~Dream Sweetly~

Maryssa. 31 I try to radiate light wherever I go, though it does not always shine as bright as I want. Witch. Extreme stoner. Blog is 18+

[animentality]

[poppyseed-art]

[donnathepirana]

I turned on closed captions for the Swedish Chef and I just started weeping with laughter.

[deactivated-blog]

[thesaltofcarthage]

These captions are peak Muppet and Jim Henson would be delighted.

[modmad]

how can you post this and not link to the original on the official Muppets youtube

[certified-muppet-posts]

certified muppets post

[sootheyourself]

He’s got his own language setting lol

[godkissedme]

[herpsandbirds]

[mewvore]

Do not fall for the grindset mentality; jerk off and eat a hot pocket to recover spiritually

[super-affection]

was ringing up a customer and added his coupons, he was surprised it took off so much off the total and i accidentally said “well tits the season!” instead of tis the season but he let out a very long and powerful “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell yeah”

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

for those of yall who got on tumblr after 2017 and are wondering if it’s a typo whenever i say this, let me reassure you, it is not

[filmnoirsbian]

Its time.

[filmnoirsbian]

Off to a good start

[filmnoirsbian]

Hello i have a new favorite movie

[filmnoirsbian]

The heavy metal guitar solo intro music just petered off into the jurassic park theme sjsnsjejwkms

[filmnoirsbian]

Oh this man is a himbo. Excellent.

[filmnoirsbian]

Wait is this man a priest or a pastor 🤔 if he's a priest then the title is false advertising

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm speechless

[filmnoirsbian]

[gun fire]

[raptor screeches]

[filmnoirsbian]

She's talking abt how he turned into a dinosaur and ate the guy who was trying to rob her

[filmnoirsbian]

"I don't believe you! Dinosaurs never existed, and even if they did, I didn't turn into one!"

[filmnoirsbian]

Solidarity

[filmnoirsbian]

Me: bro they better keep this shit platonic

[Carol and Priest looking at each other, smiling lightly after sharing an embrace, tension building]

Me: 😒

[Carol and Priest share a massive high five]

Me: oh??? 😏😌

[filmnoirsbian]

He's literally reading a book called Crime

[filmnoirsbian]

Velocifather: father stewart, what if i told you i was...different

Father Stewart: you're not THAT different. they're are plenty of people like that in the church

[filmnoirsbian]

Bro i can't even describe this vietnam war flashback.....there's 5 guys in jeans and thrifted military jackets in what is clearly someone's backyard......a bloody helmet on a garden fence is meant to symbolize how many brothers in arms they've lost.....they just stuck a blond wig on the old priest to show how young he was back then.......his gf just showed up and stepped on a land mine and died....which is why he joined the priesthood...the editing feels like a fever dream

[avogadro-toast]

How can you talk about this movie without showing the fucking dinosaur

[depsidase]

[vigilantsycamore]

Ebenezer Scrooge: Goes outside

500 Muppets: There goes Mr Asshole! There Goes Mr Bitch!

[depsidase]

[speedlimit15]

[cozyjorts]

for full context

[omglee-i-cant-even]

[toothlesssoul]

[depsidase]

[nocturnal-stims]

Weeping monster pots

👁 Eamonquigs on IG

[hollowboobtheory]

evanescence bring me to life and britney spears toxic are sisters to me

[hollowboobtheory]

do you see

[coyotetale]

Their mother

[twerklina]

[ottermatopoeia]

makin my way downtown

[monkeysaysficus]

slowly

[werewolf4vampire]

[perrokallej3ro]

i’m fucking crying y’all

[perrokallej3ro]

IWMXKWKSOWKDJEJ??????

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

“devaluing real tears” I’m fucking crying