Dan and Phil own this ass

Dan and Phil stan account. My name is Alex, I'm 13, and i fricken love Dan and Phil XD

[sosuperawesome]

AJ Morgan on Instagram / Etsy

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Good Morning! Today I will be informing you of the existence of enormous purple squirrels. 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Meet Indian giant squirrels. They are technicolor. They are 3 feet long. They are fully, utterly nonsense. They belong in a Pixar movie, preferably leading a musical number.

That is all.

[dip-the-pip-2009]

Hi yes I want 30 of them

[myreticentvale-deactivated20231]

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

[justsomeantifas]

lmao so everytime i go to the emergency room i’ll be like “yeah i feel like im literally dying. my pain an agony is unbearable. that’s why im here” but i’ll say it in a really flat calm voice. almost like im bored.

so the nurses will shrug me off run some tests. like ok. whatever drama queen.

then the doctor will come back with the tests, vaguely panicked, like “okay. so you’re dying.” and the nurses will be all shocked and ill be sitting there with my continued bored expression and flat voice like “yea… that’s what ive been saying.”

and the nurses will be like “but you arent ACTING LIKE IT??!!!!”

and im just here like “oh sorry didn’t know this was a fucking final exam in acting class. goddamn.”

[justsomeantifas]

anyway sorry nurses. but when im literally dying i dont got the time or energy to make a show of it for you so you dont fuuucking kill me.

me, going septic: damn sure wish i didn’t have to wait three hours for antiboitics while you nurses are convinced im a drug addict who needs to be ignored, even tho u shouldnt ignore them either tf

[justsomeantifas]

this has happened to me four times now. where nurses have almost killed me. lmao tellin doctors im just looking for pain killers

theyll be like “she doesnt show any signs of pain”

sorry my mom didnt raise a little wimp.

the funniest part to me is i wont even be asking for pain killers. ill just be like: 😑i am in the worst pain i have ever experienced and i can feel death closing in. same shit as always lmao. am i right, doreen?

and theyll be like: this bitch just wants opiates im tired of it.

tho i will say it’s fun listening to the doctors yell at them for almost murdering me.

[justsomeantifas]

nurses. just wondering. can u maybe not be so fucking bitter and hate drug addicts so much that you’d rather have people going into septic shock die than potentially help out an addict? thanks.

[dropovers]

i wish i could say “?????????????????” in real life. it would be very useful.

[hospitalroom]

a reminder for my transmasc pals

[mothdogs]

Make sure to stretch and forcefully cough after you take your binder off! Do not sleep or exercise in it! Do your best not to wear it for more than 8-10 hours at a time!

[revengeraven]

Just a friendly warning; YouTube is doing screamer ads again. It’s for the new Annabelle movie and it starts with “staring contest in 3,2,1” followed by a jumpscare and a loud scream. I saw it today (June 20th) so keep an eye out for it.

[i-am-a-fish]

me: SELF LOVE IS SO IMPORTANT (•O•)/!!!! everyone please take time to love & appreciate yourself today!!!!!🧡💛🧡💛

also me: *looks in the mirror* bitch

[anangstyblackgirl]

Happy Black History Month!

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

Who else got their first grader wig torn after this 

[dip-the-pip-2009]

ME

[stayatsam]

yall love trans boys until they start T and get manly and hairy and grow a trans guy penis and get deep voices and some belly chub and get a fucked high sex drive and  not some “uwu space smol bean boy” that you wanna romanticize so deeply and “protect” 

whatever yeehaw 

[the-rice-cat-deactivated2021070]

Not only is this the tea, the yeehaw is the cherry on top

[vanillavillain48-deactivated201]

support trans boys 

as they become

TRANS MEN.

