The Amazing Shipper @darklingdawns - Tumblr Blog

Man For Sale!

I was rewatching S1 of OFMD earlier this week before S2 dropped, and I had a rather chilling realization. When Stede's walking his captive through the public venue of the Republic of Pirates and doing his 'Man for sa-ale!' cry, it's played for laughs, but he's getting that singsong cadence from somewhere very specific. Growing up in Barbados in the 1700s, he's a product of a slaveowning culture, and he's mimicking the auctioneer's call to the block, using both a slightly higher pitch and a cadence designed to cut through the noise of the marketplace and draw buyers. Then if you listen, right after the first few 'man for sale' calls, he lists off 'healthy, sturdy, obedient', all traits that were frequently mentioned by auctioneers selling slaves.

So... yeah, Stede really does 'know a thing or two about salesmanship'. And now I'm never gonna look at that scene the same way again.

#ofmd #stede bonnet #slavery

doks-aux

Okay, so thinking about this idea still (thanks @arborescentarecaceae) and trying to figure out how the central conflict would come about because I don’t feel like Izzy would come up with that lie on his own. Or anyone buying it if he did. He’s not very creative when put on the spot (or at all, bless), he might not want to lie about a dead friend, and he’s so divorced from his own emotions he it probably wouldn’t occur to him to put “Sam” and “husband” in the same conscious thought.

I think Ed actually gets the ball rolling on it. Maybe the crew’s been on a mostly well-intentioned mission to help Izzy get over Ed and are going about it in the most annoying and wrongfooted way possible. They won’t get out of their own way long enough to realize that Izzy isn’t interested in their sort of matchmaking, and Izzy of course isn’t going to stop and spell out why he doesn’t like it because he thinks it should be obvious and anyway he shouldn’t have to, “Fuck off and get back to work” is a full sentence. They just see him being angry and resistant and in trying to figure out why (by doing everything but actually ask him, of course), they start to wonder about the ring and all the black he always wears. So someone tries to ask Ed about it since they know they won’t get an answer from Izzy, and Ed, maybe half paying attention to the conversation, says, “Oh, yeah, Sam gave him that. Iz was real torn up when he died. Been wearing it ever since.”

And that changes things! Pushing someone still in mourning for their husband to go out and get laid isn’t maybe the most sensitive way to handle things. They should maybe rethink their approach. And when Ed tunes back into what’s going on, well, he does love a good fuckery. And Izzy’s been complaining about all their pestering, and Ed owes him a solid or twenty for the whole toe thing, so maybe he can help get them off his back. And Izzy’s still terrible at not just going along with Ed’s ideas. But, hey, at least this one’s bought him some relative peace and quiet, and all he really has to do is get quiet and say he doesn’t want to talk about it if any of them try to ask about Sam.

And then Sam comes back. :)

darklingdawns

m0unta1ndude

dr who’s on first, doctor strange is on second and doctor house is on third. theres no way theyre getting through a single inning

four-rabbits-in-a-trenchcoat

so who’s on first?

you-say-that-so-often

That’s right 👍🏻

four-rabbits-in-a-trenchcoat

that’s strange

you-say-that-so-often

No, he’s on second.

four-rabbits-in-a-trenchcoat

Well how’s he on second if he’s on first?

you-say-that-so-often

No no no, House is on third. Second base is Strange.

darklingdawns

You keep mentioning No. Last I heard, he was pitching.

catmask

just so you know, you have some followers who enjoy/write fanfiction. not saying their urls rn bc i don’t wanna air out dirty laundry in public but if you want them so you can block and report, just say the word and i’ll dm you a list

catmask

BRO?

whitehairedanimeboyfriend

This post is so fucking funny. They really said "the only reason they do this thing solely intended for enjoyment is to have fun." Hilarious. I miss the days when nerd culture was still considered weird and I could be in a fandom and not encounter puritan morality because all the puritans thought fandom was blasphemous.

Any advice for preventing colouring on walls or furniture? I'm at a loss

We haven’t gotten to the point where we understand that crayons/markers are not for eating yet so this is advice coming from my mom

She painted a wall in chalkboard paint for me and that was the wall I was allowed to color on. So like compromise I guess!

darklingdawns

For anyone that rents and therefore can't paint walls - get a roll of butcher paper to tape to the wall (layer it to make it a good deal higher than the kid is tall)

There are times you realize that someone's absence from your life is necessary, that while you may be overall doing better on your own, it doesn't change the fact that they were still a part of you, and that wasn't bad. They made you laugh, they lit your world for however brief a time, and it's perfectly okay to look back and miss that without wanting it back. Sometimes people just aren't meant to stay forever, but they brought you something sweet and special during the time they walked through your life.

