what if American Psycho was wet?
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@distinguishedwerewolfmentality
what if American Psycho was wet?
deltarune is like an amazing work about hope, dreams, fate, freedom, resisting fate, being yourself, existing as a queer person in a cisheteronormativite society, friendship, misogyny, mental illness, and so much more.
and all people theorize about all day every week is this creepy cat image that sometimes comes up or if gaster is a green pirate or whatever the fuck.
im nonbinary in a way that doesnt really matter
"All monsters must die bloody, and by a hero's hands, and soon," he says over brunch.
He doesn't think it's a rude thing to say in front of a monster. There are no rude things to say to monsters, only rude things monsters say.
"Don't worry," she says between bites, "You're one of the good ones."
"But I am still a monster," I do not say. I do not say that I love my claws and teeth, my prehensile shadow and my glowing eyes. That I cannot imagine giving them up even for survival, that to hide my shadow and trim my claws for them makes me feel diminished. In public I cannot say that I do not wish to be human.
They're progressives, this bunch, even if he carries a hero's banner with its proud history and none of them ask him to put it away. They know there are good monsters, monsters who can speak eloquently and hold the fork right, monsters you can be seen with in public. Some of their best friends are monsters.
They do not know the monster who is invited to brunch knows solidarity with the monster who is not. Believes and understands the monster who is not invited more than the human who does the inviting.
"Isn't that a little harsh?" says a third human, and I have not forgotten I am outnumbered. "We have ways of killing monsters without blood now, painlessly. And, of course, a monster should be allowed to live if it never growls."
He has never seen me growl. Yet how loudly and endlessly I will, when I'm out of earshot. He's talking about killing monsters who cannot stoop to civility, about mother and brother and lover who were never able to mute themselves like me, and does he not know how small a child who can only growl is?
"To growl is not to kill," I say, and all heads turn toward me. It is one of those rude things monsters say.
The fox. It wanders.
Looking at the closed captions of the interview I did today, I'm noticing that Zoom sometimes (not always, but it fucking happened) censors the words "Queer" and "Lesbian", which is extremely fucked up.
oop, also just saw "Gay" get censored. Really not good that this is a thing.
Literally on the phone with the IT service desk trying to work out how to get them to get me through to someone with admin privileges who can turn off Zoom's "profanity" filter (fuck off, these are not profane words). It's bluntly fucking ridiculous that I have to do this, this is a university, hard of hearing people can see "naughty" words (and these aren't even fucking naughty words) without shrivelling up and dying, none of us are fucking cherubs who must remain "pure" and "uncorrupted". This whole thing is so fucking idiotic, I study gender and sexuality, the people I interview are going to use these fucking words, I'm going to use these fucking words. Absolutely fucking absurd. It's fucking American puritanism being forced upon the rest of us by some shitty tech corporation. Nuke Silicon Valley.
there's this dog that's just bad at it. at being a dog. something must be wrong with it. the dog has a family, they love this dog, they were very excited to get the dog, and they chose this dog out of a mess of dogs in the shelter. it was cute, still is in it's own way. an adorable thing, really, a tiny picture-perfect puppy and the family was all smiles taking the dog home but it was just bad at being a dog. training was a non-issue, the dog only did their business when brought outside and the family would squat to pick up it's shit with a plastic bag, the dog never hopped on furniture it wasn't allowed to, the dog never barked, indoors or outdoors, and it never ate the family's food, never even tried to. the family thought this was wonderful behavior but there was other things about being a dog that this dog just didn't do. it didn't play, at all. never chased after a ball, never bit down on a rope. every walk with the dog felt more like dragging it around, the dog never wanting to move on its own. the dog didn't wag its tail at being told how good they were, at being petted, at given treats. it barely registered treats as anything different than its regular kibble. every meal, dehydrated meat chunks or a sneaked whirl of whip cream from one of the children, was eaten as a duty but never a fervor. it sat next to whoever brought them to the dog park and even other dogs knew this dog wasn't good at being a dog. though this dog never did have any issues with sleep, with diet, his waste always looked fine, it didn't seem anything was wrong. the family doesn't know exactly when but at some point the dog was brought to a vet, who surmised that the dog must be in some kind of pain, gave him meds, and the family didn't have to squeeze pills in cheese or anything, the dog just ate them fine. nothing changed but they never stopped giving him the meds. sometimes it'd be a different medication, a different vet with a different theory on what's wrong. some thought it was bad joints, another wanted xrays to see if it was a cancer, yet another tested for illnesses. no one ever guessed right, though. it just shouldn't have been a dog. the dog wasn't fit for being a dog. years of this go on. the family doesn't even think of getting another dog, they already have the one. the dog was fine enough, they figured. it's not in pain, not really, the dog's fine as is. a fixture of the family like a piece of furniture. it's almost kind of endearing, entertaining even, to see how long the dog just keeps going as it is. they keep the dog, celebrate each birthday with all of them there, the dog behaving as if it's any other day. four years old, seven years old, twelve years old, sixteen years old, twenty, twenty-five... then the dog bites someone. someone in the family. no real reason other than it's a dog and dogs bite. one hand bleeds as the other hand strikes the dog, a hammer of a fist making it whine for the first time. it sank fangs just once and years of dutiful love toward it collapse into a gravity of resentment. all this nerve to never act like a dog and now it suddenly wants to fucking bite someone? after all they did for the dog? all those years tolerating it? they end the dog's life without much ceremony in the backyard. they're all righteous, brimming with adrenaline, all smiles. this is right. the dog shouldn't have bit someone.
blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed
blowjob? more like job blows! #employed
blowjob? okay! #SelfSuckingLittleFreak
you have only experienced one singular lame as fuck blunt rotation in your life or what… “safety tips” is killing me Who does that. ykw actually everyone in this blunt rotation is my nightmare blunt rotation.
dream blunt rotation
before you beat yourself up for not cleaning, ask yourself:
is there a proper place to put the things you're tidying up?
a lot of times i would find myself struggling to finish cleaning things when the real problem was that I didn't actually have a permanent place for things to go once I had actually picked them up.
once I was making sure I had shelves or bins or organization things first, it became a lot easier to actually finish tidying things up since I knew where things were supposed to belong
talking about everyday things the way anti-sex weirdos talk about "porn addiction". oh you like to "take a nice walk outside"? don't you know that floods your brain with the addictive chemical dopamine, which is literally stronger than heroin? and you try to do it every day? that's. not. normal. i can't believe people try to justify and excuse this and act like Taking-A-Nice-Walk-Addiction isn't real
Perhaps this is an obnoxious take on my part, but video games should, above all things, prioritize the ability of being paused. At any point. Regardless of whether it's during a cutscene, a special animation, or a time-based puzzle. You never know when you're gonna get a phone call, or someone will need you in another room, or you get a sudden urge to go to the bathroom, or you hear your cat licking plastic, or whatever. Other entertainment mediums like books, movies, and music can be paused whenever you want. Why do some games not give you the same luxury??
you ever realize how able bodied people just are not expected to do things that cause them excruciating physical pain? like they’re just. not
if i shouldn’t use my cane because i can sometimes technically walk without it, it would just hurt like a motherfucker then abled people should no longer be allowed to use potholders to take things out of the oven because i mean
well they could technically pick up a hot pan with their bare hands. it would just hurt like a motherfucker
*sees an abled person using potholders*
i just think it’s really sad that you’re giving up on yourself like that
if you use potholders how will you ever build up the calluses necessary to pick up scalding hot metal without burning yourself so severely? it’s like you’re not even trying to get better
I mean, my mother uses potholders, but she’s in her 70s. You’re just… too YOUNG to be resorting to potholders at your age.
If you start using potholders, your inability to hold hot metal will only get worse.
As a professional cook I was, and still am, able to pick most stuff up out of an oven without a pot holder. I might get blisters and maybe it will hurt, but usually it won’t
AMAZING! based on this one specific individual’s experiences i will now safely assume that it’s possible for anyone to overcome hand pain & leave potholders behind for good!!! as long as you want it bad enough, anything is possible!! make this story go viral so that all those self pitying losers who still use potholders know that there’s no excuse
☆♡LIKE & SHARE IF YOU WERE INSPIRED!!!♡☆
not what I thought they was talkin about
by will mcphail
iT’s fUnY beCAusE mEn aRE DumB
No dumbass, it’s funny because women are usually left out of these pictures. And most of history. While actually, you know… living full lives and contributing to society. Just like men do. But men are always in the fucking picture.
This isn’t a comic about men being dumb, it’s a comic about women being forgotten, ignored, and excluded. But you were so ready to be pissed at mean feminists that you took something personally that absolutely wasn’t and got offended by something that wasn’t being said.
The artist was a man but women still got blamed for the “misandrist joke” by a redpiller calling himself a “big dick americhad“
i love this dude he’s made a bunch of other ‘misandrist jokes’ as well
Not to go too off-topic but just want to remind everyone that Will McPhail also gave us this great one in 2017: