heavy.”
[[Copy+Repost once done~]]
Tagging: anyone who feels like it!!! sorry but i don’t have any idea ;v;;
plops a homemade hand-knitted scarf around his neck and grins widely. "merry christmas, zach." opens arms and wiggles eyebrows. to hug, or not to hug?
To put it simply, Zach wasn’t big on expecting presents. Like, at all. At least not from friends. Family is a different matter; his father used to buy him lots of presents for Christmas, though ever since his mother stopped working, the presents became less and less. Not that he minded.
That’s why when Ivy draped the scarf around his neck, all her ‘son’ could do was utter,
“Huh,” and he almost caught himself saying something along the lines of ‘why are you lending me this?’
Thankfully, realization kicked in sooner than that. Mind you; he still got enough tact.
“Did- did you make this? Is this for me? Whoa. Whoa.” Rough digits buried themselves on the layers of wrapped cloth, promptly disentangling it from his neck, and then he displayed it right before his eyes; milky brown hues reflect pure wonder at the intricate arrangement of wool; and more so at the design, the kind of pattern you’d spot anywhere that makes you feel like exclaiming ‘’tis the season!’ (but its nuance was definitely Ivy’s), very Christmas-y.
His fingers tighten and he brought the scarf closer to his face, calm breaths through the cloth. “Thank you,” he spoke, voice muffled. Then he looked at her,
“Thank you very much, Ivy. Thank you so much –oh man, I feel like a spoiled child! Pfft, you’ll be a great mom, Ivy. You are to me. Somehow.”
(And Zach’s not one to initiate hugs - yet instinctively, and awkwardly, he opened his arms at her. He probably inherited this trait from Ivy.)
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From All Chapters.
𝓣𝒆𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝒆 𝒇𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝒆 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓰. ℱ𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓼𝒆 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓪𝓻𝒆 𝓾𝓷𝓪𝒇𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓭 𝓸𝒇 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓿𝓾𝓵𝓷𝒆𝓻𝓪𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂.
her name is purity. she was born with stardust in her eyes and a heart of gold, and though she felt pain — she never seemed to lose grasp of who she was. loneliness was her only friend for many years & yet her heart always maintained its GOLD polish. the only way to be rid of the DEMONS in your head is to caress them and tell them they’ll be O K A Y —- art cred. ©
★ This is a selective, multi-muse blog that uses original characters. ★ I have five years of role playing experience, three on tumblr. ★ One-Liners, Semi-Paragraph, Multi-Paragraph, and Novellas I can do. ★ Single/Multi-verse depending on the character. ★ Single/Dual shipping depending on the character. ★ I am open to other OCs, fandoms I know, and characters from fandoms that I don’t know who have some background to go off of. ★ I’m currently working on my character page since it screwed up on me I placed a temporary one up! ★ I do not have every biography up. I do however have everyone’s about page up and some characters that aren’t human have a species page. Please remember that I do not put a character up unless I have the majority of their story in my head. ★ I hope to have a lot of fun with everyone, so please don’t be afraid to approach me! Home ┃Guidelines ┃Selection
“Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature – the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.”
Rachel Carson, Silent Spring ( x )
A Prince and his Maid
Before she had dove into the floor, she was surprised to see his flushed reaction to her confession, having expected anger and not… that. But his expression wasn’t her focus at the moment. She wanted to seem as apologetic as possible, appeal to his good nature. Anything to get her out of this.
But while she waited for a scolding, she could feel the Prince draw closer, having sat in front of her while issuing out commands that she hurriedly followed. Pulling herself up from the floor, she sat, rear on her calves as her toes and feet poked out from behind her. Back straight, face meeting his earnestly, and a silly expression that she thought was stern and confident. But really, she looked like a confused toddler. She wasn’t good at appearing poised and proper.
She opened her mouth to reply to his ‘scolding’ (if you could even call it that) but was met with an apology. Which caused her posture to jerk as her eyes widened. He was apologizing… to her. After what she had just done, how in the world did he think he should be the one apologizing? There was no need to, there was a girl in his bath, and he dealt with it in the most dignified way possible. He hadn’t pushed anything, he’d released her once he realized how she felt about it. Didn’t even question until later.
