reddit was trying to censor this too much for my liking … no images, no emojis. i’m like well damn… well let me post it to my own blog then 😄😄😄.
no but seriously AITA ?? 😭😭 like i am so tired of dating.
like i just feel like what he said is kind of rude. yeah i did take a whole day but context is key:
we just matched off a dating app where you already saw like five pictures of me so why when you text me are you asking for more ? i’m not a catfish or anything i have a lot of photos of myself i just hate taking the time to pick which ones i will send. maybe i should just have an automatic folder or something but i don’t, so what !! 😄
also, i did kind of forget but you’re brand spanking new in my phone, fucking do or say something to make me remember you instead of this weird vibe.
because what do you mean you never would’ve asked ?? 😒 that left a bad taste in my mouth. and he also could’ve just facetimed me, we both have iphone. now i don’t want to send ISH lmao.
and he was a cute guy too i was almost excited about him but this just completely turned me off.
Some connections that we experience in life feel more like a pipe dream, rather than a lived experience. A fantasy, rather than reality. Even a nightmare, rather than a fairy tale. When we look at Venus in 12H synastry, we see a connection that doesn't need to be seen to be felt. We see the underlayer of our primal instincts and the things that we like to hide about ourselves in these relationships. We see a connection that feels like it breaks the universal law, a connection that doesn't follow the rules. These two people come together with a very specific purpose and could be meeting each other again in this lifetime. I will be focusing on Venus 12H synastry in a romantic relationship or with a POI/SP.
Long post ahead 𖹭
Venus in 12H synastry is a very complex synastry to have with somebody, and in my opinion, it's one of the synastries that sort of embodies a different energy depending on the nature of the relationship. Because of this, I will be making this a two-part series post so that I can go into greater detail about the complexities of this synastry. My following post will cover what this synastry looks like in a non-romantic sense, like with friendships and family members, coworkers, etc. It embodies a bit of a different energy, which deserves its own explanation, so look out for that post! One final disclaimer: This is not going to resonate with everybody, and I will mention both typical things that you could expect and the more extreme side of things that won't be very relatable to everybody. Remember that not everything I post will resonate with you, and try to read it from the perspective of wanting to learn something new rather than wanting to fit a narrative! Other than that, please let me know what you think, and if you enjoy it, please like and reblog or give me a follow. Enjoy!
Venus in 12H synastry
In this article, I will be discussing the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between involving romantic Venus in 12H synastry. Starting with Venus' perspective.
Right off the bat, I would say that the Venus person feels the seriousness of this connection first. Even if you don't really know the person a lot, you might feel an immediate pull to them and a deep desire to get to know them. You might want to be their hero or their savior or their protector, etc. You might be put in a situation (at the time of meeting) where you are these things for this person. Nonetheless, I find that the Venus person is very self-sacrificing for the house person in this synastry.
Venus wants to truly understand the house person, and I think this is where the issues really start, because the house person is usually not open to Venus entering such vulnerable spaces in their life. But that's for later. The connection that Venus feels to the house person is very spiritual, and it's definitely something that they've never experienced before. Of course, if the Venus person has natal 12H placements, I find that Venus here can have an easier time communicating with the house person. If not, I do see that there is a bit of a challenge. Nonetheless, Venus feels like either divine intervention brought the two of them together, or that the two of them serve a bigger purpose together. The Venus person knows this deep in their heart and it's like they're just waiting for the house person to get there and accept that fate lol.
I'll be honest, Venus could become a little delusional for the house person. This is because the house person is on Venus' mind 24/7 and rent free. It's almost like an impulse. There is definitely an obsessive element to this synastry, but that could honestly go both ways and I think a lot would depend on your natal chart, transits, and whether any of the house person's planets fall into Venus' 12th house, etc. both could also be equally obsessed with each other but in the beginning it is more so Venus because again, Venus feels very passionate about the 12th house. Venus wants to love on the 12th house, and in a way, Venus wants to pull the house person out of their shell and out of that dark, elusive, mysterious, and unreachable place that they resort to.