Anyway, happy birthday and may the coming year be good to you. You and the gifts you gave aren't forgotten.

hrefnatheravenqueen

This is in the context of counterprotests. I appreciate the thought but this is Canada. Not the US. Try to be queer, BIPOC, or worse, both, and show up armed to counterprotest transphobes and homophobes who stand right next to the cops, and see what happens. We don’t have the same rights to bear arms and open carry in Canada. We’d be giving the cops an excuse to just rush in and start beating up any counterprotester in sight. Do whatever you want on your own property - I agree that we need to be able to defend ourselves - but don’t bring a weapon to a counterprotest in this country or you’ll be putting the lives of everybody on your side at risk.

@allthecanadianpolitics

hrefnatheravenqueen

Also, since the original commenter told us to get and learn how to use pistols:

“The Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, today announced the national freeze on the sale, purchase, and transfer of handguns comes into effect. From now on, people cannot buy, sell, or transfer handguns within Canada, and they cannot bring newly acquired handguns into the country.”

allthecanadianpolitics

Also its a rightwing endorsed myth that guns ‘protect’ you. This is ‘good guy with a gun’ all over again:

People in homes with handguns more likely to be shot dead, major study finds

Californians living with handgun owners more than twice as likely to die by homicide, study finds

More Guns Do Not Stop More Crimes, Evidence Shows

And before anyone comes at me. I’m queer. I’m Transgender. I am not comfortable that arming us all with deadly weapons is the solution to the bigotry of the right. More likely than not doing so will put a lot more of us at risk.

There are a lot of leftists that I’d feel less safe around if they were carrying a gun.

femmefurina-deactivated20240814

Not to mention in Canada it's not just difficult, but downright dangerous for anyone other than a straight white male to own a gun, even legally.

My dad has a hunting license and rifle and a handgun license for his job (brinks - they just drive around servicing bank machines but they get mugged often enough that they arm themselves).

The rules you have to treat these guns with are, for GOOD REASON, very strict. Padlocked storage units, padlocked ammo in a different room, and, most importantly

if you're a licensed gun owner police can just rock up to your house at any time of the day or night randomly and demand to see your guns and they do not need a warrant. they don't even have to knock (but they usually do out of courtesy).

They have searched MY basement apartment and I don't even own guns. They just had to make sure none were being hidden in the house without being registered.

As soon as you own a legal gun in Canada, or someone you live with does, regardless of what it's for, your life is monitored 24/7.

I should not have to explain why this is bad news for queer or trans people or poc.

darklingdawns

On the other hand, taking up archery is a cool, fun new hobby, completely legal, and allows you to drop the fuckers before they can get close to you if you ever have to...

lastvalyrian

me: hey, there’s a documentary about a topic I am already interested in! let’s watch it!

me watching: already knew that. already knew that. wrong. already knew that. true but misleading. already knew that. already knew that. leaves out the important part. already knew that

darklingdawns

So very true it hurts...

currentlycryingaboutlancelot

“yes, I’ve been wanting to read that!” I say with complete earnestness, as I proceed to ignore every opportunity I have to read it

pelahnar

“I’ve been meaning to read/watch/listen to that, but the stars are not in position, so I can’t do it yet”

darklingdawns

gayfather

the mediocre gatsby

newtgeiszler

the decent wall of china

gayfather

the ok depression

failstun

alright britain

lovett91

The mildly interesting barrier reef

incipient

somewhat fulfilled expectations.

duplen7icy

catherine the ordinary

abominationimperatrix

the satisfactory white shark

demi-shoggoth

Alexander the Fine

a-book-of-creatures

passable pyrenees

drgaellon

the moderately large pyramid of Giza

copperbadge

The Manageable British Bake Off

copperbadge

WHY DID I NOT SAY

THE ADEQUATE CHICAGO FIRE

darklingdawns

The Meh War

she-who-reads-fanfiction

Hands up if you were the child that read thousands of books and as an adult you hit burn out and now only read stories about the same 2 idiots falling in love over and over as you don't have the brain power to get emotionally attached to new characters.

darklingdawns

I see the callouts are getting disturbingly more detailed these days...

If you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna go... uh... do... something. Certainly not check for cameras!

studentlifeproblems

copperbadge

[ID: A tweet from chipnanimus, reading “What happens in your head when you do 27+48? PLEASE respond I’m tryna see something.”]

In theory: Twenty and forty is sixty. Take eight because it’s the higher of the two numbers to get sixty-eight. Eight and two is ten and seven is two plus five, so taking two from seven makes seventy, add the remaining five to make seventy five.

In reality: “Where’s my fuckin’ calculator.” *scrolls phone apps*

darklingdawns

7+8 is 15, carry the 1. 2+4 is 6, add 1 is 7. Total is 75.

funnytwittertweets

brunhiddensmusings

reasons people have used to say i should ‘turn in my man card’ - they found out i dont like beer - they found out i dont watch football - they found out i sit down on the toilet seat when i pee instead of flipping it up - they found out i know how to make cookies, crepes, and can decorate a cake - they found out i dont like hotwings - they found out i do the laundry and dishes half the time it seems like the metric for ‘are you a man’ is ‘do you make the rest of us look bad by comparison’