[stupidfusicn-blog]

Yee-and I cannot stress this enough-haw

[werewolfmonkie]

i found a christian retelling of the first harry potter book and it claims that birthdays are unholy and are made up

[werewolfmonkie]

some highlights

Ron is a Slytherin

Draco is a Ravenclaw AND a mysogonist

Snape isn’t a cunt and is really nice and caring towards Harry

Angels have replaced owls

Dean Thomas is a main character for no reason

Dumbledore isn’t gay and is married to a woman and is ALSO Hermionies dad

It doesn’t take place in the UK for some reason

Wizard duels are now called pray-offs

I’ll add more when i read more

[werewolfmonkie]

more

Harry converts Draco into being a Gryffindor (who are depicted as pitch perfect Christians who follow the bible closely and only take orders from God)

Eco friendly-ness is bad apparently

Voldemort has hair

Believing in evolution is apparently Satanic

Voldemort wanted to make Christianity ILLEGAL

Voldemort ALSO has a Reddit account

Dumbledore calls Reddit a “godless coven”

THEY LITERALLY TRY AND CONVERT VOLDEMORT INTO BEING A CHRISTIAN

Harry says that Voldemort has been tricked by the lies of society and that he deserves to burn in hell 

““I’m just so upset that you don’t accept the Bible,” Hermionie sobbed femininely. “The Bible is the best book ever. Why can’t you respect that?”“

Voldemort is described as a fornicating, drug-addicted evolutionist (Actually, this is what the author says that all Evolutionists are like this)

I can’t believe i found a fic to rival My Immortal

[sleepy-loopin]

This is some anti My Immortal shit

[sorry]

how does one sob femininely? 

[oddpyromaniac]

PLEASE SOMEONE SEND ME A NAME OR A LINK TO THIS

[chaiischii-deactivated20190628]

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10644439/1/Hogwarts-School-of-Prayer-and-Miracles

[oddpyromaniac]

I love you thank you

[5000angryspiders]

Dumbledore is married to McGonagall.

There are several paragraphs describing beloved fictional characters’ chest hair.

Slytherins are Catholics.

Petunia wears pant suits.

[bidootdoot-deactivated20190601]

“Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry’s young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, “Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays. “

[sawyer-saucee]

Reblog if you don’t need religion because you have science socialism and birthdays

[afewreelthoughts]

Okay, but if you’re curious, just read the fic! I swear it’s hilariously bad, not too long, and includes some… surprises. 

[bog-body-in-training]

@brownie-aunt @misty-the-mysterious @teacup-of-roses

Check this out :(

[brownie-aunt]

I have no words. I am both in awe at this gal’s audacity and horrified that she actually went and did this.

[stilesisbiles]

Bisexuality

[smol-bean-meme-machine]

Pansexuality

[callioscope]

Dont do that

[stilesisbiles]

Actually, do that, it’s my post and I’m tired of people getting territorial on my behalf on them. :)

Edit: of course the person who added the ‘don’t do that’ comment is a TERF who misgenders and harasses trans women. In case it weren’t any more clear who’s trying to divide our community.

[lefty-trashbag]

💖💜💙 💙💛💖

[inlovesuggest]

big dork energy

[incorrectsanders]

Deciet: Virgil isn’t breathing! I’ll give him mouth to mouth!

Virgil: *wakes up* don’t.

[incorrectsanders]

Virgil: Who cares if he’s in his pajamas? We’re just at home and it’s only Joan coming over.

Roman: THOMAS SHOULD ALWAYS LOOK HIS BEST!

Roman: MAMAAAAAA! Virgil’s trying to get Thomas to look like a sloth again!

Patton: Sorry… Who is mama?

Logan: Judging by past evidence I’d assume it’s me.

[dip-the-pip-2009]

AJSHDBSMSMB

[incorrectsanders]

Roman: You know, jumping out of helicopters is dangerous. They say 1 in 5 people don’t even make it to the ground.

Logan: What do you mean they don’t make it to the ground? Where do they go?

[just-one-kid]

Straight girls who treat their wlw friends no different from their straight girl friends have big dick energy don’t @ me