This synastry can make Venus an unconditional lover 100%. And in a lot of situations, Venus is not naturally that way. Venus could have had strong boundaries before meeting the house person but it's like when they finally meet, all Venus wants to do is connect with the house person even if that means abandoning themselves sometimes. This is where the ugly starts. Venus will sacrifice things like their time, effort, money, creativity, fortune, etc., just to please the house person. This is going to be different for everybody, but if you are not over-giving to the house person, like giving them your resources, time, energy, and the things that I mentioned, you are over-forgiving of them. This comes back to the fact that you accept them fully, flaws and all. However, you should also understand that they don't have to feel the same way and I think this is where a lot of miscommunication and illusion starts to happen with the Venus person because they feel like they're mirroring each other's feelings. For instance, if Venus is very self-sacrificing or would literally give the shirt off their back to the house person, they may assume that the house person feels the same way, and that's not always true. When reality hits that the house person has their own mind, their own feelings, and their own perspective, the Venus person really is shocked by the house person. They can definitely betray each other because this is the house of hidden enemies. However, betrayal hits them very differently.
But, more on the subject of unconditional love. Venus loves them quickly and Venus wants to protect them immediately. It's kind of like Venus wants to protect them from the BS and darkness of the world, like it's their karmic duty. This is because they could feel like they are the only ones who truly knows the house person. The Venus person may not even fully understand why they feel so strongly for the house person, but they don't care. They know what the house person needs and they want to be there to mend their broken heart honestly. In my opinion, this would be very sweet and flattering IF it was warranted or asked for. A lot of the time, the house person is not asking for this from Venus, so that causes its own problems. But, there are also situations where the house person IS seeking Venus for that nurturing and that kind love that Venus has to offer the house person. They very much have a runner-chaser dynamic, and the house person isn't always pushing Venus away, but they will if they feel like Venus is pushing too far and trying to get too close when they are not ready.
Alternatively, I see situations where this pair cannot be together in the physical realm, but connect in their dreams, in the 5D, etc. I mentioned that this is a very spiritual connection, and a lot of times it really does not manifest into a solid relationship because there's no solid house to build on. When you deal with the 12th house, you are dealing with elusive energy, you are dealing with your deepest thoughts feelings and desires. But there's nothing that is really grounded enough to anchor in a solid connection, especially when there is Venus in 12H and/or harsh aspects involved. This of course is not always the case, but if there is a shorter relationship between the two, Venus definitely never forgets the house person and even romanticizes the time spent with the house person. This could be like the secret affair that the Venus person never forgot or maybe was not aware they were involved in until very later on when the two of them already split, etc. If the two people never come together in union or form a commitment, they still have a very serious spiritual entanglement and contract with each other. Even if the time that you spend together was one week or one year, that impact is forever ingrained in both people, but more so the Venus person. I have read charts for people who have this synastry, specifically for the Venus person, who would often share that they dream about the house person even though they haven't seen them in years, they haven't found the same level of passion with another person as they did with the house person, etc. I feel that Venus often romanticizes the connection so much to the point where sometimes the details are even skewed and the truth of what actually happened between both of them is often false or tainted. This is, again, is the uglier and definitely negative side of this synastry, but worth mentioning.
12H synastry is also about illusions and seeing past them. Often, this connection brings a level of illusion or deceit, and I feel like Venus tries to hang on to the connection a little bit stronger than the house person and could be more forgiving of any deceit or lies, and ultimately tries to keep that illusion of a soul tie or soulmate connection alive even if that's not what's happening in reality. Again, this synastry will literally make people feel crazy and it's not cute. I don't know why so many astrologers choose to romanticize this synastry, because just as often as it's good, it is a lot of trouble for people.I have talked to enough people who have expressed that they thought, felt, and acted in ways that they never have prior to meeting the 12H synastry person (this is a pattern I have noticed in both the house person and venus).
Venus really needs to be careful with how often they are romanticizing the house person's energy because it can get them in trouble. It could get them making poor choices and ultimately abandoning themselves by choosing to trust and believe the house person, even if the house person is playing in their face. Discernment is key, and I often find that if/ when these connections go wrong, it feels like a survival moment for Venus in a sense. A breakup should never feel like you have survived a long and never-ending marathon, but that's sort of what 12H synastry feels like. What sucks is that for a lot of people, that feeling sort of never fully fades.
For the house person, I think it is important to mention that they may already feel like an outcast as a person or they might already feel like people don't understand them. I've noticed that the house person is usually somebody who gets misunderstood, often. When the house person meets venus, the house person finally feels seen. The house person feels deeply affected by the Venus person, but does not understand why.
