i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@divine-mania
i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
i am nothing
why does nobody listen to me.
why cant i just have a normal day? a normal week? a normal month? a normal year?
always overridden by suffering and anger and fear. theres always a worry and there is always a problem and there is always something that will hurt and that is why.
that is why you cannot, and should not break.
everything goes by so fast with how each hour bleeds into the next and the days melt together, i feel so beaten and useless for every mistake ive made constantly burning and cracking right in front of me
i really was no different, why deny me of this when im everything a failure could possibly be
im not good enough
i will always just stay along the doorway
my range of emotions go from “it’s scary how much i feel” to “it’s scary how much i don’t feel”
so i started to think about some stuff. never doing that again.
something about me isn’t right.
When you grow up in an abusive home, you don’t become a people pleaser to please people. You become a people pleaser to keep the potential for more abuse away.
saw this on pinterest and thought it might be something traumagenic systems who struggle with thinking their trauma isn't enough need to see
They should invent a new kind of Being Alive where it's not painful and it doesn't hurt constantly and actually feels worth it and you're happy for more than a few hours at a time
bro last night was totally redacted! last night was fully expunged from the record. bro, do you... can you remember last night? what did we do...? what did... did we hurt someone? bro? why won't you look at me? what did I do...? whose blood is this...? bro...?
If you mess up a social interaction you can say "Failed Experiment" and move on
Cannot stress enough that you say this in your head