My Crushing Disappointment

A bunch of nerds trying to play d&d. Current DM: @m1ss-nerdalots

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Tiphareth, our monk/wizard: You tried to kill me! Eiríkr, our werewolf blood hunter: One time! I'm over it

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Elidi, our druid: Mom, I got kidnapped 3 years ago Elidi's mom: Well good to see you're okay

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Aster, our sorcerer: We tortured someone Ariadne, our vampire blood hunter: Wait, what? Aster: What? Aster: You can torture someone if it's on your property

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Sorin, our rogue/sorcerer: If you cut one of the stilts that house is on would it topple? Ariadne, our vampire blood hunter: Say no. Elidi, our druid: No it wouldn't topple. Tiphareth, our monk/wizard: They're held up by druid magic

[dnd-on-a-budget]

I have a new magic stick, so I don't think you want to fuck with me

Aster, our sorcerer

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Did your mom have sex with a volcano?

Kassandra, our barbarian, to Elidi, our lava earth genasi druid

[dnd-on-a-budget]

I heard planes and thought 'oh I forgot there were airplanes in this world.'"

Croe, our bard confusing the other world planes with airplanes

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Sorin, our rogue/sorcerer: Summon me an animal to fight Elidi, our druid: Okay what do you want to fight? Ariadne, our vampire bloodhunter: Wait, we should do a cage match! We throw Sorin in a pit with a lion! Sorin: And we make money off of it!

[dnd-on-a-budget]

DM: Aster you wake up to find a magical staff by your bed Aster, our sorcerer: Santa! Tiphareth, our monk/wizard: That implies a lot about this world

[dnd-on-a-budget]

NPC to Aether, our cleric: You want more than for you friend to come back to life. What do you want? Treble, our bard: A kiss

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Blesséd, our sorcerer: Why didn't you wake me up for watch? Abbadon, our fighter: (gravely) You didn't want to see what I saw

[dnd-on-a-budget]

My pet rat is named Steamboat Willy

Aether, our cleric

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Odette, our wizard: Your dogs are not real dogs Treble, our bard: Of course they are! Odette: They made dinner!

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Odette, our wizard: You upset the whole political climate of a city Treble, our bard: That's just another thursday

[dnd-on-a-budget]

AGAB - All Guards Are Bastards

Abbadon, our fighter

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Dynamite is girl dinner

Beatrix, our artificer

[dnd-on-a-budget]

Treble, our bard: So I can summon 10 lbs of dynamite. Odette, our wizard: No don't do that Beatrix, our articer: You'll level the entire block!