To the house person, Venus is like a leopard in the wild: Venus is stunning, no doubt, but also scary, intimidating, and frightening to the house person. It's actually very interesting to me how the house person can be both so attracted to Venus and so afraid of Venus. Of course not in a literal sense (usually), but in a way that they are scared to be fully vulnerable with the Venus person. This is typically because the house person actually does feel very accepted and seen by the Venus person but it's scary because nobody has ever made the attempt to connect with the house person in such a way. This is sort of where miscommunication could happen, because the house person isn't all bad. The house person is not mysterious, but rather overwhelmed and tries to keep things together internally. I think that the Venus person doesn't always understand that not everybody wants to put all of their traumas and their hurt and their pain, or even their love out on display.
Venus sees the parts of the house person that they try to hide, and that can definitely stir up some unsettling feelings in them. It's not a good feeling for them to be so sus and afraid of someone while simultaneously being deeply attracted to them. Venus stirs these feelings up in the house person and it creates like an internal storm. This is because the house person doesn't feel like they can really trust a Venus person for whatever reason, usually it is because of the illusion that this synastry comes with. But nonetheless, I would say that house person wants to love the Venus person, but feels like they just can't trust them, like the carpet will be pull from underneath them, etc.
I feel like the house person can sometimes become anxiously attached to Venus, even if they don't express that anxiety or show that they want to be in close proximity to venus. I'll be honest with you, it sort of gives Joe from You, in the sense that he watches the women that he really wants from afar, rather than just trying to approach them in a normal and respectful way. Not calling the house person a stalker but I'm saying that they feel safer watching the Venus person and enjoying their energy, than diving deep very quickly. In a normal romantic sense, this could look like being very sketchy and randomly ghosting, then popping back up, texting at all hours of the night, giving Venus attention, then suddenly pulling away while still watching their social media, etc. It looks like the house person showing just enough interest to keep the venus person thinking of them, wondering about them, and holding onto them.
Another note on issues with being vulnerable with the Venus person: I have noticed that the house person feels like their guard drops for Venus really quickly, and they could feel like they have no control over their reactions around Venus. This makes the house person so self-aware and yet so unable to stop themselves from reacting ways that make them feel out of control.
Out of the two, I would say that the house person can be more of the secretive one, but that is not to say that Venus can't be, too. Both can be pretty secretive. I feel that the secretive nature of the house person comes from this desire to feel safe in the connection. I don't always feel like the house person is hiding things to be malicious (though that can happen). Usually, it just feels safer for them to do that. Another part of this is that the house person doesn't always know how to label how they feel, so sometimes it's easier for them to just say that they're “fine” rather than diving into their actual feelings. The house person also just tends to think more negatively and might assume that their real feelings or "true self" would be "too much" for venus to actually love.
The house person has a tendency of playing mind games with Venus, especially using push-pull tactics to get Venus’ attention. But sometimes, it's not even for Venus’ attention. Sometimes, the house person gets so comfortable with sharing that they let themselves be too vulnerable with venus, and then pull away because that feeling is too intense for them. Sometimes it's about playing games, but sometimes it's genuinely just that the house person does not know how to accept that energy from the Venus person without questioning it or not trusting it.
I think in a lot of ways, the house person can be seen as very inconsistent and flaky to Venus, and Venus could take it very personally, but the house person just doesn't know what to do with Venus, I guess. They may know that they want to explore this connection with venus, but there's something in them that feels like it's intangible. They could feel like Venus is unavailable because maybe Venus is. Maybe Venus doesn't always wait for the house person and lets themself explore, etc. But I think a lot of the time, the house person just projects a lot of their insecurities onto Venus even if it is unfair or unjust.
The way that I see it is that the house person is afraid of their complex feelings for Venus because they have never felt such complexities before. They have never met somebody who has rattled their brain and yet made their heart race a million times over. They have never met somebody that challenges them and could feel totally different from them, or like an utter fantasy. I feel that the house person, whether they admit it out loud or not, gets totally enamored with the Venus person. Just like Venus feels for the house person. The problem is that the house person doesn't know how to express this without feeling afraid of what will happen if Venus leaves.
I think that is the biggest distinction in terms of who is more impacted by this synastry. They both are. They both carry the karmic weight of the connection, even after it's over. However, Venus is the planet of love and comfort and beauty.. Venus can know when to leave or when it is time to, but the house person? The house person might be stuck. The house person will be lingering on the memories of the Venus person until they could fully release that energy and see the connection for what it was. So while on the surface it might seem like the house person doesn't have much of a reaction to the Venus person, I would argue that the reaction is a lot stronger for the house person, it's just internalized. It's like having your insides set on fire and wanting to explode but unable to. It's like your heart breaking and having nobody to turn to. This is what it feels like for the house person if and when the Venus person leaves, and if there was a deep connection.
