🍄 𓋼𓍊 𓆏 𓍊𓋼𓍊🍄 @disaster-0l0gyx - Tumblr Blog

Hi hi! Hello! Intro!!

#katie talks

yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou

seijass

fairycosmos

#mygapingwound #mychildhoodghosts #myfleetingexistence #myfatheadache #myunexploredidentities #myendlesshame

fairycosmos

actually i think they were called my chemical romance

persianmom

I got that dog in me (treatment resistant depression)

paper-wounds

kosmogrl

manwhorewednesdays

This is actually such a crucial part of healing from neglect and abuse and I have to add to this.

Because indeed, people who like you will not roll their eyes and sigh at the idea of accommodating your needs, they will value your voice and be upset with you about injustice done to you, not at you for "being difficult". They will be happy when you find a way to live a better life, and help you to get there. If you are struggling, someone who loves you wants to see you smile, not tell you to smile because "you have it so good".

pup-purgatory

cyberiapinksosa333

“wtf is wrong with you”

you mean like today or like in general?

shoppingstars

little things that can help you if you have bpd (part 2)

Here is the link for part one.

Learn how to tolerate the distress; Usually, people with BPD suffer from suffocating situations on their daily life, due to mood swings, constant anxiety, dissociation symptoms, etc. If you want to get help with that, self-soothing techquines are commonly used on DBT. Okay, but how can I learn how to self-soothe?

First, control your breath; If you look into the part one, I gave some tips about it, but here are some new things: breathe through your nose for three seconds. Hold your breath for five seconds and let the air out of your nose for three seconds. Take the air out of your diaphragm (stomach region) and not just out of your chest. After controlling your breath, release the tension on your shoulders, slowly rotating them to the back for three/four times. Then, rotate them forward. Repeat as necessary. After all of this, if you can, please take a rest, just close your eyes and lay in your bed or in a comfortable place.

Look for something that distracts you; I talked about having a list about what makes you happy in the part one, so if you could use it for this, that would be great, but if you can’t, that’s okay too, there are other distraction options. Please remember that you need HEALTHY distractions, so please stay away from junk food, drugs, self-harm and others. For some people, it helps to count numbers till 100, but not everyone has patience or can really get distracted when they do it, so here are some activities that may help you: cleaning your house (a suggestion by a lot of therapists to people who suffer from anxiety or depression, it’s not just some “neurotypical useless advice”, it really helps and some studies and people can prove it). Read a book or write something; usually, we get distracted in our daily life by daydreaming about things, so when you actually need to stop paying too much attention to the world around you, it’s great to bring your creative part if you can. Reading a book and writing can help you to create images in your head, you can even write or draw about what is bothering you, so your violent thoughts will be on a paper, not on your actions. (also, there is nothing wrong about having violent thoughts, since you don’t act like them, you can’t control your feelings or your mind and that’s okay). Look at what is around you and challenge yourself to small games; sometimes when I go out, I like to count how many red/blue/green cars I can see, or what combinations I can create with their plates, for example, a plate with letters and numbers: what word can I remember with every letter? or call a friend or someone in your family and try to talk with them, if you think it will distract you.

Accept the reality and your current problem; Even unconsciously, people with BPD tend to escape the reality during a stressful situation, specially by dissociating, that’s okay if you do it sometimes to distract, but doing it often can affect your everyday life. Instead of freaking about a problem, sit down and try to think about it rationally, for example, if your friend is not replying you, you can stop for a moment and think “Okay. They’re not replying right now, but maybe x thing is happening and I can deal with it.”. When you accept the reality, in that case, that your friend is not replying to you, you avoid paranoid thoughts. “Okay, my friend told me to meet them right now, they’re a little bit late. That’s it and it’s okay, I’ll deal with it.”. Encourage yourself by your thoughts telling yourself you will deal with the situation, it will give you more confidence. Also, accept that not everything is perfect, I know that’s VERY hard, because people with BPD tend to overeact to every minor incovinience, but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Study your current situation and see the negative points, talk to other people about it, research about people that went through the same things. Everything has negative and positive points.

Practice mindfullness; There are some videos online, but it’s better if you look for a professional. It makes it easy to develop a wise mind, but you have big problems with dissociation, please research about it, because I’ve seen that it may cause problems.

Pay attention to your relationships; People with BPD have a lot of troubles with relationships, which is something that affects our mental health. The fact is that relationships are very important to everyone, since we are social animals and if you pay attention on how you act with people and how they act with you, you can have a better regulation on your emotions. First, identify what are your triggers, for example, self-harm, when someone ignores you, abuse… Tell the other person about it, so they’ll avoid these things. ALWAYS talk about something the other person did that hurt you, don’t keep things to yourself, it’s more likely to create problems if you don’t talk than if you talk. If the person really cares about you, they will cope. In the end, you will have a better knowledge about what makes you happy and what makes you feel bad.

Try to find a hobby; I know that is one of the main things someone you will tell if you say you have a disorder, but this is really important, specially for people with BPD and I’ll tell you why. This is something I’ve been discussing with my therapist and the thing is: if you don’t keep your mind busy during a time (not all the time, that’s not healthy) it will create a sensation of void and BPD makes us feel empty sometimes. BPD never let us feel things slightly, so a simply feeling of boredom can become a sensation of completely void. Keeping your mind busy will help you to entertain you and avoid those empty feelings. If you don’t like anything, please try new things, there are a billion of things out there to try.

please leave a comment if it was helpful, check the part one and i’m sorry if my grammar wasn’t very correct, english is not my native language.

remember that everything here is theoretical and it’s hard to apply these tips in your life, things will not suddenly change. but i believe in you and things take time, so don’t give up on getting better.