“Y-Your highness, I implore you not to apologize! T-To me of all people! I-I…” she stuttered, her expression worrisome and flushed. Embarrassment was clear on her face, and her heart was beating rapidly along with her own hands waving in protest. Was he truly that kind to feel remorse over that? It was shocking, truly shocking to the little blonde that he’d even think twice about it in the first place, let alone lower himself down to the floor with her to say sorry. With his gorgeous eyes meeting hers unrelentingly. The emotion that rested within them caused her to shiver, taken with how pitiful he seemed. Such a beautiful person was looking at her with that face…
The prince, of all persons in this castle…
“…I… I-I’m not…” she wasn’t sure what to answer with, the truth being that she was so gross and filthy that she couldn’t resist the idea of being squeaky clean. Even with how scared she’d been, she was all soft and fresh now. And physically, she felt amazing, “Y-Your highness, I… j-just wanted to be clean…”
Not at all worth the punishments she could have gotten, not really. Washing yourself with an overused wash cloth in a barrel full of murky water wasn’t ‘cleaning’ at all. Not to mention it was cold water. But that didn’t make what she did justified, “I-I… nhn… I don’t know why, b-but it was just… m-merely a moment of stupidity…”
How foolish she felt, to give an answer such as that. A mere bath was such a stupid thing to risk your life for. She appeared idiotic and ignorant for this, she just knew it. What a stupid woman he had to be thinking, what a moron to give into a desire such as entering a bath, “P-Please forgive me… I know I’m not all that bright and I know it’s surely going to get me killed eventually, but… p-please understand that not everyone has a luxury as simple as bathing… such a thing may seem like nothing to you, but… I-I haven’t had a proper bath in the longest time…”
“The only reason I looked pretty enough to be a whore was because of that bath. Usually I’m just as gross and disgusting as that dress… d-definitely not something you should be wasting your breath on… s-so, please don’t apologize to me. Seeing what I wanted, or rather, what I didn’t want, and acting on it… that was more than enough.”
“...I understand.” Inhale, exhale, and then he’s done composing himself; he donned the expression he considered closest to being authoritative, face neutral, gaze fixed, lips pressed thin and mien cautious and calculating. At least he tried to be, for he still felt - and resisted - the urge to worry his lip beneath his teeth. That wave of apologies he had been sputtering earlier was embarrassing, especially the stutters he made in front of the maid (then again it’s justified for his STUPID mistake).
(He exposed his emotions a little too much.)
“You of all people?” Her notion bemused him. Head canted: “Don’t talk like that. It is fair for me to apologise to you for what I have done. And as for your mistakes,” he continued, “I do acknowledge them, even though you’ve apologised already.”
Just acknowledging her mistakes wasn’t enough to help him judge her as a whole, much more to drop a verdict or punish her in some way, however. From how he perceived her recounting her own story, there was no ill intent in her actions, none at all. Yet it was strange - just wanting to be clean? The stakes weren’t easy to justify, nor did they worth much, right? His eyebrows held a slight scrunch. Fingers rubbing his chin, he tried to analyze whether the cause of her actions was even a serious one (merely a moment of stupidity? Really. Did she actually risk herself just because of split-second stupidity?)
Well, then, what even caused this moment of stupidity?
He thought he should find out about that first.
“You’re not going to get killed just because of sneaking on someone’s bath! I think, unless it was an attempt of treason. Like ambush, for example.” Perhaps it was inappropriate to let a snicker sneak on his lips at a moment like this. The mood seemed too somber for what he thought of as an easily-dismissable ‘crime’, however. “Only treason would grant you such punishment. Which, I believe, you didn’t commit, not even a little.” Oh, how oblivious he was to speak of treason and judgment in a light tone! Alas, at that time Zacharias did not know anything that was not known to him prior to this. All he knew was that the maid was fidgeting a little too much over a simple mistake of hers (as opposed to his almost disgraceful mistake) and he needed to lighten her up.
What she said next killed the snicker on his lips slow and sure. Not a proper bath in the longest time, huh. Zacharias knew fully well that there are people, too many of them, who couldn’t afford a luxurious life. He knew that the royal family is an exception to this fate. Then the nobles, and the landlords. But the thing is, she works inside the security that is King Alain’s castle. Weren’t the people working right under the royal family rewarded better than those working outside? And proper baths, he knew that you don’t have to own bathtubs with intricate carvings to bathe yourself properly. What made her, someone who works inside the castle, couldn’t even afford a proper bath, so far as to have to sneak inside his bathroom?
(Ignorance is not bliss. He needs to know everything.)
“Tell me about your life as a maid.” It sounded abrupt, an order out of the blue. He didn’t even heed her when she said ‘please don’t apologise to me’ a second time. But he needed to know more to understand her situation better. He came to a conclusion: what she wished earlier, to accept her punishment now, just like that? It wasn’t that simple. He needed to understand her background and motives which caused her actions, and then weigh the damage that had been done, to do something as small as stating his decision.