Sometimes, the house person can avoid deep and meaningful connections because they want to avoid falling in love with Venus. I find that the house person tends to cling on to words and intellectual conversation and just deep dialogue more than Venus, and they find that Venus naturally stimulates them intellectually and emotionally. Having conversations about the meaning of life, the future, the things that we hide, and love, feel scary for the house person because they don't typically connect in such a way with other people and they feel like if they give the Venus person the “key” to their heart, or to the parts of themselves that they hide, Venus can somehow destroy them.
Now more about this synastry, together. This otherworldly connection is one that will be felt throughout their entire lifetime. If this works out, I find that this couple ends up marrying and being together for their entire lifetime. If this situation doesn't work out, these two will not forget about each other. Nonetheless, things feel fated and like you two had a purpose in this lifetime. Sometimes you complete that purpose and sometimes you don't. This is also a very psychic and intuitive synastry to have with someone so they might feel like they can read each other's minds or just know what each other needs without needing to use words.
This is the kind of relationship where you will love each other at your very worst and still accept each other. Though this is mostly on Venus’ end, this could also be flipped. You have to take it as it resonates.
This relationship is very healing when it is healthy. I find that Venus wants to help soften and heal the house person, and house person creates a feeling of safety for the Venus person. And it is also worth mentioning that because this is the house of the hidden, intimacy can definitely be found in privacy.
Now onto the bad and ugly.
What makes this connection difficult is the utter lack of clarity and direction. If this connection never gets off the ground it always feels like it's floating up in the air, and it always feels like one or both people can't let each other go. I don't think it matters who feels this way in the connection because both tend to feel it at some point but they tend to ask themselves and each other, “what are we?” often. Oftentimes, they both cannot define what they want, or they are not on the same page at the right time. It's annoying because feelings can definitely exist but neither one of them knows how to put them into words.
Emotional projection is really strong and I kind of covered that earlier in this post. Usually, it is the house person that is projecting fantasies onto the Venus person, and the Venus person seeing what they want to see and not necessarily reality. This could definitely lead to things like avoiding the red flags in the person because they feel like the connection is too deep to let go. I think in some situations, they might feel like it is better to accept a false narrative or fantasy than to face reality or be accountable for the partner they chose.
There can be a lot of hidden dynamics and sneaky behavior in this synastry, especially if this is negative synastry. Of course, this placement shows up a lot and hidden or secret affairs, so that in and of itself can have its own issues. Besides that, I feel like there could be a lot of emotional manipulation and guilt tripping with this synastry, because the two people know so much about each other that they know each other's weak spots and how to play on each other's emotions. It gets messy as all heck. In the worst-case scenario, one or both people might realize that the other person is their hidden enemy or hidden “opp” in some way. Betrayal is unfortunately not uncommon with this synastry.
It is very important to have boundaries, especially spiritual boundaries with these connections because this could also indicate a draining connection that you experience as well. Pay attention to the red flags, and pay attention to how you feel when you are with this person. I've noticed that if somebody is draining your energy and you have this synastry, you might feel really lethargic and tired all of a sudden when you're around this person. A person who is right for you should make you feel energized and calm, not like you need a 10-hour nap.
Now to just wrap everything up. This could be a life-changing and deeply impactful connection that helps you both evolve as people, and it can definitely be a long-term, spiritual connection as well. But, you cannot sacrifice yourself for the sake of love and that is something that happens way too much with this synastry.
For the best outcomes for this synastry, I recommend radical acceptance and radical honesty. Don't hold back how you feel, and don't spend too much time waiting to define what the connection is. If it feels like it is something, it is something and you should give it a chance rather than fighting the current. But of course, strengthen your relationship with discernment and put yourself first always.
Do you have this synastry with anyone and can you relate to this post? Thank you for reading!
- these might be a little lengthy it’s been a min since i’ve done them.
- i wish i had more positive things to say about these signs 😀 but i don’t.
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- if you feel a mutable placement is hiding anything from you, justtt let them talk long enough and they will unknowingly reveal the truth esp gemini or sag. alternatively, gem can just start saying a whole bunch of random ish when trying to distract from one important truth lol, you can tell.
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- sagittarius is attracted to the genuine softness and sweetness of cancer, even when they act like they are not. that’s how you get the random pairings of them when they are so different. the energy of cancer might not be something sag usually comes across in their circle/surroundings. but cancer has to be aware and make sure that the emotional relationship between them is reciprocitive. this can lowkey go for any fire x water relationship tho.
