Nerdy Memes

---hoard of silly video games & roleplaying jokes--- (I don't own any of it)

[astraldemise]

[greatlostcause]

[oddarette]

What are your thoughts on Gnomes?

Meh. I prefer wizards.

[cosmonautroger]

[sonandheirofnothinginparticular]

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You have became this medieval role, how do you feel about it

you are in the medieval era and you have this role!

How do you feel?

great!! I love this

good!

It's okay

So bad. I hate this

This is similar to my real job!

Results/other

Voting ended onJul 18

[sceptixfakemon]

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

[sceptixfakemon]

im never leaving this hellsite

[sceptixfakemon]

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

[sceptixfakemon]

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

[parabiota]

STOP SCROLLING

Your life ends in the wasteland.

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[prokopetz]

The reason tabletop RPGs use polyhedral dice – in spite of them being such an unlikely thing to have on hand in the pre-gaming-store era, and rare even in the roleplaying hobby’s tabletop wargame predecessors – is because there just happened to be an educational supply store where they could easily be sourced near where the designers of Dungeons & Dragons lived.

The reason that D&D dragons are colour-coded is because the game pre-dates the widespread availability of fantasy minifigs, so they represented dragons using plastic dinosaurs from the local five-and-dime, and those are just the colours that the plastic dinosaurs used to represent each type of dragon happened to be.

The reason that iconic D&D monsters like the bulette, the owlbear and the rust monster exist is because one day, a bunch of bootleg Ultraman kaiju figurines just happened to be mixed in with the plastic dinosaurs, and – being unfamiliar with Ultraman, and the bootlegs in question being almost unrecognisably shitty anyway – they statted up what they thought the figurines looked like.

Sometimes I wonder what the history of the tabletop roleplaying hobby would have looked like if any of those coincidences had lined up just a little bit differently.

[pendramaenia]

Art and design challenge, everyone:

Find the cheapest, weirdest, ugliest little toy or bauble you can at a local dollar store or thrift shop. Design a new tabletop monster off of that.

[vbartilucci]

I would LOVE to try and figure out what kaiju ended up being the inspiration for what classic monster

[prokopetz]

Knock yourself out – the linked page contains numerous photos of what’s believed to be the specific set of plastic “dinosaurs” that served as the original minifigs for monsters in question. Some of the figures that are included in the set are clearly identifiable as classic Ultraman bootlegs, while others are less recognisable; to the best of my knowledge, nobody’s 100% sure what the figure that inspired the owlbear is supposed to be. For reference, it’s this one:

[lostsometime]

ohhh shit, i always thought the “original” art was just dumb and terrible

“that looks nothing like an owl OR a bear!” i thought

but now i see that it is a VERY ACCURATE ARTISTIC RENDERING

OF SOMETHING THAT IS ITSELF /VERY STUPID LOOKING/

[apolloendymion]

since mrs, ms, and mr are all descended from the latin word magister, i propose the gender neutral version should be mg, short for "mage"

[apolloendymion]

some people think this is a shitpost so i want to clarify that i am dead fucking serious. make mage the official gender neutral honorific NOW. i want it on my passport. i want it on my bank account. i want doctors and judges to use it for me. i don't care if it sounds a little silly. people thought "missus" sounded crass at first. call me mg.

[apolloendymion]

benefits of mg:

easy to pronounce, even for children (though kids 4 & younger may pronounce it more like "mayd" or "maygh")

ONE SYLLABLE!!! ("individual" is too goddamn LONG.) you have to be able to say it quickly and casually

ends in a soft vowel sound, so it'll flow right into the next word ("ind" halts the whole sentence)

fits neatly into the existing structure as a relative of master/mistress that can be abbreviated down to an m and one other letter

distinct enough that it can't be mistaken for either gendered term (if you call me mix I'll kill you. it sounds like miss with extra steps)

wizard.

drawbacks:

there aren't any

yes, i know about milligrams and magnesium. i don't give a shit. ms can also mean microsoft. who cares.

[mega-gaymer-party]

[podcastwizard]

dnd jokes that will always be funny no matter what your dm tells you

"jesus christ" "who's that"

"this is just like (tv show/movie)" "that's my favorite play"

referring to famous musicians or actors from the real world as "bards"

adding the word "fantasy" in front of modern things (i pull out my Fantasy iPhone and open Fantasy Tinder)

"how hurt are you" "on a scale of one to twenty-eight i'd say i'm at about a nine."

feel free to add more

[silverhawk]

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

[wbicepuppy]

no come back ma’am

[spoookiepie]

*under my breath* underwater girlfriend

[transmechanicus]

underwater wife

[jambambles]

Underwater love of my underwater life

[gailynovelry]

There are benefits to being a marine biologist

[tentacleteapot]

"would you fuck your clone" = boring, who cares, the answer says nothing about you other than whether or not you're your own type

"would you fuck MY clone" = unexpected, high potential to cause a lot of 'why would you fuck my clone and not me?' drama, reasonable question to ask if you're a mad scientist

[yourdndstories]

Sometimes you just have to ask.

Based on a submission by @dearratroi