bambam's #1 hoe.

name's E. 24. the 'ville. she/her kpop side: @pebbles1aa // anime side: @bokutossidepiece

[samaeloser]

if they wanna lick boots so bad then give them one ‼️

random palette challenge but a lil extra

[vithcy]

MUTUAL!! THAT IMAGE IS AI GENERATED!! MUTUAL! DON'T REBLOG THAT!! IT'S AI!!MUTUAAAL!!

[caliika]

This was an entirely different project originally. And then I started a new fic and decided to repaint the entire thing for a cover. (text version beneath the cut.)

This is falling under one of my favorite pieces of the year. And there have been quite a few.

Word of caution--this fic is under a pseud and restricted and it is not going to be for the faint of heart. The Dead Dove tag is there for a reason. Please heed to it.

[cyberglittter]

chloekundaa

[rozanovshane]

toddler shane refusing to talk after his hockey team lose a game. yuna & david are trying to be encouraging like “bud!! you played so good!!” and shane is ignoring them while climbing into his car seat where he’s going to angrily drink his juice box and then chew on the straw.

[rabbittush]

He’s had a rough day…

[hrsocials]

.seventy-nine. a small offering, but more on this tomorrow.

[medrawawi]

shanebugs💪

[medrawawi]

go boston bears

[medrawawi]

inspired on this!🐤

[medrawawi]

[ciricearts]

omg the ttk guy!!

[loveridden1999]

i don't support all women's rights & wrongs some of you are terfs

[lynn-reads-and-writes]

Bodyguard

T | Hollanov | Complete

Complex Sports @ComplexSports

“Good luck.”

Former Montreal Metros Captain Shane Hollander-Rozanov gives an “inspiring” two-word message to his former teammates ahead of the much-anticipated rematch between the Centaurs and the Metros.

-or-

Everyone wants a piece of Shane Hollander. Ilya has something to say about that.

An excuse to fit as many memes into hockey as I can. Also an excuse for cowboys slander.

[omgshesblowinbubbles]

What Ilya saw through that peephole 😭

[409-conflict]

I cannot stop thinking about what a fucking year Ilya had in 2014

Putin warns gay people not to spread propaganda during Sochi Olympics

Every Western media outlet wants a sound bite from Ilya, a Russian superstar who’s lived in the West for five years, regarding the gay propaganda laws

Ilya has to thread the needle of neither denouncing or promoting Russia’s stance

Ilya leads the National Hockey Team to a demoralising crash out

The prettiest man in the world makes the unbelievably stupid decision that now is a good time and place to talk to each other in public for the first time ever

He is upbraided by his Papa

Sveta completely misreads what he needs, and he can’t even be mad about it because at least she’s trying

The Bolotnaya Square protesters are convicted

Russia moves troops into Crimea

He keeps frantically googling pictures of Shane in the middle of the night

Russian opposition leaders are detained

G8 suspends Russian membership

Boston makes the playoffs

The Russian government enacts laws tightening control of dissemination of information, categorising bloggers alongside journalists

The Donetsk and Luhansk referenda, unrecognised by the international community

Boston wins the Stanley Cup

Has panic attack in a bathroom, is immediately accused of being an asshole for arriving on time

Successfully convinces himself he’s capable of having sex with Shane without feelings, definitely doesn’t cry once he’s alone

Super super fun happy times summer with his ailing father

MH17 shot down by Russian-made missile

Russia hits back at sanctions by banning food imports, sends food prices soaring

Oil prices crash, halving Russia’s national budget

Foreign ownership in Russia media is capped

Has Totally No Strings No Feelings secret sex with Shane, everything is Chill

Russian financial crisis hits, prices of food up 40 to 50%, some KHL teams can’t even pay their players

And all throughout this, every time he opens Facebook he’s tagged in yet another hundred fucking ALS ice bucket challenges

[stabthroughme]

Ilya is the white woman who rescues "kitties" and "puppies" from the sides of roads only to bring them to vets who go "this is a mountain lion/coyote/cougar/lynx pup" and on one occasion that Shane will never let him live down "this is a bear cub".

Shane has the nearest wildlife sanctuaries/rehabs at the Cottage and in Ottawa on speed dial. They're on a first name basis with Ilya and most of them don't even know Ilya or Shane play hockey they're just "the Russian with the white woman animal whispering powers and his long suffering husband"

[wannabetonthat]

I was half asleep daydreaming and I came up with the most cracky idea

Shane has been in face offs against Ilya for years, even if they didn't have their thing of the ice, he knows his face by memory. Which is why he notices when a mole in the underside of his jaw gets bigger.

It's the 2015-2016 season, middle of the hookup era, and he is trying to get this motherfucker to see a dermatologist, but nothing he says works. Ilya either distracts him or dismisses him with some stupid denial like russians don't get melanoma.

But the mole keeps changing and now its not even the same consistent color and Shane has googled the signs so he says fuck it, I'm gonna make him.

Shane uses his barely active public account to tweet a list of Boston based dermatologist and tags Ilya in each one.

This of course goes crazy with the fans because what the hell? Shane Hollander? Tweeting at Ilya Rozanov? Doctors? This is a very advanced very strange chirp? Is he calling his moles ugly?

The next time the Boston Raiders have a game the media scrum doesn't even try to pretend they came for another thing, they want to know about the Dermatologist Thread.

Ilya, at this point frustrated because his moles are fine, they're perfect, why is this a problem, so he answers.

"Hollander should mind his own businesses, he wants me to visit stupid skin doctor because he sees mole. I have lots of moles, always had, there's no problem here, it's normal mole!"

And Shane is getting out of his own game a few hours later, prepares himself to answer about the fumble in the second period when the media comes, and it's surprised when, instead, he gets shown a clip of Ilya's earlier interview. Now, this fucking reckless motherfucker, Shane explodes.

"You fucking asshole! You want to die by driving a Porsche into a wall be my guest! But you're gonna die of the most stupid thing in existence! A MOLE! A mole you decided not to check even if it changed size and color and it's in your fucking face where we can all see it every fucking face off with arena lights shining right into it! Why? Because you're stupid and you don't want to go to the doctor and you don't respect the sun. You're gonna die from a perfectly preventable thing and then what am I gonna do? I'm gonna be the best hockey player in mi generation with 10 cups and Harts and Conn Smythes and no competition because you're gonna be in the history books as that one promising dude who died from a mole. A mole! Go to the fucking doctor and use your fucking sunscreen."

That one goes viral. That one breaches containment and goes internacional meme viral.

Shane Hollander Skin Cancer Awareness King.

There's "Go to the fucking doctor and use your fucking sunscreen" T-Shirts.

Shane Hollander angry sneering face with the text "RESPECT THE SUN" under it.

Ilya Rozanov gets bullied relentlessly about it, everyone asking if he has gone to the doctor yet. He doesn't answer. Eventually, he appears with a new scar in his jaw where a wonky mole used to be.

A new meme begins, Shane Hollander has saved Ilya Rozanov's life. From a malignant mole.