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- with aries sun/venus placements in women, i’ve seen them act a bit strangely in love, for lack of better words. i think it’s a combination of their natural competiveness as well as how cardinals themselves can be imaged centered. for ex. i’ve seen these women date for status or in spite of another woman they are competing with, just kind of shallow things like that. otherwise can just be in toxic relationships where there might be some kind of aspect of ab*se (i guess this is where the mars can show.)
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- taurus women, to me, have a similar reputation to pisces men when it comes to parenthood 😭. it’s like with them, they can show as overly lax mothers or just actually absent at some point . they can even be there but still caught up in their own lives/comforts. it’s like a ‘prefer kids to be taken care of, entertained and out of their face kind of thing.’ pisces men have deadbeat/absent dad trope. maybe it’s like a ‘dark venus’ kind of thing, idk.
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- as a libra moon, i kind of just avoid gemini moons. like we can get along really well at first but then at some point it just gets kind of weird, it’s hard to explain. i think gemini moons have that eternal child thing going on sometimes, which is cool, but i have a libra moon, of course exalted in saturn so at some point we gotta get a little serious and responsible, especially when it comes to emotional intimacy. i don’t know, it’s like a never ending smoke screen with them and it turns me off.
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- as a scorpio sun & venus, it’s very clear to me why pisces sun & venus is one of our most compatiable matches. i see people debate how well they will actually do together but it definitely has that ‘soulmate’ trope for a reason. as a scorpio, i oftentimes find that pisces have the best chance of seeing me clearly where others would misunderstand me. like if scorpio was a ghost, pisces would be the psychic, the only one who could see them and communicate w them lol.
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- aries sun men really think they the baddest b outttt like i already heard but now im really seeing it… what is up w them 😭😭😭 like they want a woman to essentially take care of them and embody the traits that i feel like THEY should embody as fire, cardinal, manz but nooo they wanna be a baddie lmaoooo. like i heard one say he likes girls with motion, im like okay true but baby where is your motion atttt 😀. like it’s cute. i could never date them tho.
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- i desire now to meet more libra sun women, aquarius moons, cap and pisces men, sun and venus. ive felt really comfortable with libra sun women so i would love some of that in my life right now. i only know one aqua moon (my mom) and she’s such a badass, she literally gives no fucks and i need more of that in my life as well. cap and pisces men for romance and chivalry, i want them to battle over me lmao.
🖊️taurus suns …. it’s a no for me love 😭. like 90% of the time.
- because why do you act like that ?? it’s weird because scorpio has the stereotype of being sneaky? but taurus can be too… with their motives. and also … shallow? w their motives. idk. and as a scorpio it’s like … you know i see you right ? 🤔 idk. i could say more but i won’t right now 😭. but im seriously side eyeing tauruses rn 😭.
🖊️ scorpio/pisces placements and just randomly appearing like some kind of ghost or phantom lmaooooo 😭😭😭😭 we’re so cool and emooooo i love it.
- also scorpio placements are not always super into black ! I’ve noticed some of us either like or look really good in pink 💓.
🖊️really want to meet more chilllll capricorn women and men even too 🤷🏾♀️. clarke from love island is a good example; she reminds me so much of my bestie ! 🤞🏾idk i know they get labeled as ‘boring’ or ‘controlling’ but … there are worse things you can be in my opinion 😭. and also they’re literally not these things in my experience! just chill and funny… they can be a little shady sometimes butttt they usually mean well 🤣 just check them 😉. cap rules my 7th house so there’s that as well.
🖊️ i really like the relationships between libras and leos. my sister is a leo and her best friend since high school has been a really solid, sweet libra 💓. the type that is at all the family functions, celebrations, everything. im not sure about romantics relationships but they seem like really good friendships/partnerships.
🖊️ fire signs need sooo much more rest than the other signs. like they’ll be energetic, talkative, typical fire sign behavior but when they crash, they crash deeplyyy 😭. can be the type that can sleep through anything or cranky upon waking. ive heard two fire suns say things like “power nap” and “just resting my eyes.” like yeaaaa sure 🤣😭😭 see you in 5 hrs.
🖊️ okay so in synastry? if someone’s rising is your sun? pls pls make sure you’re not assuming that you already know what rising is experiencing or feeling (even if it sounds like it.) 🥺🫶🏾 let them process and get it out before jumping all over it. ive experienced this in both ways and realized this once i was the rising in the relationship.
that’s it that’s all thank you guyssss for still liking my other posts 😽 be well🫶🏾.
